What to do when one of your family members is a crook with an influence on your child.

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A mother with ten children raises her kids to become go getters. She instills in her six boys and four daughters the importance of not looking to receive a handout; but to be diligent in finding honest ways in providing for their needs. She lived and raised her kids by the phrase, “if a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat”. Her oldest five kids, which consist of three boys and 2 daughters were enrolled in government summer jobs every year starting at the age of fourteen until they graduated high school. Her seventh child Richard looked up to his older siblings, he desperately wanted to follow in their footsteps; however, Richard was too young for the government summer program. So, he got a paper route job at the age of 11. Richard would get up at 4:00 am in the morning to deliver newspapers before going to school and on the weekends. He used his older brother bike to make his deliveries. On weekends after delivering the newspapers, Richard would go to the local grocery stores to help customers carry groceries to their cars and return the shopping cart back to the store. The customers would tip Richard for his service. Richard never missed a weekend standing outside the grocery store helping customers. It did not matter if the temperature was below zero with snow piled sky high. Richard was faithful to his job, and just like his siblings, Richard used his money to help his mom feed and clothe him and his younger siblings. There were times, Richard would come home upset because some of the older boys in the neighborhood would rob him of his tips. Richard made a deal with his younger brother who was 18 months younger; yet, twice his size, to become his bodyguard for ¼ of his take home tips. Richard and Lawrence were now a team. Lawrence would hit rocks with his bat as Richard worked. Richard never had a problem with anyone robbing him again.

As Richard grows older, not only did he learned great work ethics from his mother; but he also learned from the neighborhood guys who use to rob him. Richard was never without a pocket full of money. In high school he dressed in the latest fashion and would at times pick up food from the local mom and pop restaurant for his siblings. When asked by his older siblings, how did he make large amounts of money doing small, odd jobs, Richard never told. He would say, “mind your own business” as he shares the fruit of his labor with them; “just enjoy”, Richard would say. The mother of ten never question her kids on how they made their money after graduating from high school. She believed; they were following the same honest principles she had instilled in them as kids. Little did she know, all were except Richard the thief.

After graduation, they all found professional skilled jobs. Some after attending colleges; others after receiving training through a government program. Richard had several different skilled jobs though-out the years. Although he never got marry or lived with anyone, him and his longtime girlfriend have a son together (Richard Jr.). Richard continued to live the good life. He bought a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, as well as several expense cars and motorcycles. Richard is known as the favorite uncle among his nieces and nephews. Regardless of how financially stable his siblings were, he would take his nieces and nephews school shopping for the latest name brand clothes; throwing them birthday parties; buying them the latest games and always giving them an allowance. Richard siblings often asked him how is that you make so much money on jobs that other people on the same type of job do not make. Richard has always been a fast talker. He would make you believe the sky is purple when you could clearly see it is blue. He would give them a fast talk explanation that did not make sense. Richard sister Barbara did not agree with her brother showering her kids with gifts that they did not earn. It went against the morals and values she was trying to instill in them. She wanted her kids to learn the same honest work ethics that she learned growing up. It was difficult for her to reward her kids for good grades and for doing their chores when her brother was secretly buying them expensive gifts that minimize the reward she gave to them. On the flip side, her brother secret gifts made it equally difficult for her to reprimand her kids for not having good grades or not doing their chores. Barbara would find new shoes under her kids’ bed, as well as new clothes hidden in the garage. One time she comes home from work and the kids had a new tv, a new stereo and a new DVD player in their room. She forbidden her brother to come to her home when she was not there. Richard ignored his sister requested and kept being the favorite uncle who shower her kids with whatever they wanted.

By the time Richard was released from jail for the second time for grand theft, Barbara felt her kids were old enough to have a heart-to-heart talk with them regarding their uncle criminal activities. She felt her kids was old enough to handle the truth. She believed telling them the truth would help them understand why she did not want them accepting gifts and money from Richard especially without her knowledge and permission.

Barbara three oldest kids understood and honor her wishes. However, her youngest child Chris looked up to his uncle with admiration. He slowly develops his uncle fast-talking thieving ways. Chris married a woman who was street wise. Chris loved impressing his wife with stories about his uncle. His wife and uncle became friends. Chris was happy to see his uncle and wife collaborating on how to increase money using street skills. He was proud of his small family’s street skills; he wore it like it was a badge of honor. He taught his son how to steal the kids arcade tickets as they were playing the games and were not aware that his son was dropping to the floor pretending to tie his shoe as he snatches their tickets coming out of the machine. It did not matter if these tickets only served a purpose of getting a cheap toy that did not last longer than a few days. Chris took prided in his son putting a candy bar in his pants before running out the store and getting away with it. He would intentionally buy his son pants a size bigger so that they would sag. Each time one of Chris’s siblings would ask him why his son wears sagging pants without a belt or why he doesn’t reprimand his son for stealing. Chris fast talking explanation always left them with a puzzle look on their face as they whisper, “why did I asked”.

Richard and Chris were skilled in educating future thieves. Eventually, Richard was arrested and was sentenced to many years in prison. Chris, not having his mentor to cheer him on, slowly changed him from his life as a thief to finding a legitimate job as a shipping and receiving clerk in a warehouse.

Hopefully, this story will encourage parents to be vigilant and aware of who their children idolize as mentors. As parents we must character inspect those who has a great influence in our children life. Because, if faith comes by hearing so will corruption. Our kids will mimic what they see and hear. Where do you want your kid’s morals and value to come from? When one’s hearing is from a bad source, so will their perception on the truth of life.

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