The pain and struggle are greater when it’s a family member you have to forgive.
Let’s talk about it…
Waldo is a sixty-year-old man who has devoted his life to blaming others for all the wrong he does in life. Not only does he blame others, he demands people to be accountable for wrong he believes they have done to him. The bible tells us in John 1:5; “the light shine in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” Waldo is a living example of how darkness doesn’t comprehend light.
Through-out Waldo childhood, he would steal anything he could get his hands on. Waldo skills in stealing sharpen each year since the age of ten. Also, since the age of ten, Waldo has been a dedicated hard worker. As a child, he had a paper route. He would stand at the door at the grocery store, offering to help people take their groceries to their car for change. At the age of twenty-one, Waldo purchased his first home and married the love of his life. By the time he was twenty-four, he was divorce and living as a squatter in his “default on loan” home, without lights and gas. During this time, Waldo love for the plant-based substance he was smoking had extra additives in it. These additives are what consumed his money and the reason for him becoming homeless. When Waldo’s sister Gracie heard about his living situation, she helped him rent a studio apartment by paying the security deposit and first month rent. Because Waldo was still working, Gracie had no idea him being homeless was due to his love for the plant with the additives. Gracie discovered the truth after her brother was arrested for stealing and robbery four months after renting the studio. Waldo spent approximately one year in jail and was order to go to rehab. Gracie would visit her brother while he was in jail. After getting out of rehab, Waldo got a job and a one-bedroom apartment. Waldo purchased a new car, new furniture for his apartment and was wearing expensive new clothes, as well as, purchasing name brand cloths for his child, and for his nieces and nephews. One would think, Waldo was on the road to living his life as a productive working citizen after getting out of rehab and doing well financially. This would have been true had Waldo not went back to jail three more times after Gracie helped him rent the studio apartment. Gracie never understood how Waldo would always bounce back so quicky each time he was released from jail with an abundance of money, new job, new furniture, car and clothes. Gracie has always been the type of person who drove in her own lane, not putting a lot of focus on what someone else was doing to obtain their finances.
After staying out of jail for several years, at the age of thirty-nine, Waldo purchased another home with the help of his sister Gracie. He asked Gracie to co-sign for his home. Gracie was living in an apartment and did not see herself purchasing a home anytime soon. Plus, she was so happy for her brother’s accomplishment that she co-signed for his house. For the first two years Waldo lived in his new home, Gracie name was on the deed until he refinanced taking her name off the property as a co-borrower. Gracie was elated her name was removed; because, having her name on Waldo’s house made it difficult for her in renting an apartment as a home owner.
Five years after Gracie name was removed from Waldo’s house, she received word from a family member that Waldo had been arrested for grand theft and was out on a $20 thousand dollar bail. However, Waldo was a wanted man became he did not show up in court on the day of his hearing. A lien was placed on Waldo’s house in the amount of the bail owed; yes, a $20 thousand dollars lien was placed on the house. After several months of being on the run, Waldo was caught. Waldo called Gracie from jail everyday pleading with her to help him out one more time by purchasing his house so that his estranged wife was not responsible for the bail and to clear the lien. Gracie decided to help Waldo by purchasing his house. The amount Waldo owed on his house plus the $20 thousand he owed to the bailed bondman was the amount of the loan Gracie had to borrow to purchase the house. Immediately after escrow closed on the house and Gracie moves into the house, Waldo begins to call Gracie everyday making demands and threats. He tells her that she is only allowed to use certain rooms in the house. She is to put her living room furniture on the enclosed patio and leave his furniture in the living room. She was not allowed to sit on his furniture in the living room. He tells her that no one was allowed to live in the house other than her and her two daughters. And he also tells her in seven years when he is released from jail, she has thirty days to move out of his house. Gracie tells Waldo, she did not take out a loan to purchase his house then give it back to him free of charge when he is released from prison. This is when the nightmare begins for Gracie as it pertains to her brother Waldo. Waldo threatens Gracie life after she stopped taking his calls from prison. He would send Gracie letters cursing her out and threatening her life. Gracie couldn’t understand how he was able to write threatening letters to her while being incarcerated. She thought all out going mail by inmates were reviewed before mailing. Waldo started calling their mother complaining that Gracie would not take his calls. Waldo became extremely angry when his mother took Gracie side because of all the threats and controlling demands he was sending to Gracie. Waldo cursed his mother out and threaten her life as well. He tells his mother that Gracie has always been her favorite and for this reason he tells his mother that he would never help her and that he hopes she dies a slow death without any help from anyone.
When Gracie purchased her brother’s house, she did not have the property taxes included in the monthly mortgage. Having to pay $3 thousand a year in property taxes, and $2 thousand in the first year in supplemental property taxes was causing Gracie to have financial difficulties. She did not consider that she would be paying trash, sewer, water and monthly gardeners bills when she moved into the house, as well as, a huge increase in lights and gas and mortgage. Gracie was so use to living in an apartment she had no idea of the additional financial responsibility that comes with living in a house. After two years of struggling to make ends meet in the house, Gracie decided to sell the house. She knew it was a manner of time before she could no longer handle the increase in expenses. Her credit cards were all a few dollars below the limit and she had no other resources in paying the yearly property taxes. Two weeks after the For Sale sign was placed on the front yard, six bids to purchase were received. Escrow closed on the house four weeks later. Gracie was given thirty days to move and a five thousand bill for the short sale of the house. The house sold for $5,000 less than what Gracie owed. Because of Gracie financial hardship, the lender gave her 5 years to pay the $5000 in small monthly installments.
Two months before Waldo was released from prison, Gracie’s mother called her to let her know that Waldo was sorry for all the threats and he wanted to apologize to her in person. Gracie did not believe her brother wants to sincerely apologized; Especially after Waldo devoted his life in telling anyone that would listen negative lies about her. On several occasions, Waldo tried to entice Gracie adult kids with money and gifts. He would tell Gracie’s kids the same lies he was telling others about their mother. Waldo wanted people to believe that Gracie stole his house from him, then sold it to benefit herself. Since getting out of prison, Waldo has stolen Gracie identity by getting credit cards in her name. Gracie refused to pressed charges against him, as long as, he closes the accounts and pay off the debt on the cards. Yet with the grace she shown to him; He brainwashes a younger sibling to take his side against Gracie. When Waldo eventually talked to Gracie after getting out of prison, he vowed to make her life a living hell. Because Gracie does not socialize with Waldo, some people feel Gracie is not being a good Christian. They tell her, she needs to forgive Waldo for all the threats he placed on her life; and for all the lies he is still telling about her; and for stealing her identity and trying to turn her kids against her through enticement with money and gifts. Gracie refuses to allow individuals who socialize with rotten fruit, to guide her in life. We all know, when a bad or rotten fruit is placed in a bowl with good fruit, it’s just a manner of time before the rotten fruit corrupt the good fruit by causing it to become rotten.
The reason we must spiritually fruit inspect a person character is because the bible tells us in Genesis 3:1, that the serpent aka the devil was more subtle; meaning highly skillful in craftiness. The bible tells in Matthew 10:16; because we walk among wolves, we must be as wise as a serpent and harmless as doves. Also, Jesus tells us in verse 32 of Matt 24; to learn the parable of the fig tree. He teaches the parable by saying, when its branch is yet tender and put forth leaves, you know that summer is near. The parable of the fig tree is symbolic to one that deceives; coming in his name saying they are the Christ. Jesus is saying, do not allow outer appearance or in the case of the fig tree, it’s out of seasonal appearance of growth to deceive you. In Matt 21; In the city of Jerusalem, after Jesus healed the blind and the lame in the temple, he leaves the city to go to Bethany to lodge. The next morning as he was returning to Jerusalem, he is hungry when he sees a fig tree. As Jesus come to the fig tree, he found nothing on it but leaves. Jesus command that no fruit grow on it from this time and going forward forever.” Again, the fig tree is symbolic to one that deceives because it grew the leave before the fruit in the season when the fruit should have grown before the leaves. It looked good in appearance yet it bears no fruit. Gracie understands the people who are labeling her as not being a good Christian, because she chooses not to socialize with Waldo, is being deceived. These people are being deceived by a rotten fruit in their bowl. They are looking at Waldo outer appearance only. Waldo goes to church every Sunday dress in a new suit. Every week Waldo posts pictures on social media of himself standing in front of church in his Sunday’s best outfit. These people look at Waldo’s pictures, but totally ignore the negative things he says on social media as well as in person to them directly about everyone and everything. If he doesn’t agree with the preacher topic, Waldo is very vocal with his negative remarks.
Gracie is very spiritual. She does not judge those who is not spiritually wise; she simply ignores their perception of her not being a good Christian because she chooses not to socialize with her brother. Waldo has been back in jail twice since serving seven years for grand theft. Which means Waldo is still a thief and a person who cannot be trusted. Waldo does not care who he hurts, lie on, or steal from. He has threatened the life of his mother and his sister. He has stolen from all his siblings and countless others for his own greed. Waldo is walking in the image of darkness not righteousness. He is allowing the devil to influence his thoughts and actions. He never speaks of love or anything positive concerning another person. When someone is influence by darkness and is operating in darkness; this person cannot comprehend the light of God. In John 1:3; the bible tells us; “the light shine in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not.” Waldo has nothing positive to say about anyone because he is in constant darkness. The bible tells us that God is light and God is love. Someone who comprehends the light and love of God has no problem expressing it to others. When someone has a problem in doing so, we need to spiritually fruit inspect that person motives, and be sober and vigilant in how we proceed around that person. In John 10:10; the bible tells us “The thief come not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” Waldo is a thief and makes no apology for who he is. In fact, he blames his mother for being a thief; he claims she taught him how to steal as a kid. Yet he doesn’t seek help in controlling his desire to steal. Every chance he gets, he sends threats to Gracie about suing her and making her pay for selling his house. In 1 Peter 5:8; the bible tells us to, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom he may devour.” The bible is telling us to use wisdom and be watchful when dealing with the adversary. If your gut tells you to proceed with cautions or not to proceed; believe what you are receiving in your gut. Gracie’s gut is telling her that Waldo is not trustworthy. Gracie does not believe in proving to people that she is a good Christian; she believes in producing good spiritual fruit.
Forgiving her brother was not an overnight accomplishment for Gracie. She spent time daily meditating on God word after reading his word. She spent time praying and talking with God. She opens herself up to what thus said the Lord God about herself as a person. She was open to see and hear the good, the bad and the ugly in order to change and break any strongholds she was carrying. When the strongholds broke off Gracie, she was able to cry out and lean on God as she was being purge and cleansed of past hurt and pain. Love entered her heart immediately after the strongholds broke and she was able to forgive all who hurt her. She was able to pray in the spirit for those who hurt her. Gracie loves her brother Waldo, she hopes and pray for nothing but the best for him. Nevertheless, she understands forgiveness does not negate the fact that she needs to be cautious, sober and vigilant to him who is operating in darkness.
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