Let’s talk about it…

“Trina! Don’t let me have to call you a third time. Come eat dinner. You know your siblings is waiting on me to turn my back or walk out the room before they pick from your food. So, get your butt in here now!” “Okay, mama I am coming,” shouts Trina as she keeps trying to pull out her loose baby tooth with her fingers. Trina is the fifth child of ten kids. She did not grow up with her father in the home. He left after her mother gave birth to their sixth child. Although Trina’s mother gave birth to four more kids; their father did not live with them. He would come over and on occasions spend the night. Trina’s house was always busy with ten kids running around; complaining and fighting over everything. Trina’s mother would escape from the noise by spending the majority of her time locked in her bedroom.

Trina was the meekest of all her siblings. She has always been compassionate, patient, considerate and giving. Throughout Trina school days, classmates thought they could use her as an example to show off with other students by flexing their muscles and bucking up against her. Those classmates soon found out, she only turns the cheek once before showing them that living with nine very aggressive siblings has taught her a thing or two in defending herself. This pattern in behavior from people followed Trina into her adult life.

Trina never worked at any job less than six years. She always noticed there was a pattern in her co-workers’ behavior towards her meekness. They always made her the butt of their jokes when they were around other co-workers. Trina normally would smile as she shakes her head before walking away. She did not take a lot of things offensively. Although the person was trying to be offensive, Trina accepted the fact that this is how people act especially around someone who is meek. There has never been a time in her adult life that a least one person among the crowd did not act in this manner with a meek person. Trina called these people bullies. She realized early on in life, that bullies love when the spotlight is on them. And they all seem to follow the same method in having the light shine on them. They would find the meekest person they know within their friend circle to embarrass or make the butt of their jokes. Because in their mines, meekest means weakness. The funny thing is that the bully would act totally different when they were one on one with Trina. They would be the nicest, kindest person to be around. But babe, babe, when someone else joined the mix; it was lights, camera, and action time in the mind of the bully.

Trina is usually a strong person and takes what the “spot-light-bully-hoers” do to her with ease. Yes, she nicked named them “Spot-light-bully-hoers”. One day when Trina was alone in her backyard sipping on a glass of wine reminiscing about the pattern of the “Spot-light-bully-hoers” towards her meekness. She reflects on a time in elementary school when she tried to act like a “Spot-light-bully-hoer” with a classmate. She wanted to know what the people gained from acting that way. She wanted to see if it would make her feel good about herself; or powerful. So, she decided to pick on scary Susy who everyone picks on. Usually, Trina was one of the few classmates who was kind to Susy; and would talk to her. Trina wanted to impress the new girl in class by making Susy the butt of the joke and by demanding that Susy bring her a quarter to school the next day in order to not whop her butt. Trina ends up being the butt of the joke when Susy laughed at her in front of everyone. Susy did not take Trina seriously. The new girl tried to get Trina to fight Susy for laughing and not taking her serious; but Trina couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bring herself to hurt Susy for doing nothing to her. Trina realized she wasn’t cut out to be this type of person. Because Trina did not follow through with whopping Susy butt as she was instructed by the new girl; the new girl perceived that Trina was weak and felt she could make a name for herself by picking a fight with Trina after school. Baby girl soon realized that Trina was not weak. Trina kicked the new girl butt up and down the street in front of the school. From that lesson Trina realized she was different. Even scary Susy could see she was different. Trina no longer tried to fit into the status of the “Spot-Light-bully-Hoers”. Trina laughs out loud among herself as she thought back on that time of her life in elementary school when scary Susy laughed at her trying to be a bully.

In Trina’s adult life, she has always been caring and giving to her friends; even if they had moments of using her to gain fame as a “Spot-Light-Bully-Hoer”. What hurt Trina is when someone whom she felt was a dear friend plotted to destroy her character and name due to jealousy. Barbara Jean and Trina had been close friends for over thirty years. They never missed a day talking on the phone to each other. They always were out shopping together; attending events together. Also, they went to college together; took the same classes together in college; volunteer for the same non-profits. They were two peas in a pot. Trina had no idea her best friend was a snake in the grass hiding her true authentic self. Barbara Jean would try to defame Trina’s character with lies. Barbara Jean would secretly influence Trina kids into thinking their mom was too strict and was trying to hold them back in life from having fun. Trina kids would always want to hang out at Barbara Jean house with her kids. Trina did not think anything of it because both families were close. Barbara Jean knew that Trina had an important event to handle at her job around the same time of her daughter’s graduation from high school. Barbara Jean talked Trina into allowing her to take her daughter shopping for a dress, shoes and to get her hair done. Trina was so happy her friend step in to help out. She trusts her friend would know exactly the appropriate attire for graduation. To Trina surprise, when she shows up at her daughter’s graduation; her daughter was wearing a mini halter top dress with no bra; her bare back was without a shawl to cover her shoulders. And she was wearing red 4-inch heels with matching make up. Because Trina’s daughter was not used to walking in high heels, she walked like someone who had been drinking an alcohol beverage, and she looked like someone who had been walking the streets all night. After the graduation when Trina tried to express to her daughter her clothing was not appropriate for a high school graduation, her daughter moves out the home to live with Barbara Jean. It took Trina’s daughter six months of living with Barbara Jean to find out, Barbara Jean was no friend to her mom. She would overhear Barbara Jean talk on the phone about her mother. She couldn’t believe the nasty things she would overhear Barbara Jean say about her mother. Trina’s daughter realized that Barbara Jean used her to hurt her mother. She felt so bad and ashamed that she had participated in hurting her mom. That experience eventually bought Trina and her daughter closer together. Trina was able to gain insight as to why people had changed towards her in a negative way without them having a problem with each other. Trina’s daughter overheard Barbara Jean lie on her mother by talking about her mother’s character, morals, and beliefs in a negative way.

Trina always noticed that Barbara Jean strived to outdo her or be better than her in their shared endeavors. Trina was not a competitive person; so, it did not bother her. She strives to just give her best for the cause not to compete. Soon after Trina’s daughter had informed her about the hate and lies that Barbara Jean was spreading about her; other people begin to express the same to Trina. These people would caution Trina by letting her know that Barbara Jean was not a true friend to her. Trina was hurt and did not understand what she had done to warrant this type of treatment from Barbara Jean. As Trina begin to spend time mediating and praying about the situation with Barbara Jean; she had a dream. In the dream, Trina could clearly see that Barbara Jean was jealous of her demeanor and spirit, as well as, her willingness to help others without expecting anything in return. She was jealous of people complimenting Trina’s work performance and her organization skills. She was jealous of Trina housekeeping skills; Trina was very picky about keeping a clean house and she is a good cook who was constantly entertaining family and friends at her home. Barbara Jean was especially jealous of what she perceived as the favor of God on Trina’s life; simply because Trina would pray about something and it appears to Barbara Jean that God answer Trina’s prayers right away. When Trina confronted Barbara Jean about all she had heard and learned about her being against her; Barbara Jean did not deny it; she simply ends her friendship with Trina by ghosting her. Barbara Jean ending their friendship confirmed to Trina that all she heard and received spiritually was true. Trina refuses to allow the way Barbara Jean feels about her cause any discomfort in her life. Trina bought closers to the relationship by praying in private for her ex-friend.

Trina is a person who is obviously walking in the light of God’s love, and it appears, that is the only light she wants to shine on her. God’s love is a Supernatural, Super Spiritual Love that no one’s hate or lies can manipulate or control. Trina prayed that Barbara Jean diverts her focus to obtaining the light that darkness cannot dim; which is God’s light. Trina hopes that Barbara Jean builds a relationship with God so that she can see that God’s love and favor is for all who accepts it.

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