The elaboration of relationship connections

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Judy Owens is a 2025 award winning author who is an avid reader of all genres of books. Her book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” has won an International Impact Book Award in the category of “Life Experience – Real Life Accounts”. In January 2026 her autobiography titled “The Secret Place: Life Stories of Healing and Hope was published. The books are sold on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Ingram. For more information refer to website: https://bookofrelationship.com
  • Let’s Straighten it Out

    Let’s Straighten it Out

    You broke the boy code now you need to Holla at your boy.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Dwight and Gerald have been friends since their freshman year in high school. Both played high school sports. Dwight acquired a love for baseball from his father Ben. Ben once dreamed of playing professional baseball. However, Ben’s dreams were shatter when Dwight’s grandfather became ill. As the oldest child, Ben had to drop out of high school to work odd jobs to support his parents and siblings. Ben was working in the automotive industry when he married Dwight’s mother. Dwight and his father frequently attend the White Sox baseball games in their hometown, Chicago. During Dwight’s high school years, Ben influences him to play baseball in hope of his son becoming a professional baseball player. Dwight love baseball; however, he did not love it as a career choice. He did not want to become a professional athlete.

    In high school, Dwight’s friend Gerald was appointed captain of the basketball team. Gerald and his coach observed Dwight’s skills on the field during baseball season. They felt he would be a great asset as a basketball player because of his height, his upper body strength on hitting the ball out of the park and his speed in running. Gerald and his coach tried to recruit Dwight. Although Dwight declined the offer, him and Gerald remained friends. Both were lead players in their field. Throughout school, the girls would chase after them. On several occasions they found themselves romantically involved with the same girls. They decided to come up with a boy code in dating girls within their circle. They created a dating chart similar to a family tree. Dwight name was on the left side of the chart and beneath his name were three color categories. A Girl name listed in the red category means the relationship is currently or once was serious and therefore is off limit to Gerald dating. A Girl name listed in the yellow category means the relationship was romantically fun but not serious. It’s okay if Gerald chooses to date a girl listed in the yellow category. A Girl name listed in green category means it is a talking only relationship with the potential to becoming something more. Gerald is not allowed to talk to a girl in the green category under Dwight’s name because the relationship can potentially become a red category. Gerald name was on the right side of the chart with the same three-color categories beneath his name; having the same meaning as on Dwight’s side of the chart. Throughout high school the dating chart worked well for them both.

    As the two friends were approaching graduation; they vowed to remain friends and continued to follow the rules of the dating chart they created. Gerald was drafted to play professional basketball. Because of Dwight’s fascination with computers and its infrastructure he enrolled into a trade tech college to study Information Technology (I.T.). During the first week of attending college, Dwight was amazed to see the same five female students enrolled in many of his courses. He assumed that Information Technology was a predominant trade for men only. What would make a woman select this trade, thought Dwight. Anyhow, it’s good to have someone other than men to look at during class. Dwight was very impress with his classmate Stephanie. She was a very active student who engage in answering the instructor questions and also asking many questions for clarity purposes. Also, he was very impress with her knowledge and ability to retain what she was learning. Dwight decided he wanted to get to know Stephanie on a personal basis. He was attracted to her beauty and to her intelligence. She would be a good person to study with thought Dwight. One day, after attending the last class of the day with Stephanie, Dwight decides to approach her: “Excuse me, your name is Stephanie; correct?” Yes, that is correct; states Stephanie with a smile on her face. She thought Dwight’s approach was cute. “I noticed you and I have several classes together; therefore, I am wondering if you are looking for a study partner or someone in class who is willing to share notes you missed in your absence.” Stephanie paused for a brief moment before speaking. “Well, I’m not looking for a study partner, I do pretty well on my own; however, it would be good to have someone to share notes in case one of us is absence. Would you like to exchange email address for the purpose of sharing notes, asked Stephanie?” Sure, that would be great states Dwight. After exchanging email addresses, Stephanie thought for a quick minute then tells Dwight; if you feel having a study partner would bring clarity to certain topics discussed in class, I would be happy to go over the class lecture notes with you.” Dwight was happy to hear Stephanie except his offer. Although she did not agree to a study routine; at least she agreed to discuss complicated topics with him. “Sound good, states Dwight.

    Two weeks after Dwight and Stephanie agree to discuss complicated topics together, Dwight emailed Stephanie, on a Wednesday, asking if they can meet at the library on Saturday to discuss the network infrastructure. He needed clarity on routers, switches, hubs, repeaters, gateways, bridges, and modems hardware. In taking notes, he believed he crisscross the information provided by the teacher when describing the functions of each hardware. Stephanie agreed to meet with Dwight at one pm. Both were impressed with each other promptness. Dwight brought his A game; he came to work. The two were very engaged as they seriously focus their discussions on the infrastructure topic. They were able to learn from each other. Stephanie was impressed with Dwight knowledge and understanding of the material. She feels Dwight is a person who second guess himself, causing him to question what he knows. Studying with him gave her a new prospective as to who he is as a person. She was happy she accepted his offer to study together. They both couldn’t believe five hours had passed so swiftly. Dwight offers to buy Stephanie dinner. He lets her know that he is not trying to come between her and any significant other she might have in her life; therefore, he offers to pay for takeout or have Uber eats deliver food to her home or take her to a restaurant of her choice. Stephanie giggle; she felt Dwight was being considerate and polite in the way he worded buying her dinner. She tells him; it’s okay, we can go have dinner together; she states, any restaurant is good with me. Stephanie’s giggle caused Dwight to giggle. Dwight chose a restaurant near the library that specialized in Seafood, Chicken, and Steak. Stephanie left her car at the library. She felt it would be safe because the library stays open 24 hours on Wednesday through Saturdays. She rode with Dwight to the restaurant. The first thing Stephanie notice was that Dwight was a gentleman. He opens doors for her, made sure she was secured in her seatbelt before driving off, and he pulled out her chair at the restaurant for her to sit. In addition to enjoying the delicious food, they enjoyed each other company. They talked for hours, leaving the restaurant at 10:30pm. As Dwight drives Stephanie back to the library to get her car, he asked if they could do this again in the near future. Stephanie replied with yes. Dwight asked Stephanie if she would like for him to follow her home to make sure she was safe. Stephanie stated that she only lived fifteen minutes from the library. She promised to text him once she was secured in her home. Stephanie and Dwight became very close; studying together and going out to dinner together. The relationship remained platonic for the entire school year. Once finals were over and they both received passing grades, the relationship became intimate after a night of celebrating.

    At the start of summer break, Gerald returned home for a visit to spend time with family and friends before basketball training begin for the next season. His parents rent a hall and throw him an extravagant party. Approximately three hundred people received an invited with a plus one. Because Gerald was well known as one of the lead players on his basketball team, his parents made sure the venue was well secured with security. Each person who RSVP with their plus one, name and picture was entered into a database. The database was used at the venue entrance to match name and picture ID of each person attending before entering the venue. Stephanie attends as Dwight’s plus one. She loves basketball and was excited about meeting her favorite team rookie player Gerald. She was surprised that Dwight had not told her that he is friends with a star basketball player before inviting her as his plus one. Gerald and Dwight were happy to see each other. They embraced in a man’s hug for a few seconds. Stephanie could see based on their greeting they were best of friends. She was shaking in her shoes when Dwight introduced her to Gerald. She kept grinning and expressing that she was a big fan of his. Dwight being one of Gerald’s closes friends was assigned to sit at his family table with Stephanie. Gerald was mesmerized by Stephanie beauty. He asked his friend to take a walk with him. Dwight asked Stephanie if she would be okay alone for a few minutes while he walk with Gerald to the other side of the room. Stephanie replied yes, I would be fine. She watched the two friends walk away and wonder what that was all about. Gerald complimented Dwight on his grown man taste in women. He tells Dwight, she is nothing like what we use to date in high school. No, she isn’t replied, Dwight. So, tell me, states Gerald; how serious are you two according to our high school dating chart. Man, she is a red in my book, state Dwight. Although I haven’t asked her to be my exclusive girlfriend, it has been her and I and no one else for nearly a year. Red tells me you two are sexually intimate replied, Gerald. Yeah man, we are, Dwight states with a grin on his face. Dwight asks Gerald was he dating anyone. Naw man, it’s too soon in the game for me to be seriously dating. The women are lined up for ball players. When I am finish playing the field, I will find someone special to settle down with. In the meantime; game on. Both begin to laugh at Gerald’s statement. Well man, states Gerald it’s good seeing you. I hope you don’t mind me asking your girl to dance. I would like to get to know who my friend is smitten over. No harm in dancing states Dwight. Both heads back to the table. After dinner was serve and eaten everyone being to enjoy dessert with drinks and dancing. Gerald comes around the table and asks Stephanie to dance. Stephanie looks at Dwight for approval. Dwight knobs his head. They both dance to a fast song. As they were walking off the dance floor, a slow song is played. Gerald re-grabs Stephanie by the hand then leads her back to the dance floor. Dwight notice that Gerald is doing a lot of talking in Stephanie ear as they slow dance. Dwight was happy when the song end. As the party was coming to an end. Dwight asked Stephanie if she was ready to go. At this point approximately seventy-five people was left at the venue and appeared to be collecting their things to leave. Stephanie stated she was ready to leave. Dwight excused himself to go to the men’s room before the long ride home. Stephanie had just come back from the women’s room and expressed to Dwight that she will be sitting right there waiting for him. Gerald sees his opening as Dwight walks away. He goes over to Stephanie and tells her that he wants to plan a surprise birthday party for his friend in the next two months. He stated that he would need help in planning the surprised. He asked her if she could assist in bringing him to the surprise party.  Stephanie agrees to assist. Gerald and Stephanie exchanged phone numbers before Dwight returned from the bathroom.

    Gerald started calling Stephanie on a daily basis talking to her about the party as well as personal topics. Stephanie was so excited about talking to a star basketball player like they were old friends, she wanted to shout it to the world. But she couldn’t in fear of Dwight finding out. She knew it would ruin the surprise if he found out. Stephanie felt the only person who would keep a secret would be her best friend, Tracy. Stephanie and Tracy meet every Thursday at 4:00pm for a game of tennis. Afterwards they usually go to the local café for dinner. During dinner, Stephanie tells Tracy about meeting Dwight’s best friend Gerald. She explains to Tracy about Gerald needing her help in planning a surprise party for Dwight. She also tells Tracy about her and Gerald’s conversations. Tracy tells Stephanie to be careful with Gerald, because she believes he likes her or simply wants to sleep with her. Why would you say that states Stephanie? The fact that you have to ask me why I would say that, leads me to believe he already has your attention. No man should be talking to his best friend girlfriend about the personal things you two talk about. It’s clearly a setup. Stephanie, wish she had never said anything to Tracy. She felt Tracy was hating because a star basketball player was talking to her.

    Two days after having dinner with Tracy, Stephanie receives a call from Gerald. He asked Stephanie if he could store some gifts for Dwight at her home. Gerald claims he did not feel comfortable with having expensive gifts in his room at the hotel. Stephanie thought it sound strange. She asked Gerald why he wasn’t staying at his parents’ home. Gerald stated that he did not want to draw attention to his parents’ home. Therefore, he decided to stay in a suite at a five-star hotel. Stephanie felt relax with his explanation. As Stephanie was giving her address to Gerald, he interrupted her by saying; “no wait, I don’t want to take a chance in running into Dwight at your place. Can you come to the hotel around 7:00pm today? Stephanie thought to herself, I guess it would be okay. It’s a public place. Okay, replied Stephanie. I will see you at 7:00pm. Five minutes after Stephanie arrives at Gerald’s suite, room service knocks on the door. Gerald tells Stephanie that he took the liberty of ordering dinner for them both. He states, it’s the least he can do for her coming to pick up Dwight’s gifts. Stephanie could see two small gift-wrapped boxes sitting on the table. She thought to herself, what could be in those boxes, they are so small. Her thoughts were interrupted by Gerald asking her would she have dinner with him. Sure, states Stephanie, I’m here so I might as well join you for dinner. Gerald pours Stephanie a spritzer to drink with her dinner. Gerald had ordered lobster tails, sauteed shrimp with asparagus and baby red potatoes. After dinner, Gerald poured Stephanie another spritzer. Stephanie begins to feel a little woozy. She couldn’t understand why two drinks would cause her to feel so woozy. Stephanie declined a third drink. She thought if she sits for a few minutes, she would be okay to drive. She remembers Gerald putting on music. The remaining time she was in Gerald’s suite was like a dream. She remembers brief moments of her being in bed with him; also, taking a shower. She woke up on Gerald’s couch five hours after she had arrived. She was fully clothed. Gerald comes out his bedroom wearing a robe. Hey sleepy head, you finally woke up. Are you okay? Stephanie looks at Gerald strangely, before replying; what happen? What do you mean what happen replied Gerald? You fell asleep. Do you need me to call you an Uber or are you okay to drive? Stephanie tells Gerald that she was okay to drive.

    The next day, Stephanie calls her friend Tracy to tell her about what happen. Tracy pushes Stephanie to tell Dwight. Stephanie was scared to tell Dwight but decided it was best he hears it from her. Dwight comfort Stephanie the best way he could. He kept telling her that it was not her fault. Dwight opens the gifts Stephanie had bought back from Gerald. Just as he figures, inside was empty boxes filled with paper. Dwight went to the hotel to confront Gerald. Upon arrival, he finds out Gerald had checked out. Dwight rushed over to Gerald’s parents’ house. Gerald was leaving his parent’s house with two body guards by his side. When Dwight tried to run up on Gerald, the body guards held him back. Dwight begins to yell at Gerald, shouting why man why. Why would you do that to my girl when you have women chasing after you because of who you are as a player. Why do this to me and my girl? Gerald looked his friend in the eyes then tell him; “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” Dwight was hurt; however, he knew he had to support Stephanie in any way he could.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU

  • If Loving You is Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right.

    If Loving You is Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right.

    What does one do, when the heart wants what it wants?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Please leave in peace! Shouts John, after he finish telling his wife of less than a year that he loves another woman. John and his wife Rita met when both were in their late twenties on the set of a Broadway production play. John was a producer and Rita worked with wardrobe and makeup. John was attracted to Rita’s figure. She has what John called an hourglass shape. John would call Rita “brick house” because her measurements were exactly the same as the women described in the song Brick house. Each time John called her brick house, he would laugh then shake his head while singing 36-24-36 what a winning hand. He would grab Rita around her waist, pull her into his chest; kiss her on the lips as he declares, you got what it takes to get this man; don’t ever lose your winning hand. Rita would giggle every time. It made her feel loved and wanted. She never gave thought to what John was actually saying. Many of the women on set would joke with Rita about the brick house statement John would make regarding never losing her winning hand. Each time one of the women on set would observe Rita eating junk food; they would joke, “your brick house will soon become a sinking sandcastle if you continued to eat that junk food.” Rita would laugh it off with a reply “don’t be a hater.” Rita delighted in the fact that she had the attention of her man and the jealous women on the set. She did not feel threaten by the other women remarks. Rita knew, her small frame shapely figure was in her DNA. She took after her mother, grandmother and all her aunts. Rita would intentionally eat junk food in front of the women to get a reaction from them. All the women in the play were on a special diet. They had to make sure their weight did not change in order to fit into the wardrobe.

    The play moved around within the same state for several months. It was time to take it on the road in other states. Rita was excited about traveling from state to state with the play. One month before the play was scheduled to travel to the next state, Rita became ill and had to be rushed to the emergency room. John and Rita’s families were relieved to hear she would be okay after a couple of days in the hospital getting some fluid in her system with the help of IV. Rita was diagnosed with dehydration. The doctor informed Rita that she needs to eat healthier foods for the sake of the child she was carrying. “What” shouts Rita and John at the same time. The doctor looked at them both with amazement. I am assuming you do not know that you are pregnant, states the doctor. No, I did not know Rita replied. The doctor asked Rita when the last time she saw her primary doctor and when was her last menstruation. Rita said she did not know to both questions. She informed the doctor that she had been so busy with the play that she did not realize she didn’t have a menstruation period. John asked the doctor how many weeks or months was Rita. I take it you are the father the doctor replied. John looked at Rita to answer the doctor question. Rita became anger with John reaction. Of course, you are the father shouts Rita. The doctor informed them both that Rita was three months pregnant. John asked the doctor would Rita be able to travel for work. The doctor advises Rita to see her primary doctor right away; however, he does not feel it would be good for her to travel at this time. He stated because of her poor diet, her blood pressure is elevated, and her heart rhythm is slightly irregular, which could be a result of consuming too many caffeinated drinks. Rita was devastated. She did not trust John to be on the road without her.  After Rita’s primary doctor confirmed the recommendations made by the emergency room physician; she expressed to John her fear of losing him as he travels without her. John was worried and concern about his child Rita was carrying. In order to keep her stressed free for the sake of the baby, John married Rita at the courthouse one week before he left town with the play.

    John was on the road traveling with the play six months without any physical contact with Rita. He would call her a few times each week to check on her pregnancy. Rita understood John’s job requires him to be on the road for months. However, she also knew that they have a three-to-five-day break between each city performance. She did not understand why John did not fly home for a day or two to check on her and their unborn baby. When John finally came home, after the play had ended, he went straight to his condo to sleep. Rita did not hear from him for two days. When he came over to her place, he did not act like she was his wife who would be giving birth to their child any day. He talked to her like she was a co-worker about how the play went well. Rita asked John about them living together as husband and wife. John expressed that he wasn’t ready for them to change from their current living arrangements. Why did you marry me shouts Rita? Because you are carrying my child states John. The conversation with John caused Rita stomach to cramp. John told Rita she has to calm down for the sake of the baby. At that moment Rita’s water broke and she was in labor. John rushed Rita to the hospital; ten hours later their son was born. John was so excited about having a son; he always wanted a junior. John purchased a three bedroom; 2 1/2 baths, house for Rita and his son. He moved some of his clothes into their new home; however, he kept his condo. Three months after giving birth to their son, John informed Rita that another play will start its tour in two weeks. Although John spent the majority of his time at his condo, Rita enjoyed having John at home with her and their son; but she understood he had to go back to work.

    During John Junior nap time, Rita would search on social media to see what is going on in the world. She felt absence from the world for nearly a year. Pictures of John with the same lady begin to surface. Rita thought this must be someone who has a role in the new play. As she continued to search, she notices this same woman was in pictures with John during the last play prior to this new one. Rita was able to find a playbill online to see who was starting in the new play. She sees two women names who worked with her and John. Not sure who would reply back to her, Rita sent both ladies a text to say hello and ask how the play was going. Two days after her text, Rita receives a phone call. Looking at the caller ID, Rita thought to herself; of course, the person who joke the most about my figure turning from a brick house to a sandcastle is the one who calls me. Anyway, thought Rita, here goes. “Hello Sandy, how are you; asked Rita.” Hi Rita, I was surprise to receive a text from you. You just ghost us without any word on what was going on with you. “I’m sorry about that states Rita.” Well, John told everyone you wouldn’t be back because you became ill from dehydration and during the examination other illness was discover due to you eating all that junk food. Girl, I always told you that brick house figure of yours was going to become a sinking sand castle due to all that junk food you use to eat. Anyhow, how are you feeling now? “I’m doing well; thank you for asking. Sandy, I notice a new actress joined the last play and I see pictures of her with the crew in this new play. She is approximately five feet five inches; small frame with natural curly golden-brown hair.” Girl, that’s no new actress. That’s John new girlfriend. He did not waste any time finding a new girlfriend after you two broke up. “So, he told you all that him and I broke up.” Yeah, he said after you found out you were ill, you ended the relationship so that you can focus on your health. I was like, good for you. Girl, within a week, Ms. Sally come waltzing on set acting like she owns the place. “Oh, is that her name asked Rita.” Naw girl, that’s what I call her. You know, I got a nickname for everyone. I think her name is Jessica. I can tell he loves this one. Well, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings by saying he did not love you. But it’s something special about this one. He is definitely different around this one. I like who he is around Ms. Sally. I can always tell when a man is in love. And he is smitten with this one. Look girl, I need to get off this phone, I promise one of the ladies I would help her read lines tonight. She has to keep making up words because she can’t remember her lines for nothing. She throws us off with those made-up lines. I must say, her made up lines sounds better than the actual lines; nonetheless, she throwing everyone off trying to figure out what comes next after her made-up lines. So, girl, it was good talking to you. “It was good talking to you also Sandy” After Rita end her call with Sandy, she begins to cry. She thought John loved her. She thought about all the times she would call the ladies “haters” because she believed they were jealous of her and John’s love.

    Rita decided to google the name Jessica using John’s zip code at his condo as a secondary search filter. The name Jessica Boyd came up with the same address as John’s condo. Rita text Sandy asking when do the current play takes its next break? Sandy text back stating in two weeks they would get a one-month break before traveling to the next state. Rita made plans for her mother to babysit John Jr. She searches through John’s things at the house. In the back of his sock drawer, she found a key box. Inside the key box was a key with the word spare on its tag. She was hoping the key was to his condo. Rita went to the condo. She asked herself, why she never thought to ask John to invite her over. He always came to her place when they dated. Rita was surprised to see how huge and beautiful John’s condo was. It had a large kitchen with an island; a laundry room; a dining room; a large living room; two large bedrooms; two large full bath rooms and a loft above the dining room that was used as an office. The condo had more female clothes; jewelry and personal items then male clothes and personal items. She did recognize the clothes hanging in the closet belonged to John. She also noticed the female clothes were all expensive name brand. She could tell that someone was there before she arrived because of the wet towel laying across the hamper. Rita decided she wouldn’t say anything to John. In two weeks, she would make a surprise visit to the condo; this time in the middle of the night. A week after going to John’s condo, he called home telling Rita the play only has a one-week break before the next show starts in the next city and he was needed in that city to finalize the paperwork before the play. Therefore, he will not be coming home for a break. Rita simply replied with “okay, I understand.” Five days after talking to John, Rita had her mom keep John junior overnight. She got up from bed at one in the morning. She brushes her hair back into a ponytail then threw on some sweats and sneakers. She grabs the key John keep in his sock drawer. This time the front entrance door was locked at the high raised building. She pushed a button to talk with the front desk about losing her front door keep when a couple walked up after stepping out an Uber. They overheard her telling the attendant she has her key to her condo but lost the front door key. The couple who walked up shouts through the intercom; it’s okay Jeffrey, we see the lady speaking to you has one of our keys. We can let her in with us. Jeffrey sound sleepy and was grateful someone else was able to help out. Rita thanks the couple. She exists the elevator on the eighth floor as the couple travel to the twelfth floor. Rita unlocked the front door with ease. She walks to the first bedroom where the door was half way open. Both John and Jessica were lying in bed sleep. She stared at them for a brief moment. She takes out her cell phone from her pocket then proceeded to call John’s phone. He reached over with his eyes closed as he picks up the phone, looks at the number then hit the red button to end the call. Just as he was putting the phone back down, Rita hit redial. John kept clicking the red button. Without turning over in bed, Jessica asked who is that calling. No one replied John, go back to sleep. Rita hits redial two more times when suddenly Jessica sits up in bed and as she turns to look at John, she sees Rita standing at the door. She begins to screams. John jumps out of bed to see why Jessica was screaming, he turns on the lamp light to see his wife Rita standing at the door. Hi John shouts Rita. What the F is going on shouts Jessica. Who is this person in our home? I should be asking you that question shouts Rita. You are the one in bed with my husband. Your husband; what the hell is this lady talking about John? John was speechless. He couldn’t believe Rita was standing in his condo. Rita continued to talk to Jessica. So, Jessica, you are telling me that you don’t know that you are sleeping with a marry man and the father of our son John Junior. Wait, shouts Jessica. How do you know my name? How do you not know the man you are sleeping with is marry shouts Rita? Jessica looks at John with tears in her eyes. She tells him, I really need you to break your silent stare and talk to me. What is going on John, asked Jessica? Yeah John, shouts Rita; tell Jessica what is going on.

    John looks Jessica in her eyes; he gently wipes the tears off her cheeks with his fingers before grabbing a tissue. He tells her; baby, I am so sorry I never told you, I found out my ex-girlfriend was pregnant the same week I was planning to tell her our relationship was over because I had met you. I know this might sound crazy but if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right. If being right means losing, you; I rather be wrong but feeling right. The only reason I marry Rita is because her pregnancy was at-risk due to health complications. I did not want to lose my child because I upset his mother. Rita became very upset and fearful of me not being with her when she couldn’t travel with the play. I married her one week before my flight was to leave for the play. I was under a lot of pressure and did not know what to do. I felt the life of the child was most important. This is the only reason I married her. We haven’t been together as husband and wife in an intimate way. I bought her a house hoping that would help ease the pain of me telling her that I do not love her, but I love my child with all my heart. I was hoping she would see how this marriage was forced on me. I was hoping she would see we were only together because of us working together. I had to be very careful in how I end the relationship because we worked together. I did not want it to affect our work environment because we still had a job to do. John turns to look at Rita. Rita, you know this is not a marriage we have. We are not sexually active with each other. I believe you know in your heart this is not a marriage made in heaven. This is an arrangement because of my son. Please do not withhold my son from me. I bought you a house. I will make sure I pay child support. But I can no longer pretend to be a husband to you. We have been married less than a year. I will file for an annulment. Please leave in peace! Shouts John, after he finish telling his wife of less than a year that he loves another woman. Rita was heartbroken; but she couldn’t deny what John spoke was truth. She threw his key on the bed before turning and walking out his condo with tears in her eyes.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU

  • Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

    Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Robert is preparing for an interview with a local entertainment news station. He has won a Lifetime Achievement Award for the work he has done with at-risk youths. Robert is the founder and CEO of a non-profit called Higher Learning and Achievement. The core purpose of the non-profit is to supply a safe place for inner city kids to come after school where they can learn techniques and skills in becoming a productive citizen as they mature into an adult. The non-profit teaches the kids motivational skills; communication skills; discipline; and entrepreneur skills.

    During the interview, Robert was asked what motivated him to start a non-profit for inner-city at-risk kids. Robert expressed to the interviewer, that as a child, his parents and uncle taught him the same skills that is being taught in his non-profit. Per Robert, “although I parted away from what I was taught for a short period in my life, I never forgot what I learned as a child. For this reason, I was able to find my way back to being a productive citizen.” Robert further stated, that he feels many inner-city kids are lash key kids because their parents have to work long hours and therefore, they miss out on significant training that will help guide their paths in life. The interviewer asked Robert if he would like to share a story from his childhood that led him to where he is today. Yes, replied Robert.

    “As I was approaching my eighteenth birthday which was approximately three weeks prior to my high school graduation. My parents suggested we combine my birthday and graduation into one big celebration. I agreed with my parents in having one celebration for all my school friends. However, it was important to me to have a small private celebration with my five best friends since elementary school. My mother agreed to put together a backyard party and invite all my school friends to attend from 6pm to midnight. My father agreed to host an overnight sleep over at my parents’ log cabin in the woods with my five best friends. I expressed to my parents, that the camping trip would be beneficial in my closes friends’ and I sharing thoughts; confusion; questions; and concerns about the next chapter in our lives as we move from high school into a life as young adult male. As a child, since the age of ten, my friends nickname me preacher. I have always been the voice of reason within my peer group. I would convince my friends to handle disagreements by discussing the circumstances that led to the disagreement. This is because my parents taught me hitting someone with your fist doesn’t solve a disagreement; it only makes it worse. Therefore, I would challenge my friends’ reasons for wanting to fight each other by afflicting pain with their hands. Many times, my friends would walk away from a heated conversation without fighting after challenging them to think and question their need to express anger by afflicting pain on each other. My father Thomas felt the camping trip was an excellent idea. He suggested we invite his brother, my uncle William. My uncle William was a youth minister at his church. My dad felt William would be helpful in answering concerns and questions the boys might have. My dad assured me, him and William would only be there to assist when asked. It was important to dad that I know he trust my judgement by allowing me to facilitate my event as I had planned.

    On the day of my celebration, the backyard party went well. It looked like the entire graduating senior class was in my backyard. My mother hired a caterer to prepare a variety of finger foods and desserts. A variety of non-alcohol drinks were available as well. My parents and my uncle William chaperone the party. By midnight the backyard was cleared of people except for myself and my five best friends who I invited to sleep over and attend the camping trip. I and my five friends camped out in the backyard. We were awakened at 5:00a.m to the smell of bacon, sausage and eggs cooking in the kitchen. After breakfast, my dad asked me and my friends to shower and prepare our overnight bags for camping at the cabin in the woods. By 8:00a.m, the RV was packed and ready for the long five-hour trip to the woods. We all enjoyed the five-hour road trip by listening to our favor music CDs and reminiscing about the highlights of high school. Upon arriving at the cabin, me and my friends changed into our swimming shorts as my father and uncle prepared to grill hotdogs and burgers for lunch. Once everyone had settled down from swimming and eating lunch, my uncle opens the floor of conversation by asking me to allow my heart to guide me in directing the discussion on the next chapter in our lives as young adults. After thanking my uncle and dad for their support, I expressed to my five friends. “I feel as young men moving from one important pivotal stage in our lives to another, it’s important to have clear understanding and directions toward what’s ahead for us. I say to them, throughout this past year, I have talked to many of my peers; not just you five friends that is here with me, regarding the next chapter of our lives. Many said that they do not know what to do after high school. Some will attend college; others stated they will look for a job. Ninety percent of my peers isn’t sure what they are going to do. As you all know, through-out high school I volunteer as a mentor for elementary school age boys at the local YMCA. At the YMCA, when I asked the young boys to share in conversation what their parents has taught them about morals and values or what to do or not to do in becoming a young man. These young boys did not recall having any conversations on character building. They only thing they could recall is being told to “take out the trash; wash your hands; eat all your food; look out for your younger brother and sister; do not play in the classroom; come straight home from school; come in the house before the streetlights comes on; and do your homework.” This led me to wonder, where would they end up without any structural guidance in building a stable fruitful life as they grow into young adults. My parents have always raised me according to the principle outlined in Proverbs 22:6 of the bible. This proverb tells us to train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. The question that ponders my thoughts is; do parents understand that they are to train their children, from age zero to eighteen, in preparation for adulthood. Or do they think their only position as a parent is to feed, clothed and discipline their child for bad behavior. Or, is it possible that parents believe that the training starts at age eighteen once the child graduate from high school? At this point of me speaking, I turned to my five friends and asked each of them to share what training their parents had given to them in preparation for adulthood or life on their own.”

    The interviewer asked Robert what did he learned from asking his friends that question. “Well, they all stated that their parents never gave any training in preparation for them living outside their family homes as a young adult. Two of my friends talked about playing sports through-out high school taught them discipline and also how to be a team player by understanding it’s okay to be recognized as an individual due to one’s skills; however, the spotlight has to be about the team. All five stated, the one thing they observed from their families is that their mothers and sisters took care of the household as their fathers worked long hours outside the household. They also observed in some classmate households that both parents worked; therefore, they were not sure who took care of the household duties.

    The interviewer asked Robert, how did your camping event lead to you starting your own non-profit. “Well, I always had the desire to mentor kids. However, for a short period of time, I went in a different direction by becoming a probation officer. Our jails were inundated with young men who had no directions in life. I felt, maybe I could make a change in their lives by guiding them to make better decisions and by helping them find jobs. The interviewer asked; how did that work out? “As you can see, I am here today, it did not work out well. Many of the men on probation were condition to the street training they learned as kids. There was no changing their mindset. On many occasions, I found myself having to fight for my life by using force with my hands. This went against the person I was as a child growing up. However, it took me back to my original path in mentoring kids. Catching them at their most informative years to instill skills and principles that would guide them in becoming productive citizens. I believe kids most informative years actually starts at age four through age eighteen. When they enter into preschool until the time, they graduate high school and have to make that lifelong decision as to where do they go from there.” Robert, do you have any closing remarks asked the interviewer. “Yes. I challenge all parents to raise their children with principles that aid them in making good morally sound decisions, and train them to be able to live independent of their families by teaching them simple skills like balancing a check book; budgeting and saving for a raining day. We as parents can not rely on the schools to teach our kids life skills; and we definably do not want to depend on the streets to teach them. When we train up our children in the way they should go, I believe they will live a life that is best describe in Psalms one. Which reads as follows: “Blessed is the man that walk not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law he mediates day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bring forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither and whosoever he does shall prosper. The ungodly are not so; but are like the chaff which the wind drive away. Therefore, the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord know the way of the righteous; but the way of the ungodly shall perish.” Thank you, Robert, for this interview. It has been very informative and enlighten. “Thank you for the opportunity to share my story, replied Robert.”

  • The Spirit of Jealousy

    The Spirit of Jealousy

    Let’s talk about it…

    Juanita and Theresa have been friends since the age of three. Their mothers are wives of military soldiers that lived with their families on the Army based. The mothers met on the Army based when each of them was pregnant at the same time with their daughters. Juanita has a brother three years older. Theresa has an older brother and sister who are twins. Theresa’s twin siblings are five years older than her. The two mother’s relationship grew close shortly after their husbands were deployed at the same time. Juanita and Theresa were three years old when their fathers were deployed.

    The mothers became each other support system. Juanita and Theresa were like sisters. They were in the same Sunday school class. They attended the same elementary and high school. Both girls were socially active; however, Juanita was more talkative than Theresa. Theresa was sociable in the presence of people; however, at home, she enjoyed her quiet time. Being a social butterfly, Juanita would talk on her phone whenever she was not in the presence of people. She was a people person who constantly needed open communication. Throughout school, Juanita would procrastinate on many things that should have been done in a timely manner due to her constantly talking on the phone. Theresa was always there to help Juanita get back on task or meet the deadline for important commitments.

    In school, Juanita enjoyed having an advantage over Theresa when it comes to taking test. Juanita had a photographic memory. She would study minutes before a test and would always receive an “A”. On the other hand, Theresa would study a week before a test and would receive a B. As the two grew into young adults, Juanita became obsess with following in Theresa’s footsteps. When Theresa enrolled in college for Business Accounting, Juanita changed her major from Business Administration to Business Accounting. Juanita made sure each semester she took the same classes as Theresa. Juanita loved comparing their test score or bragging about not having to study as much as Theresa. After graduating from college, they both found jobs at different companies. Theresa worked for years at one company. Juanita was laid-off after six months of working. She did not care about being laid-off because she claims her boss kept harassing her for not completing assignment within the time period given. After being laid-off, Juanita worked odd jobs for short periods of time. Both women had married at an early age and was divorce with full custody of their kids by the time they were thirty-five. Juanita would move within five minutes of where ever Theresa lived. She would move just because Theresa would move.

    Although they were best of friends, Juanita did not like the accolades Theresa would receive from mutual friends. Theresa always received complements for being dedicated, loyal, dependable, and professional. Theresa light was always shining bright because of her genuinely warm giving personality. Juanita would always joke when people complement Theresa, by saying it’s obvious you all do not know the real Theresa. Theresa did not like the joke but never said anything. When the jokes did not stop the complements, Juanita started lying on Theresa trying to defame her character. Theresa couldn’t understand why her best friend who is like a sister is turning against her. Theresa begins to question herself. What have I done to cause Juanita to treat me this way? We haven’t had an argument or disagreement. Am I delusional in thinking our relationship is like sisters? Did I miss something? We have been together since the age of three. I need help understanding this relationship between Juanita and myself. Theresa decided to get spiritual counseling. She made an appointment with Dr. Bernice who is a mutual friend of hers and Juanita. Dr. Bernice is a license psychologist who is the founder of a non-profit organization that counsel young girls and women. Dr. Bernice is also an ordain minister.

    Dr. Bernice informed Theresa in their first counseling meeting that she had discerned the change in spiritual connection between her and Juanita approximately two years ago. She assures Theresa that she is not delusional in thinking that her and Juanita relationship was like close sisters. Theresa asked Dr. Bernice, “why did you say was like close sisters; speaking in past tense?” “Theresa, you are here because you are aware of a change in the relationship. I will guide you in finding the answers to your questions, but I will not provide an answer to your questions based on my personal observation of you and Juanita relationship. It would not be fair to Juanita since I am friends with you both.” Dr. Bernice takes a moment to pray with Theresa, asking God to open Theresa’s mind and heart in finding truth and understanding; also, to prepare and comfort her heart for what the truth reveals. After praying, Dr. Bernice informs Theresa to spend at least fifteen minutes each night before bed mediating on God’s Word and to pray for insight in understanding God’s word.

    Theresa did as Dr. Bernice instructed. Five days after praying and mediating, Theresa had a dream that her and Juanita were sisters and they both were preparing a spiritual offering to give to God. Juanita gave her offering first; in her offering she repeated memorized accolades she heard other people speak to each other. In Theresa’s offering, she spoke from her heart the gratitude and appreciation she has in having and knowing the love of God. God respected Theresa and her offering; But, did not respect Juanita and her offering. Juanita was very trouble she did not receive the same respect as Theresa. God asked Juanita, why is she trouble? If you spoke from your heart, you would have received the same respect. Because you spoke words that was not from your heart but from the mouth of others shows you are disconnected from me; which in turns allows sin to lay at your door. Juanita became very angry with Theresa for receiving God’s blessing for her offering. She used her friendship with Theresa to lure her into the fields where she slew her. The Lord God came to Juanita asking her; where is thy sister? And she said; I know not. Am I my sister’s keeper? The Lord God asked; What has thy done? The voice of your sister’s blood cry out to me from the ground. Now you are cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy sister’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto you, her strength. A fugitive and a vagabond shall you be in the earth. Juanita cried out to the Lord God saying; my punishment is greater than I can bear. Everyone will see that I am a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth and will not want to be around me because I am untrustworthy; therefore, their isolation will slay me. The Lord God cover Juanita sin from public eye but not from his eyes.

    Theresa is looking forward to telling Dr. Bernice about her dream in today’s counseling session. She arrives ten minutes early. “Good morning, Theresa.” “Good morning, Dr. Bernice.” “Last week you were given a homework assignment. How did it go?” “It went well Dr. Bernice. Spending alone time with God in the comfort of my room is something I have always done. However, this time was different because I used the time in God’s presence to mediate on seeing the person in the mirror, as well as, on my relationship with Juanita. Five days after spending intimate time with God, I had a dream.” Theresa tells Dr. Bernice about the dream. “Wow Theresa,” replied Dr. Bernice; “I can see you were in direct communication with God. God speaks to us, his children, in many ways. One way is in dreams. What revelation did you get from the dream?” “To summarize what I received; the person I love and come to know as my best friend and sister has a spirit of jealousy. No one was exempt from the spirit of jealousy that operated from within her. It was more prevalent in visibility with me because I am the closet to her in relationship. God has asked me to forgive and to pray for her because she belongs to him. God deposit into my spirit; that the earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof; which is the world and they that dwell therein. For he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the floods. Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord; or who shall stand in his holy place; he that have clean hands and a pure heart; who have not lifted up his soul unto vanity; nor sworn deceitfully? He shall receive the blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation. After hearing these words deposited into my spirit. I got up out of bed, then kneel down on my knees before God. I prayed for my sister Juanita and I asked God to help my heart to forgive; then I spoke the following words from my heart to God. Oh Lord, in you I put my trust. Never, let me be ashamed; deliver me in your righteousness; as you provide your ear to hear; speedily be my strong rock for a house of defense to save me. For you are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for your name’s sake lead me and guide me. Pull me out of the net that they have laid privately for me; for you are my strength. Into your hand, I commit my spirit whom has redeemed me; God of truth.

    Dr. Bernice, in my heart I have forgiven Juanita. Her wickedness towards me no longer hurts. I can genuinely be loving and cordial with her; however, it will take some time for the level of trust I once had for her to be built again. I would need to see a genuine long-term change in her spirit.” stated Theresa. “You speak with wisdom. Every wise woman builds her house. The wisdom in the prudent woman is to understand her way. The way has been made clear. God is guiding your footsteps. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the day of your life; and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. My job here with you is complete. God has answered. Be Blessed Theresa,” replied Dr. Bernice.

    Several months later, Dr. Bernice invited Theresa to share her testimony with a group of young teenagers at her non-profit who were dealing with low self-esteem due to defamation of their character by someone who proclaim to be their best friend.

    Theresa started her conversation with the young ladies by introducing yourself then telling them briefly her story of character defamation at the hands of a close friend. Theresa passed out a small hand mirror to each girl in attendance. She asked each to look into the mirror until she asks them to stop. She tells them, “The bible tells us in Genesis chapter 1 verse 26-27 that God made you in his image after his likeness. So, as you are looking in that mirror you hold in your hand; I want you to understand, you are looking at the image of God. You are looking at a visual likeness of God. And everything God created in the beginning that is written in Genesis; chapter one of the bible, God declared, it was good. When God created man and female, as written in Genesis; he declared, it was very good. Anyone who attacks the looks of the person you see in that mirror, you are holding in your hand, they are attacking God the one who created you. You did not create yourself, so that person is attacking God. Our responsibility as being created in the likeness of God is to make sure our character reflects his likeness. You made lower your mirror. The bible tells us, God is a spirit and the Fruit of the Spirit is love. Therefore, God is love. Let your character emanates love in the likeness of God. Also, God is light; no darkness can comprehend the light. When light shows up; darkness has to fleet. People who hurt other people is walking in darkness; they cannot comprehend the light of God. The bible tells us in Matthew chapter 5 verse 14; that “we are the light of the world.” Do not dim your light by walking in darkness. In verse 16 of Matthew, it tells us; “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Therefore, when someone attacks you for doing the right thing, they are coming against the light that is in you; which means, they are attacking God who tells you to let your light shine. As you can see from my testimony, I learned with counseling and prayer that the battle was not mines, it was God whom the person was coming against. Therefore, I gave the battle to him in prayer and meditation. In turn, God gave me peace and joy. The person attacking you wants you to hurt because they are hurting. They are attacking you in the same areas of their life that they do not feel good about; the same areas they are hurting in. This is why God wants us to pray for them. Your prayers will help them to open their heart up to receiving healing in God so that they do not continue to walk in darkness and live a life in pain. Once they are delivered from the hurt; they will no longer pass their hurt onto other people. Be blessed.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU

  • Seek and You Shall Find

    Seek and You Shall Find

    The heart executes what the mind is seeking.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Andre is sitting quietly in his room writing a poem when someone bangs on the door. Who is it? shouts his mom. It’s the police, open the door. Mom unlocks the door then jumps out the way of the officers storming in with anger dripping from their brows. Where is he shouts one officer? Where is who shouts mom? The guy who ran in here with the shotgun. You just searched my place; as you can see there is no one here other than me and my twelve-year-old son. No one ran into my apartment. An officer comes from the outside stairwells shouting wrong floor. We have the wrong floor. Without an apology, the officers race out as quick as they came in. Andre is not startled by the commotion. It’s the way of life in the PJ’s (projects). Andre goes back to writing his poem.

    “Darkness fills the air even in day light. Hunger is the only trail in one’s flight. Stop; Look; Fight; stay out of sight. Only the blind comes out at night. How can one dream when nothing else is being seen? Look to the sky for answers in the power of the thunder. Tire of walking in fear; tire of walking in shame; tire of feeling guilty for those who isn’t the blame. Nowhere to run; nowhere to hide; how do I fly? Fly away from here.”

    Andre begins to ponder on the last sentence in his poem. “How do I fly; fly away from here?” He did not know how to dream for a better life when the only thing in sight is his current conditions. There was no one to mentor him in seeking answers. Andre is the only child. He never met his father who is incarcerated. He doesn’t go outside in fear of gang pressure and violence. He is grateful to be bus to school in another district in order to avoid the calamity in the inner-city school. Andre is an introvert. He occupies his time at home writing poetry that expresses his feelings and thoughts, as well as reading books. His mother works for a motel cleaning the rooms and washing towels and bed linen. Her salary is barely enough to provide for the two of them. Many times, they would run out of food at the end of the month. Andre would watch his mother on several occasions go through the same routine when there isn’t any food and no one to call for help. She would start the routine by praying to God; then she would read her bible; lastly, she would walk around the apartment praising God as she sings spiritual songs. Many times, after she finish her routine, someone would knock on the door with two large bags of food from the local church. The bags would contain, can meat, dry beans, rice, uncooked spaghetti, tomato paste and can vegetables. This act of kindness encouraged Andre to find out more about who is God. He wants to know how do God heard people who cry out to him? And how do people know it is God who answered their cry? His mother would always say, God heard my cry and he has answered me by sending these people here with these bags of food. Andre thinks out loud to himself, “does everyone cry out to God by praying, singing praises and reading their bible? I have so many questions and thoughts about God. How do I get answers? I do not want to bother my mother who is usually very tire after work.” Andre decided he would start with reading his mother’s bible daily after school before she gets home from work. After several weeks of reading; Andre has read through the Old Testament and has completed reading the first four books in the New Testament. The Old Testament helped Andre get a better understanding of who is God. He now knows God created the heaven and the earth and of all living things including people. Also, He now knows God is so great that no sinful flesh can be in his presence without atonement. Andre now understands that disobeying God open the knowledge of evil to man and woman; and because of this knowledge, sin enter into the world. Andre read’ stories of people being disobedient to God’s commandments and them having to take burnt offerings to the priest for cleansing of sin. Also, the Old Testament contained books of songs and books of wisdom and prophets telling stories of things to come.

    The New Testament captivated his mind because it talks about the Messiah, the son of God. Andre thinks to himself; this is it, the son of God. Reading about him has to give me the answers I seek. After all, he is the son of God. Who would know how to communicate with God better than his son? I’m sure the way to communicate with God is different in the New Testament; especially since the Old Testament reference leaders like Moses, Aaron and prophets communicating with God on behalf of the people. In the New Testament, Andre learns prayer is how to communicate with God. The first lesson Andre learns from the New Testament on praying is in Matthew 6:6-13; Jesus taught his disciples to pray to thy Father God in private and thy Father God will reward or answer them openly. Jesus let the disciples know they do not need to pray long prayers because God the Father knows what things they have need of before they ask him. He lets the disciples know to end their prayer with the Lord’s prayer he has given to them. Which is: “Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.” The second lesson Andre learns about prayer is in Mark 11:22-26; Jesus teaches his disciples to “Have faith in God” when they pray. Jesus tells his disciples that faith has to be in your heart. Jesus declared to them “For verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he said. Therefore, I say unto you, what things soever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.”

    After reading Jesus’ teaching on prayer, Andre now understands the purpose of his mother’s routine. His mother would pray to God to supply their need for food; then she would strengthen her faith in God by reading the bible. The strength she got from reading God’s word shield her heart from doubt. The bible declares in Mark 11:23 faith has to be in the heart. Lastly, Andre’s mother would walk around the apartment praising God as she sings spiritual songs. Andre now understands his mother was giving God thanks before the prayer had manifest in the natural by praising him with spiritual songs. This is because his mother had no doubt in her heart. Therefore, she praised God for what her heart believed she was receiving before she receives it. Faith is knowing in your heart the prayer is answered before it manifests.

    As Andre continued to read the New Testament, his relationship with God and understanding grew. Andre decided to start a routine similar to his mother’s routine. He wrote down his prayer to God. Each day after school and on the weekends, Andre would read his prayer to God, then he would read the bible on faith; lastly, he would thank God for supplying all his needs and for answering his prayer. Andre followed this routine starting at the age of twelve for many years. He understood because faith had to be built in his heart, it would take some time because of his circumstances due to his environment. Andre knew his heart was beginning to change during his junior year in high school. He had a new song in his heart. He was able to articulate his new song in a poem as follows.

    “Light is present and darkness comprehend it not. It shines on a hill for all to see the glory of God. The impossible has been made possible through the heart of belief. What man intended for evil; God turned and used it for good. Girdle with truth; shield with faith and cleansed with righteousness repels the fiery darts of the wicked as my feet stand firm in the gospel of peace. Thank you, God, for making provision in the bread of life; I hunger and thirst no more; from my belly flow rivers of living water. My heart sings Holy, Holy.”

    At the start of Andre’s last year in high school, he met with his guidance counselor to discuss his future beyond high school. The counselor is aware of Andre living environment and therefore is very impressed with his straight 4.0 GPA throughout high school. He tells Andre there are several scholarships he recommends for him to apply. Andre desire is to become a screenwriter; a producer and director of films. He would like to get a degree in film production. Four months before graduation, Andre received a full scholarship and was able to apply to the school of his choice. While in college, Andre is writing screen plays and is pitching them to production companies. Two of his screen plays was accepted by two different production companies. Andre and his mother were able to move out of the PJs into a small, rented house in a better neighborhood. Andre continued to sell his screen writing though-out college. He made enough money to retire his mother. He promises his mother the next move will be into a house built from the ground up. Andre grabs his mother by her hands, looked into her eyes, as he asked her; do you believe? “Son, I believe. God showed me a vision long ago when you were twelve years old, that you will become a man of faith and your faith will move mountains.” Andre and his mom hugged as they praised God together. After graduating from college, many of Andre’s movies won Oscar awards for best picture. He also won three Tony awards for best play. Andre is now the owner of a production company and has built two houses from the ground up. One for his mother and one for him to live with his wife and kids.

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  • Summer Breeze

    Summer Breeze

    A Summer breeze makes me feel fine, blowing though the jasmine in my mind.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Reggie is a fifty-year-old business owner of a night club and theatrical theater. Approximately fifteen years ago, he purchased a two-story warehouse in downtown Miami. He converted the upstairs to a theatre that promoters can rent for musical events. The downstair of the warehouse was converted to a night club that has a stage for entertainers, also it has two dance floors, and two full bars; one bar is located in the back of the club, and the second bar is located in the front of the club. The entrance to the theatrical theater is on the next street, parallel to the club entrance. Reggie has never been married or in a serious relationship with one woman. He has a twenty-one-year-old son from a lady he briefly dated twenty-two years ago. Reggie proudly wears the title Womanizer. He has repeatedly expressed to his friends that there are too many women in the world to be committed to only one. He has been intimated with many of the women that frequent his club. Reggie’s son Bobby has completed a three-month training course in bartending. He has past the RBS Certification exam and is now legally able to serve alcohol. Bobby has collaborated with his dad Reggie to work with the club head bartender. Now that Bobby is twenty-one years old, his dad feels the need to take him under his wings and teach him how to become a man in the same image of himself. Reggie feels allowing Bobby to work as a bartender at the club will help him in meeting women as he shows him the do’s and don’ts of being intimate without commitment.

    A bottle girl, who works at the club has capture Bobby’s attention. Bobby’s dad Reggie has caught him talking to the bottle girl in private several times during working hours. Reggie pulled his son aside to let him know that dating or becoming intimate with anyone who work at the club is prohibited. Reggie tells his son; “look son, if this happen again, after this warning, then one person involved in the relationship will have to been fire.” Reggie express to Bobby that the door is open to the woman who frequent the club but doesn’t work at the club. He tells him; “son it’s like going to a buffet meal. You can choose as many as you like; as much as you want of the frequent flyers.” One night Reggie decided to help his son by introducing him to a young woman his age. The woman had come into the club to reserve a private area for her and several of her friends to celebrate her twenty first birthday. After completing paperwork for the reserved space, Reggie takes the woman to meet his son. He expressed to the woman that his son would be more than happy to serve as their private bartender. He also suggests that they exchange phone numbers should they both have any questions before the event on the coming Friday night. After the woman leaves the club, Reggie tells his son; “this is lesson number one on how to capture a woman of interest, who is a guest of the club. If you play your cards right, by following my advice, you will have her in your bed within one day of her event here at the club.” Bobby laughed before bumping fist with his dad. He tells his dad, “Okay pops, I am all ears. Advise me on what to do and I will make it happen.” The father and son duo, grab one hand to shake then pulled each other in to bump shoulders as they laughed and walked off in separate directions.

    Friday, the night of the private event has arrived. Bobby makes sure the private event is setup near the bar located in the back of the club. He has assigned a server to the private event so that all orders for food and drinks can be handled as soon as possible. Bobby goes over to see how things is going one hour after the private event started. The birthday girl was one drink away from becoming drunk and was very happy with the service. Her friends made OOOd and AAWd sounds as they witness Bobby whispering in her ear and kissing her on the neck. Bobby personally escorts the birthday girl to her ride share car after the event was over.

    As instructed by his dad, Bobby calls the birthday girl, the next day, after her event, to check on her. She expressed her gratitude for his thoughtfulness in checking on her as well as for a wonderful time at the club. Bobby asked her if she has a hangover. As soon as she said yes, Bobby offers to bring her a club remedy that helps with hangovers. “To be honest states Bobby, I am looking for a reason to invite myself to your home. I would love an opportunity to get to know you better.” Bobby was surprised to receive an invite so quickly without hesitation, to the birthday girl’s house that evening. Just as his father said, he was in her bed within a day after her event at the club. Bobby has become a master of the skills his father has taught him. He is spending intimate time with many of the young women he meets in the club.

    A lady who has frequent the club since it has been in business recommend it to her friend Jasmine who is looking for a place to have her 40th birthday celebration. Jasmine is not a club kind of girl. She prefers to rent a banquet hall and hire a DJ and Caterer. She is an interior decorator and therefore feels she can use her skills to decorate a hall using some of the furniture she rents out through her Rent-A-Center store. Jasmine friend convince her to come check out the club before making a final decision. Jasmine has often attended theatrical events at Reggie’s theatre. She has always admired the interior decorations of the theatre. Jasmine friend capture her attention when she told her the owner of the theatre is the same owner of the club. Jasmine was curious to go see the interior of the club. Jasmine’s friend makes an appointment with Reggie to tour and discuss having an event at the club. The friend explained to Reggie, that she has been to his club several times since its opening, and that the appointment is for her friend Jasmine, who is not a club goer. She tells him, for this reason, she will come with Jasmine to tour and discuss the possibility of having an event at the club. Reggie thanks the friend for recommending his club after setting the appointment time for two days later on a Wednesday at 4:00pm.

    Jasmine was just as impressed with the interior décor of the club as she is of the theatre. However, she still has concerns about her friends coming to a club; especially since many of her friends are not club goers. Reggie is smitten with Jasmine; there is something about her that he cannot put into words. He is determined to personally know more about her in order to find out what is that “IT factor” she has that appears to be different from the women he had casual sexual intimacy within the past. Reggie expressed to Jasmine that he understands her concerns. He assures her, his club is an upscaled safe environment that does not cater to street life individuals. He tells Jasmine, this is why his door fee to get in the club is very high. Also, that he doesn’t want to jeopardize the safety of his theatrical visitors.

    Reggie offers to have his staff build a private room for her event by putting 10 feet partitions up to separate the front section of the club from the back section of the club. It would be very much like a huge cubicle with a private opening for only her guest. The back bar, dance floor and bathrooms will be in the private room. Two security guards will be placed at the entrance of the private room to make sure no one without a wrist band will enter. Several U-shaped seats with rectangle tables will be placed throughout the room. Jasmine was impressed with Reggie’s suggestion to create a private room. She loves the details he outlined about the room. She agreed to give it a chance. The event was scheduled to take place in two weeks on a Saturday. Reggie found reasons to keep the communication between him and Jasmine open. He directly contacted her each step of the process in building the private room. He would text her an updated picture of the process with a follow up phone call for her input. They spend a lot of time talking over the phone for the next two weeks. Their conversations eventually became personal. This is the first time Reggie engage in a deep conversation with a woman. Usually, he is a Wam Bam thank you Mam; hit it and run man. He cannot believe the joy he is receiving from talking to Jasmine. Reggie made it a point to be available at Jasmine event. The event went well. Jasmine was so elated with how things went. She asked Reggie if she could take him to dinner as a token of thanks to show her gratitude for a job well done. Reggie replied with No; then he piggy back her with, let me take you to dinner to thank you for giving my club a chance to show you and your friends who isn’t club goers another perception of clubs. I heard many of your friends saying they would definitely come back to my club. Therefore, it is I who needs to be thanking you. Jasmine accepts Reggie invite to dinner. Reggie and Jasmine agreed to meet at the restaurant of Jasmine choose.

    When Jasmine arrived at the restaurant, Reggie was waiting at a table with flowers. He stood up to greet her and pull her chair out for her to sit. Jasmine kiss him on the cheek as she thanks him for the beautiful flowers. Reggie and Jasmine discussed the food choices on the menu. They both asked each other which dish sounds appealing to you. When the waiter came Reggie gave him both food orders including drinks. Jasmine was impressed; it made her smile to see him take charge as a gentleman who stood when she arrived and pulled her chair out for her to sit. The conversation at dinner went well. They both participated in the conversation and listen to what each other had to say. After dinner, Reggie tells Jasmine, that he would love to take her on dinner dates to get to know her better. Jasmine looks at him smiling without saying a word. Reggie asked if her smile means yes. She nods her head up and down at the same time she is saying yes. I guess this means it’s okay for me to call you to talk from time to time. Jasmine replied “yes, you can call me.” As they left the restaurant, Reggie held Jasmine hand. He walks her to her car, and made sure she was safely secure in her seat belt. He asked Jasmine if she wants him to follow her home to make sure she makes it safely. Jasmine tells Reggie, she will be okay but promise to text him once she makes it home. Reggie kiss her on the cheek after replying; okay, drive safe beautiful. After receiving Jasmine text, Reggie laid in bed daydreaming about Jasmine. He couldn’t believe he was smitten by a woman. He didn’t know what to do with his feelings. It felt good and scary at the same time. This woman has my heart in the palms of her hands. After hearing himself think those thoughts out loud, he couldn’t believe those words came out his mouth. Reggie and Jasmine continued to talked regular over the phone and go on dates. The two have become very close and is exclusively dating each other.

    Bobby noticed something was different about his dad. He watched his dad flow around the club like a happy bouncing butterfly. It was like his body was presence; but his mind was somewhere in the clouds. He kept asking his dad if he was okay. Yeah man, why do you keep asking me that same question? A security guard was passing by as he overheard Bobby conversation with his dad. The security guard joined the conversation by answering the question for Reggie. He tells Bobby, your dad is in love man; your dad is in love. What! Shouts Bobby. It’s impossible for my dad to be in love. He has never ever been in a serious relationship with a woman. How can he be in love? The security guard starts laughing as he replies; “I see you never met Jasmine.” Who is Jasmine asked Bobby? Ask your dad, I need to go sign in to begin my shift. “Dad, who is Jasmine?” She is a summer breeze sweet scented flower blowing through my mind. I met her several months ago in July here at the club when she celebrated her 40th birthday. “Wow Dad, I never heard you talk about anyone the way you are talking about Jasmine. What happen to the man that raised me? Could it be you have fallen in love?” Son, I know I have fallen in love. I never though I could feel this way. For fifty years I played with woman minds; now mines have been captured by a woman I cannot get her off of my mind. It’s like someone has hit the replay button on a one sentence lyric song called Summer Breeze. The words “Summer breeze makes me feel fine blowing through the Jasmine in my mind” keeps playing over and over again in my head. I think the song is telling me it’s time to get marry and settle down son. As a matter of fact, son, I know the song is telling me it’s time to get marry.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU

  • Clean Up Woman

    Clean Up Woman

    A clean up woman gets all the love other women leave behind.

    Let’s talk about it…

    As a child, at age ten, Monique would describe the characteristics of the type of man she wants to marry when she gets older. Her parents would often joke with family and friends that their child has an old soul who had walked this earth before. As early as the age of four, Monique would put on her older sister dress with her mother’s heels; she would playhouse with her dolls. Her two feet boy doll was her husband. Her two feet girl doll was her best friend and her two baby dolls, less than a foot was her kids. She would talk to her dolls like they were human beings. Monique parents were impressed with the amount of knowledge she had for a child only four years of age. It came as no surprise to her parents while in high school, Monique’s friends were all older than her. Monique’s college friends had no idea that she was still in high school.

    Two months before graduating from high school, Monique parents pushed her to choose a profession for enrolling in college. Monique was indecisive because as she read through the college catalog, no profession met her skill set to specialized in overseeing her future husband’s financial endeavors, cook for her family, as well as supervisor the house staff and personal assistants. Monique believed what her parents defined as her unrealistic fantasies would one day become her reality. Monique parents had exalted all the energy and patience they had with their daughter’s imagination. They were so happy when Monique selected Business Management as her profession.

    During Monique second year in college, she meets David; who is also a student at the university. They both were waiting to meet with the Dean. They engaged in a conversation as they waited to be called into the Dean’s office. David plays college football. He is in his fourth year and is looking forward to being drafted in the NFL. David was impressed with how Monique handles the news about him becoming a professional football player. After fifteen minutes of waiting and talking to David, Monique was called into the Dean’s office first. David was instantly attracted to Monique’s beauty and demeanor. He notices, she did not display having a groupie mentality; and she carries herself with poise. As Monique was leaving the Dean’s office, David knew he had to seize the moment. He asked Monique for her phone number so that they could continue their conversation at a later time. They both exchanged phone numbers. As David continued to wait to be called into the Dean’s office, he thought to himself, why he hadn’t seemed Monique on campus prior to meeting at the Dean’s office. He was extremely surprised that she did not know who he was as one of the university’s top football players. The next day, David called Monique to see if she would like to have dinner with him. Monique agreed. David tells Monique to wear comfort walking shoes and to be ready by 5:00pm. David arrives at Monique’s dorm exactly at 5:00pm. Monique wears a fitted one-piece jump suit with flats. David has on jeans, a jersey and sneakers. David embraced Monique with a hug. “Hello beautiful; thank you for accepting my dinner invitation, states David.” “I was elated you asked, states Monique. So, where are we going? I assume it has to be somewhere near within walking distance.” “Your assumption is correct, states David. There is a ready nice local restaurant across the street from campus. I love their food; it remains me of home in Louisiana. I normally order a take out for pickup. This will be the first time I dine in.” David words made Monique blush. She was happy to know that she is the first person he has invited to eat at his favorite restaurant that reminds him of home. What he said, spoke volumes to her. At dinner, David and Monique talked about their childhood, families and past relationships. Monique was surprised to hear David only had one serious relationship prior to him coming to college. David was not surprised to hear Monique has never had a serious relationship. He perceives her to be a person who doesn’t date to just be dating. This thought made him feel very special because she accepted his invite to dinner. David and Monique grew very close. They spent every weekend together and they never missed a day talking to each other over the phone. A few months before David’s graduation from college, he was drafted by the Green Bay Packers. Prior to leaving to Wisconsin, David asks Monique to be his exclusive girlfriend and he vowed to communicate with her as often as he can during training. Monique was happy to be in an exclusive relationship with the man of her dreams.

    During Monique third year in college, she would travel to Wisconsin to visit with David at least one weekend per month. David position as a quarterback for Green Bay was very instrumental in helping the team go to the playoffs and winning the Super Bowl. Monique was with David when his team won the Super Bowl. He surprised Monique with an engagement ring and a marriage proposal. The following year, the two got marry, and bought a mansion to raise their kids. Monique was two months pregnant on the day of her wedding. Monique’s childhood playhouse fantasy became a reality. She manages her husband’s financial endeavors, cook for her family, as well as supervisor the house staff and personal assistants. Ten years and three kids later, Monique feels like something is missing. David has retired and uses his time to work from home investing in joint adventures that has been beneficial towards their financial growth. Monique has grown complacent with her day-to-day routine and is beginning to feel an emptiness. She begins to blame David for not feeling complete. She tells him that he needs to become more hands on at home. David is complex because he doesn’t understand what Monique needs him to do. They have house staff to take care of all their needs. So, he asks Monique, what is it that you need me to do that the staff isn’t doing? Monique tells David to make a list of ten things or ways he can contribute towards the growth of the family, as well as improve in their marriage. David does not understand the assignment. He asks Monique, why can’t you just tell me what it is you need from me or in what area you feel I need to improve. Monique become angry with David. She feels David is being shadow and do not want to have a closer connection with his family. David is so confused he doesn’t know what else to say or how to help Monique. She has become so fussy he tries to stay out of her path way and just agree with whatever she says or want to do. Although David business endeavors are very lucrative, Monique has decided to work outside the home. She tells David he needs to be more hands on by taking care of the kids while she is at work. David asked Monique what is the role of the nanny. Monique did not give an answer other than I want you to be more hands on and take care of our kids. David agrees to take care of the kids.

    Monique’s new job gave her a sense of purpose and excitement in life. She worked as a manager for one of the hottest radio broadcasts stations. She would leave home early in the morning when it was still dark outside and return home late in the evening when it was dark outside. Monique would make it home in time to kiss her kid’s goodnight. She barely spent anytime with David or the kids. David hire someone to help him with the kids. His newly hire employee took the place of his chef and the nanny. The new employee responsibilities were to prepare meals for the kids, pack the kids school lunch, help them with their school work, wash their clothes, and clean their rooms. The new employee would come to work after Monique left and would leave before Monique returned home from work. Monique had no knowledge of the new employee Linda. One night, Monique informed David that she had to go out of town for three days with the radio station. David gave Monique his blessing and asked her to call the kids each night so that they can talk to her before they go to bed. Monique promises she would.

    Linda could see the tension in David’s face as he worked from home and oversees the staff. She asked to cook him a meal and draw him a warm bath while his wife was out of town. Although David hire Linda to solely care for the kids, he didn’t see any harm in allowing her to cook a meal for him. He was tire of ordering food for delivery for himself. While David sits in a warm tub of water, Linda puts a large T-bone steak in the boiler. She tosses a small mix salad after putting an Idaho potato in the toaster oven. Linda is setting the table when David walks into the dining room. She pours him a glass of wine as he sits at the table. Within seconds Linda places the food on the table. She let’s David know that she has laundry to do for the kids; therefore, she will be available to clean up the kitchen after he finish eating. After Linda cleans up the kitchen, she goes into the den to let David know she will be leaving for the evening. She asked him if he would like another glass of wine before she leaves. “Only if you join me replied David.” “I will be right back, states Linda.” She walks back into the den carrying two glasses and a bottle of wine. Linda filled David’s wine glass to the brim before pouring herself a small amount. The two of them sit within inches of each other. They talked about feeling lonely and missing the touch of that special someone. Linda fills David’s wine glass up again, then she looks him in his eyes and began to speak in a very sexy tone; “you look tense, let me take the kinks out your back with a massage.” David smile, then laid face down on the leather couch in the den. Linda begins to massage his shoulders. Once David mourned, Linda knew it was time to make her move. She asked David to turn over. She begins to pleasure him. The two of them laid on the floor naked when Monique’s mother comes into the room. “David”, shouts Monique’s mother. “How could you do this to Monique. This is why she couldn’t get anyone on the phone.” David asked Monique’s mother to leave so he can put on his clothes. The kids’ care taker quickly gets dress then runs out the front door without saying goodbye. David tried to explained to Monique’s mother what happen. Monique’s mom screams at David, “I do not want to hear it.” Linda asks me to come check on the family because she kept calling to talk to the kids; she became worry when no one answer her call. I want you to know that I will be letting my daughter know what happen here tonight. Monique’s mother calls her the same night and asked her to come directly to her home as soon as her flight lands. Monique knew something was wrong; however, she also knows her mom will not say anything over the phone. Immediately after leaving the airport, Monique goes to her parent’s house. Her mother tells her exactly what she saw. Monique begins to cry as her mother wrap her arms around her and whisper softly in her daughter’s ear. “Baby; I know you are hurting but you need to hear what I have to say. When I was your age, your father cheated on me because I had reached my peak in being a housewife. I felt lose and insignificant. I begin to volunteer at a women’s shelter. Your dad used this as an excuse to sleep with the next-door neighbor. Baby, the proclivity to cheap is knee deep in the thoughts of a man. A man struggles with cheating thoughts every time he sees a woman he is attracted to. It’s easy for him to act on those thoughts when we as women open the door for the cleanup woman to seduce him.” This is not to blame woman, but to bring awareness to how a man thinks. A man will put the blame on a woman when she slows down in catering to his sexual desires. Trust and believe, a man has the proclivity to cheap even when his woman is taking care of his sexual needs.

    “Baby, hear me good when I tell you, a clean up woman is a woman who gets all the love we girls leave behind. As previously stated, the reason I know so much about her is because she picked up a man of mines. I took my man’s love and put it on a shelf, so that I could go find something to self-satisfy me because I felt stagnant as a housewife. Like a fool I thought I had my man all to myself. When he needed love, I was out having what I perceived as purpose and fun. But what I found out; all I had done was make it easy for the clean-up woman to get my man’s love. Yes! That’s what I had done. The lesson I’m trying to convey is that; it’s okay to find purpose but you have to factor the needs of your family within your purpose. Never substitute one for another.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU

  • Young Heart Run Free!

    Young Heart Run Free!

    Don’t be a fool for love.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Jennifer is sitting in her kitchen, sipping on a hot cup of coffee as she reflects on her blessings. She thinks to herself; “I am so grateful to God for his love and help in raising my only child Xavier. It’s hard being a single mother of a male child. Xavier has always been a strong-minded person in following the path he chooses to follow. With God’s help and guidance, the path Xavier chosen to follow has been in alignment with how I raised him.” Jennifer thoughts were interrupted by Xavier calling her name from his bedroom. “Yes Xavier, what is it that you need?” Shouts Jennifer. “Mom, I do not see the items you packed for me yesterday to take with me for my dorm room; states Xavier”. Jennifer informed Xavier that she placed the boxed items in his car.

    Jennifer’s husband Xavier Senior died while serving in the military one month before Xavier Junior enters into high school. Xavier Junior first year of high school was extremely difficult because of the loss of his father. Jennifer made sure Xavier received proper counseling to help him cope with the trauma of losing his father. Jennifer cope with the loss of her husband by spending every morning she woke up and every evening before going to bed on her knees in prayer. She listened to many inspirational tapes and music through-out the day. The thought of raising a male child without his father was very scary to her. Now, she can sit back, sip on a cup of coffee while allowing her internal thoughts praise God for helping her through a very horrendous time in her life. After graduating from high school, Xavier wasn’t ready to leave his mother alone to adventure in the world of college away from home. He felt it would be best, if he took his general college courses at the community college near his home. This would give him a chance to become familiar with college life before actually living in a dorm. Now at the age of twenty, Xavier is ready to take the next step after completing all his general courses at the local community college. Xavier has enrolled in the University as well as applied for a room in the dorm. After observing how his mom dealt with the tragedy of his father’s death, he feels she would be okay with him being two hours away from home in college.

    As Jennifer kissed her son on his cheek, before he pulls out the driveway to head north on interstate five, she hands him one of her best friend’s business cards. “Son, states Jennifer; I informed Lola that you will be living on campus near her house for the next two years. She insists that you use her as a second emergency local contact. She wants you to know that her home is always open to you should you need a night away from the dorm life. I think it is good to have an emergency contact that is local from someone who is a good friend of mines.” Xavier takes the business card; “thanks mom, I will give her a call after I settle in my dorm room, to let her know I am in town and would love to see her in person. The last time I saw her was at dad’s funeral. It will be a little awkward using her as an emergency contact when we both do not know how each of us look now, after years of not seeing each other.” “I think that is a good idea son. I will call her tonight to give her a heads up that you will contact her as soon as you get settle. Okay, son drive safe and call me once you reach your destination.” “Will do mom.” Xavier drives off as his mom waves bye until he is out of her sight.

    A week after arriving at school, Xavier gives Lola a call. Lola picks up on the second ring; “Hello Xavier, your name popped up on my caller ID. Your mother told me you would be giving me a call once you settled into your room.” “Hello Ms. Lola.” “Oh no shouts Lola, I will not have you calling me Ms. Lola. I am only fifteen years older than you. So please do not make me feel old.  I was a freshman in high school, and your mother was in her second year of college when we met. As a matter of fact, my mother was your mother college counselor. Your mother became my mentor and close friend. “Please accept my apology states Xavier, I will call you Lola. I would love to meet you at Starbucks so we could bring each other current before I use you as a second emergency contact on my school records.” “I will not have you meeting me at Starbucks. I live in this big two-story house alone. I can cook you a meal or I can order some food for delivery. Why don’t you come to my house on Saturday around four o’clock?” “Okay Lola, I will see you on Saturday. Can you text me your address?” “Sure, thing love”, states Lola before saying goodnight and hanging up. Wow! Thought Xavier after hanging up from talking to Lola. She sounds young. I wonder if she looks as young as she sounds. Xavier begins to think back to the last time he saw her. I was fourteen when dad died, which means she was twenty-nine the last time I saw her. Heck, everybody over the age of twenty looks old when you are a kid. This meeting will be interesting thought Xavier.

    Saturday has arrived; Xavier wasn’t sure what to wear to Lola’s house for dinner. He did not want to appear to look like the kid she saw six years ago; also, he did not want to look like he was dress for a date. He decided to wear a pair of jeans fresh from the cleaners with a dress shirt and a nice clean pair of sneakers. After pulling in the driveway at Lola’s house, Xavier sat in the car for a minute observing her home. She must be married with kids to have such a big house thought Xavier. I should have asked her is it okay with her family for me to list her as a second emergency contact. I hope her family is not anger with me. Lola opens the door soon after Xavier rang the doorbell. That was quick, thought Xavier. “Hello Xavier, come in. You look just as handsome today as you did six years ago. I must say, you have matured well; and filled out in all the right places. Let go have a seat in the living room where we can catch up.” Xavier follows behind Lola to the living room. She was wearing a long fitting sexy dress. “I took the liberty of ordering food, it should be here shortly”, states Lola. “I hope you like roasted chicken and baby back ribs, mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus.” “It sounds good”, states Xavier. Lola and Xavier sit and talked for ten minutes when the doorbell rang. Lola asked Xavier to escort her to the door. It was the delivery guy with the food order. Xavier grabs the container from the delivery guy as Lola closes the door. She asked Xavier to follow her to the dining area. Lola had the table set for two. She asked Xavier to place the food on the table. She points to a door outside the dining room where he could go wash his hands. After washing her hands, she asks Xavier what he would like to drink. She gives him a choice of wine, sprite, cola or flavor water. Xavier chose sprite and flavor water. Lola pours herself a glass of wine. As they ate, Lola tells Xavier about her life. She asked Xavier if he has a girlfriend. She smiled after he replied “No” to her question. She asked Xavier if he would like to come to her home every Sunday for dinner so that he doesn’t have to eat cafeteria food every day. Xavier agreed to dinner at Lola’s house on Sundays. After dinner Lola walks Xavier to the door, she kissed him on the cheek before saying, “I will see you next week on Sunday”. Sure thing, shouts Xavier.

    The first week of school was hectic. New students were running around trying to find their classes. As Xavier sits in each of his classes listening to the profession go over the curriculum, he looks around at the students attending the class. He thinks to himself, why does it appear to be more older students than young ones my age. Seeing the older students made him reflect on how young Lola looks for her age. She looks to be around my age. After eating in the cafeteria all week Xavier was looking forward to a home cooked meal. When he arrived at Lola house, she was taking the lasagna out of the oven. Xavier helps her set the table and carry the serving dishes of food to the table. Lola asked Xavier if he would like a spritzer. Assuming it was a sparkling soda drink, he said yes. Xavier drank several spritzers. It tastes like ginger ale and sprite mixed with agave. He had no idea the drink included white wine. Xavier notices he was talking more than usually but didn’t think much of it. He felt relaxed. Lola was sitting within inches of him on the couch. He loved the smell of her perfume. At one point he laid his head back on the couch. Lola moved closer, then kiss him on the lips. Xavier couldn’t believe how much he loved the kiss and wanted more. He put his open hand behind Lola’s head as he pushed it forward to kiss him again. Xavier wakes up the next morning at 5am, in Lola’s bed. They both were naked. He couldn’t believe he sleep with his mother best friend. This being his first encounter with going all the way without clothes made him feel like a well pleased man. He was filled with emotions and did not know what to say. Lola asked him if he wanted breakfast before going to class. No thanks, replied, Xavier. I have a class at 8am, I need to go shower and prepare for class. Before opening the door to leave, Lola kissed Xavier long and hard. She told him that she enjoyed their night together and that she was looking forward to next Sunday. Xavier smile then said I will see you next Sunday.

    As Xavier was driving back to campus, he begins to think out loud. “I guess that mean I did okay last night and she was well pleased just as I was. Wow, I can’t believe I made love to a woman. Who would have thought my first time would be with a woman; not a girl, and that I would naturally know how to please her. For the entire week, Xavier was feeling like the big man on campus. He kept daydreaming about last Sunday and fantasying about the coming Sunday. Xavier spent every Sunday at Lola’ house eating, drinking spritzers, and having sex with her. At the end of the first semester, Xavier was barely passing with a C average. Xavier forgot his mother was listed in his school files to receive an emailed copy of his grades. Jennifer couldn’t believe what she was reading. She immediately knew something was wrong. How could her son go from a 4.0 “A” student to a “C” student in one semester. She felt he was engaging in some type of outside activities that was distracting him from his schoolwork. I know my son is twenty years of age but as a concern parent, I need to find out what the heck is going on at that school. Xavier calls his mother to informed her that he would be staying on campus at the end of the semester during Christmas break. He tells her that the new semester begins the middle of January and he wanted to use the time to prepare for the new semester. Jennifer tells Xavier that she understands. Little did Xavier know that his mother was planning on making a surprise visit during the winter break. After hanging up the phone with his mother, Xavier packed a bag full of clothes then headed to Lola’ house to spend winter break. Early the next morning, Jennifer leaves her boss a message stating she has an emergency and therefore will not be coming into the office. She enters onto interstate five around 3:30am heading to her son’s college. When she arrives at his dorm around 5:30am, she was told that he went home for the winter break. Confused, Jennifer did not know what to do. She decided to go to her best friend house to get advice on how to handle the situation. Jennifer knew Lola works from home and pretty much set her own scheduled; therefore, she did not feel bad about showing up unannounced. Jennifer parked on the streets. She noticed there wasn’t any cars in the driveway. Then remember that Lola was one of the few people who actually use the garage to park her car. Jennifer rang the doorbell several times before Lola open the door with a sleepy surprised look on her face. Sorry to wake you up Lola, but I ready need to talk with you. Before Lola could say anything, Jennifer pushed pass her friend then proceed to walk towards the living room. As Jennifer sat on the couch, she noticed her son’s coat was lying over the back of a chair facing the couch. A few minutes later, she hears her son shouting from upstairs asking Lola if everything was alright; and to hurry back upstairs because papa was standing at attention and was in need of TLC. Jennifer ran up the stairs to find her son lying naked in Lola’s bed. Xavier threw cover over his private parts then shouted “Mom, what are you doing here?” “This explains why you are failing in school; shouts Jennifer.” She turns to Lola; then shouts “I trusted you with my son; you cradle robber” Jennifer runs out Lola’s house crying. She drives the 2 hours back home. Xavier gets up after his mom leaves. He showers, eat breakfast with Lola, then packed his bags to go home for the winter break. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to his mother but knew he had to fix what just happen. After arriving home, Xavier explains to his mother how him and Lola end up becoming intimate friends. Jennifer grabs her son by both hands. She looked him in his eyes as she spoke. “Look son, you may be freshly off milk; however, you are still being spoon fed. Your heart is young. Young heart run free; you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t’ be a fool for love when love doesn’t love you. Son, sex isn’t love. It’s an emotional act that supposed to express in a physical way the love two people have for each other; however, people engage in sex as a fun thing to do. When this happens, it can distract people from life’s purpose causing them to delay or lose what is important and significant for their life. Lola is using you because you are young, and green behind the ears, which means she can train you to be what she desires in bed. Because this is your first time, you are emotionally attracted to someone who will eventually leave you confused, hurt, and broken. Please young heart don’t be a fool for love that don’t love you.        

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  • The Secret Place

    The Secret Place

  • You should know better!

    You should know better!

    How do one know better when one hasn’t been taught better?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Bobby is a fifty-year-old man-child who can’t seem to get over his mother telling him through-out his childhood “You should know better”. Many incidents in his life have trigger this time in his childhood, causing it to remain a fresh wound in his side. Bobby wants to marry the love of his life Leona; however, his fiancé has postponed the wedding several times due to Bobby inability to deal with his childhood trauma. Bobby is ten years Leona senior. They have been dating for five years and engaged for two years. Bobby has never been in relationship with a woman who can woo him the way Leona does. He wants the fellows to know she is off the market and belong only to him.

    Leona loves Bobby and wants to spend forever with him. She is concern about his lack in common sense and judgement. She finds herself talking to him in the same manner as her ten-year-old son from a previous relationship. She asked Bobby to join with her in getting counseling by a license professional. Bobby is hesitant but agreed. Leona used her resources at the clinic where she works to find a husband-and-wife duo who are both licensed psychologists. She wanted to make sure her and Bobby both feels heard, understood, and validated. Leona finds a husband-and-wife duo who has been privately counseling couples for over ten years. Each of the duo works separately with a mental health organization. Leona reads the duo’s bio to Bobby, for his consent before scheduling an appointment.

    Bobby and Leona arrive twenty minutes prior to their appointment time. They were called into the office ten minutes after completing and signing all documents in the new patient packet. As they enter the room, the duo psychologists were sitting in matching chairs that faced a long couch. Both doctors stood to greet Bobby and Leona before asking them to have a sit on the couch. Each of the duo’s took five minutes to introduce themselves and give a brief statement of their medical history and credentials. The husband duo goes by the name of Dr. G; his wife goes by the name of Dr. Greenwood. Dr. G explains how each counseling sessions would go as far as formality. He states, because today’s session is only a consultation, they are meeting to hear from each separately on why they feel counseling is needed. Dr. G asked Bobby, why was he seeking counseling? As Bobby paused to think about the question and put his thoughts together, Leona started to speak for him. Dr. Greenwood interrupted Leona expressing in a very politic way, Bobby has a voice; allow him to use it. Bobby was surprised that statement came from Dr. Greenwood instead of her husband; but was happy she spoke up because Leona always steps in to talk for him without his consent. Bobby clears his throat before speaking. “Well, my initial reason for coming to counseling is because Leona suggested it as a stipulation to us getting marry. After she read each of your bios to me, I realized you both may be able to help us with some issues we are having. I love Leona very much and want to be with her forever. However, there is times she talks to me like I am her son. When she does this, it triggers hurtful memories of my mother making me feel less than adequate.” “Thank you for sharing, Bobby, states Dr. G. We will explore your triggers in counseling. Our goal is to help you use tools that lessen the effect and power of the triggers.” Bobby nods his head in agreement with Dr. “G.” Dr. Greenwood asked Leona her reason for counseling. “Leona states, I have one son. I do not want to feel like I am marrying my son. I must always think for Bobby or guide him like a child. I want him to take the initiative and lead with wisdom.” Leona, do you love Bobby asked Dr. Greenwood. “Yes, I love him very much.” Dr. G thank each of them for coming and sharing their need for counseling.  He expressed how counseling will benefit them both. He suggested that they counsel with him and his wife once a week for one hour per counseling session. Bobby and Leona agreed with Dr. G. The doctors’ assistant was called into the office to escort Bobby and Leona to the receptionist desk to set up their weekly counseling sessions.

    One week from the date of the consultation, Bobby and Leona are sitting in front of Dr. G and his wife to begin their counseling. Dr. G opens the counseling session by asking Bobby what happen in his childhood that causes him to become trigger. “Well, Dr. G, states Bobby, I was raised by a single mother who did not have any living relatives other than an aunt. My father died when I was four years old. My mother never re-married. As her only child, my mother placed a great deal of responsibilities on me starting at the age of ten. She took me to the local store in our small hometown in Mississippi to work. Every day before and after school, I would clean the store, stack the shelves, help the customers and run errands for one dollar a day. Back in those days a dollar was a lot of money. The store owner paid me once a week. Many times, I would have to purchase goods from the store with a list given to me by my mother. I had the responsibility of making sure the owner gives me the correct balance owed to me after subtracting the cost of the goods from my pay. Each week, my mother would yell at me because the owner would cheat me out of a quarter or two. My mother would say, “you should know better”, you are the man of the house and should know when someone is cheating you.” Dr. G asked Bobby did he receive a receipt from the store owner? Also, did he know the cost of the items purchased? “Bobby replied to Dr. G question: no, I did not know the cost of the items purchased. There was no label on the food items or the shelves listing the cost. The owner would ring up each item purchased by a customer before telling them the total amount due. The cash registered was old; it never had receipt paper.” “How did you feel after your mother would yell at you, asked Dr. G.” “I would feel bad for not knowing I was being cheated, as well as, for not having the courage to ask the store owner for the total cost so I can use the arithmetic I was learning in school to figure out the balance owed to me. I feared the owner would fire me if I questioned him. My mother and I ready needed the food items and money I made at the store. As I grew into a teenager, my mother would yell at me for coming home late from the store because I would hang out with my friends after work. She would yell if I did not properly repaired things around the house. She would always say I should know better. I did not know how to please my mother. I felt like, I was a big disappointment to my mother for not knowing better.” “At what age did you leave home, asked Dr. G.” “I couldn’t wait to leave home at the age of eighteen. I enlisted in the army on my eighteenth birthday. Two months after enlisting I was living on base in North Carolina.” “Bobby, do you know the highest grade level your mother completed, asked Dr. G”. “I’m not sure. I do know she did not finish high school. I would hear my aunt and mother talking about working at the age of twelve cleaning people houses. My mother was a self-made seamstress. This is how she made money until the day she died.” “Bobby, what I am about to say is not to make light of how you felt based on what you experience. Also, I am not making an excuse for your mother’s actions. Given your mother’s level of education, I believe your perception of her choice of words combined with the tone she used did not match what she was expressing. People from the South who lived in small towns, articulated themselves using phrases and words that were defined to have a different meaning, in the dictionary, from how they used the word or phrase to express a situation or incident. I believe your mother was expressing her hurt for you not having your father to teach you. Given the level of education, her expression came out as “you should know better”. I believe her heart was crying out, your father should have been there to teach you better. I do not believe your mother felt her ten-year-old son was to automatically have the knowledge and wisdom to be all knowing. Although, your dad was not living at the time, it does not prevent your mother for being angry at him for leaving her to raise a son without the skills to teach you how to be a man. In essence, your mother was lashing out at your father without realizing how it was affecting you.” “What you are saying Dr. G makes sense. My mother told me on her death bed that she was proud of me. She said that no one taught me how to be a man; but nonetheless, I walked in a man’s shoes from an early age:  And, I had done an outstanding job without a teacher. What you just stated has given me clarity to the words my mother spoken on her death bed. Thank you, Dr. G.,”

    “Having Bobby go first in the counseling session was to shine light on the potential issue that could be the root cause of the problem you two are having in your relationship, states Dr. Greenwood.” The doctor explained that it difficult for a man to put what he is feeling into words especially when the woman goes first and the man must listen to what he proceeds as negative talk against him. The woman usually gets more clarity when she listens to the man speaks first. “Tell me Leona, how do you feel about what Bobby said?” “Well, what he said has provided clarity on the triggers. I now realize that I am a contributor to his triggers. I talk to him the same way I talk to my son. I often tell them both “they should know better”; without taking into consideration, how can they know better if they haven’t been taught better. This session has opened my eyes. I now realized; I haven’t taken any time with my son teaching him to do the things I expect him to know to do. Also, I haven’t talk to him about what is morally right and what is morally wrong; yet I expect him to automatically know. I would often say to him and Bobby, why did you do that; you should know better. I think as parents, we think common sense is to make up for our lack in teaching or training our kids; especially our boys when there is no man in the home. As a nurturer by nature, there is this instinct that kicks in for a woman when she gives birth to a child. I think this gives women an upper hand on common sense that we automatic expects from a man.” Leona, you are on the right track states Dr. Greenwood. Communication is the key in both scenarios with your son and with Bobby. It’s not just about communicating, but how you communicate. Always remember to communicate in the same manner you would like for someone to speak to you. The tone would determine if the listener would open the door to what you are saying and learn from it or close the door because the content is too harshly delivered. “I understand Dr. Greenwood. Thank you so much.” Next week we will discuss the change using the tools we have given to you both states Dr. G

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