The elaboration of relationship connections

  • Opening Your Legs to A Married Man; Then Calling it Blessed.

    I’m not judging; just fruit inspecting.

    Let’s talk it…

    “This is it!” shouts Patricia, who is known as Pat for short; “I am so tired of meeting and dating guys who do not have any money and is always looking for the women to pay half the check every time we go out to eat. I vow to put me first regardless of what anyone thinks of me. I vow to go after what I want at any cost.” Frustrated, Patricia calls her best friend Barbie to vent her anger. “Hey Barbie, what’s up girl?” “Hey, Pat, nothing much. What are you up to? You sound upset.” “Girl, I am going to break up with John.” “So, another one bites the dust, you are dropping them like they are hot. What happen this time? Why are you breaking up with John? He is good for you.” “Why would you think he is good for me?” “Well, you both are 25 years old and do not have any kids. You both have the same interest in sports, entertainment and you both work in the hospital.” “Barbie, John, and I are so different when it comes to finances. He asks me to Cash App him my portion of the bill every time we go out to eat and whenever we purchase tickets to attend sport events, concerts or to see a movie.” “I hear you Pat, but take it from me; I am ten years your senior. Sometimes, you must hang in there with your significant other when you both are freshly finding your way in life. You two graduated from college only three years ago and you both have only been employed for a couple of years. Give him a chance to work his way up the ladder before you criticize him for not being a provider. Keep in mind, he is not your husband; you do not have kids together and he makes only a couple of dollars per hour more than you.” “Barbie, are you not the same person who told me how a man starts the relationship sets a foundation towards how it would end up.” “Yes, I did say that; however, there is always an exception to the rule and I think John is this exception. He is a good man. Besides, have you two discuss your future endeavors as far as marriage and the responsibility of each person in the marriage?” “No Barbie, it is too soon for that type of conversation. I do not think John and I would ever have that conversation; because, I am not looking to marry him. He does not make enough money for me and he is cheap.” “Pat, are you judging John based on your interpretation of what is a man?” “I am not judging; I am fruit inspecting. His tree is bare and is not producing much fruit.” “Okay Pat, on that note; I am shouting Uncle! I give up. Anyway, I would like to invite you and John to my fifth-year anniversary party. It will be in 2 1/2 weeks. The invitations will be mailed tomorrow.” “Thanks for the heads up. I will let John know. I will talk with you later. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

    As both ladies hang up the phone, Pat thinks out loud; well back to my thoughts on self-vows. Suddenly, Pat’s thoughts shift to Barbie’s party. She realized it is a great possibility that Barbie’s husband would invite some of his friends as well as some of his business partners. Pat begins to think out loud again. “It would be good to meet someone exactly like Barbie’s husband. He is a good-looking man for his age. I think Barbie said, he is 40ish. He owns several businesses and he is a good provider. Barbie do not have to do anything but look pretty. His Nigerian accent is a little too heavy for me; however, his giving heart speaks loud and clear.” Pat decided she would go solo to the party. She did not need John there intercepting any passes that might come her way. She was ready to find a rich African man. Pat went shopping to find the perfect outfit for the party. Pat, thinking out loud once again; “The outfit has to be sexy and revealing just enough flesh to arouse curiosity.” Pat purchases a sexy, tight red dress. She could not wait until the party. Pat and John had previously planned to have dinner after the movie on Saturday. She felt this would be the perfect time to put things on hold with John while she pursues her idea man.

    John makes small talk at dinner by asking Pat her thoughts on the movie. Pat was slow to speak. Normally, she would be the one engaging John into conversation about the movies they watch. John noticed that Pat was distracted in her thoughts; her body was presence, but her mind was obviously somewhere else. John breaks the awkwardness of Pat’s silence by saying, “a penny for your thoughts.” Pat thought to herself before speaking; that is the problem, your ass is cheap as hell, talking about a penny for my thoughts. “John, I need to discuss a very sensitive serious issue with you.” “Okay, what is it?” “I think we should put our relationship on hold to focus more on our careers. We both are in our prime at the hospital. You are working in two capacities; part-time as an X-ray technician and part-time as respiratory therapist. We both are paid at the lowest rate on the scale for our professions because we are newly out of school without any previous experiences. Besides, as a LVN nurse, I would like to further my education to become a Registered nurse.” “I understand states John. When do you want this brake to begin?” “I think it should start after this weekend. On Monday, I would like to start looking into a Register Nurse program.”

    Pat shows up at Barbie’s anniversary party ready to mingle. She is a lady on a mission. She walks around the party looking for familiar faces. She notices Barbie and her husband are on the other end of the room. As she walks towards them, she is looking around to see if any African men are present at the party. Barbie greeted Pat with a hug. “Pat, you remember my husband Akin.” “Yes, happy anniversary Akin”, states Pat as she hugs him. Akin, couldn’t speak as he stares at the red dress Pat was wearing. Barbie breaks the silence by pointing out to Pat the area where she can get a drink before dinner. Barbie asked Pat, where is John. We will talk about it at another time replied Pat. Pat begins to walk in the direction pointed out by Barbie. She noticed; Pat’s husband was watching her as she walked away. Unfortunately, Pat did not find any rich African men at the party. She thought about trying an app dating site for meeting professional African men. Barbie calls Pat the week following her party. She was upset and felt Pat owes her an ear to vent. “Hey Pat, are you busy.” “No, I was getting ready to sign up on this dating site; it can wait.” “This time, I am calling you to vent.” “Ok Barbie, let me give you my undivided attention, you never call me to vent. This must be serious.” “It is, stating Barbie. Akin and I are having problems in our marriage. I never talked about it because I thought things would get better as we celebrated making it to five years of marriage; but the party made it worse.” “How so asked Pat.” “Well, our problem began two years after we were married. Akin asked me to give him a son to carry on his name and legacy. I have tried to get pregnant on my own and with IVF; but my womb does not hold the embryo more than two months. Akin has stopped being intimate with me. I was going to talk to him about finding a surrogate when he asked me to leave our home. He gave me the keys to one of his rental homes then told me, he will have my things delivery in two days.” “Wow Barbie, I am sorry to hear this. I pray all work out for you. You know I am not the voice of reason or wisdom. I will keep you in my prayers. Give me a call once you get settle into the home Akin gave to you so I can come to check on you.” “Will do Pat. I will talk to you later.” Immediately after hanging up from Barbie, Pat searched on Instagram for Akin. She finds him; then preceded to send him a DM letting him know that she was sorry to hear that his marriage is over; but she wanted him to know that she is here for him and that she cares about his happiness and legacy. She further expressed, if he needed anyone to talk with, she was available day or night. She gives him her personal phone number and ended with I do house calls. Three days after receiving Pat’s DM, Akin text her to request a house call. Within an hour, Pat shows up at Akin home wearing a sexy tight body jump suit with six-inch heels. Pat had stop taking birth control after breaking up with John. Her and Akin became intimate that evening. Pat blocks Barbie number in her phone as she continued to have an intimate relationship with her husband. Six weeks after sleeping with Akin, Pat finds out she is pregnant. Akin moves Pat into his home and forbids her to work. He does not want her to be under any stress as she carries his child. Pat wants to celebrate with a gender reveal party so she can invite all her friends and family. Pat asked Akin when is he planning on divorcing Barbie. After you give birth states Akin, I do not want any stress during this pregnancy. After everyone enjoy themselves with food, drinks, and entertainment, it was time to reveal the sex of the baby. Pat comes to the podium to speak as Akin waits for her cue to pull the string for the balloons to fall from the huge black bag holding them in the ceiling. “Hello everyone, thank you all for coming to celebrate with us. I am so blessed to have this good man in my life. God is still in the blessing business. Akin and I are having our first child in life as a couple. I would often hear the church mothers say that God will give you double for your trouble. Well, God has given me double. Akin, you and I are pregnant with twins. Akin could not believe what he was hearing. Pat had kept this information from him so that she could surprise him at the gender reveal party. Akin accidentally pulls the string as he rushes over to Pat to hug her. The proud couple is having twin boys.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  • Anger Caused Me to Black Out

    “Good morning, Lisa. You are early for your appointment” “Hello, Doctor Ruth. I could not sleep last night. Because I am your first appointment for the day, I decided to come in earlier than my appointment time in fear of falling to sleep and missing my appointment” “Ok Lisa, why the long face? I thought you enjoyed our weekly counseling sessions.” “I am sorry Dr. Ruth, it’s not you. I had another incident this past week and I am disappointed in myself. I was so proud of the progress I had made before this incident.” “Have a sit Lisa, let me get you a cup of coffee and we will start our session as soon as I return a couple of phone calls. I promise we will start at your appointment time” “Ok Dr. Ruth, thank you.”

    Lisa is a thirty-year-old single woman without kids. As she waits for her appointment with Dr. Ruth to start, she thinks back on her childhood. Lisa’s parents married at a young age because her mother was pregnant. Her dad was an excellent provider. At the age of eighteen, he got a job working in an automotive repair shop. He would drop off and pick up customers who cars were in the shop for repair. Also, he would keep the shop clean as the mechanics worked. On occasion, he would make a run for the shop owner picking up parts. The shop owner encouraged Lisa’s father Russell to go to trade school to become a certified mechanic. When Russell shared with Lisa’s mother his plans to go to school, she was supportive. Russell reminded his wife Joyce, going to school at night meant he would be away from home longer. Joyce understood the sacrifice would pay-off once he completed school. After Lisa’s father became a certified mechanic, his boss promoted him to a mechanic position. Within two years Russell became the top mechanic. This was great news for Lisa’s mom Joyce, because their family was growing.

    Ten years and three kids later, Russell has saved enough money to open his first automotive shop. The stress of being a business owner started after Russell opens his third automotive shop. He started to drink every evening after work to relax. The fights begin when Lisa was eight years old. Her dad would drink then argue with her mother for having so many kids that he had to spend his life working to feed everyone. The fights would be so intense that the police were called by neighbors on several occasions. Lisa’s mom would pass out when her dad was choking her. Lisa spent her childhood in fear of her dad. She loved both her parents but was so fearful of her dad killing her mother. She wanted her mom to fight back; but her mother never did. She would stand there and take the beatings. Lisa grew up confused about life. She could not understand why her mother did not leave if she was not going to fight back. Lisa’s thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Ruth. “Lisa, thank you for patiently waiting until your appointment time. You can come into my office now. Let us start today’s session with the thoughts that race through your mind as you laid awoke last night.”  “Well, Dr. Ruth, as previously stated, I was proud of the progress I had made with the help of counseling. Yesterday, I was having Sunday brunch with a few close friends. One of my friends invited someone she knew I had beef with in, the past.” “What do you mean by beef?” “Sorry Dr. Ruth, beef is slang for problem. Anyhow, I had problems with this one girl in the past. We got into an altercation when she accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend.

    My friend knows about the beef, I mean problem I have with this girl. This is why, I cannot understand why she invited her without telling me or why the girl came to a brunch that I am sure she knew I would be at.” “Lisa, why are you so sure that this girl had knowledge that you would be present at the brunch?” “Well, I assumed she knew, because I cannot see my friend not telling her that I would be there.” “Okay, so you are saying that your friend, as you call her, intentionally did not tell you that she invited someone you have a problem with; but did tell the girl you have a problem with; that you would be presence at the brunch.” “I have to think about that one Dr. Ruth; hearing you repeat back to me what I just said doesn’t make much sense to me. I guess my anger is confusing my thoughts.” “Who are you angry with?” “I am angry with my friend for inviting this girl. I am angry with the girl for coming. I am angry with me for believing my friend is my friend.” “Okay, let’s talk about this anger. When did you discovered you were angry?” “I became angry immediately after this girl arrived at the brunch. Once I found out who invited her, I became angrier.” “How soon after becoming angry did you have another incident?” “Well, I sat quietly, eating for about fifteen minutes while the ladies socialized. When my friend asked me why I wasn’t participating in conversation, I lost it.” “What do you mean by lost it?” “I Blacked Out. When I came to myself, my friend was wearing her plate of food on her head and security was loosening my hands from the grip I had around the girl’s neck.” “Were you arrested?” “Security asked my friend and the girl if they wanted to press charges against me. They were instructed that the police would have to be called if they wanted to press charges. Both said no. I was escorted out the restaurant as the other ladies were allowed to stay.” “So, there was a fifteen-minute window between you becoming angry and having an incident.” “Yes, that is correct.” “Yet, you chose to sit there hoping for what instead of getting up and walking away before the incident.” “I do not know Dr. Ruth. I do not know why I chose to sit there when I know I was angry.” “Lisa, we have discussed in previously sessions that in every past incident you had, there was always a small window between the anger you felt and the incident occurring. We always discussed that your course of action is to remove yourself from around the people or place that is causing you anger until you have a chance to calm down. Yet you chose to sit there instead of walking away.”

    “Yes, but I am telling you that I don’t know why I chose to sit there.” “Lisa, I think you do know. In order for you to articulate and use power over these incidents, you must be honest with yourself. We as human beings, first level of defense when we are called out on our wrong is to lie. Once the lie has been spoken, our pride would not allow us to admit we lied because we feel that gives the person, we lied to power over us. So, we continued to lie until we actually believe the lie, we told. We eventually get to a place where we no longer know what truth is versus what is a lie. Lies torment our spirit, this is why we do not have any peace when we lie. It is truth that sets us free. When we can stand before a person and tell the truth, especially after lying we gain power and peace. We are no longer condemned by the lie regardless of how much that person we lied to tries to make us feel condemned. There is a feeling of freedom and peace that surpasses all understanding when we tell the truth. The thing we do not realize is that most times people can tell when we are lying. But we think if we stick to the lie, eventually the person we lied to would start to believe the lie and would feel bad for not believing us in the beginning. It is amazing how the prideful human defense mechanism wants someone else to feel bad for not initially believing a lie told to them. We wrestle within ourselves when we hold on to a lie. Lisa, I want you to set yourself free. I cannot do it for you. So, when you are ready to truthfully answer my question then and only then can I help you.  So let me ask you once again; you chose to sit there hoping for what instead of getting up and walking away before the incident.” “Dr. Ruth, I needed an excuse to do what I was thinking when I learned that my so-called best friend invited this girl to brunch without telling me. I felt like slapping the shit out of her and this girl. I knew it would be a matter of time before one of them say something that would trigger me and the incident would take over. I knew the black outs would clear me of any intentionally wrongdoing especially since I am under a doctor’s care.” “Lisa, now you are on the path to truly healing from past hurt and pain; and to gaining victory over the black outs so that no one else is hurt by them.”

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  • Sparing the Rod of Wisdom will Spoil the Child

    A wise attitude, belief, or course of action is the navigation to common sense.

    Webster dictionary defines Spare as “to refrain from: to avoid; to exempt from something.” It defines Rod as “punishment;” and Spoil is defined as “to damaged seriously or to impair the quality or the effect of. Also, to lose valuable or useful qualities as a result of decay.”

    Let’s talk about it…

    “Good morning doctor Young.” “Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Agate, today we will find out the gender of your babies. As previously stated, you are having fraternal twins, which means it’s a possibility that your babies may be of the same sex or different sexes. This is due to the fertilization of two separate eggs.” Doctor Young asked his nurse to setup the ultrasound equipment as Mrs. Agate undress from the waist down. As doctor Young describes and point out the twins features on the machine, he prints a copy of the ultrasound results. The proud parents are happy to hear they are having a boy and a girl.  Bobby and Pearl were so happy with the news, they took the rest of the day off work to celebrate. They would prefer to celebrate at their favorite restaurant but thought it would be best if they order food for delivery; so that they could plan the gender reveal party as well as discuss parenting do’s and don’ts.

    Bobby comes from a strict upbringing. As he puts it; he was forced to go to church all day on Sundays and to bible study every Wednesday night. His summers were spent at the church day camp for kids. He recalls, often receiving direct orders on what he was not allowed to do without any explanation other than his parents stating, “those are the things of the devil.” As a child, Bobby often wonders why all the things forbidden by his parents and label as the things of the devil appeared to be so much fun to the neighborhood kids. He watched the kids in his neighborhood play at the park chasing each other, tossing a ball back and forth to each other, swim on hot days, play sports and go to other kids’ birthday parties. Bobby was taught to not question his elders, but to do as he was told. The grownups in his church would often say; as God’s children, we are not allowed to question him; we are only to follow the principles of the bible. For this reason, kids were not allowed to question their elders; only do as they were told. Bobby grew up following principles but lacking understanding. On the other hand, Bobby’s wife Pearl grows up opposite of him.

    Pearl went to church with her family every Sunday for one service only. Her family would pray together every morning. She was allowed to play at the park, go to other kids’ birthday parties and swim at the local YMCA on hot days. Her parents were teachers; they believed in communication and therefore would take time to explain things or provide explanations for their decisions. They would give their kid scenarios as an example to why something was good for them or bad for them. They spoke using terminology that was within the scope of their kids understanding.

    As Bobby and Pearl ate dinner, they wrote down the plans for their gender reveal party. They could not come to a command ground on the principles of how to raise their children. They both agreed to raise their kids believing in God and understanding the power of prayer. However, Bobby did not want restrictions. He feels the kids should be allowed to experience life without restrictions. Pearl feels limited restrictions is okay with explanations and scenarios to bring understanding as to why something was prohibited. Pearl agreed to allow Bobby to raise their son using his principles as she raises their daughter using the principles from her upbringing. The twins were born healthy. Bobby Jr was born weighting six pounds nine ounces and Christina was born weighting five pounds ten ounces. They were close through-out their childhood. They would often talk to each other sharing information about their friends or activities they were participating in. Christina noticed that her brother was not guided by the same principles as herself. Three months before turning eighteen, she questions her mother about the double standard, as to why Bobby Jr was allowed to experience life without restrictions. Pearl made hot chocolate and place a few short bread cookies on a serving plate, as her and Christina sits down to have a heart-to-heart conversation regarding the decision her and Bobby Sr made concerning the principles’ used in raising her and her brother. Now that Christina understands the difference in principles use to raise them, she asked her mother would it be okay if she advised her brother based on the principles she was raised on. She did not want to go against her parent’s agreement they made with each other years ago. Pearl gave Christina her blessings.

    Bobby Jr was hanging out with his friends, drinking and partying as they race their cars up and down the streets near the beach one Saturday night. Bobby with two of his friends were arrested for drinking in public under the age of 21; also, for racing. Although Bobby was not the person behind the wheel of the car, he is the owner of the car and was in the car as his friend raced against another car. The police had both cars, in the race, impounded. Bobby called his sister to come pick him up from the police station as he was released with a citation to appear in court. Christina used the drive home time to talk with her brother about his unwise decisions. She started by telling him about the conversation she had with their mother regarding the double standards in their up bringing. “Bobby Jr, this conversation is not to find fault in our father’s decision to allow you to experience life without restrictions. However, I believe you should have been guided with wisdom. Sharing wisdom with your child is not restricting their life experience, but it is equipping them with tools to help them make better decisions in life. We were raised believing in the power of prayer and in God. We were raised with the understanding that the bible is the only true instruction book for life. Therefore, in order to gain wisdom, we must read our bible and allow the wisdom of the bible to help us navigate through life, especially when our elders or parents is refraining from teaching us wisdom. We both know that Proverbs is known as the book of Wisdom in the bible; and it bases wisdom solidly on the love of God. In Proverbs chapter 13: verse 24; Solomon talks about sparing the rod will spoil the child. We know, to spare means to refrain from or to avoid. The Rod is speaking of discipline or punishment, and spoil is speaking of being strip of natural covering or to lose valuable or useful quality as a result of decay. So, when dad is sparing you from wisdom and discipline, he is not fully sharing the love of God with you. And his decision to not do so is causing you to decay in value. Brother, I think you need to go to dad and have a heart-to-heart conversation with him on the importance of him sharing wisdom with you. It would help you to make better life decisions that will not cause your life to decay because of him pampering you. You lack in having wise knowledge, also in the ability to discern people inner qualities and intentions, you lack in making good judgment in what is safe or not, and in a course of action for navigating with common sense when you are facing danger. Brother, I want you to bear good fruit so that you can one day teach wisdom and discipline to your future children. Your lack is guiding you in the same direction as your friend William who is now serving three years in person. Please brother have that hard conversation with dad and ask him to tell you the truth about his upbring and the reason why he chose not to raise you with restrictions and discipline. Tell dad the truth about what you have been experiencing because of the lack in knowledge on discipline.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  • Trapped by This Thing Called Love

    Not a romance novel love story

    Let’s talk about it…

    At the age of sixteen, April wanted more from life besides helping her mother with the household chores and taking care of her younger siblings. April hated being the oldest child, because it came with a great deal of responsibility. Although she is an “A” student with a 4.0 GPA each time April would talk with her mother about joining an after-school curriculum such as band, track or cheerleader, her mother would minimize the activity by telling April it has no substance or add no value to your life. April was known as a social misfit among her classmates.  April grew up in the era when computers was not a household name, she would often tell her mother, she needed to research for a school project or paper. April was allowed to go to the local library for approximately 90 minutes after school. April would go to the library two to three times a week. She would use her time at the library to read romance novels. April would often fantasize about dating a guy just like the person in the novel.

    After graduating high school, April got a part-time job at the library while attending community college. Her mother still forbids any activity outside of work and school. April knew the only way she would be able to experience life is to move out her mother’s home. At age nineteen she got a second part-time job as a cashier in a book store. April found a studio apartment near school. Her jobs were within walking distance of her apartment. April was mesmerized by this guy who would come to the book store at least once a week. He fits the profile of the person she would fantasize about while reading romance novels. Without any self-control, April would stare at the fantasy guy each time he enters the store. One day after clocking out to go home, April noticed her fantasy guy was still in the store. She did not want to leave but had no other choice because her shift was up and she did not want her co-workers to question why she was hanging around.  As she heads for the door, she noticed in her peripheral vision someone approaching her.  Upon exiting the store, she hears from a near, “excuse me miss, but do I know you? You look familiar.” As she turns around, April notice it is her fantasy man. She was so nervous she could hardly speak. She was trying to get the words out without stuttering. The fantasy man could tell she was startle by his presence; so, he begins to apologize. As he turns to walk away, April shouted “No, please do not go. Hi my name is April.” “Hi April, my name is Leo.” Leo begins to explain to April, that he had noticed each time he comes into the store, she would stare at him which led him to wonder if they had previously met. According to Leo, he did not want to appear rule because of poor memory. April could not say to him that he looks like the person in her fantasy; instead, she tells him that he looks like someone she once knew. She hated lying to him but did not want him to think she was weird. Leo looked at her ring finger before asking her if she had a boyfriend. Blushing, April says no. Leo asked April if he could take her to dinner. Inside April thoughts were shouting to the top of the mountain Yes! What came out was a soft melody; yes. April’s first date with Leo was at a $10.99 all-you-could-eat buffet on the other side of town. April did not care; she was so happy to be with Leo. As they ate, Leo asked April about herself. The more April spoke the less nervous she felt.

    Leo and April have been talking over the phone for nearly five months, with an occasional dinner at the all-you-could-eat buffet. April suddenly realizes that she did not have his phone number and each time he called her, he called from a private number; also, he did not speak above a whisper or talk longer than five to ten minutes. Leo behavior reminds April of when she lived with her mother and was under her mother’s control. Therefore, she did not want to make him uncomfortable by questioning him about his home life. One evening, rather than take April to dinner, Leo brought pizza over to April’s place for dinner. After a quick dinner, they began to make out sexually. April was made a woman that evening. She did not know how to process the emotions felt. She thought to herself, this must be what they call love. She loved what she was feeling and wanted more. She wanted Leo to wrap his arms around her afterwards and hold her. Instead, he got up went to the bathroom before heading home. Although she wanted more of him, she did not voice it verbally because she understood living in a controlled home environment, the need to return home by a certain time. Leo no longer took April on the other side of town for dinner. The routine had changed to Leo bringing pizza for dinner once a week to April’s place; with him leaving immediately after they have sex.

    One month before April’s graduation from community college, she finds out she is pregnant. Also, she had applied for a full-time administration job at the college and was waiting to hear back the results of her interview. She was hoping for good news so that she could tell Leo all the good news at once. When Leo called her that evening for their brief ten-minute conversation, she asked him could they do something special to celebrate her graduation. “What would you like to do asked Leo?” “I would like to go to a fancy restaurant for dinner replied April.” Okay, there is an Apple Bees on the other side of town near the buffet restaurant. April was excited. The next day, she was offered the position as an Administration Clerk at the college. She could now quit both her part-time jobs for a position with benefits that pays triple the amount of both part-time jobs combined. The evening after graduation, April and Leo is enjoying dinner at Apple Bees when April shares the good news with him. She started the conversation by telling him about her new position. Leo was so proud of her and expressed it to her. However, when she told him the good news of them becoming parents because she was pregnant, he almost fell out his seat. He begins to choke on his drink. Everyone in the restaurant looked in their direction as April pats him on the back trying to help the liquid pass through his system without further complications. Once he finishes coughing, April asked him if he was okay. “Hell no, shouted Leo.” April was taken back by his changed in tone and attitude. As she asked him what I did; he was shouting check please. Leo pays the bill then heads for the door without saying anything to April. She runs to keep up with him. Both were silent in the car ride home. Leo tells April to get out when he arrives at her place. April refused to get out the car until Leo tells her what she did wrong. “You got pregnant, that is what you did wrong, shouts Leo. I am married with kids; I do not need any more kids or another baby mama.” April was in shock. She did not know what to say or how to think. This was not how the stories went in the romance novels she read. Leo never called April anymore after that evening.

    Eight months later, April gives birth to a daughter. She vowed to love and care for her daughter the best she could. Leo being her first and only, she still has love for him. She named her daughter Leona. On Leona’s fifth birthday April take her to an amusement park. Heading home from the amusement park, April and Leona stop to pick up cupcakes and ice cream. As they were leaving the ice cream store, they bump into Leo. April and Leo stood facing each other without words. Leona broke the silence by asking her mother who is the man you staring at. No one Leona, let’s go home. Leo gently grabs April by her arm. Wait, he shouts in a soft tone. This is my daughter? “Mom, why this man asked if I am his daughter?” “I will talk to you about it at home Leona, after we have our cake and ice cream.” April pulled away from Leo as her and Leona walked to the car. Leo called April several times that evening. “Mama, answer your phone. Why are you not answering your phone?” Aprils go to the bathroom without answering her daughter. When the phone rings again, Leona answers it. Leo, asked who is this on the phone. “My name is Leona; what is your name?” “My name is Leo; I am your father.” “My father; why haven’t I seen you before today? My mother did not tell me I had a father” “I am sorry Leona; it is my fault you have not seen me. I want to make it up to you by asking your mother if I could come see you. Can you let your mother know that I am on the phone and I want to speak to her?” “Okay, hold on.” Leona shouts through the bathroom door. “Mom, my dad Leo is on the phone, he wants to talk to you.” “Tell him I am not home and I don’t want to talk to him.” Leo hears April telling Leona what to say. He stops her before she has a chance to repeat what her mother said. “Leona, tell your mother I will call her back another day. Bye baby, daddy is looking forward to seeing you one day soon.” “Bye, states Leona before hanging up.” April found herself crying all night as the following lyrics played in her ear.

    Somebody tell me; What has this man got; He makes me cry; When I don’t want to cry; Somebody tell me; What has this man got; He makes me lie; When I don’t want to lie; He calls me up; And I tell them to say that I’m not home; Then I cry all night; If he doesn’t call again; I’m slowly losing my ground; Slowly sinking down; Trapped by this thing they call love.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  •  Parenting Grown Kids

    How to retire from parenting when grown ass kids keep running back to mommy when it is convenient for them.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Today is move day, thought Pat as she grabs her gym bag out the closet and heads for the door. She yells upstairs to let her youngest child James’s know that she is leaving and should be back before the movers arrive. At 5:30 in the morning, James is still sleep and did not hear his mom. After an hour of working out, Pat shower at the gym before going to her favorite café for an early breakfast. She sat in the café reminiscing about when her five kids were babies. The waitress interrupts her thoughts as she served Pat’s order, a veggie omelet with hash brown and hot coffee. Pat was enjoying her meal when her phone started ringing back-to-back. As she grabs her napkin to wipe her hands before reaching into her gym bag for her phone, she counted as least 4 missed calls. Who is this calling me like the world is coming to an end thought Pat. James calls his mom again before she had a chance to return his call. As soon as Pat picks up the call, before saying hello, James shouts in a panicky tone, “Mom, where are you? The movers will be here in thirty minutes.” “James, you are the one moving, not me. Besides, I told you I was leaving this morning, replied Pat.” “Mom, you know I do not wake up before ten a.m. on the weekends. The movers will be here at 8 a.m., I was depending on you to wake me up before they arrive. If it was not for some clown racing his motorcycle down the street, I would still be sleep. Where are you anyway?” James, I am in the middle of breakfast at J’s café. “Oh, that’s the spot, bring me back a meat lover’s omelet, cheese on top with a side of hash browns and orange juice.” Okay James, I will see you shortly. “Don’t be long mom, your baby boy is hungry.” Pat shifts her thoughts back to when the kids was little. She remembers her parents telling her that she was too young to get marry at the age of nineteen. Pat was so determined to prove her parents wrong; she never asked them for help at the age of twenty-one when she became pregnant with her first child. Pat and her husband figure out life the best they could as their family grew from two to seven. The waitress interrupts Pat thoughts again as she brings the take-out order with the check. Pat goes to the front cashier to pay the check before leaving.

     When Pat arrive home the movers was just starting to load the truck. She bought them donuts from the café. James come running down the stairs shouting “Mom, what took you so long?” Pat shakes her head as she thought this will soon be over. Her thoughts flipped to how good it will be to have her garage back after all the weights, dumbbells, drum set, guitars and boxes were out. I am so glad James is taking all the furniture in his bedroom. I will turn his room into an office. No need to have three empty bedrooms. Two guest bedrooms is enough for whoever comes to visit. With all five of my kids out the house, maybe I will join a social club. I am single, fifty-five and ready to mingle. It would be good to have some friends to travel with, or attend entertainment events with.

    A few weeks after James moves out the family home, Pat’s phone rings none stop. Her kids were constantly calling to ask her to babysit their kids or to borrow money that they never pay back. Pat felt like all five of her kids were implying through actions that she was their personal assistant. It was like each child was trying to beat the other child to her time and money. As Pat was having lunch in her office her phone rings. She looks at the caller ID; it is Jesse her oldest child. Jesse is thirty-three years of age, marry with two kids. Okay thought Pat today is Wednesday, what can he be calling about. Usually, he calls on Fridays asking me to babysit his kids for the weekend. “Hello Jesse.” “Hey Mom.” “What’s wrong Jesse, you sound horrible.” “That is why I am calling you. I am not feeling well. I am taking the next two days off work and need to stay with you until I feel better.” “Jesse, why can’t your wife take care of you?” “Mom, you know Betty still work outside the home. She does not have the privilege of working from home like you; besides, she does not know how to make the chicken soup you make when we are sick. Your chicken soup always made us feel better as kids.” “Okay Jesse, I will make up the bed in your old room.” “By the way mom, Betty and I need you to babysit the kids this weekend. I need to rest after coming home from your house.” Pat hung up the phone without replying to Jesse’s request for her to babysit. Of course, Pat was not going to say no to Jesse, she just did not want him to think he was in control of her life and time.

    I am so happy it is Monday thought Pat; Jesse and his kids wore me out the last four days. I am going to be selfish with my time this weekend. Pat looks at the caller ID of her ringing phone. “What now? Thought Pat.” “Yes James.” “Dang mom, why you answer the phone like that? You are making me feel a certain kind of way.” “Sorry James, I had a long weekend with your brother Jesse’s kids.” “Oh, okay; all is forgiven mom. Look, I am calling because I need you to look over this contract for an upcoming tour as a band member for a major artist.” “Son, it sounds like you need a lawyer.” “Mom, you studied business law, why can’t you do this for me? Besides, I don’t have money to pay a lawyer right now. You know I just moved out. The money I make as a fitness trainer is just enough to cover my monthly expenses.” “Okay James, bring the contract over this evening around 6:00p.” As Pat was going over James’s contract with him, her oldest daughter Pam calls. “Hello Pam, I am here with James helping him with some paperwork. Can I call you back after he leaves?” “Mom, as the baby of the family, James is always taking your time away from the rest of your kids.” “Pam, that is not true. What is it that you need Pam?” “Why you say it like that mom? See, this is what I am saying; every time you are occupying your time with James, you treat the rest of your kids like second class citizens.” “Pam, I am sorry it sounds that way; it’s just that I am tire.” “Well let me get to it so you can get some rest by helping James. I am calling because my friends and I are going on a cruise to the Bahamas. I need to borrow six hundred dollars to pay-off the balance I owe for my share of the cruise.” “Pam, why are you going on a vacation cruise that you cannot afford? What makes you think that I have money sitting in the bank waiting for your future expenditures to come swift it away.” “Mom, I asking to borrow not give to me. You are an old school mom, so I know you have a stash of bills hidden somewhere.” “Pam, you still owe me from the last five times you had to borrow money. I cannot afford to keep letting you borrow money that you do not pay back. When do I start enjoying the fruit of my labor when all my saving is going to my grown kids?” “Wait, hold up shouts James, I don’t ask you for money mom.” “No, you don’t ask me for money James; just to buy you things that cost money.” “Well, this is not about me, so I am exiting left out of you and Pam’s conversation.” “Pam, this is the last time I will be lending you money. The bank is close after this withdrawal. Your father and I have raised you kids without any help from family. We learned how to budget our finances so that we would not become a burden on someone else. We did not assume someone else planned their finances around our needs. We understood our parents were officially retired from parenting once their grown kids moved out the house by age 21. This does not mean that we could not consult with them for advice. Once they advised, we did the work ourselves. I am going to call a family meeting this weekend. I will ask your father to be present. It is time, you 21 and over grown ass kids understand to call a doctor when you are sick and have your spouse nurse you back to health. To not spend what you do not have. To save for rainy days. To hire a babysitter from an outside agency; not your mom. I do not know if you all go to your father as much as you come to me. Either way, it must stop. I want to enjoy my live by taking vacations and hanging out with friends. I would love to be in a romantic relationship with someone again. I cannot do these things as long as I am parenting grown kids.”

    Pat finally found the strength to say no to her kids and to live out loud by posting online her enjoyment from the fruit of her labor. Ralph, a college classmate of Pat’s came across one of her postings and decided to send a direct message to her on Instagram. Pat was flabbergasted to receive a message from an old classmate. She was surprised that he recognized her after over thirty years. Pat and Ralph rekindle their friendship and eventually began to exclusively date each other.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens


     

  • Betrayal Due to Jealousy

    The shock of betrayal by a trusted friend of 30 plus years.

    Let’s talk about it…

    “Where do I go from here”; thought Ann, after receiving her divorce decree. “I did not imagine myself single with a four-year-old child, ten years after saying “I Do.” But here I am having to plan my life as a single mother, and I don’t have a clue where to start. Okay, the first thing I need to do is find an apartment for me and Junior and childcare near my job. Having to pick up Junior from childcare near his dad’s home would bring back so many good and bad memories, I care not to revisit at this time. I need to focus on the future. Okay, it’s time to put my thoughts into action.”

    Ann found a two-bedroom apartment on the other side of town in the same city where she lived with her ex-husband. Her and Junior have finally adjusted to their new norm. As a supervisor over ten employees, Ann is usually the first to arrive at work and the last to leave. She was happy Junior child care was close to the job. Her robotic routine Monday through Friday bought a sense of peace. Ann’s company was growing, which meant more work for Ann’s department. Ann and her manager agreed they need to hire a new employee in order to assist with the additional work. Finding someone with the qualification for the job was exhausting. After two-weeks of interviews Ann and her manager decided to use an outside agency to find a temp-to-hire employee. The agency highly recommended someone who was in the midst of branching outside of their family business. Ann and her manager interviewed the temp-to-hire person and agreed to give her a chance. Susie’s first day went well, as a fast learner she was able to handle her assigned work load.

    One day after leaving work, Ann noticed Susie was outside standing near the corner. Susie had clocked-out two hours prior to Ann leaving.  Ann drove up to Susie and asked her was everything okay. Susie stated she was waiting on her boyfriend who had her car. She also expressed her concerns for him not coming in time for her to pick up her kids from their after-school child care program. Ann asked Susie the location of her kid’s child care. Because it was near, Ann offers to take Susie after picking up her son. Susie is a single mother of four; all boys close in age. Ann heads home after dropping off Susie and her kids. Based on Susie’s sons apparel, Ann was happy she hired her. She felt Susie was financially stricken and hoped her pay was sufficient. Taking Susie and her boys’ home has become a weekly routine for Ann. She felt it was time to have a friend-to-friend conversation with Susie. She invited Susie and her sons over for dinner. Ann knew she needed to prepare some comfort food for Susie’s high energy boys. She needed a meal that would put them in a relax state after eating. Ann prepared fried chicken, collard greens with smoked turkey and mac-and cheese. The heavy meal worked. The boys played computer games with junior after they ate. This gave Ann time to talk with Susie. She asked Susie why do her boyfriend always have her car. Susie claims he is using it to look for a job. Susie explains that her boyfriend lives with his mother on the same street where she lives and that he is eight years younger than her. “So, he is only 20 years old”, asked Ann. “Yes, but he is very mature states Susie.” Ann learns a lot about Susie including the fact that she couldn’t cook. Susie and Ann’s friendship grew closer after the dinner. Susie begins to cling to Ann. She would confide in her about the past and present hardship in her life.  Ann felt compelled to help Susie in any way that she could. She would often invite Susie and her sons to her home for dinner. As well as treat them to amusement parks and the movies with her and junior. After years of friendship, Susie’s boys would tell people that Junior was their cousin. Susie and Ann’s work relationship begin to suffer when Susie stopped completing her assignments by the deadline. Ann could no longer cover for her. Ann talked her manager into recommending Susie for a job in a different department rather than fire her. Six months after Susie was transferred to another department, she was fire by the manager of that department. After being fire, Susie and Ann continued to be friends. When Ann moved into a house, Susie moved closer to where Ann lived.

    Ann adopts her sister’s three young kids after her sister passed away. Although Ann’s adopted kids were her nieces and nephew, the kids called her mom.  Ann and Susie would help each other with their kids. Although, Ann’s family had increased by three, she continued to treat Susie and her boys as long as she was financially able. When Ann’s financial status no longer allowed her to treat Susie, their relationship began to change. Susie became more of a distance friend. Ann was being told by mutual friends that Susie was always talking about her in a negative way. By this time, all the kids had graduated from high school, so Ann did not take to heart what people said. She felt the disconnect between her and Susie was because the kids were older and there was no need to take them to amusement parks or the movies as a group. Ann youngest adopted child became pregnant at the age of eighteen with her first child and at the age of 20 with her second child. Susie begins to spent a lot of time with Ann’s adopted kids. Although the kids were young adults, the girls would have sleep overs at Susie’s home. Ann’s oldest adopted daughter begins to mimic Susie’s personality traits by dressing inappropriate for a girl her age. The more time Ann’s adopted children spent with Susie, the less they would listen to her advice. Ann did not want to act like the jealous mom by coming against the relationship the kids had formed with Susie. Susie became obsessed with Ann’s youngest daughter kids. She would often baby sit them. Susie’s influence with Ann’s adopted kid spiral out of control with her input in how the girls dress, who they date or not date, and how they are to live their life. Ann’s oldest daughter begins to see the hold Susie had on her and her sister. Also, she became aware of all the lies Susie had talked about her adopted mom. Ann’s oldest daughter realized Susie had been poisoning her and her siblings’ thoughts with negative talk against their mom, Ann. Therefore, she no longer believed the lies Susie told her. She realized everything Susie said about her mom was not the truth. However, because the youngest daughter was in need of Susie assistance in babysitting, she remains under her control. Ann was working a full-time job and wasn’t able to babysit during the weekday. However, she spent a lot of time with her grand kids on the weekend.

    When the youngest daughter moves in with her kid’s father, Susie tried to convince her that he was not a good person. She wanted the youngest daughter to move in with her. Susie tried to use Ann to convince the youngest girl to move in with her. Susie tells Ann that the youngest daughter boyfriend was abusing her. When Susie’s plan did not work, she spent the next two years building a child endangerment case against the youngest daughter and her boyfriend. She would call child protective service weekly. Each time child protective service would do a welfare check in on the grandkids they wouldn’t find any evidence of what the caller would state. Ann had no idea this was happening behind her back. Susie would occasionally call Ann, but never told her about the calls she was making to child protective service. After two years of getting nowhere with calling child protective service, Susie befriends someone who worked in the department of children service. Susie’s friend tells her what to do in order to get the kids removed from their parents. Susie, her son, along with the son’s wife began to spy on the youngest daughter. Susie went as far as to tell Ann that the grandkids was endangered. Susie states her son and daughter in law witness the father beating up the youngest daughter outside in public and that he dragged her by the hair in the streets. Ann was upset with the news she received from Susie; she immediately contacted her daughter. Ann’s daughter denies everything Susie had said. Two days after Susie had talked with Ann, child protective service comes to the youngest daughter house as she was at the end of moving, the only things left in the apartment was trash. The youngest daughter refuses to allow child protective service in her apartment. She asked her kids to come to the door so that the worker could see that they were okay. The worker looks through the window then asked the parents why was there no furniture and why was trash all over the floor. The parents explained to the worker that they had just moved and they were in the middle of cleaning up the apartment before turning in the keys.

    The next day while unpacking at the new location, the youngest girl receives a call from the police stating that they were at their previous location with child protective service. They stated that child protective services have orders to remove the kids from their home. The police ordered the parents to bring the kids to court the next day in order to avoid kidnapping charges. The parents did as the police instructed. The grandkids were taken from their parents at court and given to Susie’s oldest son who was listed as the kid’s uncle and the only relative. The parents told the Judge that Susie’s son was not related to the kids and they have family that would take the kids. The judge asks child services to look into if there is family available to take the kids. The parents were able to get a copy of the report and charges against them. The report listed two years of calls from three different numbers claiming child endangerment. Ann, being furious about the kids being taken and given to Susie’s son the same day of court decided to call Susie to find how is this possible. Susie tried to convince Ann that she told her that she was working with a social worker to have the kids remove because they were not safe being with parents who fight publicly in the streets. Also, she tried to convince Ann that they had agreed that she and her son would be the best care providers to the kids since everyone in Ann’s family worked full time jobs and wasn’t available to take the kids. Ann and her family came together to fight against the lies told by Susie to Child Protective Service. It took two years of fighting before the kids were reunited with their family.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  • When A Man Loves a Woman

    When a man loves a woman, his life is centered around his love for her.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Andre, a single, tall, dark and handsome man is turning 40 in a month. His friends have been secretly collaborating about throwing him a party on the yacht. Jason has a large two deck yacht that he rents out for entertainment engagements. Andre along with his four friends started a social club approximately ten years ago. It’s a men only social club where members have to pay an annual fee to be part of the club. The members receive discounts when booking an engagement at one of the social club owners business facilities. The five men who started the club met 12 years ago at an entrepreneur seminar. Their stories were similar in nature. They all grew up in a poverty-stricken environment and wanted to excel higher than the limitations place on them due to their demographic profiles. The five men worked hard and wanted to invest their saving wisely, which is the reason for them attending the seminar. Only one of the men have a master’s degree in business. The other four have some college but did not graduate. After attending the seminar, the five men friendship began with the exchanging of contact information. The friends counsel and encourage each other as they became entrepreneurs.

    Andre owns two-night clubs. One is located in Miami Florida, and the other is located in Hollywood. Jason’s three yachts are located in Dana Point, Marina Del Rey, & Cape Coral, Florida. Robert owns two sports bars; one in North Hollywood, the other in downtown Los Angeles. Richard owns several mansions located in Calabasas, the Hollywood Hills and other locations in California. Brian owns a franchise with a major vacation cruise ship. Not any of the men is married. Because of their similarity in never dating anyone long enough to form an attachment, these friends are known for being a ladies’ man.

    The five friends all live in California, which lead to the decision to have the party on the yacht located in Marina Del Rey. The four friends secretly invited 50 members from their social club. They asked each of the members invited to invite at least two ladies or one lady with a plus one. They informed the invitees that no one would be allowed on the yacht without a boarding pass. Andre’s birthday is on a Tuesday, four days prior to the social club owners scheduled monthly meeting. Andre was told the meeting will be held on the yacht in Marina Del Rey. Andre was not suspicious because the club owners often will meet at one of their facilities.

    Andre arrives 45 minutes after the guest had arrived. He was surprised to see the mass number of people on the yacht. He called the owner Jason of the yacht to see if there was a change in the meeting date that he was not privy to. As Andre was on his cell phone talking to Jason, he sees his four friends walking towards him with two bottle girls holding up a huge banner with sparkling neon writing that reads “Happy 40th birthday Andre”. Andre was totally surprised and elated that his friends came together to celebrate with him in honor of his 40th birthday.

    Before dinner, everyone socialized with drinks at the open bar. Andre notices this lady standing at the bar waiting patiently as the bartender mixed drinks before pouring her a glass of wine. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He did not understand why he was so mesmerized by this woman. Andre has been a ladies’ man all his life. To Andre, women looks and shape may be different, but they are all the same. He never had a woman to smitten him or cause him to see them different from any other woman. Andre did not understand how or why people fall in love. He did not understand the purpose in being in relationship with only one person for the rest of your life when what they bring to the table is nothing different than anyone else. Andre never experiences any relationship beyond the norm which is; met a lady, occasionally go to dinner, occasionally come together for sex; then go your separate way when the arguments begin. Andre, nicknamed this norm, “the revolving door syndrome”. Here he is staring at the woman, but can’t understand Why. He describes it, within himself, as an invisible magnetic force drawing him closer. Andre decides to approach her. “Hello, my name is Andre.” “Hello Andre, my name is Beverly. So, you are the face of the name on the invitation. Happy Birthday.” “Thank you, Beverly, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Who are you here with?” “I am here alone states Beverly, I was invited by a co-worker who is one of your club members.” Andre invites Beverly to sit at his table for dinner. He was so intrigued with her; he wanted to know her better. Andre and Beverly talked for hours. Aside from the staff, they were the last two to exit the yacht. They exchanged contact information. Andre found himself calling Beverly the next day asking her to have dinner with him to continue their conversation from last night. Beverly agreed.

    Andre and Beverly spent every weekend together. He fell in love with Beverly quiet meek personality. He was surprised to hear she was a lawyer. He thought all lawyers were combative talkative people. After several months of dating Beverly, Andre asked her to be exclusively his girlfriend. He wanted to spend every free moment he had with her. He found himself thinking about her through-out the day whenever they were apart from each other. He would text her every morning to say, “Good Morning.” He would text her every day around lunch time to say, “He hopes she is enjoying her day and to have a good lunch.” He would call her every evening to talk briefly for about 15 minutes. Andre entire life was centered around his love for Beverly. He made sure she was safe as they walked down the street together. He would watch their surroundings and people; he would walk on the side of traffic to keep her safe from cars. He made sure her home was secure with cameras and alarms. Also, he made sure her car had its proper maintenance and was safe for her to drive. Andre did not understand the changed that has come over him since meeting Beverly. He tried to rationalize it within his mind. Andre would think to himself, “it’s not that her outer beauty is any greater than other women he dated. Or that her personality traits were out of the ordinary that he hasn’t experience before in another woman.  He wasn’t sure what it was; all he knows is that he was feeling something that he never felt before. He couldn’t pinpoint what that something was until one night in the midst of having sex with Beverly, he shouts “I love you” without hesitation or pre-thought. Andre couldn’t believe he broke the Bro code by telling a woman he loved her first and it wasn’t because he had reached the top of the mountain yet during sex. The next day, at work, Andre could not take his mind off the intimate evening he had with Beverly and what made him shout “I love you.” “What is happening to me, thought Andre.” “Am I becoming weak? Why is it that I am feeling what I am feeling?” Andre wanted to talk to someone to help him understand this never felt before emotion. He knew he could not talk to his boys from the social club; they would laugh at me thought Andre. He decided to man up and talk to his dad about it. After explaining the entire scenario to his dad. Andre’s father told him, “Man you are in love; it’s that simple.” “In love” shouts Andre. “Yes, His father replies. “And that’s exactly what you shouted to her in the midst of making love to her.” Dad, “I told you that we were having sex when I shouted, I Love You.” “Son, having sex is what you do when love is not involved. You have hit a pivotal milestone. You are experiencing love for the very first time with a woman.” “Dad, I’m trying to understand how I got here.” “Son, your mother will have to explain that one to you. We, as men are not emotional intellects. You don’t have to tell your mom all the details, if you know what I mean; just explain to her that you are trying to understand why you were so attracted to this woman versus other women you dated and why you told her you love her first.” Okay dad will do.

    Andre’s mother explained to him that his attraction to Beverly was not a fleshly attraction but a spiritual attraction. She told him that he is drawn to the beauty of Beverly’s aura. “Son, based on what you told me, Beverly is a spiritual woman. This is not to say she is a perfect woman. However, she understands that imperfection is in all beings and in order to not allow her blemishes to guide her through life, she understands the important of keeping herself spiritual grounded. Spiritual people are not quick to speak negativity because they are having a bad day or cuss someone out because they deserve it or wish evil doing upon someone because they are jealous. Spiritual people, live and let live. Their focus is on personal spiritual growth not on judging other people. When a person is spiritual grounded, they release a spiritual energy that encompass their entire being which is known as their aura. Beverly’s subjective sensation of invisible light attracted your energy. In other words, your energy was attracted to her energy. Beverly is obviously a woman who spend time, in private, praying and meditating on the fruit of the spirit which is Love. When one live in the spirit of love, so shall they walk in the spirit of love. Son, I encourage you to embrace rather than question; because for most people true love only comes once.”

    Ladies, you have the power within your natural beauty to attract a man; the question is, do you want to attract a man who is lusting after you or who have the proclivity to love you by walking in the spirit of love. Trust and believe not everyman who says I love you is walking in the spirit of love, if they cuss you out privately and publicly, and only takes the fruit of your labor and not share their fruit with you, and does not have your back; but is always looking for you to have their back, and does not care about your safety or if they are taking food out of your child’s mouth without providing a meal.  If this is the case, change how you attract a man. Spend time mediating on the fruit of the spirit until it cleanses your aura. Remember, Love is joy, it’s peaceful, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, and meekness. You deserve true love. Peace!

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  •  Intimidated by My Wife

    Men who feel they hold the switch to when and how their wife use knowledge.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Josephine, a single attracted woman in her early thirties, occupies her leisure time with reading, going to seminars, taking training classes, and looking at “how to fix or build” programs on TV. She loves learning beyond her Bachelor degree in Business. She is a license Real Estate Agent. She has a certificate in Tax Preparation from one of the largest Income Tax Preparation Agency. She loves to put together furniture that is deliver in a box in pieces. She loves to cook and decorate. She likes when things are neat, organize and clean. Josephine feels she can think clearer when her surroundings is clean and orderly. Josephine is a very humble and meek person. She was raised by a mother who received her GED when she was in her late thirties. Yet her mother held a sit on the board at the local community health center for low-income people. Her mother had a non-profit organization that helped low-income people fight against discrimination due to financial status. Josephine’s mother felt that all people should have a right to good health care and education regardless of where they lived or the amount of money they have or not have in the bank. Despite the lack in institutional education, Josephine mother was an overachiever.  Josephine mother achievements inspired her.

    Josephine is an easy-going type of person. She never judges anyone based on their financial status, their education, or their speech. She understands, there is a lot of skillful, smart people without a college education and there is a lot of educated people without money. When Josephine met her husband Bobby, he was wearing a plain uniform. She knew Bobby had a job but did not ask him what type of job. She knew he lives alone in an apartment; but did not ask in what area did he live. She was more interested in getting to know Bobby’s personality traits. Josephine loves Bobby gentle warm smile. He would call her everyday only to say hi. He would invite her on a date every Saturday. Many times, they would spend Saturday’s going to the movies and dinner. Sometimes they would go to concerts, exhibitions, and museums. Bobby was the perfect gentleman. He always opens doors for Josephine and never allowed her to pay for anything. Sometimes Josephine would cook at home to not feel guilty about all the money Bobby was spending on their dates. After a year of dating, Bobby invited Josephine to his home for dinner. He wanted to show off his culinary skills. Josephine was impressed with Bobby’s cooking skills. She was extremely impressed that his apartment was clean. Bobby and Josephine married 18 months after dating. Josephine loved Bobby’s huge size rooms in his apartment, she decided to move into his apartment with him after they got marry. Immediately after moving into Bobby’s apartment, he asked Josephine to pay 50 percent of the rent and monthly bills. Prior to marriage, whenever Josephine would ask Bobby about their financial arrangement after they get marry; Bobby would say, do not worry about it. You know I got you. Although Bobby knows how to cook, He feels Josephine should prepared dinner every day but did not say anything about who is responsible for buying the groceries. Once again, Josephine asked about putting together a financial and household duties agreement. Her request was totally ignored by Bobby. Josephine decided it was best if she comes up with an agreement for them to discussed. Especially since she would be the one cooking, cleaning, and shopping for the household. She agreed to pay half the rent but felt Bobby should continue to pay the monthly utilities, purchase his personal hygiene items as well as contribute to the household cleaning supplies and groceries. Bobby was not happy but agreed. After marriage the couple no longer went on dates. Whenever Josephine would ask about having a date night, Bobby insist only if the bill was split 50 percent. Josephine agreed to split the bill on date nights.

    Josephine was a very clean person and she thought Bobby was as well before they got marry. However, after saying “I Do”, she realized Bobby was not very clean. He would leave his clothes on the floor, and paper work was all over the house. He would waste food and liquids on the floor without cleaning it up.  He stopped opening doors and start giving her chores of what he expected to be done each day. Josephine worked a full-time job; yet, Bobby expected her to immediately come home after work to clean up behind him and cook dinner, so that when he arrives home, he could relax in a clean home with a hot meal.

     Josephine was very skilled in reading and interpreting contracts. She was very skilled in finances and would often make sure before signing on the dotted line that the contract was beneficial to their financial good. Bobby on the other hand would sign documents without reading just to get what he wanted. Bobby would get anger at Josephine for wanting to take time to dissect the contract for errors before signing. Often, Josephine would find an error in the contract. Bobby would be happy that Josephine saved them money; yet he would get anger at her because he felt she made him looked less knowledgeable in front of people. Bobby was not computer savvy and often would demand Josephine to stop what she was doing to come help him. However, whenever a visitor was at their home and Bobby had a computer problem or an issue with streaming a movie, he would become agitated and upset when Josephine automatically came to his rescue to fix the problem in front of the guest.

    During the purchase of their new house, Bobby got upset with Josephine for asking a lot of questions and for carefully reviewing the documents. He accused her of intentionally trying to make him look bad in front of people. He tells her that he is the man and the head of their household and her job was to remain silent until a question was asked of her. Josephine was silent as her husband spoke his demands. However, although she did not agree with him, she chose not to express her thoughts.

     Josehine would often hear Bobby on the phone bragging and taking credit for things that she had done; such as preparing and filing their taxes every year. Whenever Bobby’s friends would call him regarding income tax issues, he would ask Josephine then relay the message to his friends. Super bowl Sunday was coming up in a week. Bobby decided to invite his friends over to watch the game on his new 75-inch TV with surround sounds. After the game, one of Bobby’s friends asked him an income tax question regarding filing as a newly married man. The friend wanted to file his taxes separate from his wife; but his wife wanted to file together as a marry couple. Bobby’s friend wanted to know the benefits of filing separate versus filing marry. Because Bobby did not want to ask Josephine in front of his friends, he gave his friend a guess-at-it-answer. Josephine overheard Bobby’s reply to his friend and was disappointed that her husband gave fraudulent information that could cost a substantial decrease in refund to the friend. Josephine decided to intercede in the most respectful way she could. She started by saying to Bobby, “Honey, remember the financial benefits for the tax status “Marry filing Separate is totally different from Marry filing jointly”. I think it would be more beneficial for your friend if he files with his wife as a Marry couple; his tax preparer would know best. After Bobby’s friends left, he harshly reprimanded Josephine for interfering in his conversation. Josephine decided to stand up for herself. She spoke back to her husband in a monotone firm voice. “I am tired of you treating me like I do not matter in this relationship. You knew of my skills and interest in learning when we got marry. If you felt you would be intimidated by my knowledge, you shouldn’t have married me. Why must I decrease for you to increase as a man in charge of his household. You should be proud to tell people that you married an intelligent knowledgeable woman. Your proudness would have shown the unity of us as one and would have automatically increase your status as a man. People judge many times on the company we keep as well as the person we marry. Because I take your degrading disrespectful treatment without standing up for myself; My friends see me as a batter woman who must have low self-esteem. I am not a light switch under your control to switch on and off for knowledge only when it is to benefit you. If you do not change your disrespectful treatment towards me, I am leaving this marriage.” Bobby was silent as Josephine spoke. Once she finishes talking, he quietly walks away.

    Ladies, being in relationship does not mean you should become powerless. Or that you must compromise your value or worth. It is okay to let your light shine so that your higher power may be glorified. Dimming your light does not make your partner light shines brighter. Remember this, one lamp on in a room may give off sufficient light; however, two lamps on in a room will give off more than sufficient light. Men, be proud of your wife intellect. Her choosing you speaks volumes about you as a man. Show yourself approved.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

  • Sibling Rivalry

    The heartbreak of sibling rivalry after the cohesive glue has transition into the heavenlies.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Grace Smith and Henry Brown meet in their early twenties. In the courtship of dating, they discussed the pros and cons of being the only child. Although their parents have siblings, neither has been introduced to their distance relatives to form a family bond. Two years after meeting, Grace and Henry joined together in holy matrimony. The couple vowed to raised their kids to value family. Grace and Henry started growing their family immediately after getting marry. They give birth to eight kids; five boys and three girls. Among the five oldest kids, their ages were spaced between 12 to 18 months apart. There is a three-year gap between the fifth and sixth child and 24-month gap between each of the last three kids. The family was very close. In the winter time during snow storms, the kids would play board games inside their home or listen to music on their record player. Grace and Henry raised their kids to communicate with each other and to always have each other’s back. It wasn’t unusual for the kids to play together outside during the summer. At least two of the siblings would socialize within the same circle of friends. If one sibling had a friend come over to the house, they all joined in the fun or conversation. They were known as a close-knit family in the neighborhood.

    When Henry health begins to declined, Grace had to work outside the home to support the family. Grace depended on her kids to help more around the house. The girls would do the grocery shopping and washing of the clothes. The boys were responsible for going with the girls shopping and washing so that they could carry the bags or clothes. The youngest child often pulled his wagon to help the boys take turn resting their arms during the long-distance walk to and from the market and laundry mat. The boys also took turns taking out the trash as the girls cleaned and cooked. As the Brown family kids grew older, the boys begin to spend less time together. Working after school jobs and joining sport teams at school put a separation among them. At the time of Henry demise, four kids were in high school, one was in junior high school the remaining three were in elementary school. The Brown kids further drift apart as the oldest four graduated from high school and begin to date. Discovering their individuality, the oldest four soon moves out the home after graduating. The fifth child Rose was left with the responsibility of helping with the household as her mother works. At the end of 12th grade, Rose buys a used car with the money she saved from working odd jobs after school. Once she graduated from high school, she becomes full-time caretaker for her younger three siblings. She took care of them like they were her own kids. She cooked, cleaned, helped the kids with their homework. She would take them to school in the morning and pick them up from after school programs. At times, she would take the youngest three to the movies on the weekends. The youngest child Curtis missed his older brother Junior a lot. He would often go to Junior apartment after school without letting Rose know his whereabouts. Curtis looked up to his older brother after their dad’s death; he clinked to Junior as a child would to their parent. He was the only one of the three youngest to give Rose problems. He did not like being treated like the baby of the family. He wanted to be looked up to like his oldest brother, Junior. Although he was only eleven years of age, he wanted Rose to treat him like a man. Rose tries to handle Curtis’s rebellion attitude without complaining to their mother. Each time she would punish Curtis bad behavior, he would run to Junior for refuge. Junior would always take Curtis side even though he knew Curtis was in the wrong. Rose begins to compromise with Curtis to bring peace into the home. She did not want her mother to come home and deal with family issues after working a ten hour shift each day.

    Rose ran into an ex-classmate when she was running errands for her mom. Glen and Rose greeted each other with a hug and began to talk about life after high school. They exchanged phone numbers. One evening Glen calls Rose, when he asked what has she been doing with herself since graduation; she was embarrass to tell him that she has place her plans on hold to care for her youngest three siblings while her mom works. Glen picked up on the hesitation in Rose’s reply and decided to withdrawal his question by changing the subject. Glen always had a crush on Rose; he did not want to do or say anything that would run her away from him.  Glen would occasionally call Rose to say hi as he checked on her. Their conversation would always end positive.

    After Curtis, the youngest child graduated from high school, Rose shifted her attention from the kids to herself. She finds a job working at the local cleaners. She goes to night school to become a Register Nurse. Rose moves out her mom’s home one year after working and attending night school. She finds a small one-bedroom apartment near her school. Her and Glen continue to communicate and occasionally goes on dates. After Rose completes her internship, she gets a job at the community hospital. As a register nurse, on many days, Rose works a double ship. Curtis went to an automotive trade school after graduating high school to become a mechanic. One evening Rose receives a call from one of her siblings stating that her mother was ill and due to have surgery soon. Rose immediately goes to the hospital to see her mother. Curtis was there when she arrives and proceed to tell Rose she did not have to come because he has it under control. “Curtis!”, shouts Rose, “this is not about you having it under control. I am here to see my mother and check on her health condition.” Curtis frowns at Rose before walking out the room. Rose took the day of her mother’s surgery off work. She also came to the hospital daily to check on her mother. When Grace was released from the hospital, Rose arranged for a nurse to come to the home daily to care for her mother.  One week after Rose’s mother was released from the hospital, she passed away due to heart failure. Curtis calls his siblings to come to the house. He informed them that their mother has died. When everyone arrives to the house, they asked where is Rose. Curtis states, he forgot to call her. Rose older sister gives her a call.  When Rose arrives at the home, the paramedic was leaving after dispatching the coroner. Rose asked the family, what happen? They all stated the same; Curtis called us saying mom was dead. Curtis refused to answer Rose questions; so, Rose decided to contact the nurse to get the details of care given to her mother in her last hours. Rose was informed, her brother Curtis had fired the nurse and that her mother was alone at home when she went into cardiac arrest. Rose was very upset but held her anger to take care of her mom’s body. She was also informed, by the family, that Curtis has arranged for a hole in the wall funeral home to pick up their mother’s body. Rose could not understand how this was possible. Their mom had just passed. Rose asked her family; do you not find this strange. The family did not want to dispute anything at this time; so, Rose went along with the family. Curtis told the family that he was beneficiary over their mom’s life insurance and that she only has a $5000 policy, but he would take care of everything. He only needed them to take care of her clothing and hair for burial as well as someone putting together the obituary.

    The next day, Rose receives a call from the mortuary. The mortician informed her that she was on speaker and that her brother Curtis was in his office and that they all were on a conference call with the insurance company. The mortician tells Rose the insurance company needs her permission for her brother and him to talk with the insurance company. When Rose asked why, the insurance lady introduce herself then stated that Rose was the beneficiary of their mom’s insurance policy. Rose was frozen with disbelief. She did not want to turn her mother’s burial into a battle field so she gave permission. The mortician thanks Rose and thought he had hung up with her. Rose listens as her brother Curtis spoke in an arrogant tone to the insurance lady; telling her “I told you I have permission to handle my mother’s burial arrangements.” Then he begins to argue with the lady about not paying him all the money on the policy he took out on his mother. The insurance lady explains that policy was too new and did not reach it maturity date but he could collect the $5000 rider insurance once the coroner’s report is submitted showing that his mom died of a heart attacked. Rose wanted to interject in the conversation by asking questions but she could not bring herself to argue with her brother at this time of grief she was feeling.

    Grace’s funeral was scheduled almost two weeks after the phone call with the insurance lady. Rose had to go to the mortuary to sign documents stating that it was okay for the insurance company to pay the mortuary directly. Two weeks after the funeral, Rose’s brother Curtis gave her a call and wanted to come talk with her in person. Rose agreed for him to come the next day. Rose did not feel right after hanging up the phone. She called Curtis back and demand to know why he needed to talk with her in person. Curtis claims he just found another life insurance policy for their mother and that she was the beneficiary. He proceeded to say that he drew up a contract for her to sign. What type of contract Rose asked? It’s a contract stating you agree to split the money from the life insurance with me and Junior. Rose declined to split the money and stated that she would use the money to put a head stone on her mother’s burial site then split the remaining money among their mom’s grandkids. Curtis did not agree and therefore refused to give Rose the life insurance policy or any information about the insurance company or the policy number. Rose contacted a lawyer who stated that Rose would have to take her brother to family court but it would be her word against his because she has no way of proving another policy exist without the insurance company name or the policy number. Also, she has no way of proving her brother has, in hand, another policy. Rose decided to pray and to let go for the sake of peace. She accepts the reality that her relationship with Curtis has been tarnished beyond repair.   A Thirst That Never Ceases   https://a.co/d5au6GYA

  • Crooks have all the answers; so, they think.  

    What to do when one of your family members is a crook with an influence on your child.

    Let’s talk about it…

    A mother with ten children raises her kids to become go getters. She instills in her six boys and four daughters the importance of not looking to receive a handout; but to be diligent in finding honest ways in providing for their needs. She lived and raised her kids by the phrase, “if a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat”. Her oldest five kids, which consist of three boys and 2 daughters were enrolled in government summer jobs every year starting at the age of fourteen until they graduated high school. Her seventh child Richard looked up to his older siblings, he desperately wanted to follow in their footsteps; however, Richard was too young for the government summer program. So, he got a paper route job at the age of 11. Richard would get up at 4:00 am in the morning to deliver newspapers before going to school and on the weekends. He used his older brother bike to make his deliveries. On weekends after delivering the newspapers, Richard would go to the local grocery stores to help customers carry groceries to their cars and return the shopping cart back to the store. The customers would tip Richard for his service. Richard never missed a weekend standing outside the grocery store helping customers. It did not matter if the temperature was below zero with snow piled sky high. Richard was faithful to his job, and just like his siblings, Richard used his money to help his mom feed and clothe him and his younger siblings. There were times, Richard would come home upset because some of the older boys in the neighborhood would rob him of his tips. Richard made a deal with his younger brother who was 18 months younger; yet, twice his size, to become his bodyguard for ¼ of his take home tips. Richard and Lawrence were now a team. Lawrence would hit rocks with his bat as Richard worked. Richard never had a problem with anyone robbing him again.

    As Richard grows older, not only did he learned great work ethics from his mother; but he also learned from the neighborhood guys who use to rob him. Richard was never without a pocket full of money. In high school he dressed in the latest fashion and would at times pick up food from the local mom and pop restaurant for his siblings. When asked by his older siblings, how did he make large amounts of money doing small, odd jobs, Richard never told. He would say, “mind your own business” as he shares the fruit of his labor with them; “just enjoy”, Richard would say. The mother of ten never question her kids on how they made their money after graduating from high school. She believed; they were following the same honest principles she had instilled in them as kids. Little did she know, all were except Richard the thief.

    After graduation, they all found professional skilled jobs. Some after attending colleges; others after receiving training through a government program. Richard had several different skilled jobs though-out the years. Although he never got marry or lived with anyone, him and his longtime girlfriend have a son together (Richard Jr.). Richard continued to live the good life. He bought a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, as well as several expense cars and motorcycles. Richard is known as the favorite uncle among his nieces and nephews. Regardless of how financially stable his siblings were, he would take his nieces and nephews school shopping for the latest name brand clothes; throwing them birthday parties; buying them the latest games and always giving them an allowance. Richard siblings often asked him how is that you make so much money on jobs that other people on the same type of job do not make. Richard has always been a fast talker. He would make you believe the sky is purple when you could clearly see it is blue. He would give them a fast talk explanation that did not make sense. Richard sister Barbara did not agree with her brother showering her kids with gifts that they did not earn. It went against the morals and values she was trying to instill in them. She wanted her kids to learn the same honest work ethics that she learned growing up. It was difficult for her to reward her kids for good grades and for doing their chores when her brother was secretly buying them expensive gifts that minimize the reward she gave to them. On the flip side, her brother secret gifts made it equally difficult for her to reprimand her kids for not having good grades or not doing their chores. Barbara would find new shoes under her kids’ bed, as well as new clothes hidden in the garage. One time she comes home from work and the kids had a new tv, a new stereo and a new DVD player in their room. She forbidden her brother to come to her home when she was not there. Richard ignored his sister requested and kept being the favorite uncle who shower her kids with whatever they wanted.

    By the time Richard was released from jail for the second time for grand theft, Barbara felt her kids were old enough to have a heart-to-heart talk with them regarding their uncle criminal activities. She felt her kids was old enough to handle the truth. She believed telling them the truth would help them understand why she did not want them accepting gifts and money from Richard especially without her knowledge and permission.

    Barbara three oldest kids understood and honor her wishes. However, her youngest child Chris looked up to his uncle with admiration. He slowly develops his uncle fast-talking thieving ways. Chris married a woman who was street wise. Chris loved impressing his wife with stories about his uncle. His wife and uncle became friends. Chris was happy to see his uncle and wife collaborating on how to increase money using street skills. He was proud of his small family’s street skills; he wore it like it was a badge of honor. He taught his son how to steal the kids arcade tickets as they were playing the games and were not aware that his son was dropping to the floor pretending to tie his shoe as he snatches their tickets coming out of the machine. It did not matter if these tickets only served a purpose of getting a cheap toy that did not last longer than a few days. Chris took prided in his son putting a candy bar in his pants before running out the store and getting away with it. He would intentionally buy his son pants a size bigger so that they would sag. Each time one of Chris’s siblings would ask him why his son wears sagging pants without a belt or why he doesn’t reprimand his son for stealing. Chris fast talking explanation always left them with a puzzle look on their face as they whisper, “why did I asked”.

    Richard and Chris were skilled in educating future thieves. Eventually, Richard was arrested and was sentenced to many years in prison. Chris, not having his mentor to cheer him on, slowly changed him from his life as a thief to finding a legitimate job as a shipping and receiving clerk in a warehouse.

    Hopefully, this story will encourage parents to be vigilant and aware of who their children idolize as mentors. As parents we must character inspect those who has a great influence in our children life. Because, if faith comes by hearing so will corruption. Our kids will mimic what they see and hear. Where do you want your kid’s morals and value to come from? When one’s hearing is from a bad source, so will their perception on the truth of life.

    https://thebookoflife.site