Let’s talk about it…

Robert is preparing for an interview with a local entertainment news station. He has won a Lifetime Achievement Award for the work he has done with at-risk youths. Robert is the founder and CEO of a non-profit called Higher Learning and Achievement. The core purpose of the non-profit is to supply a safe place for inner city kids to come after school where they can learn techniques and skills in becoming a productive citizen as they mature into an adult. The non-profit teaches the kids motivational skills; communication skills; discipline; and entrepreneur skills.

During the interview, Robert was asked what motivated him to start a non-profit for inner-city at-risk kids. Robert expressed to the interviewer, that as a child, his parents and uncle taught him the same skills that is being taught in his non-profit. Per Robert, “although I parted away from what I was taught for a short period in my life, I never forgot what I learned as a child. For this reason, I was able to find my way back to being a productive citizen.” Robert further stated, that he feels many inner-city kids are lash key kids because their parents have to work long hours and therefore, they miss out on significant training that will help guide their paths in life. The interviewer asked Robert if he would like to share a story from his childhood that led him to where he is today. Yes, replied Robert.

“As I was approaching my eighteenth birthday which was approximately three weeks prior to my high school graduation. My parents suggested we combine my birthday and graduation into one big celebration. I agreed with my parents in having one celebration for all my school friends. However, it was important to me to have a small private celebration with my five best friends since elementary school. My mother agreed to put together a backyard party and invite all my school friends to attend from 6pm to midnight. My father agreed to host an overnight sleep over at my parents’ log cabin in the woods with my five best friends. I expressed to my parents, that the camping trip would be beneficial in my closes friends’ and I sharing thoughts; confusion; questions; and concerns about the next chapter in our lives as we move from high school into a life as young adult male. As a child, since the age of ten, my friends nickname me preacher. I have always been the voice of reason within my peer group. I would convince my friends to handle disagreements by discussing the circumstances that led to the disagreement. This is because my parents taught me hitting someone with your fist doesn’t solve a disagreement; it only makes it worse. Therefore, I would challenge my friends’ reasons for wanting to fight each other by afflicting pain with their hands. Many times, my friends would walk away from a heated conversation without fighting after challenging them to think and question their need to express anger by afflicting pain on each other. My father Thomas felt the camping trip was an excellent idea. He suggested we invite his brother, my uncle William. My uncle William was a youth minister at his church. My dad felt William would be helpful in answering concerns and questions the boys might have. My dad assured me, him and William would only be there to assist when asked. It was important to dad that I know he trust my judgement by allowing me to facilitate my event as I had planned.

On the day of my celebration, the backyard party went well. It looked like the entire graduating senior class was in my backyard. My mother hired a caterer to prepare a variety of finger foods and desserts. A variety of non-alcohol drinks were available as well. My parents and my uncle William chaperone the party. By midnight the backyard was cleared of people except for myself and my five best friends who I invited to sleep over and attend the camping trip. I and my five friends camped out in the backyard. We were awakened at 5:00a.m to the smell of bacon, sausage and eggs cooking in the kitchen. After breakfast, my dad asked me and my friends to shower and prepare our overnight bags for camping at the cabin in the woods. By 8:00a.m, the RV was packed and ready for the long five-hour trip to the woods. We all enjoyed the five-hour road trip by listening to our favor music CDs and reminiscing about the highlights of high school. Upon arriving at the cabin, me and my friends changed into our swimming shorts as my father and uncle prepared to grill hotdogs and burgers for lunch. Once everyone had settled down from swimming and eating lunch, my uncle opens the floor of conversation by asking me to allow my heart to guide me in directing the discussion on the next chapter in our lives as young adults. After thanking my uncle and dad for their support, I expressed to my five friends. “I feel as young men moving from one important pivotal stage in our lives to another, it’s important to have clear understanding and directions toward what’s ahead for us. I say to them, throughout this past year, I have talked to many of my peers; not just you five friends that is here with me, regarding the next chapter of our lives. Many said that they do not know what to do after high school. Some will attend college; others stated they will look for a job. Ninety percent of my peers isn’t sure what they are going to do. As you all know, through-out high school I volunteer as a mentor for elementary school age boys at the local YMCA. At the YMCA, when I asked the young boys to share in conversation what their parents has taught them about morals and values or what to do or not to do in becoming a young man. These young boys did not recall having any conversations on character building. They only thing they could recall is being told to “take out the trash; wash your hands; eat all your food; look out for your younger brother and sister; do not play in the classroom; come straight home from school; come in the house before the streetlights comes on; and do your homework.” This led me to wonder, where would they end up without any structural guidance in building a stable fruitful life as they grow into young adults. My parents have always raised me according to the principle outlined in Proverbs 22:6 of the bible. This proverb tells us to train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. The question that ponders my thoughts is; do parents understand that they are to train their children, from age zero to eighteen, in preparation for adulthood. Or do they think their only position as a parent is to feed, clothed and discipline their child for bad behavior. Or, is it possible that parents believe that the training starts at age eighteen once the child graduate from high school? At this point of me speaking, I turned to my five friends and asked each of them to share what training their parents had given to them in preparation for adulthood or life on their own.”

The interviewer asked Robert what did he learned from asking his friends that question. “Well, they all stated that their parents never gave any training in preparation for them living outside their family homes as a young adult. Two of my friends talked about playing sports through-out high school taught them discipline and also how to be a team player by understanding it’s okay to be recognized as an individual due to one’s skills; however, the spotlight has to be about the team. All five stated, the one thing they observed from their families is that their mothers and sisters took care of the household as their fathers worked long hours outside the household. They also observed in some classmate households that both parents worked; therefore, they were not sure who took care of the household duties.

The interviewer asked Robert, how did your camping event lead to you starting your own non-profit. “Well, I always had the desire to mentor kids. However, for a short period of time, I went in a different direction by becoming a probation officer. Our jails were inundated with young men who had no directions in life. I felt, maybe I could make a change in their lives by guiding them to make better decisions and by helping them find jobs. The interviewer asked; how did that work out? “As you can see, I am here today, it did not work out well. Many of the men on probation were condition to the street training they learned as kids. There was no changing their mindset. On many occasions, I found myself having to fight for my life by using force with my hands. This went against the person I was as a child growing up. However, it took me back to my original path in mentoring kids. Catching them at their most informative years to instill skills and principles that would guide them in becoming productive citizens. I believe kids most informative years actually starts at age four through age eighteen. When they enter into preschool until the time, they graduate high school and have to make that lifelong decision as to where do they go from there.” Robert, do you have any closing remarks asked the interviewer. “Yes. I challenge all parents to raise their children with principles that aid them in making good morally sound decisions, and train them to be able to live independent of their families by teaching them simple skills like balancing a check book; budgeting and saving for a raining day. We as parents can not rely on the schools to teach our kids life skills; and we definably do not want to depend on the streets to teach them. When we train up our children in the way they should go, I believe they will live a life that is best describe in Psalms one. Which reads as follows: “Blessed is the man that walk not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law he mediates day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bring forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither and whosoever he does shall prosper. The ungodly are not so; but are like the chaff which the wind drive away. Therefore, the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord know the way of the righteous; but the way of the ungodly shall perish.” Thank you, Robert, for this interview. It has been very informative and enlighten. “Thank you for the opportunity to share my story, replied Robert.”