Let’s talk about it…

“It’s Friday night, I do not have to get up early tomorrow; so, what is this girl to do?”  “Mom, are you talking to yourself again asked Barbie, Ruthie’s daughter.” “I can always count on me to reply with wisdom. So, why not talk to myself?” replied Ruthie. Barbie giggle as she kissed her mother on the cheek. “I’m going out with the girls to celebrate a co-worker’s birthday. Don’t wait up. I will see you in the morning” shouts Barbie as she dashes for the door. “Another Friday evening alone,” states Ruthie as she thinks out loud. “I might as well pour myself a glass of wine as I watch the ten o’clock news to see what’s going on in the world.” Forty-five minutes into the news, Ruthie can hear thunder. The weather man did not say it was going to thunder only rain, thought Ruthie. Ruthie turns off the TV, pour another glass of wine as she heads to her bedroom. As Ruthie lays in bed, staring out the window at the rain hitting the window pane, she reminisces about at time in her life when love was so sweet yet complicated. Ruthie thoughts were like looking at an old movie. She recalls in her mind the first time she met Billy.

Approximately thirty years ago, at the age of twenty-five, Ruthie was working her normal evening shift, at the community hospital, as a nurse assigned to the maturity ward. Her shift scheduled was from 3:00pm to 12 midnight. She was often asked to work an additional four hours because the hospital was short staff working the graveyard shift. During her breaks, Ruthie would often run into Dr. William Black who worked in the ER. Doctor Black would always compliment Ruthie each time he ran into her in the break room. He would tell her; she has beautiful eyes; or beautiful thick hair; or big beautiful legs; or how he loves her hour glass shape. After nearly a year of receiving compliments from Dr. Black, Ruthie would light up with a Hugh Kool-Aid smile each time she would see him approaching her. “Well, Well, Well, nurse Ruthie, so you are capable of smiling” states Dr. Black as he approached her. “Yes doctor, I am.” “You have a beautiful smile, Ruthie; I hope the next time I see you; your smile is still shining bright. It warms my heart.” We will see; states Ruthie as she heads back to work. The next day at work, Dr. Black hand Ruthie a card with his private cell phone number written on the back. He tells her to text him her phone number and the best time to call her. He expressed his interest in getting to know her better. Ruthie did as Dr. Black asked. Ruthie had noted in her text, the best time to contact her by phone is on Sunday’s and Monday’s, her off days. Dr. Black was thrilled to see Ruthie has the same off days as him. Dr. Black called Ruthie on Sunday around 4:00pm. They talked for an hour before Dr. Black asked Ruthie to have dinner with him. He offers to pick her up at 6:30 pm. After hanging up the phone, Ruthie start preparing for her date with Dr. Black. Dr. Black arrives five minutes early. Ruthie asked him to have a seat as she heads upstairs to get her purse and keys.

At dinner, Dr. Black asked Ruthie to call him Billy. He expressed to her; all his family and friends call him Billy. “I am happy to be included in the same category as family and friends,” states Ruthie with a smile. “If things continued to go as well as tonight’s dinner, you will be placed in an interpersonal category where we are the only members; replied Billy. Ruthie giggle as she whispers, “I will like that.” Because Billy has a heavy accent when he talks, Ruthie asked him his nationality. “I am Bahamian. I was born and raised in the Bahamas. I came to New York at the age of twenty-three to attend medical school. I am in my third year of residency. My plan is to open my own practice and move my family here from the Bahamas after I have completed the five-year residency requirement.” “Do you ever go back home to visit? Asked Ruthie.”  “Yes, I return home every six months for a week. My family is very patience. They are excited about our future here once I completed the residency.” Ruthie was happy for Billy and his family. She assumed his family consist of his parents and younger siblings since he is the oldest child. She never thought to ask him if he was married because he came to New York at the age of twenty-three and is was only twenty-six years of age at the time of their first dinner together.

Ruthie and Billy spend every Sunday and the first half of the day together on Mondays for the next two years. Billy was a very passionate lover. He made sure she was well pleased. She especially loved making love to him on rainy days. The rain sound like sweet harmonies of music playing in the back ground. Ruthie and Billy would lay in bed together staring out the window at the rain after they finish making love. Ruthie felt she was the luckiest girl in the world. She had a smart young doctor her age whom she felt loves her and she loved him. He was always with her on their off days from work. He catered to her every need. He always complimented her. Although they did not discuss it; Ruthie felt in her heart that Billy will ask her to marry him after he completes his residency. She would picture herself working in his private practice as the head nurse in charge. Ruthie found out she was two months pregnant shortly after Billy completed his residency. She was going to surprise Billy with the information as they discuss their future at dinner. Instead of them having their normal Sunday dinner out at a restaurant, she invited him over to her house for dinner. She found a restaurant that specialize in Caribbean food. She made sure all of Billy’s favorite dishes was catered. Billy started the conversation at dinner. He first honors her for the food and the meal choices she made. Next, he tells her how he had saved enough money to buy a house and to move his family from the Bahamas. Also, him and his family could live comfortable for six months as he establishes his own practice. Ruthie was grinning from ear to ear as Billy talked. As Billy states, he will be moving to Houston in two days to find one large house or two medium-size houses on the same lot to accommodate the size of his family. He thanks Ruthie for helping him get through a very lonely time in his life. He wished her well in her future endeavors. Wait shouts Ruthie, I’m not included in your family. “I cannot have a wife and a concubine live together in one house. My wife wouldn’t have it.” “Wife! Shouts Ruthie.” Yes, I am married states Billy with a confused look on his face. I didn’t know you were married shouts Ruthie. “I’m sure we discussed my family dynamics throughout the course of our relationship.” No, we did not. You made it appeared that you were speaking of your parents and siblings; shouts Ruthie. “Did I make it appeared that way or did you assume it was that way? Asked Billy. Ruthie was speechless, she asked Billy to leave her home. She cried herself to sleep that night. She never told him she was pregnant with their child. As she lay in her bed nearly twenty-five years later listening to the rain hit her window pane, she is wondering if she made a mistake not telling him about their daughter, and for lying to her daughter about her father dying before she was born.

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