The elaboration of relationship connections

recent posts

about

Judy Owens is a 2025 award winning author who is an avid reader of all genres of books. Her book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” has won an International Impact Book Award in the category of “Life Experience – Real Life Accounts”. Book website is https://a.co/d/5au6GYA Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars :D Judy Owens
  •  Parenting Grown Kids

     Parenting Grown Kids

    How to retire from parenting when grown ass kids keep running back to mommy when it is convenient for them.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Today is move day, thought Pat as she grabs her gym bag out the closet and heads for the door. She yells upstairs to let her youngest child James’s know that she is leaving and should be back before the movers arrive. At 5:30 in the morning, James is still sleep and did not hear his mom. After an hour of working out, Pat shower at the gym before going to her favorite café for an early breakfast. She sat in the café reminiscing about when her five kids were babies. The waitress interrupts her thoughts as she served Pat’s order, a veggie omelet with hash brown and hot coffee. Pat was enjoying her meal when her phone started ringing back-to-back. As she grabs her napkin to wipe her hands before reaching into her gym bag for her phone, she counted as least 4 missed calls. Who is this calling me like the world is coming to an end thought Pat. James calls his mom again before she had a chance to return his call. As soon as Pat picks up the call, before saying hello, James shouts in a panicky tone, “Mom, where are you? The movers will be here in thirty minutes.” “James, you are the one moving, not me. Besides, I told you I was leaving this morning, replied Pat.” “Mom, you know I do not wake up before ten a.m. on the weekends. The movers will be here at 8 a.m., I was depending on you to wake me up before they arrive. If it was not for some clown racing his motorcycle down the street, I would still be sleep. Where are you anyway?” James, I am in the middle of breakfast at J’s café. “Oh, that’s the spot, bring me back a meat lover’s omelet, cheese on top with a side of hash browns and orange juice.” Okay James, I will see you shortly. “Don’t be long mom, your baby boy is hungry.” Pat shifts her thoughts back to when the kids was little. She remembers her parents telling her that she was too young to get marry at the age of nineteen. Pat was so determined to prove her parents wrong; she never asked them for help at the age of twenty-one when she became pregnant with her first child. Pat and her husband figure out life the best they could as their family grew from two to seven. The waitress interrupts Pat thoughts again as she brings the take-out order with the check. Pat goes to the front cashier to pay the check before leaving.

     When Pat arrive home the movers was just starting to load the truck. She bought them donuts from the café. James come running down the stairs shouting “Mom, what took you so long?” Pat shakes her head as she thought this will soon be over. Her thoughts flipped to how good it will be to have her garage back after all the weights, dumbbells, drum set, guitars and boxes were out. I am so glad James is taking all the furniture in his bedroom. I will turn his room into an office. No need to have three empty bedrooms. Two guest bedrooms is enough for whoever comes to visit. With all five of my kids out the house, maybe I will join a social club. I am single, fifty-five and ready to mingle. It would be good to have some friends to travel with, or attend entertainment events with.

    A few weeks after James moves out the family home, Pat’s phone rings none stop. Her kids were constantly calling to ask her to babysit their kids or to borrow money that they never pay back. Pat felt like all five of her kids were implying through actions that she was their personal assistant. It was like each child was trying to beat the other child to her time and money. As Pat was having lunch in her office her phone rings. She looks at the caller ID; it is Jesse her oldest child. Jesse is thirty-three years of age, marry with two kids. Okay thought Pat today is Wednesday, what can he be calling about. Usually, he calls on Fridays asking me to babysit his kids for the weekend. “Hello Jesse.” “Hey Mom.” “What’s wrong Jesse, you sound horrible.” “That is why I am calling you. I am not feeling well. I am taking the next two days off work and need to stay with you until I feel better.” “Jesse, why can’t your wife take care of you?” “Mom, you know Betty still work outside the home. She does not have the privilege of working from home like you; besides, she does not know how to make the chicken soup you make when we are sick. Your chicken soup always made us feel better as kids.” “Okay Jesse, I will make up the bed in your old room.” “By the way mom, Betty and I need you to babysit the kids this weekend. I need to rest after coming home from your house.” Pat hung up the phone without replying to Jesse’s request for her to babysit. Of course, Pat was not going to say no to Jesse, she just did not want him to think he was in control of her life and time.

    I am so happy it is Monday thought Pat; Jesse and his kids wore me out the last four days. I am going to be selfish with my time this weekend. Pat looks at the caller ID of her ringing phone. “What now? Thought Pat.” “Yes James.” “Dang mom, why you answer the phone like that? You are making me feel a certain kind of way.” “Sorry James, I had a long weekend with your brother Jesse’s kids.” “Oh, okay; all is forgiven mom. Look, I am calling because I need you to look over this contract for an upcoming tour as a band member for a major artist.” “Son, it sounds like you need a lawyer.” “Mom, you studied business law, why can’t you do this for me? Besides, I don’t have money to pay a lawyer right now. You know I just moved out. The money I make as a fitness trainer is just enough to cover my monthly expenses.” “Okay James, bring the contract over this evening around 6:00p.” As Pat was going over James’s contract with him, her oldest daughter Pam calls. “Hello Pam, I am here with James helping him with some paperwork. Can I call you back after he leaves?” “Mom, as the baby of the family, James is always taking your time away from the rest of your kids.” “Pam, that is not true. What is it that you need Pam?” “Why you say it like that mom? See, this is what I am saying; every time you are occupying your time with James, you treat the rest of your kids like second class citizens.” “Pam, I am sorry it sounds that way; it’s just that I am tire.” “Well let me get to it so you can get some rest by helping James. I am calling because my friends and I are going on a cruise to the Bahamas. I need to borrow six hundred dollars to pay-off the balance I owe for my share of the cruise.” “Pam, why are you going on a vacation cruise that you cannot afford? What makes you think that I have money sitting in the bank waiting for your future expenditures to come swift it away.” “Mom, I asking to borrow not give to me. You are an old school mom, so I know you have a stash of bills hidden somewhere.” “Pam, you still owe me from the last five times you had to borrow money. I cannot afford to keep letting you borrow money that you do not pay back. When do I start enjoying the fruit of my labor when all my saving is going to my grown kids?” “Wait, hold up shouts James, I don’t ask you for money mom.” “No, you don’t ask me for money James; just to buy you things that cost money.” “Well, this is not about me, so I am exiting left out of you and Pam’s conversation.” “Pam, this is the last time I will be lending you money. The bank is close after this withdrawal. Your father and I have raised you kids without any help from family. We learned how to budget our finances so that we would not become a burden on someone else. We did not assume someone else planned their finances around our needs. We understood our parents were officially retired from parenting once their grown kids moved out the house by age 21. This does not mean that we could not consult with them for advice. Once they advised, we did the work ourselves. I am going to call a family meeting this weekend. I will ask your father to be present. It is time, you 21 and over grown ass kids understand to call a doctor when you are sick and have your spouse nurse you back to health. To not spend what you do not have. To save for rainy days. To hire a babysitter from an outside agency; not your mom. I do not know if you all go to your father as much as you come to me. Either way, it must stop. I want to enjoy my live by taking vacations and hanging out with friends. I would love to be in a romantic relationship with someone again. I cannot do these things as long as I am parenting grown kids.”

    Pat finally found the strength to say no to her kids and to live out loud by posting online her enjoyment from the fruit of her labor. Ralph, a college classmate of Pat’s came across one of her postings and decided to send a direct message to her on Instagram. Pat was flabbergasted to receive a message from an old classmate. She was surprised that he recognized her after over thirty years. Pat and Ralph rekindle their friendship and eventually began to exclusively date each other.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

     

  • Betrayal Due to Jealousy

    Betrayal Due to Jealousy

    The shock of betrayal by a trusted friend of 30 plus years.

    Let’s talk about it…

    “Where do I go from here”; thought Ann, after receiving her divorce decree. “I did not imagine myself single with a four-year-old child, ten years after saying “I Do.” But here I am having to plan my life as a single mother, and I don’t have a clue where to start. Okay, the first thing I need to do is find an apartment for me and Junior and childcare near my job. Having to pick up Junior from childcare near his dad’s home would bring back so many good and bad memories, I care not to revisit at this time. I need to focus on the future. Okay, it’s time to put my thoughts into action.”

    Ann found a two-bedroom apartment on the other side of town in the same city where she lived with her ex-husband. Her and Junior have finally adjusted to their new norm. As a supervisor over ten employees, Ann is usually the first to arrive at work and the last to leave. She was happy Junior child care was close to the job. Her robotic routine Monday through Friday bought a sense of peace. Ann’s company was growing, which meant more work for Ann’s department. Ann and her manager agreed they need to hire a new employee in order to assist with the additional work. Finding someone with the qualification for the job was exhausting. After two-weeks of interviews Ann and her manager decided to use an outside agency to find a temp-to-hire employee. The agency highly recommended someone who was in the midst of branching outside of their family business. Ann and her manager interviewed the temp-to-hire person and agreed to give her a chance. Susie’s first day went well, as a fast learner she was able to handle her assigned work load.

    One day after leaving work, Ann noticed Susie was outside standing near the corner. Susie had clocked-out two hours prior to Ann leaving.  Ann drove up to Susie and asked her was everything okay. Susie stated she was waiting on her boyfriend who had her car. She also expressed her concerns for him not coming in time for her to pick up her kids from their after-school child care program. Ann asked Susie the location of her kid’s child care. Because it was near, Ann offers to take Susie after picking up her son. Susie is a single mother of four; all boys close in age. Ann heads home after dropping off Susie and her kids. Based on Susie’s sons apparel, Ann was happy she hired her. She felt Susie was financially stricken and hoped her pay was sufficient. Taking Susie and her boys’ home has become a weekly routine for Ann. She felt it was time to have a friend-to-friend conversation with Susie. She invited Susie and her sons over for dinner. Ann knew she needed to prepare some comfort food for Susie’s high energy boys. She needed a meal that would put them in a relax state after eating. Ann prepared fried chicken, collard greens with smoked turkey and mac-and cheese. The heavy meal worked. The boys played computer games with junior after they ate. This gave Ann time to talk with Susie. She asked Susie why do her boyfriend always have her car. Susie claims he is using it to look for a job. Susie explains that her boyfriend lives with his mother on the same street where she lives and that he is eight years younger than her. “So, he is only 20 years old”, asked Ann. “Yes, but he is very mature states Susie.” Ann learns a lot about Susie including the fact that she couldn’t cook. Susie and Ann’s friendship grew closer after the dinner. Susie begins to cling to Ann. She would confide in her about the past and present hardship in her life.  Ann felt compelled to help Susie in any way that she could. She would often invite Susie and her sons to her home for dinner. As well as treat them to amusement parks and the movies with her and junior. After years of friendship, Susie’s boys would tell people that Junior was their cousin. Susie and Ann’s work relationship begin to suffer when Susie stopped completing her assignments by the deadline. Ann could no longer cover for her. Ann talked her manager into recommending Susie for a job in a different department rather than fire her. Six months after Susie was transferred to another department, she was fire by the manager of that department. After being fire, Susie and Ann continued to be friends. When Ann moved into a house, Susie moved closer to where Ann lived.

    Ann adopts her sister’s three young kids after her sister passed away. Although Ann’s adopted kids were her nieces and nephew, the kids called her mom.  Ann and Susie would help each other with their kids. Although, Ann’s family had increased by three, she continued to treat Susie and her boys as long as she was financially able. When Ann’s financial status no longer allowed her to treat Susie, their relationship began to change. Susie became more of a distance friend. Ann was being told by mutual friends that Susie was always talking about her in a negative way. By this time, all the kids had graduated from high school, so Ann did not take to heart what people said. She felt the disconnect between her and Susie was because the kids were older and there was no need to take them to amusement parks or the movies as a group. Ann youngest adopted child became pregnant at the age of eighteen with her first child and at the age of 20 with her second child. Susie begins to spent a lot of time with Ann’s adopted kids. Although the kids were young adults, the girls would have sleep overs at Susie’s home. Ann’s oldest adopted daughter begins to mimic Susie’s personality traits by dressing inappropriate for a girl her age. The more time Ann’s adopted children spent with Susie, the less they would listen to her advice. Ann did not want to act like the jealous mom by coming against the relationship the kids had formed with Susie. Susie became obsessed with Ann’s youngest daughter kids. She would often baby sit them. Susie’s influence with Ann’s adopted kid spiral out of control with her input in how the girls dress, who they date or not date, and how they are to live their life. Ann’s oldest daughter begins to see the hold Susie had on her and her sister. Also, she became aware of all the lies Susie had talked about her adopted mom. Ann’s oldest daughter realized Susie had been poisoning her and her siblings’ thoughts with negative talk against their mom, Ann. Therefore, she no longer believed the lies Susie told her. She realized everything Susie said about her mom was not the truth. However, because the youngest daughter was in need of Susie assistance in babysitting, she remains under her control. Ann was working a full-time job and wasn’t able to babysit during the weekday. However, she spent a lot of time with her grand kids on the weekend.

    When the youngest daughter moves in with her kid’s father, Susie tried to convince her that he was not a good person. She wanted the youngest daughter to move in with her. Susie tried to use Ann to convince the youngest girl to move in with her. Susie tells Ann that the youngest daughter boyfriend was abusing her. When Susie’s plan did not work, she spent the next two years building a child endangerment case against the youngest daughter and her boyfriend. She would call child protective service weekly. Each time child protective service would do a welfare check in on the grandkids they wouldn’t find any evidence of what the caller would state. Ann had no idea this was happening behind her back. Susie would occasionally call Ann, but never told her about the calls she was making to child protective service. After two years of getting nowhere with calling child protective service, Susie befriends someone who worked in the department of children service. Susie’s friend tells her what to do in order to get the kids removed from their parents. Susie, her son, along with the son’s wife began to spy on the youngest daughter. Susie went as far as to tell Ann that the grandkids was endangered. Susie states her son and daughter in law witness the father beating up the youngest daughter outside in public and that he dragged her by the hair in the streets. Ann was upset with the news she received from Susie; she immediately contacted her daughter. Ann’s daughter denies everything Susie had said. Two days after Susie had talked with Ann, child protective service comes to the youngest daughter house as she was at the end of moving, the only things left in the apartment was trash. The youngest daughter refuses to allow child protective service in her apartment. She asked her kids to come to the door so that the worker could see that they were okay. The worker looks through the window then asked the parents why was there no furniture and why was trash all over the floor. The parents explained to the worker that they had just moved and they were in the middle of cleaning up the apartment before turning in the keys.

    The next day while unpacking at the new location, the youngest girl receives a call from the police stating that they were at their previous location with child protective service. They stated that child protective services have orders to remove the kids from their home. The police ordered the parents to bring the kids to court the next day in order to avoid kidnapping charges. The parents did as the police instructed. The grandkids were taken from their parents at court and given to Susie’s oldest son who was listed as the kid’s uncle and the only relative. The parents told the Judge that Susie’s son was not related to the kids and they have family that would take the kids. The judge asks child services to look into if there is family available to take the kids. The parents were able to get a copy of the report and charges against them. The report listed two years of calls from three different numbers claiming child endangerment. Ann, being furious about the kids being taken and given to Susie’s son the same day of court decided to call Susie to find how is this possible. Susie tried to convince Ann that she told her that she was working with a social worker to have the kids remove because they were not safe being with parents who fight publicly in the streets. Also, she tried to convince Ann that they had agreed that she and her son would be the best care providers to the kids since everyone in Ann’s family worked full time jobs and wasn’t available to take the kids. Ann and her family came together to fight against the lies told by Susie to Child Protective Service. It took two years of fighting before the kids were reunited with their family.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  • When A Man Loves a Woman

    When A Man Loves a Woman

    When a man loves a woman, his life is centered around his love for her.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Andre, a single, tall, dark and handsome man is turning 40 in a month. His friends have been secretly collaborating about throwing him a party on the yacht. Jason has a large two deck yacht that he rents out for entertainment engagements. Andre along with his four friends started a social club approximately ten years ago. It’s a men only social club where members have to pay an annual fee to be part of the club. The members receive discounts when booking an engagement at one of the social club owners business facilities. The five men who started the club met 12 years ago at an entrepreneur seminar. Their stories were similar in nature. They all grew up in a poverty-stricken environment and wanted to excel higher than the limitations place on them due to their demographic profiles. The five men worked hard and wanted to invest their saving wisely, which is the reason for them attending the seminar. Only one of the men have a master’s degree in business. The other four have some college but did not graduate. After attending the seminar, the five men friendship began with the exchanging of contact information. The friends counsel and encourage each other as they became entrepreneurs.

    Andre owns two-night clubs. One is located in Miami Florida, and the other is located in Hollywood. Jason’s three yachts are located in Dana Point, Marina Del Rey, & Cape Coral, Florida. Robert owns two sports bars; one in North Hollywood, the other in downtown Los Angeles. Richard owns several mansions located in Calabasas, the Hollywood Hills and other locations in California. Brian owns a franchise with a major vacation cruise ship. Not any of the men is married. Because of their similarity in never dating anyone long enough to form an attachment, these friends are known for being a ladies’ man.

    The five friends all live in California, which lead to the decision to have the party on the yacht located in Marina Del Rey. The four friends secretly invited 50 members from their social club. They asked each of the members invited to invite at least two ladies or one lady with a plus one. They informed the invitees that no one would be allowed on the yacht without a boarding pass. Andre’s birthday is on a Tuesday, four days prior to the social club owners scheduled monthly meeting. Andre was told the meeting will be held on the yacht in Marina Del Rey. Andre was not suspicious because the club owners often will meet at one of their facilities.

    Andre arrives 45 minutes after the guest had arrived. He was surprised to see the mass number of people on the yacht. He called the owner Jason of the yacht to see if there was a change in the meeting date that he was not privy to. As Andre was on his cell phone talking to Jason, he sees his four friends walking towards him with two bottle girls holding up a huge banner with sparkling neon writing that reads “Happy 40th birthday Andre”. Andre was totally surprised and elated that his friends came together to celebrate with him in honor of his 40th birthday.

    Before dinner, everyone socialized with drinks at the open bar. Andre notices this lady standing at the bar waiting patiently as the bartender mixed drinks before pouring her a glass of wine. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He did not understand why he was so mesmerized by this woman. Andre has been a ladies’ man all his life. To Andre, women looks and shape may be different, but they are all the same. He never had a woman to smitten him or cause him to see them different from any other woman. Andre did not understand how or why people fall in love. He did not understand the purpose in being in relationship with only one person for the rest of your life when what they bring to the table is nothing different than anyone else. Andre never experiences any relationship beyond the norm which is; met a lady, occasionally go to dinner, occasionally come together for sex; then go your separate way when the arguments begin. Andre, nicknamed this norm, “the revolving door syndrome”. Here he is staring at the woman, but can’t understand Why. He describes it, within himself, as an invisible magnetic force drawing him closer. Andre decides to approach her. “Hello, my name is Andre.” “Hello Andre, my name is Beverly. So, you are the face of the name on the invitation. Happy Birthday.” “Thank you, Beverly, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Who are you here with?” “I am here alone states Beverly, I was invited by a co-worker who is one of your club members.” Andre invites Beverly to sit at his table for dinner. He was so intrigued with her; he wanted to know her better. Andre and Beverly talked for hours. Aside from the staff, they were the last two to exit the yacht. They exchanged contact information. Andre found himself calling Beverly the next day asking her to have dinner with him to continue their conversation from last night. Beverly agreed.

    Andre and Beverly spent every weekend together. He fell in love with Beverly quiet meek personality. He was surprised to hear she was a lawyer. He thought all lawyers were combative talkative people. After several months of dating Beverly, Andre asked her to be exclusively his girlfriend. He wanted to spend every free moment he had with her. He found himself thinking about her through-out the day whenever they were apart from each other. He would text her every morning to say, “Good Morning.” He would text her every day around lunch time to say, “He hopes she is enjoying her day and to have a good lunch.” He would call her every evening to talk briefly for about 15 minutes. Andre entire life was centered around his love for Beverly. He made sure she was safe as they walked down the street together. He would watch their surroundings and people; he would walk on the side of traffic to keep her safe from cars. He made sure her home was secure with cameras and alarms. Also, he made sure her car had its proper maintenance and was safe for her to drive. Andre did not understand the changed that has come over him since meeting Beverly. He tried to rationalize it within his mind. Andre would think to himself, “it’s not that her outer beauty is any greater than other women he dated. Or that her personality traits were out of the ordinary that he hasn’t experience before in another woman.  He wasn’t sure what it was; all he knows is that he was feeling something that he never felt before. He couldn’t pinpoint what that something was until one night in the midst of having sex with Beverly, he shouts “I love you” without hesitation or pre-thought. Andre couldn’t believe he broke the Bro code by telling a woman he loved her first and it wasn’t because he had reached the top of the mountain yet during sex. The next day, at work, Andre could not take his mind off the intimate evening he had with Beverly and what made him shout “I love you.” “What is happening to me, thought Andre.” “Am I becoming weak? Why is it that I am feeling what I am feeling?” Andre wanted to talk to someone to help him understand this never felt before emotion. He knew he could not talk to his boys from the social club; they would laugh at me thought Andre. He decided to man up and talk to his dad about it. After explaining the entire scenario to his dad. Andre’s father told him, “Man you are in love; it’s that simple.” “In love” shouts Andre. “Yes, His father replies. “And that’s exactly what you shouted to her in the midst of making love to her.” Dad, “I told you that we were having sex when I shouted, I Love You.” “Son, having sex is what you do when love is not involved. You have hit a pivotal milestone. You are experiencing love for the very first time with a woman.” “Dad, I’m trying to understand how I got here.” “Son, your mother will have to explain that one to you. We, as men are not emotional intellects. You don’t have to tell your mom all the details, if you know what I mean; just explain to her that you are trying to understand why you were so attracted to this woman versus other women you dated and why you told her you love her first.” Okay dad will do.

    Andre’s mother explained to him that his attraction to Beverly was not a fleshly attraction but a spiritual attraction. She told him that he is drawn to the beauty of Beverly’s aura. “Son, based on what you told me, Beverly is a spiritual woman. This is not to say she is a perfect woman. However, she understands that imperfection is in all beings and in order to not allow her blemishes to guide her through life, she understands the important of keeping herself spiritual grounded. Spiritual people are not quick to speak negativity because they are having a bad day or cuss someone out because they deserve it or wish evil doing upon someone because they are jealous. Spiritual people, live and let live. Their focus is on personal spiritual growth not on judging other people. When a person is spiritual grounded, they release a spiritual energy that encompass their entire being which is known as their aura. Beverly’s subjective sensation of invisible light attracted your energy. In other words, your energy was attracted to her energy. Beverly is obviously a woman who spend time, in private, praying and meditating on the fruit of the spirit which is Love. When one live in the spirit of love, so shall they walk in the spirit of love. Son, I encourage you to embrace rather than question; because for most people true love only comes once.”

    Ladies, you have the power within your natural beauty to attract a man; the question is, do you want to attract a man who is lusting after you or who have the proclivity to love you by walking in the spirit of love. Trust and believe not everyman who says I love you is walking in the spirit of love, if they cuss you out privately and publicly, and only takes the fruit of your labor and not share their fruit with you, and does not have your back; but is always looking for you to have their back, and does not care about your safety or if they are taking food out of your child’s mouth without providing a meal.  If this is the case, change how you attract a man. Spend time mediating on the fruit of the spirit until it cleanses your aura. Remember, Love is joy, it’s peaceful, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, and meekness. You deserve true love. Peace!

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

    Thank you to all who have purchased my book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” on Amazon. Please be so kind to leave a review on Amazon; hopefully five stars 😀

    Judy Owens

  •  Intimidated by My Wife

     Intimidated by My Wife

    Men who feel they hold the switch to when and how their wife use knowledge.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Josephine, a single attracted woman in her early thirties, occupies her leisure time with reading, going to seminars, taking training classes, and looking at “how to fix or build” programs on TV. She loves learning beyond her Bachelor degree in Business. She is a license Real Estate Agent. She has a certificate in Tax Preparation from one of the largest Income Tax Preparation Agency. She loves to put together furniture that is deliver in a box in pieces. She loves to cook and decorate. She likes when things are neat, organize and clean. Josephine feels she can think clearer when her surroundings is clean and orderly. Josephine is a very humble and meek person. She was raised by a mother who received her GED when she was in her late thirties. Yet her mother held a sit on the board at the local community health center for low-income people. Her mother had a non-profit organization that helped low-income people fight against discrimination due to financial status. Josephine’s mother felt that all people should have a right to good health care and education regardless of where they lived or the amount of money they have or not have in the bank. Despite the lack in institutional education, Josephine mother was an overachiever.  Josephine mother achievements inspired her.

    Josephine is an easy-going type of person. She never judges anyone based on their financial status, their education, or their speech. She understands, there is a lot of skillful, smart people without a college education and there is a lot of educated people without money. When Josephine met her husband Bobby, he was wearing a plain uniform. She knew Bobby had a job but did not ask him what type of job. She knew he lives alone in an apartment; but did not ask in what area did he live. She was more interested in getting to know Bobby’s personality traits. Josephine loves Bobby gentle warm smile. He would call her everyday only to say hi. He would invite her on a date every Saturday. Many times, they would spend Saturday’s going to the movies and dinner. Sometimes they would go to concerts, exhibitions, and museums. Bobby was the perfect gentleman. He always opens doors for Josephine and never allowed her to pay for anything. Sometimes Josephine would cook at home to not feel guilty about all the money Bobby was spending on their dates. After a year of dating, Bobby invited Josephine to his home for dinner. He wanted to show off his culinary skills. Josephine was impressed with Bobby’s cooking skills. She was extremely impressed that his apartment was clean. Bobby and Josephine married 18 months after dating. Josephine loved Bobby’s huge size rooms in his apartment, she decided to move into his apartment with him after they got marry. Immediately after moving into Bobby’s apartment, he asked Josephine to pay 50 percent of the rent and monthly bills. Prior to marriage, whenever Josephine would ask Bobby about their financial arrangement after they get marry; Bobby would say, do not worry about it. You know I got you. Although Bobby knows how to cook, He feels Josephine should prepared dinner every day but did not say anything about who is responsible for buying the groceries. Once again, Josephine asked about putting together a financial and household duties agreement. Her request was totally ignored by Bobby. Josephine decided it was best if she comes up with an agreement for them to discussed. Especially since she would be the one cooking, cleaning, and shopping for the household. She agreed to pay half the rent but felt Bobby should continue to pay the monthly utilities, purchase his personal hygiene items as well as contribute to the household cleaning supplies and groceries. Bobby was not happy but agreed. After marriage the couple no longer went on dates. Whenever Josephine would ask about having a date night, Bobby insist only if the bill was split 50 percent. Josephine agreed to split the bill on date nights.

    Josephine was a very clean person and she thought Bobby was as well before they got marry. However, after saying “I Do”, she realized Bobby was not very clean. He would leave his clothes on the floor, and paper work was all over the house. He would waste food and liquids on the floor without cleaning it up.  He stopped opening doors and start giving her chores of what he expected to be done each day. Josephine worked a full-time job; yet, Bobby expected her to immediately come home after work to clean up behind him and cook dinner, so that when he arrives home, he could relax in a clean home with a hot meal.

     Josephine was very skilled in reading and interpreting contracts. She was very skilled in finances and would often make sure before signing on the dotted line that the contract was beneficial to their financial good. Bobby on the other hand would sign documents without reading just to get what he wanted. Bobby would get anger at Josephine for wanting to take time to dissect the contract for errors before signing. Often, Josephine would find an error in the contract. Bobby would be happy that Josephine saved them money; yet he would get anger at her because he felt she made him looked less knowledgeable in front of people. Bobby was not computer savvy and often would demand Josephine to stop what she was doing to come help him. However, whenever a visitor was at their home and Bobby had a computer problem or an issue with streaming a movie, he would become agitated and upset when Josephine automatically came to his rescue to fix the problem in front of the guest.

    During the purchase of their new house, Bobby got upset with Josephine for asking a lot of questions and for carefully reviewing the documents. He accused her of intentionally trying to make him look bad in front of people. He tells her that he is the man and the head of their household and her job was to remain silent until a question was asked of her. Josephine was silent as her husband spoke his demands. However, although she did not agree with him, she chose not to express her thoughts.

     Josehine would often hear Bobby on the phone bragging and taking credit for things that she had done; such as preparing and filing their taxes every year. Whenever Bobby’s friends would call him regarding income tax issues, he would ask Josephine then relay the message to his friends. Super bowl Sunday was coming up in a week. Bobby decided to invite his friends over to watch the game on his new 75-inch TV with surround sounds. After the game, one of Bobby’s friends asked him an income tax question regarding filing as a newly married man. The friend wanted to file his taxes separate from his wife; but his wife wanted to file together as a marry couple. Bobby’s friend wanted to know the benefits of filing separate versus filing marry. Because Bobby did not want to ask Josephine in front of his friends, he gave his friend a guess-at-it-answer. Josephine overheard Bobby’s reply to his friend and was disappointed that her husband gave fraudulent information that could cost a substantial decrease in refund to the friend. Josephine decided to intercede in the most respectful way she could. She started by saying to Bobby, “Honey, remember the financial benefits for the tax status “Marry filing Separate is totally different from Marry filing jointly”. I think it would be more beneficial for your friend if he files with his wife as a Marry couple; his tax preparer would know best. After Bobby’s friends left, he harshly reprimanded Josephine for interfering in his conversation. Josephine decided to stand up for herself. She spoke back to her husband in a monotone firm voice. “I am tired of you treating me like I do not matter in this relationship. You knew of my skills and interest in learning when we got marry. If you felt you would be intimidated by my knowledge, you shouldn’t have married me. Why must I decrease for you to increase as a man in charge of his household. You should be proud to tell people that you married an intelligent knowledgeable woman. Your proudness would have shown the unity of us as one and would have automatically increase your status as a man. People judge many times on the company we keep as well as the person we marry. Because I take your degrading disrespectful treatment without standing up for myself; My friends see me as a batter woman who must have low self-esteem. I am not a light switch under your control to switch on and off for knowledge only when it is to benefit you. If you do not change your disrespectful treatment towards me, I am leaving this marriage.” Bobby was silent as Josephine spoke. Once she finishes talking, he quietly walks away.

    Ladies, being in relationship does not mean you should become powerless. Or that you must compromise your value or worth. It is okay to let your light shine so that your higher power may be glorified. Dimming your light does not make your partner light shines brighter. Remember this, one lamp on in a room may give off sufficient light; however, two lamps on in a room will give off more than sufficient light. Men, be proud of your wife intellect. Her choosing you speaks volumes about you as a man. Show yourself approved.

    https://a.co/d/5au6GYA

  • Sibling Rivalry

    Sibling Rivalry

    The heartbreak of sibling rivalry after the cohesive glue has transition into the heavenlies.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Grace Smith and Henry Brown meet in their early twenties. In the courtship of dating, they discussed the pros and cons of being the only child. Although their parents have siblings, neither has been introduced to their distance relatives to form a family bond. Two years after meeting, Grace and Henry joined together in holy matrimony. The couple vowed to raised their kids to value family. Grace and Henry started growing their family immediately after getting marry. They give birth to eight kids; five boys and three girls. Among the five oldest kids, their ages were spaced between 12 to 18 months apart. There is a three-year gap between the fifth and sixth child and 24-month gap between each of the last three kids. The family was very close. In the winter time during snow storms, the kids would play board games inside their home or listen to music on their record player. Grace and Henry raised their kids to communicate with each other and to always have each other’s back. It wasn’t unusual for the kids to play together outside during the summer. At least two of the siblings would socialize within the same circle of friends. If one sibling had a friend come over to the house, they all joined in the fun or conversation. They were known as a close-knit family in the neighborhood.

    When Henry health begins to declined, Grace had to work outside the home to support the family. Grace depended on her kids to help more around the house. The girls would do the grocery shopping and washing of the clothes. The boys were responsible for going with the girls shopping and washing so that they could carry the bags or clothes. The youngest child often pulled his wagon to help the boys take turn resting their arms during the long-distance walk to and from the market and laundry mat. The boys also took turns taking out the trash as the girls cleaned and cooked. As the Brown family kids grew older, the boys begin to spend less time together. Working after school jobs and joining sport teams at school put a separation among them. At the time of Henry demise, four kids were in high school, one was in junior high school the remaining three were in elementary school. The Brown kids further drift apart as the oldest four graduated from high school and begin to date. Discovering their individuality, the oldest four soon moves out the home after graduating. The fifth child Rose was left with the responsibility of helping with the household as her mother works. At the end of 12th grade, Rose buys a used car with the money she saved from working odd jobs after school. Once she graduated from high school, she becomes full-time caretaker for her younger three siblings. She took care of them like they were her own kids. She cooked, cleaned, helped the kids with their homework. She would take them to school in the morning and pick them up from after school programs. At times, she would take the youngest three to the movies on the weekends. The youngest child Curtis missed his older brother Junior a lot. He would often go to Junior apartment after school without letting Rose know his whereabouts. Curtis looked up to his older brother after their dad’s death; he clinked to Junior as a child would to their parent. He was the only one of the three youngest to give Rose problems. He did not like being treated like the baby of the family. He wanted to be looked up to like his oldest brother, Junior. Although he was only eleven years of age, he wanted Rose to treat him like a man. Rose tries to handle Curtis’s rebellion attitude without complaining to their mother. Each time she would punish Curtis bad behavior, he would run to Junior for refuge. Junior would always take Curtis side even though he knew Curtis was in the wrong. Rose begins to compromise with Curtis to bring peace into the home. She did not want her mother to come home and deal with family issues after working a ten hour shift each day.

    Rose ran into an ex-classmate when she was running errands for her mom. Glen and Rose greeted each other with a hug and began to talk about life after high school. They exchanged phone numbers. One evening Glen calls Rose, when he asked what has she been doing with herself since graduation; she was embarrass to tell him that she has place her plans on hold to care for her youngest three siblings while her mom works. Glen picked up on the hesitation in Rose’s reply and decided to withdrawal his question by changing the subject. Glen always had a crush on Rose; he did not want to do or say anything that would run her away from him.  Glen would occasionally call Rose to say hi as he checked on her. Their conversation would always end positive.

    After Curtis, the youngest child graduated from high school, Rose shifted her attention from the kids to herself. She finds a job working at the local cleaners. She goes to night school to become a Register Nurse. Rose moves out her mom’s home one year after working and attending night school. She finds a small one-bedroom apartment near her school. Her and Glen continue to communicate and occasionally goes on dates. After Rose completes her internship, she gets a job at the community hospital. As a register nurse, on many days, Rose works a double ship. Curtis went to an automotive trade school after graduating high school to become a mechanic. One evening Rose receives a call from one of her siblings stating that her mother was ill and due to have surgery soon. Rose immediately goes to the hospital to see her mother. Curtis was there when she arrives and proceed to tell Rose she did not have to come because he has it under control. “Curtis!”, shouts Rose, “this is not about you having it under control. I am here to see my mother and check on her health condition.” Curtis frowns at Rose before walking out the room. Rose took the day of her mother’s surgery off work. She also came to the hospital daily to check on her mother. When Grace was released from the hospital, Rose arranged for a nurse to come to the home daily to care for her mother.  One week after Rose’s mother was released from the hospital, she passed away due to heart failure. Curtis calls his siblings to come to the house. He informed them that their mother has died. When everyone arrives to the house, they asked where is Rose. Curtis states, he forgot to call her. Rose older sister gives her a call.  When Rose arrives at the home, the paramedic was leaving after dispatching the coroner. Rose asked the family, what happen? They all stated the same; Curtis called us saying mom was dead. Curtis refused to answer Rose questions; so, Rose decided to contact the nurse to get the details of care given to her mother in her last hours. Rose was informed, her brother Curtis had fired the nurse and that her mother was alone at home when she went into cardiac arrest. Rose was very upset but held her anger to take care of her mom’s body. She was also informed, by the family, that Curtis has arranged for a hole in the wall funeral home to pick up their mother’s body. Rose could not understand how this was possible. Their mom had just passed. Rose asked her family; do you not find this strange. The family did not want to dispute anything at this time; so, Rose went along with the family. Curtis told the family that he was beneficiary over their mom’s life insurance and that she only has a $5000 policy, but he would take care of everything. He only needed them to take care of her clothing and hair for burial as well as someone putting together the obituary.

    The next day, Rose receives a call from the mortuary. The mortician informed her that she was on speaker and that her brother Curtis was in his office and that they all were on a conference call with the insurance company. The mortician tells Rose the insurance company needs her permission for her brother and him to talk with the insurance company. When Rose asked why, the insurance lady introduce herself then stated that Rose was the beneficiary of their mom’s insurance policy. Rose was frozen with disbelief. She did not want to turn her mother’s burial into a battle field so she gave permission. The mortician thanks Rose and thought he had hung up with her. Rose listens as her brother Curtis spoke in an arrogant tone to the insurance lady; telling her “I told you I have permission to handle my mother’s burial arrangements.” Then he begins to argue with the lady about not paying him all the money on the policy he took out on his mother. The insurance lady explains that policy was too new and did not reach it maturity date but he could collect the $5000 rider insurance once the coroner’s report is submitted showing that his mom died of a heart attacked. Rose wanted to interject in the conversation by asking questions but she could not bring herself to argue with her brother at this time of grief she was feeling.

    Grace’s funeral was scheduled almost two weeks after the phone call with the insurance lady. Rose had to go to the mortuary to sign documents stating that it was okay for the insurance company to pay the mortuary directly. Two weeks after the funeral, Rose’s brother Curtis gave her a call and wanted to come talk with her in person. Rose agreed for him to come the next day. Rose did not feel right after hanging up the phone. She called Curtis back and demand to know why he needed to talk with her in person. Curtis claims he just found another life insurance policy for their mother and that she was the beneficiary. He proceeded to say that he drew up a contract for her to sign. What type of contract Rose asked? It’s a contract stating you agree to split the money from the life insurance with me and Junior. Rose declined to split the money and stated that she would use the money to put a head stone on her mother’s burial site then split the remaining money among their mom’s grandkids. Curtis did not agree and therefore refused to give Rose the life insurance policy or any information about the insurance company or the policy number. Rose contacted a lawyer who stated that Rose would have to take her brother to family court but it would be her word against his because she has no way of proving another policy exist without the insurance company name or the policy number. Also, she has no way of proving her brother has, in hand, another policy. Rose decided to pray and to let go for the sake of peace. She accepts the reality that her relationship with Curtis has been tarnished beyond repair.   A Thirst That Never Ceases   https://a.co/d5au6GYA

  • Crooks have all the answers; so, they think.  

    Crooks have all the answers; so, they think.  

    What to do when one of your family members is a crook with an influence on your child.

    Let’s talk about it…

    A mother with ten children raises her kids to become go getters. She instills in her six boys and four daughters the importance of not looking to receive a handout; but to be diligent in finding honest ways in providing for their needs. She lived and raised her kids by the phrase, “if a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat”. Her oldest five kids, which consist of three boys and 2 daughters were enrolled in government summer jobs every year starting at the age of fourteen until they graduated high school. Her seventh child Richard looked up to his older siblings, he desperately wanted to follow in their footsteps; however, Richard was too young for the government summer program. So, he got a paper route job at the age of 11. Richard would get up at 4:00 am in the morning to deliver newspapers before going to school and on the weekends. He used his older brother bike to make his deliveries. On weekends after delivering the newspapers, Richard would go to the local grocery stores to help customers carry groceries to their cars and return the shopping cart back to the store. The customers would tip Richard for his service. Richard never missed a weekend standing outside the grocery store helping customers. It did not matter if the temperature was below zero with snow piled sky high. Richard was faithful to his job, and just like his siblings, Richard used his money to help his mom feed and clothe him and his younger siblings. There were times, Richard would come home upset because some of the older boys in the neighborhood would rob him of his tips. Richard made a deal with his younger brother who was 18 months younger; yet, twice his size, to become his bodyguard for ¼ of his take home tips. Richard and Lawrence were now a team. Lawrence would hit rocks with his bat as Richard worked. Richard never had a problem with anyone robbing him again.

    As Richard grows older, not only did he learned great work ethics from his mother; but he also learned from the neighborhood guys who use to rob him. Richard was never without a pocket full of money. In high school he dressed in the latest fashion and would at times pick up food from the local mom and pop restaurant for his siblings. When asked by his older siblings, how did he make large amounts of money doing small, odd jobs, Richard never told. He would say, “mind your own business” as he shares the fruit of his labor with them; “just enjoy”, Richard would say. The mother of ten never question her kids on how they made their money after graduating from high school. She believed; they were following the same honest principles she had instilled in them as kids. Little did she know, all were except Richard the thief.

    After graduation, they all found professional skilled jobs. Some after attending colleges; others after receiving training through a government program. Richard had several different skilled jobs though-out the years. Although he never got marry or lived with anyone, him and his longtime girlfriend have a son together (Richard Jr.). Richard continued to live the good life. He bought a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, as well as several expense cars and motorcycles. Richard is known as the favorite uncle among his nieces and nephews. Regardless of how financially stable his siblings were, he would take his nieces and nephews school shopping for the latest name brand clothes; throwing them birthday parties; buying them the latest games and always giving them an allowance. Richard siblings often asked him how is that you make so much money on jobs that other people on the same type of job do not make. Richard has always been a fast talker. He would make you believe the sky is purple when you could clearly see it is blue. He would give them a fast talk explanation that did not make sense. Richard sister Barbara did not agree with her brother showering her kids with gifts that they did not earn. It went against the morals and values she was trying to instill in them. She wanted her kids to learn the same honest work ethics that she learned growing up. It was difficult for her to reward her kids for good grades and for doing their chores when her brother was secretly buying them expensive gifts that minimize the reward she gave to them. On the flip side, her brother secret gifts made it equally difficult for her to reprimand her kids for not having good grades or not doing their chores. Barbara would find new shoes under her kids’ bed, as well as new clothes hidden in the garage. One time she comes home from work and the kids had a new tv, a new stereo and a new DVD player in their room. She forbidden her brother to come to her home when she was not there. Richard ignored his sister requested and kept being the favorite uncle who shower her kids with whatever they wanted.

    By the time Richard was released from jail for the second time for grand theft, Barbara felt her kids were old enough to have a heart-to-heart talk with them regarding their uncle criminal activities. She felt her kids was old enough to handle the truth. She believed telling them the truth would help them understand why she did not want them accepting gifts and money from Richard especially without her knowledge and permission.

    Barbara three oldest kids understood and honor her wishes. However, her youngest child Chris looked up to his uncle with admiration. He slowly develops his uncle fast-talking thieving ways. Chris married a woman who was street wise. Chris loved impressing his wife with stories about his uncle. His wife and uncle became friends. Chris was happy to see his uncle and wife collaborating on how to increase money using street skills. He was proud of his small family’s street skills; he wore it like it was a badge of honor. He taught his son how to steal the kids arcade tickets as they were playing the games and were not aware that his son was dropping to the floor pretending to tie his shoe as he snatches their tickets coming out of the machine. It did not matter if these tickets only served a purpose of getting a cheap toy that did not last longer than a few days. Chris took prided in his son putting a candy bar in his pants before running out the store and getting away with it. He would intentionally buy his son pants a size bigger so that they would sag. Each time one of Chris’s siblings would ask him why his son wears sagging pants without a belt or why he doesn’t reprimand his son for stealing. Chris fast talking explanation always left them with a puzzle look on their face as they whisper, “why did I asked”.

    Richard and Chris were skilled in educating future thieves. Eventually, Richard was arrested and was sentenced to many years in prison. Chris, not having his mentor to cheer him on, slowly changed him from his life as a thief to finding a legitimate job as a shipping and receiving clerk in a warehouse.

    Hopefully, this story will encourage parents to be vigilant and aware of who their children idolize as mentors. As parents we must character inspect those who has a great influence in our children life. Because, if faith comes by hearing so will corruption. Our kids will mimic what they see and hear. Where do you want your kid’s morals and value to come from? When one’s hearing is from a bad source, so will their perception on the truth of life.

    https://thebookoflife.site

  • Roommates  

    Roommates  

    A trusted roommate hits on your man in front of you…. WTF!

    Let’s talk about it…

    Olivia’s divorce will be final in less than a month. She has no post-divorce plans. Now that the divorce hearing is over, she can divert her thoughts to where her and Jeffrey will live. Jeffrey is Olivia’s four-year-old son with her husband. Olivia was given full custody. Olivia’s husband was able to keep their family home in the divorce settlement and was given arranged visitation rights to their son.  The child support awarded to Olivia is not enough to support her and Jeffrey. Olivia remembers her mom recently renovated her three-car garage into a studio apartment. The apartment has a bathroom with two small rooms. One room has a wall-to-wall closet with twin bunk beds. The other room has a small sink with a four-tier mobile shelf for storage, a mini refrigerator, a double hot plate with a microwave. Olivia knew she had to react to her thoughts quickly before her mother moves her brother out the house into the studio apartment. She calls her mom. “Hi mom, how are things going?” “Hello Olivia, all is well. How are you and Jefferey?”. “Well mom, that’s why I am calling you. Jeffrey and I will need a place to stay after the divorce is final. I was hoping that you haven’t rented out your studio apartment yet.” “Olivia, you called as I was heading to the den to talk with Junior about moving into the studio. I guess your dad and I can tolerate Junior living a little longer in the house so that you and Jefferey can move into the studio.” “Thanks mom, it will only be a temporary short stay until I can find a job and an affordable place for me and Jeffrey.” “It’s okay dear, I understand; replied, Olivia’s mom”.

    Soon after moving in the studio, Olivia enrolled Jefferey into an all-day childcare school near her mom’s home. She begins her search for a job. She finds a job working for a corporation in the order processing department. Three months after working Olivia was able to move into a one-bedroom apartment near her mother. Although Olivia and Jefferey had to share the bedroom, she was so proud to have her own place. Her paycheck combined with the child support was barely enough to cover her expenses. She did not have room for any expense outside of her normal monthly expenditures. Which meant, on weekends, Jefferey and Olivia took advantage of activities that were free. They would spend time at the park, beach, library, free exhibitions, and museums. Olivia’s co-worker Janice works in the billing department. Janice have noticed Olivia sitting alone at lunch for months and decided to introduced herself. Olivia and Janice become close work friends. Everyday, as they ate lunch, Janice and Olivia would spend an hour talking about everything under the sun. They would talk about their accomplishments, disappointments, kids, ex-husbands, current events and of course their jobs. Janice was also a divorce mother with one child. She lived in a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment. Unlike Olivia, Janice court appointed child support from her ex-husband was a substantial amount that covers all her expenditures including entertainment, shopping, and eating out on occasions. Janice would often invite Olivia to an event or to hang out with her and her son. Olivia always declined stating her and Jefferey have plans. One day, Janice gives Olivia an invitation to her son’s birthday party. She expressed to Olivia, “the party is a month from this coming Saturday, so no excuses, you have to come states Janice”. Olivia takes the invitation; smile, then nods her head in agreement with Janice statement. For the next month, Olivia was worry about the party. She knows that she could not afford to buy a birthday gift. She did not want to be the only parent showing up with her child and no gift. Olivia finally gains the courage to let Janice know that she could not afford to buy a gift and for this reason, she did not want to embarrass her son or herself by showing up empty handed. Olivia explained to Janice that her paycheck combined with her child support barely covers their expenses. Janice told Olivia she understands and that she wanted her to come anyway. She promises Olivia, when her son opens his gifts, they would not announce publicly who the gift was from. Instead, they would acknowledge in private with a thank you card. Olivia felt better and decided to come.

    The next week after the birthday party, Janice asked Olivia during lunch if she could call her that evening around 7 pm to talk about a matter that was pressing on her heart but was not for public ears. Sure, states Olivia. I am looking forward to your call. As promise, Janice calls Olivia at 7 pm. She started the conversation by saying; “I have known you long enough to skip the small talk, and I hope you do not see my suggestion as a sympathy offer. I would like to know if you would like to roommate with me and my son. As you know, I have a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment. Our sons are young enough to share a room with us. I will charge you one third of what you are paying in rent now. This way you can save your money or just have a little extra to do somethings that you could not do before. It would not hurt my feelings if you declined this offer. We will continue to be friends. It would be a joy for me and my son to have you and Jeffrey as our roommate.” Olivia asked if she could think about it for a couple of day. Sure, states Janice. A week after the phone call, Olivia agreed to become Janice roommate. She asked Janice if they could put their agreement in writing. The two ladies got together after work to detail the logistics of the arrangement. Each person signed the agreement. Janice and Olivia enjoyed being roommates. They were able to take the kids together to amusement parks, movies, and weekend cruises. Everything was going well until Olivia started dating a supervisor who worked in the warehouse at the company. Olivia noticed that each time she mentions David’s name, Janice would frown or become agitated. Janice would never engage in a conversation about David. She wouldn’t say his name. Olivia was very confused as to why Janice was behaving so strangely about David. Olivia thought to herself, Janice cannot be jealous of me dating because she is also dating someone. She never mentions if David have crossed her in a bad way at work in the past. Or if she knows some disturbing information about him. Olivia did not know how to approach Janice about the situation. She did not want things to become worse or for it to appear she was accusing Janice of some wrongdoing. Olivia thought she would remain silent about the situation until the right moment presences itself. Friday morning, Janice informed Olivia that her and her son would be spending the weekend at her mom’s house. She explained that their clothes were pack, and they would be going to her mom’s immediately after work. Okay states Olivia, enjoy your visit. Olivia thought to herself, what am I going to do this weekend. Mom is picking up Jeffrey from school to spend the weekend with her and his cousins. Well, I will find something to do; maybe I will treat myself to a day at the spa. After work, as Olivia is heading to her car, she is approached by David. “Hey you, shout David; it has been a busy day and a long work week for me. I haven’t had much time to talk with you this week. I want you to know that I have been thinking about you all week. I’m hoping we can do something together this weekend.” Olivia tells David that she will have the apartment to herself this weekend. She invited him over for dinner and a movie. David asked Olivia, “what would your roommate say about me coming over for dinner?” Olivia explains to David why it wouldn’t be a problem because she will be home alone. As promise, David shows up at 7:00pm with a bottle of wine. Olivia prepared crescent rolls, grilled chicken breast with asparagus and scallop potatoes. After eating dinner, David, and Olivia heads to the living room to talk and drink wine before turning on the movie. Just as they sat on the couch, Janice walks in the apartment alone. They were in shock. No one knew what to say, they all stared at each other. Janice broke the staring by saying I forgot something. She goes into her bedroom. Within five minutes she comes out wearing a black sexy negligee. She looks directly at David, then say in a sexy tone, “this is what you turned down; this is what your hard to catch ass have been missing.” In order to not disrespect Olivia by looking at Janice, David drops his head. Olivia was speechless, she had no clue what was going on. She did not know how to address her friend. She felt the pain in the words Janice spoke. Now she knows why Janice had changed towards her after finding out she was dating David. Janice runs back in her room crying. She changes her clothes and leaves without saying anything. David states to Olivia; “let me apologize to you for not letting you know about your roommate. When I first start working at the company a year before you came Janice would express interest in me. Her expressions of interest were a turn off for me. I thought she would be a cool person to hang out with, so I agree to exchange phone numbers with her. She started leaving provocative explicit message on my phone as well as pictures. Apparently, she thought this would excite me, causing me to want her. Had she conduct herself in a lady like manner, her and I would probably be together because she is a beautiful lady. Her aggressive explicit behavior made her look ugly in my eyes. I am not like most men. I am not attracted to that kind of behavior. She became angry when I expressed this to her.

    Olivia was not sure how to approach Janice when she returned home Sunday evening. Both ladies remained silent as they avoid being in the same room as the other one. Olivia asked Janice to have lunch with her on Monday, she felt that work would be a safe place to talk about what happen without each person becoming belligerent. At lunch, Olivia asked Janice for an explanation for her actions with David. Janice refused to talk about it. Olivia ends their lunch meeting by stating to Janice; “your none compliances to our roommate agreement and refusal to provide an explanation for your actions puts me in an uncomfortable position. Therefore, I will be looking for a new place to live. I greatly appreciate you for inviting me to become your roommate and for being a good friend up until this event with David. I hope and pray that one day we can become close friends again.”

    What do you think Olivia should have done? How do you think she should have handled the situation when Janice came out the room in a sexy negligee? https://thebookoflife.site

  • Should I Stay? Or, Should I Go?

    Should I Stay? Or, Should I Go?

    What do you do when the representative you fell in love with changes soon after he marries you?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Sabrina, approaching 35 years of age in a couple of weeks, begins to reflect on her life. She thought out loud, to herself, in the privacy of her home. Yes, Sabrina was talking to herself out loud. She needed to hear herself think out loud. It made her thoughts resonated with an urgency that brought actions. Sabrina words pierced her spirit as she heard herself speak them out loud, “I have spent all my life hoping, praying, and looking for a husband. I have catered to the men I dated hoping they would see me as someone they wanted to marry. I have provided shelter, food, clothing, sex, and financial stability. Only to be left alone when I pressure them for a more committed relationship. I do not understand what I have been doing wrong? I am pretty, I am sexy, I can cook, I have a job and I do not ask them for anything. I do not get upset when they come home late, and I love sports. So, what am I doing wrong? Why do men leave when I bring up marriage after a year of being in a relationship with me?”

    Sabrina decided she did not want to spend another birthday alone with her thoughts. She invited a few of her closes girl friends over to celebrate with her. She had a number of games setup to play, a menu of all her favor finger foods and a variety of drinks. Sabrina’s favor cocktail is called Tom Collins. After several hours of eating, drinking and playing games. Sabrina decided to bring the night to a close with one final game called Speak on It. The ladies were asked to take turns speaking on anything that was weighting heavy on their hearts. After the person spoke on it, the other ladies were instructed to provide up lifting encouraging remarks. Sabrina spoke on dating men who doesn’t want to marry her. The women encourage Sabrina to live a life of celibacy for six months in order to clear her emotions so that she can clearly evaluate why the men she dates isn’t looking to marry her. To commemorate her new commitment to celibacy, Sabrina removed her hair weave and decided to go natural. She asked her hair stylist for a short hair cut that complimented the shape of face and enhances her natural curls.

    Sabrina was enjoying her new commitment. After two years of not catering to a man, she decided to celebrate her 37th birthday by taking a trip to the Bahamas. While shopping in one of the local novelty stores in Nassau for souvenirs, Sabrina noticed this man in a blue uniform staring at her. He wasn’t close enough for her to see the patch or badge on his uniform. After following her around the store, she decided to approach him. “Excuse me sir, but do I look like someone you know? I’m sorry stated the man, your natural beauty has me mesmerize. I didn’t realize I was staring. By the way my name is Jack. As you can see from the uniform, I am a US coast guard. I am here for a week to assist the Bahamian authorities. What is your name?” Sabrina and Jack stood in the store talking for 30 minutes. Sabrina learns that Jack also lives in Florida. Feeling comfortable talking with him, Sabrina gives Jack her phone number after he asked. Sabrina and Jack talked on the phone every day for two months before going on a date. She couldn’t believe she had opened her thoughts up to dating again. She made a vow to stay committed to her celibacy.

    Jack was perfect. He open doors, pulled her chair out before she sat, shower her with gifts. Sabrina loved her new serene life and her relationship with Jack. She never engaged him in a conversation about marriage. After two years of dating, Jack asked Sabrina to marry him. Sabrina was finally planning the fairy tale wedding she has always dream of having. Sabrina couldn’t believe how blessed she was to have Jack as her husband. Five months after the honeymoon, Sabrina notice that Jack was slowly changing. He stops opening doors for her. He insists that it was her job to cook and clean the house. She did not mind doing these things but had noticed that Jack was intentionally messing up the home so that she would have to clean up behind him. He started demanding that everything is divided 50 percent, food as well as bills. If a four pack of muffins were purchased, she was only allowed to eat two; it did not matter if he had no plans of eating his two; which often was thrown in the trash weeks after purchase. At times Jack was deceitful about the cost of items, causing Sabrina to pay 60 to 70 perfects of the cost. Jack behavior towards Sabrina had changed drastically, he begins to talk to her like she was unintelligent; often stating “let me break it down for you; let me speak in a language you understand; or let me speak it slowly so maybe you can catch on to what I am saying.”

    Sabrina began to despise Jack. She no longer loved her husband and couldn’t bring herself to have sex with him any longer. She noticed Jack was constantly texting on his phone and stepping outback to talk in private. She never questions him because she no longer cared. Sabrina and Jack’s debt appeared to be the only thing that was holding them together. They had a house, cars, and credit cards in both their names.

    Because Jack and Sabrina had built a life together and both are now in their early forties, she often wonder, should I stay or should I go. In order to find the answer to her inner question, Sabrina would spend 30 minutes each day in a quiet-peaceful place to meditate. She is determined to protect her peace and sanity. Sabrina realizes, as a human being not having supernatural spiritual insight 24/7, she was destined to experience occasional life events that would be unforeseen prior to the experience. Also, she understands there is no way she can prevent or predict heart break, disappointment, or the actions of other people. She knows that some events, as well as people in her life are seasonal. Seasonal relationships are not long-haul relationships; they are only for a set period of time. She understands that she is in control of how the good and bad of life events affects her as a person. She is fully aware each experience can either break her or make her stronger and wiser. She understands, all things work together for the good of those who believe it would, despite how detrimental or heartbreaking the experience. Mediating has bought Sabrina to a place of inner peace and hope regardless of what is going on around her or in her life.

    What do you think Sabrina should do? Should she stay or should she go?

    https://thebookoflife.site

  • When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. What about the woman?

    When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. What about the woman?

    What does the woman receive when she is found? Is it also a good thing?

    Let’s talk about it.

    Stephanie Dunbar is an attracted thirty-five-year-old divorced mother with two kids. Stephanie decided to enter back into the dating world six months after her divorce was final. Trina, Stephanie’s best friend since high school tells her about this popular dating site. Following Trina’s instructions, Stephanie create an account; she uploads pictures that shows off her curvy figure. As she begins to browse the site, she couldn’t believe the large number of single, good looking, employed men that were available and willing to be visible on this dating site. She felt like a kid in a candy store without restrictions. Stephanie decided to start by showing interest in a person whose profile capture her attention. She couldn’t believe, within 2 days, ten men showed interest in meeting her. She asked Trina, “what shall I do”? Trina advised Stephanie to setup a public meeting on different days for each person she was interested in getting to know.  As instructed, Stephanie selected 5 of the 10 men to meet at the local Starbucks store 1 mile from her home. For five conservative days, Stephanie arrives 15 minutes prior to the set time. She sat in her car watching people go in and out of Starbucks until it was time for her to go in. On each occasion Stephanie wasn’t sure if her date had shown up because no one entering the store looked like the profile picture on the dating site. Also, on each occasion, as Stephanie enters the store, someone waves her over in their direction. On all occasions, the person waving is sitting at a two-seat table, wearing a huge Kool-Aid smile on their face, while sipping on a drink. Not sure how to handle the situation, Stephanie approaches the person with the same pre-thought introduction. “Hi, I am Stephanie, are you…” The waver would interrupt her question by stating his name.  As Stephanie sits, she has the same thought with each person, “Well, he looks like he can be related to the person on the profile; but definitely is not a perfect match to the profile picture posted online.”

    Stephanie soon learns the similarity in each man. After introducing herself, she was greeted with “Well, well, well, Ms. Stephanie, you look as good in person as your profile pictures. Stephanie couldn’t help but think to herself, I wish I could say the same about you. But instead of speaking her thoughts she asked each person their name again, which in-turn wiped the smile off their face with each making similar statements. “What? You been on so many dates, you can’t remember which person you are meeting with today?” Or, “you have a short memory, did you not hear me give you my name after your introduction?” “Yes, Stephanie would reply, it’s because you do not look like your profile picture.” In an offensive tone, each man replied with; “Well, that picture was taken ten years ago; however, everybody says I still look the same.” Disappointed, Stephanie decided to give the person no more than 10 minutes of her time. Stephanie soon learns the similarity in standards of each man. No one pulled the chair out for her to sit, or offer to buy her a drink. Each answered the one question she asked the same. Stephanie asked each man, “what are you looking for in a mate?” These men were straight forward in what they expected from the woman in their life. They all wanted a woman who would have their back no matter what comes up. A woman who could bring 50 percent to the table in financials; yet be able to hold down their household 100 percent should he become in-between jobs. This woman would have to keep her “wifey duties” which were defined as: sex, appearance, cooking, cleaning, washing, running his errands and taking care of the kids. 

    As each man spoked their expectation, Stephanie couldn’t help but to divert her thoughts to her divorce and the reason given by her ex-husband as to why he cheated on her for the last five years of their seven-year marriage. He claims, she no longer had his back and had stop performing her “wifey duties”.  Yet, he refused to give her a divorce while he was employed. As soon as he loses his job, he asked for alimony in exchange for agreeing to the divorce. Of course, the judge was not in favor of Mr. Dunbar demanding alimony in exchange for agreeing to the divorce.  The judge ordered child support to be paid to Ms. Dunbar as soon as Mr. Dunbar returns to work.

    Stephanie realized the only good thing she received from her marriage is her kids and wisdom on what not to settle for just to be in a relationship. She was determined to not repeat history which in-turn caused Stephanie to decline a second date after each man proudly finish defining their expectations.

    In spite of her experiences, Stephanie refused to believe that all men were the same; however, she knew her acceptance of living up to her husband’s expectation had caused her aura to become toxic; thus, causing her to attract the same type of men. Stephanie understood her aura is a magnetic energy that attracts like energy of its kind. Which is known to most as kindred spirits.  She knew in order to align her energy with her heart desires, she had to balance her charkas, which in-turn would change her aura. She started each day with prayer and meditation, visualizing her values and worth matching her heart’s desires. She visualizes her aura drawing her heart’s desires to her. Two weeks after daily praying and meditating, people begin to complement Stephanie; often stating she has a glow and a bubbly, pleasant spirit. Three months after daily praying and meditating, Stephanie meet Dave at a charity fundraiser. On their first date, Dave spoke of being reborn through the renewing of his mind. When Stephanie asked him to elaborate. Dave replied with. “I, now understand my mate is not my slave; we are one. She is my equal because she is flesh of my flesh; and bone of my bones. I am to cherish her, honor her; respect her; protect her and provide for her. Although we are one, she has her own identity and if she decides to work outside the home, as her equal partner, I am to share in the household chores, cooking and raising the kids.” A year after Stephanie and Dave first date, they were joined together in marriage. Dave honored his words in action.

    Hopefully this short story helps in providing hope to your story. Please do not allow the toxicity of a bad experience dictate your worth; your value; or your future. Gift yourself with love. Take 15 minutes each day to vision your worth and value, in its highest esteem. Vision love pouring out of your spirit. Vision your love as strength; not to be taken advantage of in a negative way; not to be abused or misused. Walk in your strength. He that finds you, will see the beauty of your strength and will honor you as his queen not his slave.

    https://thebookoflife.site

  • Old School Player

    Old School Player

    Martha and Robert have been married for 65 years. Both in their mid-eighties have learned to master the acceptance of each other for better or worse. Robert started courting Martha during their senior year in high school. For those younger than forty, courting is the same as dating. At the age of eighteen, after Martha became pregnant, the two got married upon the strong request of their parents in conjunction with the click of Martha’s father’s shot gun. Martha and Robert liked each other but was not in love with each other. They got married in the era of “What Love Got to Do with It;” “It’s a Family Thing”. Together Martha and Robert have 8 kids; 12 grand kids and 5 great-grand kids. Robert has 2 sons with his long-time girlfriend Bertha. Bertha and Robert have 4 grand kids and 2 great-grand kids.

    Although Martha’s navigation through life has been in alignment with the changes of time, Robert hasn’t been able to move pass the late 60s, early 70s era. He no longer drives; yet he still has his 1970 deuce and a quarter also known as an Electra 225 parked in the garage. Robert would drive his power blue Convertible Buick Cadillac up and down the street back in the early 70s going nowhere. Sometimes Bertha would be in the passenger seat feeling like a queen, not caring that he never invited her to his home or asked her to marry him. In Robert youthful days, he worked in a factory assembling cars. At night, he worked as a janitor cleaning office building. Robert’s paycheck as an assembling worker went to Martha for their household. He received a five dollar per week allowance. Half his paycheck as a janitor went to Bertha the other half cover his play toys such as his Electra 225. Martha always knew about Bertha but did not care as long as Robert bought his check home to her. Martha protected their kids from Robert’s long-time affair with Bertha by moving her family to the other side of town.  Martha was a dignified church going women. She raised their kids to respect elders and to value education. Martha and Robert kids all graduated from a two-year community college; some went further to graduate from a four-year university. Each married their long-time mate; found professional jobs in corporate American and sent their kids to college.

    On the other side of the fence, Bertha worked full time in a cleaners and part time in a bar as a cocktail girl. Bertha kids barely finish high school. Robert Sr. being 15 years older than Bertha, loved her high energy party girl attitude. Bertha always lived in the now; not worrying about tomorrow. She raised her two sons to live in the now. Both sons did not move out of their mom’s home until they were in their mid-thirties. From their mom’s house they moved into their girlfriend’s home. Neither of the sons married their girlfriends. Bertha eldest son, Robert Jr daughter Porsha, who is now 35 years of age, gave birth 17 years ago to Robert Jr’s first grandchild. Porsha named her daughter Mercedes. Mercedes is graduating from high school. In celebration of Mercedes’ graduation her mom Porsha is throwing her a graduation party and would like for all generations of family to be present. The party will be held in the backyard of Robert Jr gated duplex apartment building. Porsha fixes the backyard up with rental chairs and tables. White Christmas lights streaming around the top of the table’s umbrellas. She set up a bar table for anyone who would like to purchase an alcoholic drink. Her cousin Capone will DJ the latest hits. Bertha is catering the food. She has been frying chicken and making spaghetti all day. Robert Jr is responsible for picking up the potato salad, dinner rolls, and cake from the local supermarket. Punch made of Hi-C and 7-up will be served to all under 21.

    It’s party time, Robert Sr shows up in a power blue, three-piece polyester, bell bottom suit. His 1970 white ruffle tuxedo shirt matches his white patent leather alligator shoes. After everyone arrives, Porsha takes the mike from Capone to acknowledge and congratulate her daughter Mercedes. Everyone yodels their congratulations in unison, Porsha yells “okay DJ, let’s get this party started”. Everyone was enjoying themselves eating, drinking, and dancing. Robert Sr shows off a stack of one-dollar bills to Mercedes’s friends’ moms. Robert Sr invites the moms, to play a game. The game is call, “if you are single and you know it, raise your hand”. One mom asked the purpose of the game. Robert Sr. proudly says with a grin on his face, a monetary price is given to the raised hands. A couple of women raised their hand. Robert Sr. hands each mom whose hand was raise, five single dollar bills. The moms laughed as they walked off to mingle with the guess. Robert Sr. begins to flirt with the women who had raised their hand. From afar, Betty, one of Mercedes’s friends’ grandmothers was watching Robert Sr. She could not believe what she was seeing. Her thoughts were racing a mile per minute. She thought to herself, “why is Mother Martha’s husband at this graduation party? I know he never officially joined the church; however, he would come on occasions with his wife. Mother Martha, is a dedicated servant of the Lord who served as president over the Mother’s Board for 15 years before she retired.” As her friend, I am going to get to the bottom of why Robert Sr. is at this party making a fool of himself; and as a good Christian friend, I will report what I find out to Mother Martha.”

    Betty asked one of the ladies who received 5 dollars. Why they raised their hands and why was she given money? She also wanted to know who invited the man giving away the money. Betty almost fell to her knees as the lady replied, he is Mercedes’ great-grand-father. Betty was so startled by the information she became weak; the lady grabs Betty by the arm so that she would not fall. After helping her to a sit she gave her a drink of punch. As Betty sat, her thoughts raced about Mercedes’s family. She thought to herself; “my granddaughter told me that Mercedes’s mom name is Porsha and Porsha’s father name is Robert Jr.” Betty begins to cough like she was choking on punch. Someone asked her if she was okay. “Yes”, replied Betty. No! thought Betty. Mother Martha’s husband cannot be the father of Robert Jr. Betty had to find out for sure before she took this information to Mother Martha. After regaining her strength, Betty approaches Robert Jr. “Hi Robert, I would like to thank you for inviting my grand-daughter. Although my grand-daughter is three years older than Mercedes, they are good friends. The party is really nice. Someone told me your mom is here. Is your dad here also? Yes, replied Robert Jr.; let me introduce you to my parents. Robert Jr. calls over his mom Bertha and his dad. “Mom, dad, I would like for you to meet Ms. Betty. She is one of Mercedes’s friends’ grandmothers.” Betty stares at Robert Sr. as she says hello, then proceed to say to Robert Sr directly. “You can be my friend husband identical twin.” “Oh yeah”, replied Robert. What is your friend husband’s name? Maybe we are related.” Betty replied, “His name is Robert”. Robert almost choked as he stared at Betty trying to remember if he seen her somewhere. Betty continued to talk. “My friend Martha and her husband Robert have been married for 65 years and have 8 kids together; one of whom is also name Robert Jr. I’m sure it’s not you because my friend Martha’s husband uses to worked in a factory assembling cars during the day. He had a second job at night cleaning office building as a janitor. For years, he drove a power blue Convertible Electra 225 Buick Cadillac. Bertha begins to beat on Robert Sr chest. while shouting, “all these years, I wonder why you never asked me to marry. Now I know it’s because you were already married with kids. How could you do this to me? Robert Jr, in shock, pulled his mom off his dad. He was speechless.

    Why do you think Bertha never asked Robert Sr any questions about his life through-out the years of them dating? Why do you think she is so surprised about Robert Sr being married with kids? Do you think Ms. Betty is wrong in how she handled the situation?

    https://thebookoflife.site