It’s time to exit from this open relationship before my heart gets broken.

Let’s talk about it…

Paul and Martha have been in an exclusive relationship for five years. They both are in their mid-thirties. They met at a millionaire dating event put together by Paul and his business partners. Paul is a member of a millionaire entrepreneur club. The name of the club is “Reaching for The Sky Millionaire Club”. The club consist of five guys who are friends and millionaires. They pool together a percentage of their income to invest in new joint adventures. The members of the club purchase together, two high rise condominium buildings; one night club and bar; a golf course and club; and the millionaire dating club. The purpose in starting the millionaire social dating club was to bring people of the same financial status together in a safe environment. Paul and his four-business partner had trouble finding women to date that was in the same financial status as themselves. The club host millionaire parties one a month. Only club members are allowed to attend the monthly gala. Each member must pay a yearly membership fee in the amount of $200,000. The fee covers the expenses of the monthly gala. Paul was mesmerized by Martha beauty and poise when she walked into their first millionaire club party. She walked with confident; yet she was very dainty and poised. One could tell her confident was not arrogance. That night at the gala, Paul introduces himself to Martha as one of the club owners. They begin to talk. They both realized they have a lot in common. Before the evening was over, they exchanged contact information. They were dating each other for six months when Paul asked for the relationship to change from casual to exclusive. Martha asked Paul his reason for wanting to be exclusive. Paul expressed how he notices the attention she gets from other guys when she attends the millionaire monthly galas. He didn’t want anyone else to snatch her away from him. Martha agrees to change their dating arrangements. Once Martha and Paul became exclusive, she stops attending the monthly galas. Paul continued to attend as one of the owners. Martha did not understand why Paul had to attend as an owner. She felt staff was more than capable of making sure all went well at the parties. Nonetheless, she wasn’t going to tell Paul how to handle his business. Three years after exclusively dating Paul, Martha noticed a change in him. They would talk less on the phone; go out together to dinner and other social gatherings less; and he stopped spending the night at her home. He was treating her like a one-night stand each time they came together. After years of Paul’s change in behavior, Martha decided their relationship was not worthy of the status exclusive. She asked Paul for an open relationship. Paul was opposed to an open relationship but have no other choice when Martha presented receipts showing that she had proof that he was dating other women from the millionaire social club. She was tired of sitting home alone with limited contact to Paul while he was out enjoying himself. Paul agreed to the open relationship under one circumstance; that she does not rejoin the millionaire club to find dates. Martha agreed.

Paul thought by preventing Martha from becoming an active club member would limit her from finding anyone to date. Martha found a new website called “The Millionaire Socialites.” To join the site, a person would have to create a profile as well as pay a monthly membership fee of $300. To Martha surprise, as a new site, the millionaire dating website had many members. Martha was intrigued by three individuals on the site. They all were handsome, single, with no kids. The first person she met and started dating is Jesse. Jesse is a very adventurous person. He loves to sky dive; sail; take hot air balloons rides; and hike. William is the second person she met and is also dating. William loves theatrical outings. He and Martha would fly all over the country to attend concerts, plays and musicals.  Glen is the third person she met and is also dating. Glen loves walking alongside the shore at the beach and planning romantic picnics. Also, he loves indoor rock climbing, bike riding, skating and going to the gym with his date. Martha felt when you put all four of the men she was dating together, she had the perfect man. Of course, Paul has priority over the other three. Nevertheless, she never had any scheduling problems. Her life appeared to be purposeful and fulfilled. She was living her best life. She never had to sit home waiting for Paul to have time for her again. She never wonders about who he was dating or what he was doing. Martha did not care about what people thought about her living her life out loud in the same manner as men. Martha thought to herself, if a man can do it, so can I. I do not believe in this double standard Mombo Jumbo bull kraft.

Because Martha was always readily available for Paul, he did not know that she was dating three other guys. This caused him to become very arrogant in his disposition toward her. One of the things Martha had always loved about Paul is his confidence was without arrogance. This is what drew them together as kindred spirits. Suddenly, Martha notices Paul was feeling himself by thinking he had the upper hand in their relationship because he had access to many women who were members of his millionaire social club. Also, because he didn’t see any signs of Martha dating anyone other than him. Paul became so arrogant, he begins to shove his dating relationships in Martha’s face by telling her, I can’t come over tonight as planned, because Janice needs more of my time. I will be spending the evening with her. Barbara and I will be out of town for three days on a weekend cruise. I will celebrate your birthday with you next month after I return from Jamaica with Susie. Martha would smile without comments to Paul arrogant statements. She realized, why am I making Paul a priority in our open relationship when he isn’t making me a priority. She thought to herself, as of today this will end; I will fit him in according to my schedule. I know I am the one who suggest the open relationship; however, it was only because he was secretly dating other women; so, I figure why not join him by dating other men.

Paul calls Martha after he returned from his Jamaica trip. Rather than ask her how she was doing, he immediately started to talk about the awesome time he had in Jamaica. He was telling her about the trip like her and Susie was best of friends. Martha patiently listens to him talk without interrupting his flow. When he finishes bragging, he tells Martha, I cleared Saturday so we can spend the day celebrating your birthday. Paul was taken back by Martha’s comment. “Paul honey, states Martha, why don’t you give me a call on Sunday with the details of how much fun you had celebrating my birthday. Maybe Janice or Barbara is available to celebrate with you. Susie might be to tire after the Jamaica trip. I have plans on Saturday. As a matter of fact, the only dates I have available is a Thursday evening three weeks from today and a Saturday one month from this coming Saturday. Let me know if any of these dates are good for you. Maybe we can go see a movie or go to our favorite restaurant together.” “What do you have plan, in place of celebrating your birthday with me, asked Paul.” “Saturday morning, Jesse and I will be sailing on his boat. We will have lunch on the Marina and spend Saturday evening taking a helicopter ride to dinner on his friends private Island.” “Who the hell is Jesse?” “Someone I am dating, states Martha.” “Does Jesse know you are in an open relationship?” “Yes, he does and so do William and Glen.” “What the F. How many men are you dating?” “You make four”. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating three men besides me?” “Paul, I might have been the first to verbally request an open relationship; but it was only after finding out you had been secretly dating other women for two years while we were in an exclusive relationship. When you agreed to the open relationship, you were the one who set the rules. Not one time did you state I have to report to you who I was dating. All though I am dating three other men, I always made you priority until I realized that I was not priority in your life. I decided to follow your lead in this open relationship. So, you tell me what is it that you want to do. I refuse to be in another one-sided open relationship with you. Whereas you are the only one dating other people while I sit home waiting for you to have time for me. I am not that girl. I have too much confidence in myself and self-love. I am not close minded to trying new things; for this reason and because of my love for you, is the only reason why I requested an open relationship. Otherwise, I would have simply ended our relationship once I found out you were dating other women while we were dating exclusively. Talk to me. What do you want to do?” “Let me think about it. I will call you tomorrow, state Paul.” Both hangs up the phone.

The next day Paul calls Martha. “Hello Martha, I gave our conversation on yesterday a lot of thought. I need for us to stop in the name of love. It’s time to exit from this open relationship before my heart gets broken. I am willing to go back to us dating exclusively. I promise you; it will not be one-sided. If you agree to us dating exclusively, I will immediately end my relationship with the other women. I am here to commit to you and only you. My actions will align with my words. I will be more present in this relationship. Will you give us another try?” “Yes, Paul; I would love to give our relationship another try. I am open to us only dating exclusively. I will also end my relationship with the other men immediately.” “Can I come over tonight? States Paul. I need to see you; kiss you and hold you in my arms. I love you, Martha.” “I love you too Paul.”

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