Description:  Should one ask for a promissory repayment note when lending money to a family member?

Raise your hand if you are a generous giver to your family. I am. Giving does not have to always be in a form of money. It can be in the form of charity with your time, psychological support, gifts, extending grace, and the list can go on and on depending on the need of the family member. The thing about family is, when one member see that you are faithfully helping another family member, many times instead of saying “thank you for helping that member, because God knows I do not have the time nor the funds to help,” instead they think of ways to include themselves as a recipient of your generosity.   

Now here is how this story goes: Cousin Paul and his two siblings say that they are very grateful to Cousin Grace for the help she is giving to their mother. Yet, their gratefulness is only executed by way of lip service, because their actions say otherwise. It is not that Grace is expecting or asking them to show their gratefulness in actions. She is tired of them acting like her generosity towards their mother is an implied contract for the family to use her for their personal financial responsibilities. Every month they are asking Grace for money.

Paul is always asking Grace to pay for the repairs of his car, which happens to break down monthly.  Paul’s sister Betty is constantly asking Grace to buy her kids school shoes or for money to get her husband’s work clothes out the cleaners. Paul and Betty oldest brother Junior is always running out of cigarette money. Every time Grace says yes to one request it is follow with the same or a different financial request the next month.

After years of helping our aunt and her kids financially, Grace finally put her thinking cap on and begin to see that our cousins were taking advantage of the generosity she freely gives to their mother, our aunt.  However, instead of verbally saying no to our cousins, Grace decided she would usher our cousins’ request for help in the direction of another family member (Me). So, when Paul asked Grace if she could cosign for him a new car. She tells Paul to call Cousin Rose for assistance. Yes, you heard me right. She tells Paul to call me, like I am the bank of fools. This dude calls me like he had been given a guaranteed certificate of deposit, that had reached its full term, and he was ready to cash it in, from the bank of fools, in hope of purchasing a new car. Here is what gets me, I never received a call from Grace informing me about the conversation she had with Paul or her decision to rescind the financial help she graciously gave to our aunt and cousins or to give me a heads up that she had implied that I would help them. Instead, she had butthead (Paul) give me a call; and he had the nerve to talk to me like I stole his money, after I tell him that I am not cosigning or giving any money towards a new car for him. Let me tell you, I thank God for the new me. I was so proud of myself for not cussing when he became irate and cussed at me; instead, I blocked his number. Paul had the nerve to call my oldest son to tell him that I had blocked his number and that I was reneging on cosigning on the purchase of a new car for him.

Instead of my son calling me to find out the truth, he calls me to complaint about me promising to cosign for Paul, when he, per his words, is the one who needs a new car for work.  When I tell my son that I did not promise to cosign for Paul, my son asked me if I could cosign for him a new car or if he could borrow ten thousand from me to purchase a small economy car for fourteen thousand. My son says that he is tired of him and his wife having to share the minivan.

My son further tells me that he has five thousand in his saving account and that he has a lot of money invested in Bit coins therefore he would be able to pay me back with interest once the Bit coins pay off. Now this is the same son that I help years ago by cosigning for his first car. He did well in paying back his car loan for the first three years of his four-year contract. However, that fourth year was on me. To keep my credit in good standing, I had to pay my son car note, insurance and a thousand dollars in delinquent tickets to register the car. My son promised to pay me back once he got back on his feet. Ask me did I get my money back; of course Not.

Now my son is willing to give me a promissory note of repayment. I think I am going to send my son to Cousin Grace for a loan. He can give her a promissory note. One good diversion deserves another. Grace, he’s coming your way.   

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