Let’s talk about it…

Juanita and Theresa have been friends since the age of three. Their mothers are wives of military soldiers that lived with their families on the Army based. The mothers met on the Army based when each of them was pregnant at the same time with their daughters. Juanita has a brother three years older. Theresa has an older brother and sister who are twins. Theresa’s twin siblings are five years older than her. The two mother’s relationship grew close shortly after their husbands were deployed at the same time. Juanita and Theresa were three years old when their fathers were deployed.

The mothers became each other support system. Juanita and Theresa were like sisters. They were in the same Sunday school class. They attended the same elementary and high school. Both girls were socially active; however, Juanita was more talkative than Theresa. Theresa was sociable in the presence of people; however, at home, she enjoyed her quiet time. Being a social butterfly, Juanita would talk on her phone whenever she was not in the presence of people. She was a people person who constantly needed open communication. Throughout school, Juanita would procrastinate on many things that should have been done in a timely manner due to her constantly talking on the phone. Theresa was always there to help Juanita get back on task or meet the deadline for important commitments.

In school, Juanita enjoyed having an advantage over Theresa when it comes to taking test. Juanita had a photographic memory. She would study minutes before a test and would always receive an “A”. On the other hand, Theresa would study a week before a test and would receive a B. As the two grew into young adults, Juanita became obsess with following in Theresa’s footsteps. When Theresa enrolled in college for Business Accounting, Juanita changed her major from Business Administration to Business Accounting. Juanita made sure each semester she took the same classes as Theresa. Juanita loved comparing their test score or bragging about not having to study as much as Theresa. After graduating from college, they both found jobs at different companies. Theresa worked for years at one company. Juanita was laid-off after six months of working. She did not care about being laid-off because she claims her boss kept harassing her for not completing assignment within the time period given. After being laid-off, Juanita worked odd jobs for short periods of time. Both women had married at an early age and was divorce with full custody of their kids by the time they were thirty-five. Juanita would move within five minutes of where ever Theresa lived. She would move just because Theresa would move.

Although they were best of friends, Juanita did not like the accolades Theresa would receive from mutual friends. Theresa always received complements for being dedicated, loyal, dependable, and professional. Theresa light was always shining bright because of her genuinely warm giving personality. Juanita would always joke when people complement Theresa, by saying it’s obvious you all do not know the real Theresa. Theresa did not like the joke but never said anything. When the jokes did not stop the complements, Juanita started lying on Theresa trying to defame her character. Theresa couldn’t understand why her best friend who is like a sister is turning against her. Theresa begins to question herself. What have I done to cause Juanita to treat me this way? We haven’t had an argument or disagreement. Am I delusional in thinking our relationship is like sisters? Did I miss something? We have been together since the age of three. I need help understanding this relationship between Juanita and myself. Theresa decided to get spiritual counseling. She made an appointment with Dr. Bernice who is a mutual friend of hers and Juanita. Dr. Bernice is a license psychologist who is the founder of a non-profit organization that counsel young girls and women. Dr. Bernice is also an ordain minister.

Dr. Bernice informed Theresa in their first counseling meeting that she had discerned the change in spiritual connection between her and Juanita approximately two years ago. She assures Theresa that she is not delusional in thinking that her and Juanita relationship was like close sisters. Theresa asked Dr. Bernice, “why did you say was like close sisters; speaking in past tense?” “Theresa, you are here because you are aware of a change in the relationship. I will guide you in finding the answers to your questions, but I will not provide an answer to your questions based on my personal observation of you and Juanita relationship. It would not be fair to Juanita since I am friends with you both.” Dr. Bernice takes a moment to pray with Theresa, asking God to open Theresa’s mind and heart in finding truth and understanding; also, to prepare and comfort her heart for what the truth reveals. After praying, Dr. Bernice informs Theresa to spend at least fifteen minutes each night before bed mediating on God’s Word and to pray for insight in understanding God’s word.

Theresa did as Dr. Bernice instructed. Five days after praying and mediating, Theresa had a dream that her and Juanita were sisters and they both were preparing a spiritual offering to give to God. Juanita gave her offering first; in her offering she repeated memorized accolades she heard other people speak to each other. In Theresa’s offering, she spoke from her heart the gratitude and appreciation she has in having and knowing the love of God. God respected Theresa and her offering; But, did not respect Juanita and her offering. Juanita was very trouble she did not receive the same respect as Theresa. God asked Juanita, why is she trouble? If you spoke from your heart, you would have received the same respect. Because you spoke words that was not from your heart but from the mouth of others shows you are disconnected from me; which in turns allows sin to lay at your door. Juanita became very angry with Theresa for receiving God’s blessing for her offering. She used her friendship with Theresa to lure her into the fields where she slew her. The Lord God came to Juanita asking her; where is thy sister? And she said; I know not. Am I my sister’s keeper? The Lord God asked; What has thy done? The voice of your sister’s blood cry out to me from the ground. Now you are cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy sister’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto you, her strength. A fugitive and a vagabond shall you be in the earth. Juanita cried out to the Lord God saying; my punishment is greater than I can bear. Everyone will see that I am a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth and will not want to be around me because I am untrustworthy; therefore, their isolation will slay me. The Lord God cover Juanita sin from public eye but not from his eyes.

Theresa is looking forward to telling Dr. Bernice about her dream in today’s counseling session. She arrives ten minutes early. “Good morning, Theresa.” “Good morning, Dr. Bernice.” “Last week you were given a homework assignment. How did it go?” “It went well Dr. Bernice. Spending alone time with God in the comfort of my room is something I have always done. However, this time was different because I used the time in God’s presence to mediate on seeing the person in the mirror, as well as, on my relationship with Juanita. Five days after spending intimate time with God, I had a dream.” Theresa tells Dr. Bernice about the dream. “Wow Theresa,” replied Dr. Bernice; “I can see you were in direct communication with God. God speaks to us, his children, in many ways. One way is in dreams. What revelation did you get from the dream?” “To summarize what I received; the person I love and come to know as my best friend and sister has a spirit of jealousy. No one was exempt from the spirit of jealousy that operated from within her. It was more prevalent in visibility with me because I am the closet to her in relationship. God has asked me to forgive and to pray for her because she belongs to him. God deposit into my spirit; that the earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof; which is the world and they that dwell therein. For he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the floods. Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord; or who shall stand in his holy place; he that have clean hands and a pure heart; who have not lifted up his soul unto vanity; nor sworn deceitfully? He shall receive the blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation. After hearing these words deposited into my spirit. I got up out of bed, then kneel down on my knees before God. I prayed for my sister Juanita and I asked God to help my heart to forgive; then I spoke the following words from my heart to God. Oh Lord, in you I put my trust. Never, let me be ashamed; deliver me in your righteousness; as you provide your ear to hear; speedily be my strong rock for a house of defense to save me. For you are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for your name’s sake lead me and guide me. Pull me out of the net that they have laid privately for me; for you are my strength. Into your hand, I commit my spirit whom has redeemed me; God of truth.

Dr. Bernice, in my heart I have forgiven Juanita. Her wickedness towards me no longer hurts. I can genuinely be loving and cordial with her; however, it will take some time for the level of trust I once had for her to be built again. I would need to see a genuine long-term change in her spirit.” stated Theresa. “You speak with wisdom. Every wise woman builds her house. The wisdom in the prudent woman is to understand her way. The way has been made clear. God is guiding your footsteps. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the day of your life; and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. My job here with you is complete. God has answered. Be Blessed Theresa,” replied Dr. Bernice.

Several months later, Dr. Bernice invited Theresa to share her testimony with a group of young teenagers at her non-profit who were dealing with low self-esteem due to defamation of their character by someone who proclaim to be their best friend.

Theresa started her conversation with the young ladies by introducing yourself then telling them briefly her story of character defamation at the hands of a close friend. Theresa passed out a small hand mirror to each girl in attendance. She asked each to look into the mirror until she asks them to stop. She tells them, “The bible tells us in Genesis chapter 1 verse 26-27 that God made you in his image after his likeness. So, as you are looking in that mirror you hold in your hand; I want you to understand, you are looking at the image of God. You are looking at a visual likeness of God. And everything God created in the beginning that is written in Genesis; chapter one of the bible, God declared, it was good. When God created man and female, as written in Genesis; he declared, it was very good. Anyone who attacks the looks of the person you see in that mirror, you are holding in your hand, they are attacking God the one who created you. You did not create yourself, so that person is attacking God. Our responsibility as being created in the likeness of God is to make sure our character reflects his likeness. You made lower your mirror. The bible tells us, God is a spirit and the Fruit of the Spirit is love. Therefore, God is love. Let your character emanates love in the likeness of God. Also, God is light; no darkness can comprehend the light. When light shows up; darkness has to fleet. People who hurt other people is walking in darkness; they cannot comprehend the light of God. The bible tells us in Matthew chapter 5 verse 14; that “we are the light of the world.” Do not dim your light by walking in darkness. In verse 16 of Matthew, it tells us; “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Therefore, when someone attacks you for doing the right thing, they are coming against the light that is in you; which means, they are attacking God who tells you to let your light shine. As you can see from my testimony, I learned with counseling and prayer that the battle was not mines, it was God whom the person was coming against. Therefore, I gave the battle to him in prayer and meditation. In turn, God gave me peace and joy. The person attacking you wants you to hurt because they are hurting. They are attacking you in the same areas of their life that they do not feel good about; the same areas they are hurting in. This is why God wants us to pray for them. Your prayers will help them to open their heart up to receiving healing in God so that they do not continue to walk in darkness and live a life in pain. Once they are delivered from the hurt; they will no longer pass their hurt onto other people. Be blessed.

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