Relationship Connections

Roommates

September 17, 2025

A trusted roommate hits on your man in front of you…. WTF!

Let’s talk about it…

Olivia’s divorce will be final in less than a month. She has no post-divorce plans. Now that the divorce hearing is over, she can divert her thoughts to where her and Jeffrey will live. Jeffrey is Olivia’s four-year-old son with her husband. Olivia was given full custody. Olivia’s husband was able to keep their family home in the divorce settlement and was given arranged visitation rights to their son. The child support awarded to Olivia is not enough to support her and Jeffrey. Olivia remembers her mom recently renovated her three-car garage into a studio apartment. The apartment has a bathroom with two small rooms. One room has a wall-to-wall closet with twin bunk beds. The other room has a small sink with a four-tier mobile shelf for storage, a mini refrigerator, a double hot plate with a microwave. Olivia knew she had to react to her thoughts quickly before her mother moves her brother out the house into the studio apartment. She calls her mom. “Hi mom, how are things going?” “Hello Olivia, all is well. How are you and Jefferey?”. “Well mom, that’s why I am calling you. Jeffrey and I will need a place to stay after the divorce is final. I was hoping that you haven’t rented out your studio apartment yet.” “Olivia, you called as I was heading to the den to talk with Junior about moving into the studio. I guess your dad and I can tolerate Junior living a little longer in the house so that you and Jefferey can move into the studio.” “Thanks mom, it will only be a temporary short stay until I can find a job and an affordable place for me and Jeffrey.” “It’s okay dear, I understand; replied, Olivia’s mom”.

Soon after moving in the studio, Olivia enrolled Jefferey into an all-day childcare school near her mom’s home. She begins her search for a job. She finds a job working for a corporation in the order processing department. Three months after working Olivia was able to move into a one-bedroom apartment near her mother. Although Olivia and Jefferey had to share the bedroom, she was so proud to have her own place. Her paycheck combined with the child support was barely enough to cover her expenses. She did not have room for any expense outside of her normal monthly expenditures. Which meant, on weekends, Jefferey and Olivia took advantage of activities that were free. They would spend time at the park, beach, library, free exhibitions, and museums. Olivia’s co-worker Janice works in the billing department. Janice have noticed Olivia sitting alone at lunch for months and decided to introduced herself. Olivia and Janice become close work friends. Everyday, as they ate lunch, Janice and Olivia would spend an hour talking about everything under the sun. They would talk about their accomplishments, disappointments, kids, ex-husbands, current events and of course their jobs. Janice was also a divorce mother with one child. She lived in a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment. Unlike Olivia, Janice court appointed child support from her ex-husband was a substantial amount that covers all her expenditures including entertainment, shopping, and eating out on occasions. Janice would often invite Olivia to an event or to hang out with her and her son. Olivia always declined stating her and Jefferey have plans. One day, Janice gives Olivia an invitation to her son’s birthday party. She expressed to Olivia, “the party is a month from this coming Saturday, so no excuses, you have to come states Janice”. Olivia takes the invitation; smile, then nods her head in agreement with Janice statement. For the next month, Olivia was worry about the party. She knows that she could not afford to buy a birthday gift. She did not want to be the only parent showing up with her child and no gift. Olivia finally gains the courage to let Janice know that she could not afford to buy a gift and for this reason, she did not want to embarrass her son or herself by showing up empty handed. Olivia explained to Janice that her paycheck combined with her child support barely covers their expenses. Janice told Olivia she understands and that she wanted her to come anyway. She promises Olivia, when her son opens his gifts, they would not announce publicly who the gift was from. Instead, they would acknowledge in private with a thank you card. Olivia felt better and decided to come.

The next week after the birthday party, Janice asked Olivia during lunch if she could call her that evening around 7 pm to talk about a matter that was pressing on her heart but was not for public ears. Sure, states Olivia. I am looking forward to your call. As promise, Janice calls Olivia at 7 pm. She started the conversation by saying; “I have known you long enough to skip the small talk, and I hope you do not see my suggestion as a sympathy offer. I would like to know if you would like to roommate with me and my son. As you know, I have a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment. Our sons are young enough to share a room with us. I will charge you one third of what you are paying in rent now. This way you can save your money or just have a little extra to do somethings that you could not do before. It would not hurt my feelings if you declined this offer. We will continue to be friends. It would be a joy for me and my son to have you and Jeffrey as our roommate.” Olivia asked if she could think about it for a couple of day. Sure, states Janice. A week after the phone call, Olivia agreed to become Janice roommate. She asked Janice if they could put their agreement in writing. The two ladies got together after work to detail the logistics of the arrangement. Each person signed the agreement. Janice and Olivia enjoyed being roommates. They were able to take the kids together to amusement parks, movies, and weekend cruises. Everything was going well until Olivia started dating a supervisor who worked in the warehouse at the company. Olivia noticed that each time she mentions David’s name, Janice would frown or become agitated. Janice would never engage in a conversation about David. She wouldn’t say his name. Olivia was very confused as to why Janice was behaving so strangely about David. Olivia thought to herself, Janice cannot be jealous of me dating because she is also dating someone. She never mentions if David have crossed her in a bad way at work in the past. Or if she knows some disturbing information about him. Olivia did not know how to approach Janice about the situation. She did not want things to become worse or for it to appear she was accusing Janice of some wrongdoing. Olivia thought she would remain silent about the situation until the right moment presences itself. Friday morning, Janice informed Olivia that her and her son would be spending the weekend at her mom’s house. She explained that their clothes were pack, and they would be going to her mom’s immediately after work. Okay states Olivia, enjoy your visit. Olivia thought to herself, what am I going to do this weekend. Mom is picking up Jeffrey from school to spend the weekend with her and his cousins. Well, I will find something to do; maybe I will treat myself to a day at the spa. After work, as Olivia is heading to her car, she is approached by David. “Hey you, shout David; it has been a busy day and a long work week for me. I haven’t had much time to talk with you this week. I want you to know that I have been thinking about you all week. I’m hoping we can do something together this weekend.” Olivia tells David that she will have the apartment to herself this weekend. She invited him over for dinner and a movie. David asked Olivia, “what would your roommate say about me coming over for dinner?” Olivia explains to David why it wouldn’t be a problem because she will be home alone. As promise, David shows up at 7:00pm with a bottle of wine. Olivia prepared crescent rolls, grilled chicken breast with asparagus and scallop potatoes. After eating dinner, David, and Olivia heads to the living room to talk and drink wine before turning on the movie. Just as they sat on the couch, Janice walks in the apartment alone. They were in shock. No one knew what to say, they all stared at each other. Janice broke the staring by saying I forgot something. She goes into her bedroom. Within five minutes she comes out wearing a black sexy negligee. She looks directly at David, then say in a sexy tone, “this is what you turned down; this is what your hard to catch ass have been missing.” In order to not disrespect Olivia by looking at Janice, David drops his head. Olivia was speechless, she had no clue what was going on. She did not know how to address her friend. She felt the pain in the words Janice spoke. Now she knows why Janice had changed towards her after finding out she was dating David. Janice runs back in her room crying. She changes her clothes and leaves without saying anything. David states to Olivia; “let me apologize to you for not letting you know about your roommate. When I first start working at the company a year before you came Janice would express interest in me. Her expressions of interest were a turn off for me. I thought she would be a cool person to hang out with, so I agree to exchange phone numbers with her. She started leaving provocative explicit message on my phone as well as pictures. Apparently, she thought this would excite me, causing me to want her. Had she conduct herself in a lady like manner, her and I would probably be together because she is a beautiful lady. Her aggressive explicit behavior made her look ugly in my eyes. I am not like most men. I am not attracted to that kind of behavior. She became angry when I expressed this to her.

Olivia was not sure how to approach Janice when she returned home Sunday evening. Both ladies remained silent as they avoid being in the same room as the other one. Olivia asked Janice to have lunch with her on Monday, she felt that work would be a safe place to talk about what happen without each person becoming belligerent. At lunch, Olivia asked Janice for an explanation for her actions with David. Janice refused to talk about it. Olivia ends their lunch meeting by stating to Janice; “your none compliances to our roommate agreement and refusal to provide an explanation for your actions puts me in an uncomfortable position. Therefore, I will be looking for a new place to live. I greatly appreciate you for inviting me to become your roommate and for being a good friend up until this event with David. I hope and pray that one day we can become close friends again.”

What do you think Olivia should have done? How do you think she should have handled the situation when Janice came out the room in a sexy negligee? https://thebookoflife.site
Should I Stay? Or, Should I Go?

September 10, 2025

What do you do when the representative you fell in love with changes soon after he marries you?

Let’s talk about it…

Sabrina, approaching 35 years of age in a couple of weeks, begins to reflect on her life. She thought out loud, to herself, in the privacy of her home. Yes, Sabrina was talking to herself out loud. She needed to hear herself think out loud. It made her thoughts resonated with an urgency that brought actions. Sabrina words pierced her spirit as she heard herself speak them out loud, “I have spent all my life hoping, praying, and looking for a husband. I have catered to the men I dated hoping they would see me as someone they wanted to marry. I have provided shelter, food, clothing, sex, and financial stability. Only to be left alone when I pressure them for a more committed relationship. I do not understand what I have been doing wrong? I am pretty, I am sexy, I can cook, I have a job and I do not ask them for anything. I do not get upset when they come home late, and I love sports. So, what am I doing wrong? Why do men leave when I bring up marriage after a year of being in a relationship with me?”

Sabrina decided she did not want to spend another birthday alone with her thoughts. She invited a few of her closes girl friends over to celebrate with her. She had a number of games setup to play, a menu of all her favor finger foods and a variety of drinks. Sabrina’s favor cocktail is called Tom Collins. After several hours of eating, drinking and playing games. Sabrina decided to bring the night to a close with one final game called Speak on It. The ladies were asked to take turns speaking on anything that was weighting heavy on their hearts. After the person spoke on it, the other ladies were instructed to provide up lifting encouraging remarks. Sabrina spoke on dating men who doesn’t want to marry her. The women encourage Sabrina to live a life of celibacy for six months in order to clear her emotions so that she can clearly evaluate why the men she dates isn’t looking to marry her. To commemorate her new commitment to celibacy, Sabrina removed her hair weave and decided to go natural. She asked her hair stylist for a short hair cut that complimented the shape of face and enhances her natural curls.

Sabrina was enjoying her new commitment. After two years of not catering to a man, she decided to celebrate her 37th birthday by taking a trip to the Bahamas. While shopping in one of the local novelty stores in Nassau for souvenirs, Sabrina noticed this man in a blue uniform staring at her. He wasn’t close enough for her to see the patch or badge on his uniform. After following her around the store, she decided to approach him. “Excuse me sir, but do I look like someone you know? I’m sorry stated the man, your natural beauty has me mesmerize. I didn’t realize I was staring. By the way my name is Jack. As you can see from the uniform, I am a US coast guard. I am here for a week to assist the Bahamian authorities. What is your name?” Sabrina and Jack stood in the store talking for 30 minutes. Sabrina learns that Jack also lives in Florida. Feeling comfortable talking with him, Sabrina gives Jack her phone number after he asked. Sabrina and Jack talked on the phone every day for two months before going on a date. She couldn’t believe she had opened her thoughts up to dating again. She made a vow to stay committed to her celibacy.

Jack was perfect. He open doors, pulled her chair out before she sat, shower her with gifts. Sabrina loved her new serene life and her relationship with Jack. She never engaged him in a conversation about marriage. After two years of dating, Jack asked Sabrina to marry him. Sabrina was finally planning the fairy tale wedding she has always dream of having. Sabrina couldn’t believe how blessed she was to have Jack as her husband. Five months after the honeymoon, Sabrina notice that Jack was slowly changing. He stops opening doors for her. He insists that it was her job to cook and clean the house. She did not mind doing these things but had noticed that Jack was intentionally messing up the home so that she would have to clean up behind him. He started demanding that everything is divided 50 percent, food as well as bills. If a four pack of muffins were purchased, she was only allowed to eat two; it did not matter if he had no plans of eating his two; which often was thrown in the trash weeks after purchase. At times Jack was deceitful about the cost of items, causing Sabrina to pay 60 to 70 perfects of the cost. Jack behavior towards Sabrina had changed drastically, he begins to talk to her like she was unintelligent; often stating “let me break it down for you; let me speak in a language you understand; or let me speak it slowly so maybe you can catch on to what I am saying.”

Sabrina began to despise Jack. She no longer loved her husband and couldn’t bring herself to have sex with him any longer. She noticed Jack was constantly texting on his phone and stepping outback to talk in private. She never questions him because she no longer cared. Sabrina and Jack’s debt appeared to be the only thing that was holding them together. They had a house, cars, and credit cards in both their names.

Because Jack and Sabrina had built a life together and both are now in their early forties, she often wonder, should I stay or should I go. In order to find the answer to her inner question, Sabrina would spend 30 minutes each day in a quiet-peaceful place to meditate. She is determined to protect her peace and sanity. Sabrina realizes, as a human being not having supernatural spiritual insight 24/7, she was destined to experience occasional life events that would be unforeseen prior to the experience. Also, she understands there is no way she can prevent or predict heart break, disappointment, or the actions of other people. She knows that some events, as well as people in her life are seasonal. Seasonal relationships are not long-haul relationships; they are only for a set period of time. She understands that she is in control of how the good and bad of life events affects her as a person. She is fully aware each experience can either break her or make her stronger and wiser. She understands, all things work together for the good of those who believe it would, despite how detrimental or heartbreaking the experience. Mediating has bought Sabrina to a place of inner peace and hope regardless of what is going on around her or in her life.

What do you think Sabrina should do? Should she stay or should she go?

https://thebookoflife.site
When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. What about the woman?

September 3, 2025

What does the woman receive when she is found? Is it also a good thing?

Let’s talk about it.

Stephanie Dunbar is an attracted thirty-five-year-old divorced mother with two kids. Stephanie decided to enter back into the dating world six months after her divorce was final. Trina, Stephanie’s best friend since high school tells her about this popular dating site. Following Trina’s instructions, Stephanie create an account; she uploads pictures that shows off her curvy figure. As she begins to browse the site, she couldn’t believe the large number of single, good looking, employed men that were available and willing to be visible on this dating site. She felt like a kid in a candy store without restrictions. Stephanie decided to start by showing interest in a person whose profile capture her attention. She couldn’t believe, within 2 days, ten men showed interest in meeting her. She asked Trina, “what shall I do”? Trina advised Stephanie to setup a public meeting on different days for each person she was interested in getting to know. As instructed, Stephanie selected 5 of the 10 men to meet at the local Starbucks store 1 mile from her home. For five conservative days, Stephanie arrives 15 minutes prior to the set time. She sat in her car watching people go in and out of Starbucks until it was time for her to go in. On each occasion Stephanie wasn’t sure if her date had shown up because no one entering the store looked like the profile picture on the dating site. Also, on each occasion, as Stephanie enters the store, someone waves her over in their direction. On all occasions, the person waving is sitting at a two-seat table, wearing a huge Kool-Aid smile on their face, while sipping on a drink. Not sure how to handle the situation, Stephanie approaches the person with the same pre-thought introduction. “Hi, I am Stephanie, are you…” The waver would interrupt her question by stating his name. As Stephanie sits, she has the same thought with each person, “Well, he looks like he can be related to the person on the profile; but definitely is not a perfect match to the profile picture posted online.”

Stephanie soon learns the similarity in each man. After introducing herself, she was greeted with “Well, well, well, Ms. Stephanie, you look as good in person as your profile pictures. Stephanie couldn’t help but think to herself, I wish I could say the same about you. But instead of speaking her thoughts she asked each person their name again, which in-turn wiped the smile off their face with each making similar statements. “What? You been on so many dates, you can’t remember which person you are meeting with today?” Or, “you have a short memory, did you not hear me give you my name after your introduction?” “Yes, Stephanie would reply, it’s because you do not look like your profile picture.” In an offensive tone, each man replied with; “Well, that picture was taken ten years ago; however, everybody says I still look the same.” Disappointed, Stephanie decided to give the person no more than 10 minutes of her time. Stephanie soon learns the similarity in standards of each man. No one pulled the chair out for her to sit, or offer to buy her a drink. Each answered the one question she asked the same. Stephanie asked each man, “what are you looking for in a mate?” These men were straight forward in what they expected from the woman in their life. They all wanted a woman who would have their back no matter what comes up. A woman who could bring 50 percent to the table in financials; yet be able to hold down their household 100 percent should he become in-between jobs. This woman would have to keep her “wifey duties” which were defined as: sex, appearance, cooking, cleaning, washing, running his errands and taking care of the kids.

As each man spoked their expectation, Stephanie couldn’t help but to divert her thoughts to her divorce and the reason given by her ex-husband as to why he cheated on her for the last five years of their seven-year marriage. He claims, she no longer had his back and had stop performing her “wifey duties”. Yet, he refused to give her a divorce while he was employed. As soon as he loses his job, he asked for alimony in exchange for agreeing to the divorce. Of course, the judge was not in favor of Mr. Dunbar demanding alimony in exchange for agreeing to the divorce. The judge ordered child support to be paid to Ms. Dunbar as soon as Mr. Dunbar returns to work.

Stephanie realized the only good thing she received from her marriage is her kids and wisdom on what not to settle for just to be in a relationship. She was determined to not repeat history which in-turn caused Stephanie to decline a second date after each man proudly finish defining their expectations.

In spite of her experiences, Stephanie refused to believe that all men were the same; however, she knew her acceptance of living up to her husband’s expectation had caused her aura to become toxic; thus, causing her to attract the same type of men. Stephanie understood her aura is a magnetic energy that attracts like energy of its kind. Which is known to most as kindred spirits. She knew in order to align her energy with her heart desires, she had to balance her charkas, which in-turn would change her aura. She started each day with prayer and meditation, visualizing her values and worth matching her heart’s desires. She visualizes her aura drawing her heart’s desires to her. Two weeks after daily praying and meditating, people begin to complement Stephanie; often stating she has a glow and a bubbly, pleasant spirit. Three months after daily praying and meditating, Stephanie meet Dave at a charity fundraiser. On their first date, Dave spoke of being reborn through the renewing of his mind. When Stephanie asked him to elaborate. Dave replied with. “I, now understand my mate is not my slave; we are one. She is my equal because she is flesh of my flesh; and bone of my bones. I am to cherish her, honor her; respect her; protect her and provide for her. Although we are one, she has her own identity and if she decides to work outside the home, as her equal partner, I am to share in the household chores, cooking and raising the kids.” A year after Stephanie and Dave first date, they were joined together in marriage. Dave honored his words in action.

Hopefully this short story helps in providing hope to your story. Please do not allow the toxicity of a bad experience dictate your worth; your value; or your future. Gift yourself with love. Take 15 minutes each day to vision your worth and value, in its highest esteem. Vision love pouring out of your spirit. Vision your love as strength; not to be taken advantage of in a negative way; not to be abused or misused. Walk in your strength. He that finds you, will see the beauty of your strength and will honor you as his queen not his slave.

https://thebookoflife.site
Old School Player

August 27, 2025

Martha and Robert have been married for 65 years. Both in their mid-eighties have learned to master the acceptance of each other for better or worse. Robert started courting Martha during their senior year in high school. For those younger than forty, courting is the same as dating. At the age of eighteen, after Martha became pregnant, the two got married upon the strong request of their parents in conjunction with the click of Martha’s father’s shot gun. Martha and Robert liked each other but was not in love with each other. They got married in the era of “What Love Got to Do with It;” “It’s a Family Thing”. Together Martha and Robert have 8 kids; 12 grand kids and 5 great-grand kids. Robert has 2 sons with his long-time girlfriend Bertha. Bertha and Robert have 4 grand kids and 2 great-grand kids.

Although Martha’s navigation through life has been in alignment with the changes of time, Robert hasn’t been able to move pass the late 60s, early 70s era. He no longer drives; yet he still has his 1970 deuce and a quarter also known as an Electra 225 parked in the garage. Robert would drive his power blue Convertible Buick Cadillac up and down the street back in the early 70s going nowhere. Sometimes Bertha would be in the passenger seat feeling like a queen, not caring that he never invited her to his home or asked her to marry him. In Robert youthful days, he worked in a factory assembling cars. At night, he worked as a janitor cleaning office building. Robert’s paycheck as an assembling worker went to Martha for their household. He received a five dollar per week allowance. Half his paycheck as a janitor went to Bertha the other half cover his play toys such as his Electra 225. Martha always knew about Bertha but did not care as long as Robert bought his check home to her. Martha protected their kids from Robert’s long-time affair with Bertha by moving her family to the other side of town. Martha was a dignified church going women. She raised their kids to respect elders and to value education. Martha and Robert kids all graduated from a two-year community college; some went further to graduate from a four-year university. Each married their long-time mate; found professional jobs in corporate American and sent their kids to college.

On the other side of the fence, Bertha worked full time in a cleaners and part time in a bar as a cocktail girl. Bertha kids barely finish high school. Robert Sr. being 15 years older than Bertha, loved her high energy party girl attitude. Bertha always lived in the now; not worrying about tomorrow. She raised her two sons to live in the now. Both sons did not move out of their mom’s home until they were in their mid-thirties. From their mom’s house they moved into their girlfriend’s home. Neither of the sons married their girlfriends. Bertha eldest son, Robert Jr daughter Porsha, who is now 35 years of age, gave birth 17 years ago to Robert Jr’s first grandchild. Porsha named her daughter Mercedes. Mercedes is graduating from high school. In celebration of Mercedes’ graduation her mom Porsha is throwing her a graduation party and would like for all generations of family to be present. The party will be held in the backyard of Robert Jr gated duplex apartment building. Porsha fixes the backyard up with rental chairs and tables. White Christmas lights streaming around the top of the table’s umbrellas. She set up a bar table for anyone who would like to purchase an alcoholic drink. Her cousin Capone will DJ the latest hits. Bertha is catering the food. She has been frying chicken and making spaghetti all day. Robert Jr is responsible for picking up the potato salad, dinner rolls, and cake from the local supermarket. Punch made of Hi-C and 7-up will be served to all under 21.

It’s party time, Robert Sr shows up in a power blue, three-piece polyester, bell bottom suit. His 1970 white ruffle tuxedo shirt matches his white patent leather alligator shoes. After everyone arrives, Porsha takes the mike from Capone to acknowledge and congratulate her daughter Mercedes. Everyone yodels their congratulations in unison, Porsha yells “okay DJ, let’s get this party started”. Everyone was enjoying themselves eating, drinking, and dancing. Robert Sr shows off a stack of one-dollar bills to Mercedes’s friends’ moms. Robert Sr invites the moms, to play a game. The game is call, “if you are single and you know it, raise your hand”. One mom asked the purpose of the game. Robert Sr. proudly says with a grin on his face, a monetary price is given to the raised hands. A couple of women raised their hand. Robert Sr. hands each mom whose hand was raise, five single dollar bills. The moms laughed as they walked off to mingle with the guess. Robert Sr. begins to flirt with the women who had raised their hand. From afar, Betty, one of Mercedes’s friends’ grandmothers was watching Robert Sr. She could not believe what she was seeing. Her thoughts were racing a mile per minute. She thought to herself, “why is Mother Martha’s husband at this graduation party? I know he never officially joined the church; however, he would come on occasions with his wife. Mother Martha, is a dedicated servant of the Lord who served as president over the Mother’s Board for 15 years before she retired.” As her friend, I am going to get to the bottom of why Robert Sr. is at this party making a fool of himself; and as a good Christian friend, I will report what I find out to Mother Martha.”

Betty asked one of the ladies who received 5 dollars. Why they raised their hands and why was she given money? She also wanted to know who invited the man giving away the money. Betty almost fell to her knees as the lady replied, he is Mercedes’ great-grand-father. Betty was so startled by the information she became weak; the lady grabs Betty by the arm so that she would not fall. After helping her to a sit she gave her a drink of punch. As Betty sat, her thoughts raced about Mercedes’s family. She thought to herself; “my granddaughter told me that Mercedes’s mom name is Porsha and Porsha’s father name is Robert Jr.” Betty begins to cough like she was choking on punch. Someone asked her if she was okay. “Yes”, replied Betty. No! thought Betty. Mother Martha’s husband cannot be the father of Robert Jr. Betty had to find out for sure before she took this information to Mother Martha. After regaining her strength, Betty approaches Robert Jr. “Hi Robert, I would like to thank you for inviting my grand-daughter. Although my grand-daughter is three years older than Mercedes, they are good friends. The party is really nice. Someone told me your mom is here. Is your dad here also? Yes, replied Robert Jr.; let me introduce you to my parents. Robert Jr. calls over his mom Bertha and his dad. “Mom, dad, I would like for you to meet Ms. Betty. She is one of Mercedes’s friends’ grandmothers.” Betty stares at Robert Sr. as she says hello, then proceed to say to Robert Sr directly. “You can be my friend husband identical twin.” “Oh yeah”, replied Robert. What is your friend husband’s name? Maybe we are related.” Betty replied, “His name is Robert”. Robert almost choked as he stared at Betty trying to remember if he seen her somewhere. Betty continued to talk. “My friend Martha and her husband Robert have been married for 65 years and have 8 kids together; one of whom is also name Robert Jr. I’m sure it’s not you because my friend Martha’s husband uses to worked in a factory assembling cars during the day. He had a second job at night cleaning office building as a janitor. For years, he drove a power blue Convertible Electra 225 Buick Cadillac. Bertha begins to beat on Robert Sr chest. while shouting, “all these years, I wonder why you never asked me to marry. Now I know it’s because you were already married with kids. How could you do this to me? Robert Jr, in shock, pulled his mom off his dad. He was speechless.

Why do you think Bertha never asked Robert Sr any questions about his life through-out the years of them dating? Why do you think she is so surprised about Robert Sr being married with kids? Do you think Ms. Betty is wrong in how she handled the situation?

https://thebookoflife.site
Light versus Darkness; Relationship.

August 20, 2025
Description: Light should never mimic darkness as a lesson in showing darkness its behavior.

The characteristic attributes of someone whose behavioral traits operates in darkness is: Narcissistic, Deceiver, A Cun that use cunning skills, A Liar, and A Thief. They are confident in their darkness, as well as, clever in their craftiness. They enjoy deceiving, controlling, and manipulating people.

The characteristic attribute of Light is Love. As many of you know the behavioral traits of love is: Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Meekness, Temperance, and Faith.

Let’s talk it…

My spiritual sister Dorthy called me weeks ago regarding her roommate, the wannabe HBIC. After Dorthy kids moved out the house, she decided to rent one of her bedrooms. Three bedrooms with 2 ½ baths was too much house for Dorthy, who is retired. Dorthy thought it would be nice to have some company and make some extra money. Dorthy met her roommate at a church revival that was within walking distance from her home. Dorthy’s home church is approximately a forty-minute drive from where she lives. After receiving a flyer on her door Dorthy decided to check out the local church revival. Dorthy assumed the lady she met at the revival was a member of the church she was visiting. The roommate appeared to be a very nice considerate middle-aged woman. Before becoming roommates, Dorthy would meet with the lady for lunch on Saturdays. Things were going well in the beginning with them as roommates. And, because the roommate worked from home, Dorthy allowed her to use the third bedroom as an office.

For the first three months, the roommate kept the house tidy in its proper order the way it was when she moved in. I guess the roommate was tired of playing the role of a considerate tidy person because three months after moving in Dorthy’s house the representative that Dorthy met had retired and instantly turned into a filthy lying counterfeiter. She begins to leave her breakfast and lunch dishes in the third bedroom where she worked with food still in the dishes. She would cook and leave the stove messy with seasoning and liquid spills. She would not wash the pots that she used. She would never remove outdated items of hers from the refrigerator. Her food would rot inside the refrigerator. She would touch the white kitchen cabinets and pantry doors with her messy fingers without cleaning up the mess. Her bathroom always smelled like something was dead and she never cleaned the tub or toilet. Half eaten food was left open in the pantry to rot. Whenever Dorthy would complaint, the roommate would become angry and would tell Dorthy she needs to give her time to clean. Dorthy would say her, “It has been weeks how much time do I need to give you”. The roommate would argue and yeah at Dorthy, “you want me to be like you, and I am not like you”. It got to the point where the roommate started going in Dorthy bedroom to take things in retaliation of Dorthy’s complaints. She would do this whenever Dorthy would leave to run errands. Dorthy thought she was losing her mind misplacing things. But after weeks of not finding the missing items, Dorthy decided to follow her gut feeling by putting a Ring camera in her bedroom.

The roommate went to Dorthy’s bedroom to ask her a question when she spotted the camera. She notices that a blue light would come on each time she moved in front of the camera. Even with the camera installed things kept coming up missing. Dorthy found out that the roommate was temporarily turning off the wi-fi so that the camera would not pick up her roaming into Dorthy’s room.

Dorthy decided it was time to give the roommate a dose of her own medicine by matching the roommate’s energy and behavior. I told Dorthy, matching the roommate’s behavior was allowing darkness to rule and govern her behavior. That she was expressing to Light (God) that darkness was greater. Dorthy’s actions implied that she was losing faith in Light.

I expressed to Dorthy that she cannot use the craftiness of darkness to show darkness who they are. Darkness knew who she was when she temporarily deceived you with a representative that mimic light.

Dorthy’s power was in the light. Only light can conquer darkness. I encouraged Dorothy to do the following:
1. Give her a thirty-day notice to move.
2. Play your spiritual music loud for those 30 days as you sing praises to God
3. Invite the prayer warriors over for a prayer party
4. Have an overnight shut-in prayer party, at your home, with the mother board from the church.
5. Bag up all her rotten food, put it in her room, let her know that you did not want to throw it out without her permission.
6. Invite a prayer warrior to come stay with you for a couple of weeks so that your roommate would have to use her rented bedroom only and not the third bedroom as an office.
7. Put a key lock on your bedroom door until she moves.
After following the seven steps, the roommate moved out of Dorothy’s home in the middle of the night on the 25^th day of the thirty-day notice. The roommate did not return Dorothy’s house key. Dorothy had to change the locks at her home. Changing the locks was a well worth investment.

https://thebookoflife.site
What do you do when your grown ass sons do not want you to date anyone?

August 13, 2025

Description: What in the bee’s wax is going on when sons in their thirties are crying because their mama is dating.

Ok Curtis, if you read this blog, you know your mama talks to me, I got my sister back on this one. You and your brother Pookie are wrong. I am going to stay out of it by allowing the readers to share words of wisdom about the distress you two are causing your mama.

Here is the story, my good sister friend Pat, ex-husband left her and their sons when the boys were in elementary school. We are going to call him mister; because I do not want any problems by putting mister real name on blast. Mister decided that after 12 years of marriage, he was tire of being a husband, a father, and a provider; so, his sorry butt left his family and move to another state to be with another woman and her kids. Yeah, you heard me right, he moved into another woman’s house with her and her kids. And no, not as her roommate, but as her lover. And the reason I say as her lover, because he bought her an engagement ring, and had the nerve to post it on Facebook. Until this day, they still are not married. Enough about mister and his sorry butt, because the story is about the boys.

The boy’s dad left when Curtis was ten years old and Pookie was only six years old. Pat was devastated for years after mister left her and the boys. It caused her to develop this stronghold against men. She did not trust men. In an attempt to help my sister friend, I invited her to attend a woman’s group at a nonprofit organization that was exclusively for women’s growth. This women’s group helped Pat tremendously. Eighteen months after participating in the group, Pat begins to change her way of thinking about men. She no longer boxed them all into the same category as a lying cheater who runs from their commitment and responsibility. By the time, Curtis was a senior and Pookie was a freshman in high school, Pat started casually dating. She never invited any man to her home or introduced her boys to anyone she as dating.

After Curtis graduated from high school, Pat begins to only date Jerome. Although they were getting close fast, she never invited him to her home or introduce him to her boys. Pat did not want to bring anyone she was dating around the boys because her dates were never exclusive serious relationship.

By the time, Pookie graduated from high school. Jerome was ready to take his relationship with Pat to the next level. He asked Pat for an exclusive relationship. Pat was happy to enter in an exclusive relationship with Jermone. Although Pat and Jermone were committed to each other only, she could not bring herself to invite Jermone to her home or to meet her sons. After years of being patient, Jermone decided to put his foot down. He demanded that Pat’s actions match the words she was proclaiming regarding their relationship. Jermone demand to meet Pat’s sons and to receive an invite to her home.

Pat realized Jerome had to be in love with her to put up with all the excuses and insecurities she had with bringing a man to her home. Also, she realized he is committed to making their relationship work. She knows Jermone is the one, mainly because of his patience and commitment to the relationship. Jermone wanted Pat to meet his family first to show that he is serious about their relationship. Therefore, he invited Pat to come to his family’s quarterly dinner at his parents’ house so that she could meet his siblings and his parents. Pat hit it off well with Jerome’s family right away. They felt an instant connection to each other. Jermone’s sibling asked Pat why she did not bring her sons with her to the dinner. Pat made up an excuse. She promised to bring them to the next family dinner.

As Jerome’s family next quarterly dinner was a month away, he began to pressure Pat about meeting the boys before the dinner. By this time, Pookie was twenty-seven and was working in the I.T. department for a major corporation. He was casually dating but had favor one girl over the others. Because Pookie does not have the privacy to bring a date home for an overnight visit at his mom’s house, he decided to rent his own place in close proximity to his mom’s home. Pat was looking forward to Pookie moving out so that she can now feel more comfortable about inviting Jermone to her home for overnight visits instead of always having to go to his place. At thirty-one, Curtis is living with his girlfriend and their two-year daughter.

Pat decided to take a page out of Jermone’s family book by scheduling a family dinner at her home for the boys to meet Jermone. She did not tell the boys that they would be meeting her man.

At dinner, although the boys were giving Jerome the side eye, they greeted him kindly. After eating the boys started asking Jerome a lot of questions without giving him time to answer any of the questions. Jerome had to stop them by saying “one question at a time.” At this point Pat intervened by telling the boys that her and Jermone had been dating for over eight years. Curtis turned three shades of red after his mom said that her and Jermone were in a serious exclusive relationship. Pookie yelled, “who the hell is he and where did he come from?” Pat tried to speak about her and Jerome relationship and how they met when her words choked in her throat. Suddenly, Curtis jumps up with tears in his eyes shouting “my mama isn’t dating no damn body.”

At this point, Pat knew the only way to get control of the situation was to ask Jerome to leave as she talk to her boys in private. She promised to call him later. Jerome left without saying anything. Pat was unable to have a civil adult conversation with her sons. She could not believe how immature they were behaving like toddlers having a temper tantrum. They kept telling their mom that she did not need to be dating anyone because being their mom was a full-time job, and that they did not trust any man with their mom. Pat did not know how to handle the situation with her boys. She froze. As of now with the boys living outside the home, they do not come to their mother’s home. They only talk to her over the phone. To this day, Pat must keep her sons separated from her new husband, Jerome.

https://thebookoflife.site
New Gen versus Old Gen

August 9, 2025

Description: Is it a generation gap when a daughter feels her single mom is not equipped to give relationship advice?

My cousin Betty has a daughter named Janice. Janice is twenty-five years old; she recently graduated from college approximately six months ago with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Management. Betty is my first cousin, which means Janice is my second cousin. Between graduating from high school until the time Janice made the decision to go to college, at the age of twenty, she spent two years finding herself; her words exactly. Betty allowed Janice the space to find herself without any input whatsoever from her. At the end of that two-year period, Betty could see her daughter was proudly strutting a new attitude wearing an invisible crown engraved with the words, “I am a grown ass lady”. In the words of Betty, “my daughter was wearing her crown well”. Betty felt her daughter’s new attitude and bold actions clearly implied that she had found herself. Janice was telling the world and her mama, “I don’t need no one telling me what to do, when to do it, or how to do it.” So, Betty stayed out of her daughter’s way by allowing life to become her daughter’s greatest teacher.

Three months after Janice started college, things began to shift between her and Betty. They became the best of friends. I’m thinking, in my prospective, the shift in their relationship changed because, by way of the grapevine, Janice was allegedly dating an older guy, who possibility attended the same college, around the same time Betty’s relationship of ten years ended. So therefore, I concluded that Janice new beau is the cause of her new attitude. And I say this because, Janice stopped hanging out with her friends from high school once she started college. Also, at this time, is when Janice begins to speak often about their immaturity. Janice would say, “her high school friends only substance in life was drinking, partying, and fighting”. I doubt if this new revelation came to Janice during the two years, she was laying on her mama’s couch finding herself.

Now on the flip side; you know there is always a flip side. Unbeknown to Janice, Betty was flirting with a younger guy around the same time Janice found herself. I believe the reason Betty decided to allow life to become her daughter’s greatest teacher is because she was stroking the ego of a guy ten years younger than herself. Betty and her forty-year-old guy friend were hot and heavy for about six months. She could not stop talking about him in an explicit way before he went back to his ex. As previously stated, Janice had no knowledge about her mama’s relationship with a man ten years younger. Janice moved out of her mother’s house two years after starting college. Therefore, the only relationship Janice had knowledge of, besides her dad, was the ten-year relationship her mom had with an older guy. Betty has always been a gorgeous young-looking lady with a beautiful figure. So, her dating a younger man, at the age of fifty was no surprise to me. Especially when her ten-year relationship ended become her older guy kids took over his estate due to his Alzheimer’s disease. So, it was understandable that she would date someone younger. Although, the relationship with the younger guy only lasted for six months, it softens Betty in a youthful good way. She changed her attire and her perspective on many life issues. My cousin was singing a new song.

Janice and her mom would often go shopping together. They would go out once a week to dinner. Janice begins to confide in her mom about her dating relationship. Betty would hold her opinion whenever Janice confided in her. She would allow her daughter to freely speak without judgement. Betty never asked any questions. After four years of dating Robert, Janice decided to share more personal information with her mom about who she was dating. Janice shared that she and Robert had been secretly living together for two years. This news brought clarity to Betty, as to why Janice never given her an invitation to her home. Also, it answered Betty’s question as to why Janice always suggests meeting at the restaurant when Betty would offer to pick her up. Betty mind was moving a mile per minute as Janice was talking; But, as hard as it was, she allowed her daughter to freely talk by listening without interrupting her. Let me tell you, when Janice stated that her boyfriend was forty-two, and is a single father of a seven-year-old son, that she proudly announced, she is helping her man to raise. Betty jaw hit the floor.

Betty asked her daughter how long she dated Robert before moving in with him. According to Janice, she started dating Robert at the start of her enrollment in college, and she moved in with him at the end of her sophomore year, which is when Janice moved out of her mom’s home. How did you meet Robert, Betty asked. This question allowed Janice the freedom to have girl to girl talk. Janice was thinking her mom was in girlfriend mode at this moment. Little did she know her mom had transformed into mommy knows best mode. Janice explained to her mother that Robert was the academic counselor she met with prior to selecting her courses during the enrollment period in college. Janice goes on to talk about or brag about how Robert has been working at the college for nine years as an academic counselor and as the assistant director of the financial aid department. She tells her mom; Robert job is the reason she had to keep their relationship a secret and now that she has graduated, she is allowed to invite family to visit the home she share with Robert. Janice further expresses to her mother that she needs to continue to keep her relationship with Robert private from her friends. Janice proudly declared that her and Robert have put together a five-year planned for their future. They will get married in five years and in the meantime, she is to start her business management company helping entrepreneurs set up their business. And by no means is she allowed to get pregnant until she and Robert have been married for at least year. Also, Janice expresses it is her responsibility to care for Robert’s son.

After Janice paused from talking about her and Robert future; Betty did not waste any time diving in with her opinion. Betty straight out tells Janice that she believes Robert is manipulating her and is using her youthfulness for his gain and convenient. Before Betty could verbally complete her thoughts, Janice jumps up from the table and proceeded to cuss out her mother, calling her mom a hater and a miserable old lady that cannot keep a man. Janice tells her mom that she was jealous of her youthfulness and of her perfect relationship with Robert, and that she doesn’t want to see her happy. Janice slowly walks out the restaurant while yelling back at her mom, “you are not equipped to give me relationship advice considering that you are without a man and hasn’t been successful in a relationship.”

Betty called me crying after she arrived home from the restaurant. For the first time I was speechless. Whew child, that was a lot to take in. How do one give uplifting advice after that? The only advice I had for Betty is to allow life to be her daughter’s greatest teacher.

https://thebookoflife.site
Lending money to a family member

August 6, 2025

Description: Should one ask for a promissory repayment note when lending money to a family member?

Raise your hand if you are a generous giver to your family. I am. Giving does not have to always be in a form of money. It can be in the form of charity with your time, psychological support, gifts, extending grace, and the list can go on and on depending on the need of the family member. The thing about family is, when one member see that you are faithfully helping another family member, many times instead of saying “thank you for helping that member, because God knows I do not have the time nor the funds to help,” instead they think of ways to include themselves as a recipient of your generosity.

Now here is how this story goes: Cousin Paul and his two siblings say that they are very grateful to Cousin Grace for the help she is giving to their mother. Yet, their gratefulness is only executed by way of lip service, because their actions say otherwise. It is not that Grace is expecting or asking them to show their gratefulness in actions. She is tired of them acting like her generosity towards their mother is an implied contract for the family to use her for their personal financial responsibilities. Every month they are asking Grace for money.

Paul is always asking Grace to pay for the repairs of his car, which happens to break down monthly. Paul’s sister Betty is constantly asking Grace to buy her kids school shoes or for money to get her husband’s work clothes out the cleaners. Paul and Betty oldest brother Junior is always running out of cigarette money. Every time Grace says yes to one request it is follow with the same or a different financial request the next month.

After years of helping our aunt and her kids financially, Grace finally put her thinking cap on and begin to see that our cousins were taking advantage of the generosity she freely gives to their mother, our aunt. However, instead of verbally saying no to our cousins, Grace decided she would usher our cousins’ request for help in the direction of another family member (Me). So, when Paul asked Grace if she could cosign for him a new car. She tells Paul to call Cousin Rose for assistance. Yes, you heard me right. She tells Paul to call me, like I am the bank of fools. This dude calls me like he had been given a guaranteed certificate of deposit, that had reached its full term, and he was ready to cash it in, from the bank of fools, in hope of purchasing a new car. Here is what gets me, I never received a call from Grace informing me about the conversation she had with Paul or her decision to rescind the financial help she graciously gave to our aunt and cousins or to give me a heads up that she had implied that I would help them. Instead, she had butthead (Paul) give me a call; and he had the nerve to talk to me like I stole his money, after I tell him that I am not cosigning or giving any money towards a new car for him. Let me tell you, I thank God for the new me. I was so proud of myself for not cussing when he became irate and cussed at me; instead, I blocked his number. Paul had the nerve to call my oldest son to tell him that I had blocked his number and that I was reneging on cosigning on the purchase of a new car for him.

Instead of my son calling me to find out the truth, he calls me to complaint about me promising to cosign for Paul, when he, per his words, is the one who needs a new car for work. When I tell my son that I did not promise to cosign for Paul, my son asked me if I could cosign for him a new car or if he could borrow ten thousand from me to purchase a small economy car for fourteen thousand. My son says that he is tired of him and his wife having to share the minivan.

My son further tells me that he has five thousand in his saving account and that he has a lot of money invested in Bit coins therefore he would be able to pay me back with interest once the Bit coins pay off. Now this is the same son that I help years ago by cosigning for his first car. He did well in paying back his car loan for the first three years of his four-year contract. However, that fourth year was on me. To keep my credit in good standing, I had to pay my son car note, insurance and a thousand dollars in delinquent tickets to register the car. My son promised to pay me back once he got back on his feet. Ask me did I get my money back; of course Not.

Now my son is willing to give me a promissory note of repayment. I think I am going to send my son to Cousin Grace for a loan. He can give her a promissory note. One good diversion deserves another. Grace, he’s coming your way.

https://thebookoflife.site

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