How do one switch from a player to a family man?

Let’s talk about it…

“Hey Big Red, what’s going on? I hear your boy Reggie is throwing another party on the yacht this coming Mother’s Day. He is calling it ladies’ night. The flyer isn’t as detail as normal. It did not list the cost at the door. Do you know if the lady’s cost is discounted or free, asked Debbie?” “Hey Debbie, you are out shopping late. I thought only the guys goes to the grocery store late at night to avoid the crowd of women during the day unless they are on the prowl. So, tell me, which is it for you? Why are you shopping this late?” “I just got off work from my occasionally part-time bartending job. So back to my question about Reggie’s party.” “Oh yeah, I saw a copy of the flyer; however, I haven’t spoken to Reggie since reviewing it. Normally, he would discuss the event with me before posting the flyer on social media. So, I’m not sure if he wants me to work with him for this event. I will send you a text as soon as I have more details than what is stated on the flyer.” “Okay, thanks Big Red.” As Debbie turns to walk away, Big Red shouts out. “Hey Deb, are you still working your daytime job as an Accountant?” “Yes, I am still working as an Accountant. My brother owns a restaurant; I sometimes fill in as a bartender when he is short of staff.” “I hear you, shouts Big Red. I might need to hire you to help me with balancing my books. We can talk about it later. Take care.” Debbie heads to the register as Big Red continued to shop.

Two days later, Debbie noticed a revised flyer was posted. The new flyer was more detailed. In honors of Mother’s Day, the cost at the door is $5 for women only. The men had to pay the regularly door cost of $20. The cost of drinks was not discounted. After reviewing the new flyer Debbie call her girls to see if they were going to the event. Debbie and her three friends were all single and normally go to party events together. Two of her friends dated Reggie at the same time but did not know it because Reggie convinces them both to keep their relationship with him private. He gave them some lame excuse that they both believed. Even though their gut was telling them Reggie reason for keeping it a secret was questionable; they did as he requested because they both did not want to lose what they perceived as a good thing. Debbie’s friend Cindy was so in love with Reggie; she wanted to shout it to the world. Cindy did not understand why Reggie would not allow her to at least tell her best friends or her family. She understood it’s a possibility Reggie image as an entertainer made a lot of money, especially from women, if he showcases himself as a single man. However, she knows of many male entertainers who is publicly in a relationship; yet they are very popular among women. The women still come out to these entertainers shows and shout out their names knowing they are in a relationship. Cindy was so in love she wanted to burst with expressing her love to others for her man. After two years of dating Reggie in private, she decided to tell her girls and asked them to keep it secret. Cindy decided to invite the girls over for a game of spade. Each of the girls would take turns hosting a night of spade at their house on the weekends. Sometimes they would team up in hosting. The host was responsible for drinks and finger foods. This was the lady’s way of keeping their bound strong regardless of what was going in life. After a couple of games and drinks, Cindy was ready to share her good news. “Ladies, before we begin the third game, I have something I would like to talk with you all about. I have been secretly dating someone we all know. Before you all question my loyalty to you as my friends, I was torn between violating the trust of my man by telling what he asked me to keep private with good reasons. Yet at the same time, I realized I am violating the trust of my friendship with you all. I have peace within myself, to understand by telling you all my secret, it will remain a secret until my man, and I decide together to go public.” “Ok girl, shouts Gabby, spill it. What is your secret?” Without further delay, Cindy states, “Reginald and I have been dating for two years.” “What the F, shouts Bunny. Are you talking about Reggie the entertainer and promoter? The person who yachts parties we attend?” “Yes, states Cindy. Why do you sound so upset?” “I am more than upset; I am mortified. Reggie and I have been dating for three years. Did he give you the same lame excuse he gave to me; by saying it will hurt his career if he goes publicly to declare he has a girl friend?” “Yes, that’s exactly what he said to me, states Cindy. I am so sorry Bunny; I would never do anything intentionally or directly to hurt you. I had no idea you were dating him as well. I am so sorry.” “It’s okay Cindy, I am not mad at you. He lied to us both.”

Gabby holds her head down as she raised her hand to share what she knows about Reggie. The ladies turn towards Gabby afraid to speak. “Debbie breaks the ice by saying, don’t’ tell me he is dating you too Gabby.” “No, he is not dating me, but he is engaged to my co-worker. My co-worker confided in me three months ago because she wants me to be in her wedding. She told me to keep it a secret until they go public before the wedding.” “You ladies can no longer hold this man secrets states Debbie. No telling how many more women is dating Reggie and holding his secret.” “What do we do? Asked Bunny.” “Tell it publicly with proof of pictures states Debbie.” The ladies spend the rest of the evening posting pictures of Reggie with Cindy and Reggie with Bunny, as well as love quotes from Reggie to Cindy and love quotes from Reggie to Bunny. Two weeks after posting the pictures, Gabby reported to the ladies that her co-worker end her engagement to Reggie. Gabby expressed how sad she feels for all the ladies hurt by this man. She states that her co-worker put in for two weeks of personal time to deal with the trauma this womanizer caused her. A week before the Mother’s Day party event on the yacht. A flyer was posted on social media stating the event has been canceled until further noticed. Debbie calls Big Red to see if she can get some information from him because Reggie refused to take Cindy and Bunny calls after learning they were the ones who initiated the flood of woman that came forth after seeing the pictures those two posted on social media. Big Red looks at his caller ID to see Debbie was calling. He picks up his phone. “Hey Deb, what’s up girl?” “Hi Big Red, how are you doing? I hope all is well?” “All is well, so what’s up?” “Well, I know you work with Reggie and I was wondering why the Mother’s Day event has been canceled. I was looking forward to going.” “I am sure you know about the woman putting Reggie on blast via the social media. You should know about it; I see two of your friends is among the many women who has post pictures putting him on blast.” “Yes, I have heard about it. I don’t talk to my girls about it because it is a sore sensitive area for them.” “I understand, states Big Red. Anyway, Reggie is taking time away from the public to self-reflect and to get back to his roots; his spiritual roots. From what I hear, he is out the country at a spiritual retreat for men. Hurting the love of his life, who he was engaged to marry soon; has been devasting for him. I know that sounds strange because he is the one who caused the hurt. But what women do not understand is that sometimes men do not know why they are a womanizer. It’s like an addiction that they cannot control because they do not understand how, why and when it begin. The best way I can explain it to a woman is by relating it to a diet. Women are always dieting. You women go up and down in weight which cause you to always be on a diet. One would think that if you once master how to lose weight that you would take what you learned and use it for life to maintain your idea weight. Maybe this would be easy if you do not need food to sustain life; but you do. Therefore, the thing that sustain life also can take your life if you do not learn how to find a healthy balance. Reggie is learning how to find a healthy balance by being in a relationship with one woman and only one woman.” “Thank you for that break down Big Red. This changed my perception of Reggie. I will pray for him as well as for the woman he has hurt. All of them need to heal so that they do not pass that hurt they are feeling on to the next person they become involved with.” Amen, declared Reggie. Have a good evening, Deb.” “You as well.” The two hangs up.

At the retreat, after three days of fasting, Reggie enters a cave they call the holy of holies. This cave is where the men go to pray and spend intimate time with God in mediation. Reggie is dressed in white linen and is bare footed. He kneels on a huge soft pillow as he spends time in the presence of God. Dear God, it’s me, your son Reginald. I know it has been a while since I engaged in conversation with you. You, being an all-knowing God, knows that you are always in my thoughts. It is for this reason; my actions always caused me to feel guilty; to rid myself of the guilt so that I could live the life I was living without remorse; I separated myself from you by hiding. I know it was foolish of me to think I could hide from you. Especially when I felt your presence each day. Your love was always with me. It is your love that is drawing me back to you this very moment. Heavenly Father, in view of your mercy I am offering my body as a living sacrifice by using the strength and power of your holy spirit to live a life that is pleasing to you. I now understand, the peace I am so desperately searching for is in pleasing you. I no longer want to conform to the pattern of this world, the pattern of my toxic living. I have opened my heart and spirit to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Also, I now understand this doesn’t mean I cannot have fun in life; but it means I will no longer intentionally hurt people to satisfy my personal lust. Father God, in your son Jesus Christ name, allow people to one day see the new me and act according to what they see in me now and not on what they knew of me in the past. I understand this will take time for people to trust me and possibly see the new me. No matter the length of the course, I will remain steadfast in the new me without compromise. God, I thank you for being a God of second and third chances. However, many chances it took for me to get it right, I thank you for those chances. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

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