The elaboration of relationship connections

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Judy Owens is a 2025 award winning author who is an avid reader of all genres of books. Her book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” has won an International Impact Book Award in the category of “Life Experience – Real Life Accounts”. In January 2026 her autobiography titled “The Secret Place: Life Stories of Healing and Hope was published. The books are sold on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Ingram. For more information refer to website: https://bookofrelationship.com
  • I can’t stand the rain against my window bringing back sweet memories.

    I can’t stand the rain against my window bringing back sweet memories.

    Let’s talk about it…

    “It’s Friday night, I do not have to get up early tomorrow; so, what is this girl to do?”  “Mom, are you talking to yourself again asked Barbie, Ruthie’s daughter.” “I can always count on me to reply with wisdom. So, why not talk to myself?” replied Ruthie. Barbie giggle as she kissed her mother on the cheek. “I’m going out with the girls to celebrate a co-worker’s birthday. Don’t wait up. I will see you in the morning” shouts Barbie as she dashes for the door. “Another Friday evening alone,” states Ruthie as she thinks out loud. “I might as well pour myself a glass of wine as I watch the ten o’clock news to see what’s going on in the world.” Forty-five minutes into the news, Ruthie can hear thunder. The weather man did not say it was going to thunder only rain, thought Ruthie. Ruthie turns off the TV, pour another glass of wine as she heads to her bedroom. As Ruthie lays in bed, staring out the window at the rain hitting the window pane, she reminisces about at time in her life when love was so sweet yet complicated. Ruthie thoughts were like looking at an old movie. She recalls in her mind the first time she met Billy.

    Approximately thirty years ago, at the age of twenty-five, Ruthie was working her normal evening shift, at the community hospital, as a nurse assigned to the maturity ward. Her shift scheduled was from 3:00pm to 12 midnight. She was often asked to work an additional four hours because the hospital was short staff working the graveyard shift. During her breaks, Ruthie would often run into Dr. William Black who worked in the ER. Doctor Black would always compliment Ruthie each time he ran into her in the break room. He would tell her; she has beautiful eyes; or beautiful thick hair; or big beautiful legs; or how he loves her hour glass shape. After nearly a year of receiving compliments from Dr. Black, Ruthie would light up with a Hugh Kool-Aid smile each time she would see him approaching her. “Well, Well, Well, nurse Ruthie, so you are capable of smiling” states Dr. Black as he approached her. “Yes doctor, I am.” “You have a beautiful smile, Ruthie; I hope the next time I see you; your smile is still shining bright. It warms my heart.” We will see; states Ruthie as she heads back to work. The next day at work, Dr. Black hand Ruthie a card with his private cell phone number written on the back. He tells her to text him her phone number and the best time to call her. He expressed his interest in getting to know her better. Ruthie did as Dr. Black asked. Ruthie had noted in her text, the best time to contact her by phone is on Sunday’s and Monday’s, her off days. Dr. Black was thrilled to see Ruthie has the same off days as him. Dr. Black called Ruthie on Sunday around 4:00pm. They talked for an hour before Dr. Black asked Ruthie to have dinner with him. He offers to pick her up at 6:30 pm. After hanging up the phone, Ruthie start preparing for her date with Dr. Black. Dr. Black arrives five minutes early. Ruthie asked him to have a seat as she heads upstairs to get her purse and keys.

    At dinner, Dr. Black asked Ruthie to call him Billy. He expressed to her; all his family and friends call him Billy. “I am happy to be included in the same category as family and friends,” states Ruthie with a smile. “If things continued to go as well as tonight’s dinner, you will be placed in an interpersonal category where we are the only members; replied Billy. Ruthie giggle as she whispers, “I will like that.” Because Billy has a heavy accent when he talks, Ruthie asked him his nationality. “I am Bahamian. I was born and raised in the Bahamas. I came to New York at the age of twenty-three to attend medical school. I am in my third year of residency. My plan is to open my own practice and move my family here from the Bahamas after I have completed the five-year residency requirement.” “Do you ever go back home to visit? Asked Ruthie.”  “Yes, I return home every six months for a week. My family is very patience. They are excited about our future here once I completed the residency.” Ruthie was happy for Billy and his family. She assumed his family consist of his parents and younger siblings since he is the oldest child. She never thought to ask him if he was married because he came to New York at the age of twenty-three and is was only twenty-six years of age at the time of their first dinner together.

    Ruthie and Billy spend every Sunday and the first half of the day together on Mondays for the next two years. Billy was a very passionate lover. He made sure she was well pleased. She especially loved making love to him on rainy days. The rain sound like sweet harmonies of music playing in the back ground. Ruthie and Billy would lay in bed together staring out the window at the rain after they finish making love. Ruthie felt she was the luckiest girl in the world. She had a smart young doctor her age whom she felt loves her and she loved him. He was always with her on their off days from work. He catered to her every need. He always complimented her. Although they did not discuss it; Ruthie felt in her heart that Billy will ask her to marry him after he completes his residency. She would picture herself working in his private practice as the head nurse in charge. Ruthie found out she was two months pregnant shortly after Billy completed his residency. She was going to surprise Billy with the information as they discuss their future at dinner. Instead of them having their normal Sunday dinner out at a restaurant, she invited him over to her house for dinner. She found a restaurant that specialize in Caribbean food. She made sure all of Billy’s favorite dishes was catered. Billy started the conversation at dinner. He first honors her for the food and the meal choices she made. Next, he tells her how he had saved enough money to buy a house and to move his family from the Bahamas. Also, him and his family could live comfortable for six months as he establishes his own practice. Ruthie was grinning from ear to ear as Billy talked. As Billy states, he will be moving to Houston in two days to find one large house or two medium-size houses on the same lot to accommodate the size of his family. He thanks Ruthie for helping him get through a very lonely time in his life. He wished her well in her future endeavors. Wait shouts Ruthie, I’m not included in your family. “I cannot have a wife and a concubine live together in one house. My wife wouldn’t have it.” “Wife! Shouts Ruthie.” Yes, I am married states Billy with a confused look on his face. I didn’t know you were married shouts Ruthie. “I’m sure we discussed my family dynamics throughout the course of our relationship.” No, we did not. You made it appeared that you were speaking of your parents and siblings; shouts Ruthie. “Did I make it appeared that way or did you assume it was that way? Asked Billy. Ruthie was speechless, she asked Billy to leave her home. She cried herself to sleep that night. She never told him she was pregnant with their child. As she lay in her bed nearly twenty-five years later listening to the rain hit her window pane, she is wondering if she made a mistake not telling him about their daughter, and for lying to her daughter about her father dying before she was born.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • The Ultimate Betrayal; kissed by a wolf in sheep clothing.

    The Ultimate Betrayal; kissed by a wolf in sheep clothing.

    Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. Do we really know people who is close to us?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Many times, standing on the outside looking in at someone else’s life; it’s easy to recognize when they have a wolf in sheep clothing around them. The wolf can be a close friend or a family member. The wolf projects a persona of always having the back of the person they are around or deceiving. They gain the trust of this person by always agreeing with them, liking what that person likes, as well as hanging out with the person and offering their support. The wolf takes brown nosing to a whole new level when it comes to the person they are deceiving. The wolf is a person who does not like themselves: they have self-esteem issues; therefore, they cling to this person they are deceiving, because they want to emanate that person’s life. They admire everything about that person who is being deceived by them. The wolf wants this person’s life, they admire, to be their reality. They being to talk like the person, act like the person, dress like the person, have the same interest of the person, socialize among the same group of people as the person. When someone within the deceived person social circle doesn’t like the wolf; the wolf tried to discredit that person’s character by talking negative about them to the person they are deceiving. The wolf becomes extremely angry and revengeful towards the person they are trying to discredit when the person they are deceiving continued to be that person friend or appear to be that person’s friend. It is at this point that the wolf shows red flags to the person they are deceiving. The wolf begins to show signs of being controlling and expressing anger when they do not get their way or persuade the thoughts of the person they are deceiving. The deceived person who the wolf admires thoughts change towards the wolf as one in a love/hate relationship. This person must be careful at this point because, the wolf’s obsession with them can become volatile. This is because the wolf fails at controlling or persuading the thoughts the person they are deceiving. When the wolf gets to this level of anger; they will disrobe their sheep clothing; exposing a very dark side to them, very much in the same manner as Judas did to Jesus.

    As it is written in the bible, Jesus selected twelve disciples to assist in spreading the doctrine of faith and repentance. Jesus gave his disciples power against unclean spirits, to cast them out of people and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease. The names of the twelve apostles are Simon 1, who is called Peter; Simon 2, who is a Canaanite; Andrew and John his brothers; James 1 and James 2; Philip; Bartholomew, Thomas; Matthew; Lebbaeus and Judas. These twelve apostles were sent on a mission to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. They were to preach letting the lost sheep know the kingdom of heaven is at hand. They were to heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils by using the power Jesus freely gave to them so that they may freely give to others by way of healing them. Jesus tells his disciples as they go and preach to be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. The focus of this story is going to be on the disciple Judas. Unlike us humans who see the red flags but have trouble discerning them. Jesus, being the son of God, who is both humanity and of the spirit of God, knows that Judas is a wolf in sheep clothing; because Jesus knows Judas has allowed darkness to clothed itself inside of him. Jesus tells them all, that one of them will betray him. They were exceeding sorrowful. Each asked him; Lord is it I? The disciples could not discern the red flags or the devil among them because it was dressed in sheep clothing. They were too busy looking at the outer appearance when it came to those who was closes to them. Keep in mind, when Jesus selected them as a disciple, he gave to them all, power to heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, and cast out devils. Yet, there was a devil among them that only Jesus could discern.

    The disciples knew that the chief priests, the scribes and the elders of the people unto the palace of the high priest had plotted to come together to take Jesus and kill him. Judas being with the spirit of the devil in him went to the chief priests and said unto them “what will you give me if I deliver him to you?” The chief priests made an agreement with Judas to give him thirty pieces of silver. Judas has made this agreement with the chief priests prior to Jesus telling them all that one of them will betray him. It is written in the bible after Jesus tell them all, that one of them will betray him; they were exceeding sorrowful, and asked Jesus “Lord is it I”. Which tells me the devil wrapped himself in Judas only when it was convenient for him. It is written in the bible; if we resist the devil he will flee. The devil knew Judas’ weakness and his weakness would cause him to be acceptable to him, because he wouldn’t be strong enough to resist him. Judas greed for money (thirty pieces of silver) caused him to be acceptable to the devil. Money was his weakness. Judas led the chief priests to Jesus with a sign saying, “Whomsoever that I shall kiss is he”. Judas let the chief priests know, once I kiss him; hold him (Jesus) fast. After the devil removed himself from Judas immediately after betraying Jesus, Judas suddenly realized he was condemned. He could see that the devil left him hanging to face the raft of betraying Jesus. In correcting his wrong, Judas repented for his sinful actions. He tried to undo what he had did by taking the thirty pieces of silver back to the chief priests; telling them that he had sinned in betraying innocent blood. The chief priests tell Judas, what is it to us that you have sinned; we don’t care, that’s on you. Judas was so distraught to what he had done, he tossed the silver pieces on the floor of the temple before hanging himself.

    For us who is standing on the outside observing someone else’s life; and easily recognizing a wolf in sheep clothing influencing a person through deceptional controlling of their mind. It doesn’t matter if the wolf is a close friend or a family member; we need to rebuke the actions of the wolf in prayer and pray for wisdom and discernment of the person who is being deceived. Also, we need to watch by being vigilant of the people we associate with. Make sure your decisions and actions are not being influence by darkness in the same manner as Judas. When a person sows good, they also reap good. When a person sows evil their so call reward will not bring them joy, in the same way Judas thirty pieces of silver did not bring him joy but sorrow.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • In teaching a son to become a man, what is the woman’s role?

    In teaching a son to become a man, what is the woman’s role?

    Because the narrative has changed from one generation to next, it’s apparent that men are no longer teaching their sons how to become a gentleman; therefore, the concept of becoming a man has changed. Because of this narrative changed, mothers are stepping in to teach their sons how to respect and treat a woman.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Twin sisters Malinda and Belinda give birth to their first child within a month apart. Both give birth to sons. Malinda is the oldest twin by five minutes; her son was born one month before her nephew. Although the twins are married, they are really close. Both live in the same neighbor; approximately one mile in distance. They both work for the same company. Their husbands are happy the twins are each other’s best friend. This is because it prevents the husbands from having to deal with the wife’s girlfriend drama, also known as “the outside noise drama”. Because the husbands enjoy hanging out together, the two families would often take family vacations together. It was no surprise to the husbands when they both found out their wives were pregnant at the same time. They called it “A Twin Thing”. Especially when people ask them was it planned by the twins to be pregnant at the same time. “A Twin Thing” life size poster stood at the entrance of the twins combined gender reveal party. Although it was “A Twin Thing” party, the families were surprised to find out, both were having boys. In the words of the husbands; It’s A Twin Thing”.

    When Malinda’s son was three months old; the families had a combined Sip and See party. They invited their closes friends and their families. At the party they played a spin the bottle card game. The guess took turns spinning the bottle on a huge board. The person who spins the bottle had to pull the top card from the deck facing the mouth of the bottle when it stopped. There were several decks of cards going around the board. The spinner had to read out loud the question on the card they pulled. The spinner could answer the question; or pass the question to someone else who wanted to answer the question. A guess pulls a card with the following question: In teaching a son to become a man, what is the woman’s role? This question caused such an uproar, the rules of the game were no longer followed. Everyone had an opinion. The only opinions that matter the most were the fathers of the sons being honor at the Sip and See party. The men shouted in unison over and over again, the old cliché “A woman cannot teach a boy how to become a man”. Malinda and Belinda had to silence everyone so that their husbands could speak.

    Belinda’s husband spoke first. He vowed that he will be the only one teaching his son how to become a man; Period! He states that it is not my wife’s responsibility; Period! Malinda’s husband opinion was slightly different. He also vowed to teach his son how to become a man; however, he made a statement about lacking in key components of manhood because of the absence of his father. He stated his wife was very patience with him when they first started dating because he was lacking in the gentleman skills. He said, “I had to learn how to handle my wife in a manner that was different from how I handled my homies.” He wasn’t ashamed to let everyone know, that it was his wife who actually taught him skills in being a gentleman. From the mouth of Malinda’s husband; “my wife taught me to open doors for her; to pull her chair out in the restaurant before she sits; to walk on the side of traffic down the street with her; to carry heavy items for her; to take out the trash; especially when she is the one cleaning the entire house after us both. To make sure her car has gas and the maintenance is up to date; to be mindful of my voice and tone when I had a bad day at work. She should not be the scapegoat to lash out on because of my bad day. She helps me understand I am to give to my queen what she is giving to me; which is respect, peace, joy, and love. My wife taught me how something as simple as clear communications can prevent misunderstandings by jumping to the wrong conclusion based on false perceptions. Let me tell you all this; states Malinda’s husband, these principles I learned from my wife is the primary cause of us having a loving, happy and successful marriage for ten years. For this reason, I feel my wife play a role in raising our son in becoming a gentleman. As far as becoming a man in the aspect of protecting, providing and how he is to move about in the streets or among his buddies; I got this.

    By the time the two cousins were twenty-five; Belinda’s son has a total of five kids with four baby mamas. He does not get along with any of his baby mamas or paid any child support. He feels it is the mother job to raise the kids; therefore, he declines going to school events, giving his kids birthday parties; taking them to the local park; to amusement parks or anything that involves him being alone with his kids. He hangs out in the streets with his homies when he is not working his security job. Malinda’s son has been married for two years. Him and his wife gave birth to twins; a boy and girl. Malinda’s son and daughter-in-law both work for major corporations. They have a loving, close family unit.

    As Belinda reflects back on how similar her and her twin sister lifestyles were; she couldn’t help but realized the difference in how they raise their sons set the tone for their son’s future. Belinda makes it a point, in discussions with her women’s empowering group, to ask all current and future mama’s; what tone are they setting for their kids? The power is in your hands and yours alone. Your kids are depending on you to pave the way that is in their best interest, and that she had to learn the hard way that a mother influence, as well as the father’s, is a powerful part of the child development in preparation for life. She tells them all; I honor you. I salute you. Be Blessed in your journey in setting the tone for your children as their parents.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  •  Accountability is a great start to healing.

     Accountability is a great start to healing.

    When the actions of a person separate them from their family, total healing comes when that person takes accountability for their actions.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Bobby has always been an unsettled kid growing up. At a young age he was abandon by his birth mother because she allowed her demons to take president over her being a parent. Her actions caused her to be absence from her son’s life; especially in his informative years when a child needs their birth mother the most. Prior to being joined with a blood relative, Bobby had experienced the abuse of being in the home of strangers who only sees him as a pay check. They physically abused him; spent no money on him and allowed him to go hungry as a form of punishment. By the time Bobby’s aunt was legally able to rescue him from the home of his abuser; he was broken and did not trust anyone. Bobby’s aunt having a son the same age as him made it difficult for him to adjust. This is because Bobby believed his aunt would always treat her birth son better than him. It was a challenging time for Bobby’s aunt to take in a child who was emotionally and psychologically trouble due to his experience; however, she vowed before God to love Bobby in the same manner as her birth son. Also, she vowed to raise Bobby with the same Godly principles; and to discipline him with love. The aunt knew it was important to not use the abuse Bobby received as a crutch by allowing him to think rules doesn’t apply to him. Also, the aunt had to show him the same fundamental core values as was shown to her son. The aunt strongly believed in communication and would often express to Bobby why she did or did not do something his way. For example:

    At the start of school, Christmas and Easter both boys would get new clothes at the same time. Both were able to pick out their outfits and received equal in pieces as well as new shoes. However, Bobby was harder on shoes than his cousin. Because of this, Bobby would get a new pair of shoes more often or sooner than his cousin. Bobby would feel special because he was the only one receiving new shoes and felt it was because he had favorite over his cousin. Although the aunt would express to Bobby the reason, he is the only one receiving new shoes is because he needs them. However, when Bobby’s cousin needed new shoes, Bobby became anger for not getting a new pair at the same time as his cousin. Bobby verbally expressed that he feels his cousin was being shown favoritism. It did not matter that the aunt has explained to Bobby that her budget does not allow for both boys to receive new shoes when only one person is in need of shoes. Bobby’s aunt stuck to her parenting principles; she refused to allow the kids to dictate or set the ground rules for how she parented them.

    Often times the aunt would allow the boys to pick out personal snacks as well as ice cream to last them a week until their next shopping day. The aunt used this as a form in teaching the boys how to budget their supplies. Bobby would sneak and eat all his snacks in two to three days; then he would become anger because his aunt would not buy him additional snacks to last him for the remaining days in the week. Once again, he felt his cousin was being shown favoritism. One day Bobby’s aunt could hear the boys having a discussion on love and favoritism. The boys came running to the aunt/mom asking her who do she love the most among them two. Without hesitation, the aunt immediately said “I love you both equal”. Bobby asked how can you love us both the same? The aunt replied because love is unmeasurable. God loves all his children the same. He might not bless us all at the same time or in the same way; however, he loves us all the same and he gave his only begotten son for the remission of sin to all who believe.

    Because Bobby has always been a trouble child through-out elementary school, his aunt was constantly summons to his school to handle one outburst after another. Nevertheless, his aunt was not giving up on him. She put him in sports, purchased him pet animals of his choice, like a guinea pig that she ends up taking care of; nonetheless she wasn’t giving up. God did not give up on her and she refused to give up on Bobby. As Bobby grew into his teen years, he begins to gravitate to the street life by hanging out with boys in the neighborhood that was known for breaking into people houses. The security in their housing community caught him with the same boys as well as with cutters that the fire department uses to break through chained gates and locks. Because security knew Bobby’s aunt as a peaceful tenant, they decided to take him home to his aunt rather than hand him over with the other boys to the police. Security informed the aunt that Bobby will only receive this pass once.  Security expressed to the aunt, if Bobby is caught being a threat to the community again; she would be asked to move or be evicted by the management company. Bobby was becoming more than his relative could handle as a single parent. She sent him to live with the strongest woman she knew; her mother. Bobby lived with his grandmother for a few months until he was accepted in Job Corp.

    After completing two years in Job Corp, Bobby went to live with his uncle. Because of the environment, he joined with the wrong crowd and started using drugs. For years, Bobby would deny he was on drugs. He would come to his aunt house high on drugs. His aunt felt uncomfortable with his behavior when he was high, she would occasionally get him a motel room when other relatives would put him out for being high and irate. She would buy him food but did not feel comfortable giving him money. Bobby was in and out of jail. Also, in and out of half way houses, as well as, in and out of different drug rehab centers. After years of getting high, Bobby fought the good fight of faith. He got clean off drugs.

    In his soberness, he got a job, an apartment, a new car and a new outlook on life. He is a pleasant person to talk with. His spirit is full of joy. His aunt understands he was a product of his pain; she knew his pain was his reason for self-medicating with drugs.  Now that he is sober, he is battling with playing the blame game. Bobby refuses to take accountability for his actions while on drugs. He refuses to understand why his family had to distance themselves while he was on drugs. Although Bobby believes aunt loves him, he insists on believing his aunt gave favor to her birth son over him. When asked why he believes she favor her birth son over him; Bobby’s replied it’s because when her birth son went to jail at the age of nineteen, she bailed him out but did not bail me out. Which is totally not true. Bobby’s cousin was living with his father when he went to jail for three months. The ex-husband and the son hid it from Bobby’s aunt that her son was in jail. The ex-husband did not tell the mother until the son was offer an early released from jail if he could afford to pay a small monthly fee to be monitor by wearing an angle monitor. Bobby’s mother agreed to pay the monthly fee for six months. This option was not offer to Bobby as far as his aunt knew.

    The life lesson the aunt thought she was teaching Bobby end up being a life lesson for herself. She realized although Bobby was now grown and has been delivered from drugs, he was not reformed in the renewing of his mind. Bobby was wearing his pain like a tight glove. It had become his badge of honor. It is what connected him to his birth mother. The aunt had to accept the fact that Bobby blaming her, the one person who rescued him from the hands of his abuser and loved him like he is her birth child, as well as, reunited him back with his relatives could not replace the absence and pain of being separated from his birth mother. Nevertheless, the aunt vowed continue to love him and pray for him. He will forever be her son; it doesn’t matter if she did not give birth to him. 

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Unannounced Pop Ups. WT*!

    Unannounced Pop Ups. WT*!

    Why do people who never let you know where they live or invite you to their home are always popping up at your house unannounced.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Hurry up boys, you are going to be late for practice; shouts Glenda as she gathers the snacks for her sons’ football team. Glenda’s two sons, ages 13 and 15, have been playing football at their local park little league since the ages of five. This year, Glenda was nominated as team mom. She is responsible for bringing refreshments and helping with administration duties. Glenda’s plate was full prior to taking on the responsibilities as team mom. She couldn’t back out of being chosen as team mom because she was the only mom who hadn’t volunteer in the past. Glenda is happy football season is over. She was so tire of her phone ringing none stop because moms never read the written material given to them; yet would call her to ask the same questions. Which days this week is practice? What time does practice start? Do they have any games schedule this month? If so, when; where and what time? Football season is over and Glenda is jumping with joy. She is happy to have her normal busy life back.

    As Glenda was leaving work, she realized she had forgotten to take meat out the freezer for dinner. Oh well, thought Glenda; it’s Friday, I just got paid, I will stop for fast food and a bottle of wine to celebrate the end of football season. When Glenda arrives home, her sons were in their room playing video games. She shouts upstairs to let them know she was home and had picked up dinner. She asked them to wash their hands and set the table while she puts on some comfortable clothes. Just as Glenda and her sons set down to eat, the doorbell rings. She asked her oldest son to answer the door. She thought it was probably one of her son’s friends. To her surprise, it was one of the mothers from her sons’ football team. “Hi JoAnn, is everything okay, asked Glenda.” “Call me Jo; everyone calls me Jo replied JoAnn. Yes, everything is okay. Curtis went to his dad’s house for the weekend, so I thought I would come over to visit.” Oh, okay states Glenda with a confused look on her face. “You also have a daughter, right Jo.” “Yeah, she went on a date with her boyfriend.” “I see, replied Glenda. Well, my sons and I were preparing the table for dinner.” “Don’t let me stop you, I can sit in your living room until you all are finish.” “I tell you what, why don’t you join us for dinner.” “Sure,” shouts Jo, as she takes a seat at the table. Glenda asks her youngest son to escort Jo to the kitchen sink so she can wash her hands. When they returned, Glenda asked Jo if she eats fried chicken, mash potatoes with gravy and steamed broccoli. “Oh yeah, I am a country girl. I love fried food.” After dinner, Jo sat and drank wine with Glenda. The two discussed their kids football season. They sat and talked for three hours after dinner. Glenda was tire from the long work week. Is this lady not going to go home thought Glenda. I don’t want to be rude by telling her to go home. What the heck to I do. Finally, it came to Glenda what to say. “Jo, I am feeling really tire from my long week; so, I am going to go take a bath before going to bed.” “I guess it is getting late; I better go, replied Jo.” After escorting Jo to the door; Glenda thought to herself, what the heck was that all about? I did not know any of the moms knew my address.

    The next day, at exactly 6:00pm, the doorbell rings at Glenda’s home. Glenda was upstairs in her room when she hears her youngest son shouts up the stairs; “mom, Ms. Jo is here.” You got to be kidding me; thought Glenda. “I will be right there, shouts Glenda.” “Hi Jo, did you forget something from last night?” “No. I had such a good time visiting with you, I thought to myself, why not hang out with Glenda again tonight.” “Oh, wow! How thoughtful of you, states Glenda. Well, I was just about to put some burgers, corn-on-cob, and asparagus on the grill for dinner.” “I’m just in time to help, replied Jo.” As Glenda was setting the dinner table, she asked Jo where did she live. “Only a mile from you, replied Jo.” “Where is a mile away? I am asking your exact location.” Jo gave only her cross streets, not her address. Wow! Thought Glenda; is she homeless, or ashamed of where she lives. I don’t understand why she doesn’t want anyone to know exactly where she lives. Glenda decided she would inquire about Jo’s home life after dinner. As the two ladies sat in the backyard sipping on wine after dinner; Glenda asked Jo was she married or have a sufficient other. “I’m not marry, my boyfriend moved in with me and my kids approximately three years ago.” “Does, your boyfriend work nights; asked Glenda.” “No, replied Jo.” “What does he do for a living asked Glenda.” “He works in the automotive industry replied Jo.” “What do you do for a living asked Glenda.” “I work for a hotel.” I don’t understand all the vague replies to my questions. What is this woman hiding and why does she want to hang out at my house; thought Glenda. Once again, Glenda had to tell Jo that she was tire in order to get her to go home.

    The next day was Sunday, Glenda and her sons spent the evening at her parents’ house. Upon arriving home at 8:00pm, she could see on her security camera system that Jo had rang her doorbell at exactly 6:00pm for approximately 15 minutes before leaving. What is this lady problem; thought Glenda. I need to get to the bottom of this. The next morning as Glenda was dropping her sons off at school before heading to work; she tells her boys, from this day forward I need you both to check the security camera before answering the door. If it is Ms. Jo, do not open the door or shout through the door that you have to go get your mother. I need you both to simply ignore the door and I will handle Ms. Jo in private at a time that is convenience for me. Okay, replied Glenda’s son. “What is going on?” Asked Glenda’s oldest son. “I don’t know, but I plan on finding out. Ms. Jo, has been coming to our house every night since Friday at exactly 6:00pm. She doesn’t tell me exactly where she lives. I’m sensing something has to be wrong with her living situation and she is using my house as an escape from her reality. I have to think about you two safety and her actions is causing me to be alarm.” “Mom, I know where Ms. Jo lives;” states Glenda oldest son. “You do!” “Yes, her son Curtis text me the address after inviting me over to play a video game with him. Shortly after texting me his address, he called me to say he couldn’t have any company and he would see me at football practice.” “Forward his address to my phone son.” “Okay mom.” Glenda decided she would wait until Saturday before making an unannounced visit to Jo’s home. Every day prior to Saturday, Jo would come to Glenda’s house at 6:00pm and ring the doorbell for approximately 15 minutes. Sometimes she would go sit in her car for ten minutes then come back and ring the bell again. On Saturday, Glenda got up early to get the day started. After preparing breakfast and doing some light house cleaning and washing clothes; she ran a few errands. Around 3:00pm she drives the 1 mile to Jo’s house. To Glenda’s surprise, Jo has a big beautiful home. Glenda goes to the front door and rings the bell twice after checking out her surroundings. She had bought maze with her; not knowing what she was walking into. Jo’s son Curtis answers the door. “Hello, Ms. Glenda, let me get my mom for you.” Glenda steps inside the door before Curtis could say come in or wait here. Their home was neat and clean. Curtis ran up their stairs to get his mom. He didn’t do what Glenda’s sons do, which is holla up the stairs to let her know when someone was at the door. Jo, came storming down the stairs looking like a she was possessed with the seed of chucky. She did not greet Glenda with hello, a smile, or say welcome to my home. She proceeded to yell at her in a very harsh arrogant tone. “What the hell are you doing at my house unannounced? Are you dense or what? Don’t you know this is the 21st century; people don’t show up at other people home unannounced; especially if they haven’t been invited. Maybe you need to take a course in proper etiquettes. So, get the hell out of my house and do not come back unless you have been invited.” Glenda was speechless, she did not say a word as she left Jo’s home. That same evening at exactly 6:00pm Jo’s rings the doorbell at Glenda’s home. Glenda went to get her maze before answering her door. After opening the door, she asked Jo, what the hell are you doing at my home after the way you talked to me about coming to your house unannounced. “My bad, shouts Jo. I don’t like people coming to my house unannounced.” Then she proceeds to push pass Glenda to come into her house. Glenda shoulder bumped Jo pushing her back from entering her home. “Hell to the No, shouts Glenda. You have the wrong one sister. You do not get to come to my house and receive what you do not give at your home. I suggest if you don’t want a problem with me; get the hell off my property. People like you, have no place in my life and especially not in my home. Do not ever come to my home again shouts Glenda as she slams the door in Jo’s face.” That was the end of the beginning of their friendship.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  •  Your Love! Your Love! Supernatural; Super Spiritual Thing!

     Your Love! Your Love! Supernatural; Super Spiritual Thing!

    Let’s talk about it…

    “Trina! Don’t let me have to call you a third time. Come eat dinner. You know your siblings is waiting on me to turn my back or walk out the room before they pick from your food. So, get your butt in here now!” “Okay, mama I am coming,” shouts Trina as she keeps trying to pull out her loose baby tooth with her fingers. Trina is the fifth child of ten kids. She did not grow up with her father in the home. He left after her mother gave birth to their sixth child. Although Trina’s mother gave birth to four more kids; their father did not live with them. He would come over and on occasions spend the night. Trina’s house was always busy with ten kids running around; complaining and fighting over everything. Trina’s mother would escape from the noise by spending the majority of her time locked in her bedroom.

    Trina was the meekest of all her siblings. She has always been compassionate, patient, considerate and giving. Throughout Trina school days, classmates thought they could use her as an example to show off with other students by flexing their muscles and bucking up against her. Those classmates soon found out, she only turns the cheek once before showing them that living with nine very aggressive siblings has taught her a thing or two in defending herself. This pattern in behavior from people followed Trina into her adult life.

    Trina never worked at any job less than six years. She always noticed there was a pattern in her co-workers’ behavior towards her meekness. They always made her the butt of their jokes when they were around other co-workers. Trina normally would smile as she shakes her head before walking away. She did not take a lot of things offensively. Although the person was trying to be offensive, Trina accepted the fact that this is how people act especially around someone who is meek. There has never been a time in her adult life that a least one person among the crowd did not act in this manner with a meek person. Trina called these people bullies. She realized early on in life, that bullies love when the spotlight is on them. And they all seem to follow the same method in having the light shine on them. They would find the meekest person they know within their friend circle to embarrass or make the butt of their jokes. Because in their mines, meekest means weakness. The funny thing is that the bully would act totally different when they were one on one with Trina. They would be the nicest, kindest person to be around. But babe, babe, when someone else joined the mix; it was lights, camera, and action time in the mind of the bully.

    Trina is usually a strong person and takes what the “spot-light-bully-hoers” do to her with ease. Yes, she nicked named them “Spot-light-bully-hoers”. One day when Trina was alone in her backyard sipping on a glass of wine reminiscing about the pattern of the “Spot-light-bully-hoers” towards her meekness. She reflects on a time in elementary school when she tried to act like a “Spot-light-bully-hoer” with a classmate. She wanted to know what the people gained from acting that way. She wanted to see if it would make her feel good about herself; or powerful. So, she decided to pick on scary Susy who everyone picks on. Usually, Trina was one of the few classmates who was kind to Susy; and would talk to her. Trina wanted to impress the new girl in class by making Susy the butt of the joke and by demanding that Susy bring her a quarter to school the next day in order to not whop her butt. Trina ends up being the butt of the joke when Susy laughed at her in front of everyone. Susy did not take Trina seriously. The new girl tried to get Trina to fight Susy for laughing and not taking her serious; but Trina couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bring herself to hurt Susy for doing nothing to her. Trina realized she wasn’t cut out to be this type of person. Because Trina did not follow through with whopping Susy butt as she was instructed by the new girl; the new girl perceived that Trina was weak and felt she could make a name for herself by picking a fight with Trina after school. Baby girl soon realized that Trina was not weak. Trina kicked the new girl butt up and down the street in front of the school. From that lesson Trina realized she was different. Even scary Susy could see she was different. Trina no longer tried to fit into the status of the “Spot-Light-bully-Hoers”. Trina laughs out loud among herself as she thought back on that time of her life in elementary school when scary Susy laughed at her trying to be a bully.

    In Trina’s adult life, she has always been caring and giving to her friends; even if they had moments of using her to gain fame as a “Spot-Light-Bully-Hoer”. What hurt Trina is when someone whom she felt was a dear friend plotted to destroy her character and name due to jealousy. Barbara Jean and Trina had been close friends for over thirty years. They never missed a day talking on the phone to each other. They always were out shopping together; attending events together. Also, they went to college together; took the same classes together in college; volunteer for the same non-profits. They were two peas in a pot. Trina had no idea her best friend was a snake in the grass hiding her true authentic self. Barbara Jean would try to defame Trina’s character with lies. Barbara Jean would secretly influence Trina kids into thinking their mom was too strict and was trying to hold them back in life from having fun. Trina kids would always want to hang out at Barbara Jean house with her kids. Trina did not think anything of it because both families were close. Barbara Jean knew that Trina had an important event to handle at her job around the same time of her daughter’s graduation from high school. Barbara Jean talked Trina into allowing her to take her daughter shopping for a dress, shoes and to get her hair done. Trina was so happy her friend step in to help out. She trusts her friend would know exactly the appropriate attire for graduation. To Trina surprise, when she shows up at her daughter’s graduation; her daughter was wearing a mini halter top dress with no bra; her bare back was without a shawl to cover her shoulders. And she was wearing red 4-inch heels with matching make up. Because Trina’s daughter was not used to walking in high heels, she walked like someone who had been drinking an alcohol beverage, and she looked like someone who had been walking the streets all night. After the graduation when Trina tried to express to her daughter her clothing was not appropriate for a high school graduation, her daughter moves out the home to live with Barbara Jean. It took Trina’s daughter six months of living with Barbara Jean to find out, Barbara Jean was no friend to her mom. She would overhear Barbara Jean talk on the phone about her mother. She couldn’t believe the nasty things she would overhear Barbara Jean say about her mother. Trina’s daughter realized that Barbara Jean used her to hurt her mother. She felt so bad and ashamed that she had participated in hurting her mom. That experience eventually bought Trina and her daughter closer together. Trina was able to gain insight as to why people had changed towards her in a negative way without them having a problem with each other. Trina’s daughter overheard Barbara Jean lie on her mother by talking about her mother’s character, morals, and beliefs in a negative way.

    Trina always noticed that Barbara Jean strived to outdo her or be better than her in their shared endeavors. Trina was not a competitive person; so, it did not bother her. She strives to just give her best for the cause not to compete. Soon after Trina’s daughter had informed her about the hate and lies that Barbara Jean was spreading about her; other people begin to express the same to Trina. These people would caution Trina by letting her know that Barbara Jean was not a true friend to her. Trina was hurt and did not understand what she had done to warrant this type of treatment from Barbara Jean. As Trina begin to spend time mediating and praying about the situation with Barbara Jean; she had a dream. In the dream, Trina could clearly see that Barbara Jean was jealous of her demeanor and spirit, as well as, her willingness to help others without expecting anything in return. She was jealous of people complimenting Trina’s work performance and her organization skills. She was jealous of Trina housekeeping skills; Trina was very picky about keeping a clean house and she is a good cook who was constantly entertaining family and friends at her home. Barbara Jean was especially jealous of what she perceived as the favor of God on Trina’s life; simply because Trina would pray about something and it appears to Barbara Jean that God answer Trina’s prayers right away. When Trina confronted Barbara Jean about all she had heard and learned about her being against her; Barbara Jean did not deny it; she simply ends her friendship with Trina by ghosting her. Barbara Jean ending their friendship confirmed to Trina that all she heard and received spiritually was true. Trina refuses to allow the way Barbara Jean feels about her cause any discomfort in her life. Trina bought closers to the relationship by praying in private for her ex-friend.

    Trina is a person who is obviously walking in the light of God’s love, and it appears, that is the only light she wants to shine on her. God’s love is a Supernatural, Super Spiritual Love that no one’s hate or lies can manipulate or control. Trina prayed that Barbara Jean diverts her focus to obtaining the light that darkness cannot dim; which is God’s light. Trina hopes that Barbara Jean builds a relationship with God so that she can see that God’s love and favor is for all who accepts it.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Promises! Promises! Promises!

    Promises! Promises! Promises!

    Let’s talk about it…

    Patricia and Bernard have been best friends since the age of five. Patricia’s parents purchase a home next door to Bernard’s family home when she was four years old. Bernard’s mother Janice came over with cookies to welcome Patricia’s family to the neighborhood. From that point on, Patricia and Bernard’s mothers became the best of friends. Both women were in their early thirties when they met and for medical reasons was not able to have any more children. Because they had a lot in common medically and personally; they were able to give each other support during their emotional roller coaster up and down mood swings.

    Patricia and Bernard’s parents did not allow them to play outside of their fenced in backyard. This is because the kids in their neighborhood were age twelve and up. They both play with kids their age at school; however, their classmates lived three or more blocks away. As they grew older people begin to call them the Dexter twins because they both lived on Dexter Drive and were very close.

    At the age of sixteen, Bernard’s parents bought him a Range Rover car and gave him a black card to cover his expenditures. Patricia’s parents were more conservative in their spending as well as in how they raised their daughter. Bernard would drive him and Patricia to and from school. When Patricia started working part-time after school, Bernard would pick her up assuring that she made it home safely. He really considers Patricia his little sister since he was three months older than her. In turn, Patricia loved and respected Bernard as an older brother. She had his back no matter what.

    Patricia notice Bernard’s popularity grew while they were in college. Every day, Bernard had a different girl on his arm or riding in his car. Patricia was dating Bernard’s friend Randy. Randy would tell Patricia about the unfulfilled promises Bernard would make to the girls that was hanging around him. Because Bernard would use his black card to wine and dine these girls, they believed in the promises he made to them. Patricia would listen but remain neutral. She never gave an opinion. She knew what Randy was saying about the unfulfilled promises Bernard made to the girls was true because the young ladies begin to confide in her. The young ladies would tell Patricia about Bernard having them spend their monthly allowance and book money to cover weekend trips while his black card was on a temporary three day hold because of suspicious activity of use in another state. The young ladies would spend their money without question because Bernard previously used his black card to wine and dine them; and, on occasions take them shopping to purchase a nice outfit. When the ladies ask for reimbursement for the money they spent to cover the weekend trip, Bernard would act like he did not know what they were talking about. Then he would remind the ladies of what he done for them when they become irate with him. He would call them gold diggers who is only with him because of what he could provide to them. Bernard’s popularity in college begin to cease prior to graduation. Bernard and Patricia have this one female friend in college who was not a victim of Bernard’s promises made during his college days. Her name is Gladys. Gladys always had a crush on Bernard but did not express it to him because of all the young ladies he entertained. After graduating from college, Patricia and Randy took their relationship to the next level. Randy gave Patricia a promise ring as they both agreed to exclusively date each other as they build their relationship with the hopes of becoming husband and wife. Patricia was concern about Bernard; she decided to take him to dinner to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. She could see he was feeling a little melancholy about the next chapter of his life after the young ladies dissipated from his life. At dinner, Patricia asked Bernard why he never asked Glady out on a date? Is she not your type; asked Patricia? “I find Gladys very attracted states Bernard; and yes, she is my type. I never asked her out on a date because I put Gladys in a higher statue as the other girls I was dating in college.” What do you mean by higher statue asked Patricia? “Well, I see Gladys as marriage material, not as a party girl. She would be someone I will date when I am ready to settle down.” “Bernard, I’m not sure where you are, at this stage of your life; and I don’t want to rush or influence you to make a rash decision. However, please be aware that young ladies like Gladys are rare and they do not sit on the market for too long if you know what I mean. Glady has a crush on you. She never showed her interest in you because you were always entertaining multiple women at the same time. I just thought you should know.” “Thanks, Patricia, for the wakeup call. I will give our conversation some thought.”

    Three months after graduating from college, Bernard finds a job at a local TV station working in production. After he moves out his parent’s home into a one bedroom, his parents pay off his black card and closed the account. Not having the multiple ladies in his life any longer, Bernard decided to give Gladys a call. They talked on the phone for nearly an hour; catching each other up on their current status in life. Bernard finally had the courage to ask Gladys out on a date.  She accepts his offer. However, Bernard missed the excitement from his college days. He loved spending money without any restrictions. He loved how people looked up to him and wanted to be around him because the sky was the limit. He was well known among his peers. The men envy him and all the women wanted to be with him. Now, his life has taken a drastic change. Bernard wants that feeling of excitement and rush again. It made him feel happy and validated. Bernard had applied for a black card, in his name only, after his parents canceled the one, they gave to him at the age of sixteen. Bernard shows up at Gladys’ apartment at 1:00pm on the day of their date. Gladys was surprised to see him. “What are you doing here so early? I thought we agree to you picking me up at 6:00pm.” “You are correct. Although it is not part of the original plan, I come to take you shopping.” Shopping! Why are we going shopping asked Gladys? “I want us both to dress accordingly for the five-star restaurant we will be dining at tonight. I am taking you to Le Marmalade” Wow, states Gladys; that’s an expensive fancy restaurant on the other side of town. “Well, this is a special day; and I want it to show in where we dine for the evening.” Bernard spends $900 for Gladys’ dress, $200 for a one-ounce bottle of perfume and $1,000 for her shoes. His outfit cost a total of $2,500. They were dress to impress when they pulled up to valet parking. They looked and smell like money. The parking lot attendants were making sure they were handled with care in hopes of a huge tip. The combined meal for two cost $1,000 with 25 percent in gratuity, the total billed came to $1,250. The couple did not order an appetizer or dessert. Gladys notice Bernard paid with a black card for dinner and when they went shopping earlier in the day. At dinner, Bernard expressed to Gladys that he was looking for a wife because he was ready to settle down, start a family and buy a home in one of their lavish city’s areas. He tells Gladys that it is his desire to one day marry her. He asked for their relationship to be exclusive. Gladys stated that she would love to be in an exclusive relationship with him. She expressed how she always liked him and prayed that one day they would become a couple.

    One year after dating, Bernard purchases a ten-carat diamond engagement ring for Glady. He asked to move in with Gladys in order to save money for their dream home. Little did Glady know; Bernard was racking up debt. He was working a second part-time job and had borrow a substantial amount of money from his parents. Bernard had a friend who worked in Real Estate as a broker. Bernard talked Glady into them purchasing their dream home two months before the wedding. He tells Glady that he wants to take her across the threshold of their forever home after the wedding. Bernard’s Real Estate Broker friend takes them around viewing homes between the range of a million to five million. They both agreed on a five bedroom 4 ½ bath home causing two million. The Broker states, he would contact them after he receives the acceptance letter for the offer. Three days later, the Broker calls Bernard to tell him that their offer was accepted. Bernard had added Gladys to his credit union account prior to them looking for a home. He tells her that he wanted them to pre-qualify for the home together using the same creditor. Little did Gladys know, only her credit was run for purchasing the home. Gladys had outstanding credit and a lucrative business. She was part owner of a medical clinic. Bernard tells the Broker that Gladys is embarrass of the fact that she will be the one purchasing their home. And after he finish paying off some debt, they will refinance the home to add his name to the loan. So, he asked the broker to not make her feel worse by mentioning she is the only one purchasing the home. The broker tells Bernard, he understands will make sure she is not embarrassed. Bernard arranged for Gladys to go to the broker office to sign the mortgage documents without him. He asked the Broker to not have the notary provide copies of the signed documents directly to her; but to instruct her that the documents copies will be sent by courier to their home. As long as it was legal the Broker did not care what their preference were.  Bernard tells Gladys that he will sign the following day after she signs.

    Before adding Gladys’s name to his credit union bank account, Bernard had borrowed three hundred thousand and had the money wire to his credit union. He was able to pay the two hundred thousand for the down payment of the house. Bernard had a second bank where his work check was deposit. He used the second bank to paid his bills. Bernard and Gladys had agreed that he will pay the down payment on the house and she will pay for the wedding. He was happy that he did not have to figure out how he was going to pay for the wedding. Gladys also agreed to purchase new furniture for their master bedroom and for the kitchen before they move into their new home. They both agreed to purchase furniture for the remaining rooms of the house together.

    After the wedding, Bernard was able to carry his new wife across the threshold of their new home. Bernard was promoted on his job which helped a little with his debt. One week after the wedding, Gladys notices their first mortgage statement was in her name only. When Gladys confronted Bernard, he claims the credit union mortgage agent stated his credit was not needed because Gladys was pre-approved for the entire amount needed to purchase their home. Bernard diverted Gladys’ attention away from the mortgage by telling her she can use $20,000 of the hundred thousand in the credit union joint account to finish furnishing the house. Gladys knew twenty thousand would barely furnish the living and dining room together. Gladys thought to herself that she will match the twenty thousand and they both will purchase furniture for the remaining bedrooms as needed.

    Now that Bernard and Gladys are living together as husband and wife, she notices he appears to be having many melancholy moments. When not working long hours, he sits in their bedroom in the dark. Also, she notices he doesn’t show affection. Suddenly Gladys realizes Bernard never shown any form of affection. She had allowed his bubbly personality blind her from seeing his authentic self. Gladys pleaded with Bernard to seek counseling with her. She tells him she feared their marriage will not survive a year if they don’t go to counseling. Bernard realizing it was difficult keeping himself in high spirit agreed with his wife.

    After three months of counseling, the psychologist concluded, “the swift shift into life as Adult has been a dramatic change for Bernard. Throughout Bernard’s childhood his parent expressed their love by buying him whatever he wanted. They gave him a black card to cover his expenses at the age of 16. Bernard realized in his early stages of life, fortune bought him attention and affection without recourse for who he was as a person. He made financial promises to people that he did not keep. He caused people to get into debt because of the promises he made. No one checked his creditability for the promises made because he was the big man on campus spending money lavishly. Taking people to five-star restaurants and throwing huge parties on his black card. What people did not know is that Bernard’s spending behavior was his way of expressing love and receiving affection from the people who cheered him on as they enjoyed being in his company because of the financial good time he gave them. Bernard gave to people what he received from his parents. Bernard doesn’t know how to express love outside of showing people a good time. When he cannot express love in the only way he knows, it causes him to become sad and to withdraw from people.” The psychologist ends her conclusion with the following statement; “now that we know the cause of Bernard’s lack in affection, sad moments, and isolation from socializing, we can work on coming up with strategies to change these behavioral traits. I recommend weekly personal counseling for Bernard and once a month family counseling with you both.” Bernard and Gladys both agreed to counseling.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Is it Lust; or Is it Love?

    Is it Lust; or Is it Love?

    Is it lust or is it love; the jury is still out for deliberation?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Benjamin Lee Johnson was raised by his grandparents. He never met his birth parents. His parents were among many rushed to the hospital after their plane crashed in the ocean. Benjamin mother was eight months pregnant at the time of the crashed. His parents were returning home from London to have their baby in the U.S. Benjamin grandparents received the heart-breaking phone call within a few hours of his birth. His birth mother made sure the hospital staff was fully aware of the next of kin before she closed her eyes. His grandparents were able to savage some pictures of his birth parents from their luggage which was delivered to them from the airlines.

    Benjamin grew up shelter from the world. His grandparents sent him to a private school that was located within a gated private property. The students’ activities and whereabouts were monitor with onsite cameras throughout the private gated property. No student was able to leave the property without a legitimate approved reason or without an adult escort. Benjamin grandparents were determined to protect him and themselves from the wilds of public school. When Benjamin wasn’t in school, he was in church with his grandparents five days a week. Benjamin learned to play the organ and the drums. He was a member of the church band. At the age of sixteen, Benjamin decided he wanted to become a lawyer as well as a preacher. After graduating from high school, he went to college during the day to become a lawyer, and he went to seminary school two nights each week to become a preacher. Benjamin combined the celebration for his twenty-third birthday with the celebration for obtaining two degrees. His grandparents rented a hall and invited all his friends from church and school.

    Benjamin has never had a girlfriend. For this reason, he would avoid conversations with his guy friends about girls. He did not want them to know that he was unexperienced in dating. On occasions, Benjamin would witness couples on campus at college kissing or walking and holding hands. He never touched a woman. He wasn’t sure how to kiss. From observing others, at times it looked like some couples was kissing with their mouth open, and other times it looked like their lips were glued together. He wasn’t sure which was appropriate or if he was to ask the girl. Benjamin became a junior preacher to the head preacher at his church. Because he had begun to think a lot about women, he decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with the preacher. Benjamin did not want his thoughts of women to interfere with his duties as a junior preacher. The preacher was very surprised that Benjamin never had a girl friend or was never taught about the birds and the bees. Benjamin was clueless about intimacy and romance. The preacher did not know how to educate a grown man on intimacy. He told Benjamin to find himself a nice, single church girl to marry and God would teach him the rest. Benjamin did as instruct by his preacher. He noticed April appeared to be raised in the same manner as himself. They both attended the same private school. After graduating high school, she went to college to get her degree as a Registered Nurse. She came to his twenty-third birthday celebration solo. Following the instructions of his preacher, Benjamin asked April to go on a date with him. He took her to a nice restaurant. During dinner, he discussed his need to get marry and have a family.  April was grinning from ear to ear during dinner. She couldn’t believe someone as handsome as Benjamin was talking to her about marriage. She agrees with everything Benjamin said to her. They both vowed on their first date to continue dating for a year, then to marry each other.

    One year later, the two was married at their church by the senior preacher. Their wedding receptionist was held in the banquet hall at the church. Their wedding night was very awkward because neither was experience. Their love making was clumsy but enjoyable. Their intimacy was lacking substance. There was No foreplay or very much outward affection. Benjamin would hold April hand when they were out in public and on occasions, he would kiss her on the lips. They both knew something was missing; but did not know how to correct it. April because pregnant after one year of marriage. She gave birth to twins; a girl and a boy. The twins consume the majority of her time. Benjamin was working for a law firm that kept him busy. The couple appeared to use staying busy as an excuse for their lack in affection towards each other. They both always talked about how tire they were before going to bed. Their sex life became a once per week quickie.

    The senior preacher was scheduled to have surgery; which meant he would need someone to cover for him for approximately three months. The senior pastor asked Benjamin if his schedule would allow him to cover. Benjamin agreed to cover. He immediately started with having a meeting with the church staff to set up his schedule. The congregation was familiar with Benjamin preaching style from him stepping in from time to time when the senior pastor took a day off or took a short vacation. The congregation loved Benjamin as a preacher. The offering would go up when he preached as well as the sanctuary would be packed with people standing. Extra chairs had to be place down the aisles and in the back. The people were hungry for a fresh word, which Benjamin did not fell to deliver each week. Benjamin private counseling sessions with parishioners were always booked up on Saturdays from 1:00pm to 5:00pm. Each session was schedule for thirty minutes in length. Benjamin was good with wrapping up the sessions five minutes before the next session begin, in order to take a short break in between. This one particular Saturday, Benjamin was scheduled to meet with Ms. Buffy Chamber at 4:30pm. She was his last session for the day and week. Buffy was running late, she called the church to inform the staff that she would be ten minutes late; however, she arrived twenty minutes late. Because of her tardiness, the staff rescheduled Buffy’s counsel session. Ms. Buffy pleaded with the staff that it is important she counsel with the pastor today; because it was a matter of life or death. Benjamin heard Buffy pleading with the church staff. He interjected by letting the staff know that he was willing to stay a few minutes over to counsel with Buffy. He told the staff that he would be okay and they should leave at their normal time after locking up the church. He informed the staff that he would lock up the office. It was five o’clock by the time Benjamin sat down to start his counseling with Buffy. The staff had finish locking up the church and was heading out the door. The office building front door automatically locked behind the staff as they exist the building. Benjamin asked Buffy what bought her into the office for counseling. Buffy stated she was fighting strong temptation and avoiding intimacy with one of the deacons who had been coming on to her for several months. She tells Pastor Benjamin, she had no physical attraction to this deacon; however, she was having sexual urges that was controlling her thoughts. Pastor Benjamin asked Buffy if she was married and sexually active. “Pastor, states Buffy; I am not married or currently sexually active. However; I was sexually active approximately 2 ½ years ago, when I was twenty-one, before I broke up with my boyfriend. So, my body is definitely missing what I am familiar with. I am now trying to live this holy life without sex; but the deacon keeps whispering in my ear, what it is he wants to do to me. I trying to avoid him, but every time I turn around, he is in my private space. My body craves what the deacon is saying he is going to do to me; however, I do not want it from him.”  Ms. Buffy, if you like I can have a talk with the deacon. Hopefully it will help to ease your cravings by not having him speak sexual fantasies in your ear. Benjamin felt very awkward. He was not skilled in the sex department and wasn’t sure what to say to Buffy. “Okay, Pastor Benjamin, if you think it would help.” Buffy gave Benjamin the deacon’s name. Benjamin asked to pray with Buffy before she leaves. Buffy, agreed to prayer. Benjamin begins to pray while sitting in his seat behind the desk. Buffy interrupts him before he could get too deep into the prayer.

    Pastor, can we stand and hold hands, I would like to make sure God see we are touching and agreeing in the name of Jesus. They both stood and held hands. After Benjamin finish praying, Buffy gave him a long and hard hug. Benjamin body begin to tingle in places it shouldn’t be tingling in. He jumped when he felt his manhood raised; so, did Buffy when she felt it rise. Buffy placed her hand on the forbidden as she passionately kissed him. Benjamin was paralyzed. He couldn’t move. Although, he knew what was taking place was forbidden, he couldn’t stop it. The energy that was on him was strong. He couldn’t open his mouth to pray it away. He found himself surrendering to its power. Him and Buffy had sex on the floor of the office. Benjamin experience love making for the first time. It blew his mind. He didn’t know sexual intercourse could feel so good. He never had anyone done to his body what Buffy did to him. He found himself engaging in a way that he did not know he was capable of knowing what to do. Afterwards, he was silence; he didn’t know what to say. “Thang Pastor, I didn’t know you had that in you, states Buffy. Look! I’m going to get out of here so you can close up the office. Thanks for seeing me at the last minutes. Oh yeah, and thanks for volunteering to talk to the deacon for me. Bye Pastor, have a good evening.” Shouts Buffy after leaving the office. Benjamin went to the Senior Pastor’s personal bathroom upstairs in the office building to take a quick shower.  In fear of bringing attention to himself by using one of the Senior Pastor’s towels, he dried his body with paper towels, he placed the wet paper towels in the kitchen area trash cans.  Benjamin realized he has just experienced the stronghold of sexual temptation. Also, he realized why people who is struggling with temptation cannot be around other people who is struggling with temptation. He especially realized why Pastors do not counsel without office staff being near; and why a taste of the forbidden fruit becomes a stronghold. He realized spirits are transferrable; transferring from one person to another; and one had transfer to him. For this reason, he understood why the forbidden fruit he just tasted was sweet and pleasing to his flesh. He hasn’t stop thinking about it. Instead of feeling shame and guilt, he is finding himself thinking about its pleasure. As Pastor Benjamin drove home, he decided to take a three-week Sabbatical from counseling in order to fast and pray. He needs to cleanse himself of the spirit that had attached itself to his flesh.

    After a couple of weeks of fasting from sun up to sun down each day; and praying daily, Pastor Benjamin was feeling stronger. He no longer craves the flesh of Buffy. He felt strong enough to talk with the deacon who had been harassing Buffy with sexual remarks. Also, he made sure his staff was always near during counseling sessions. He prayed with staff before starting counseling and after ending counseling. He did not want any unwelcome dark spirits latching on to his flesh again. Although, he felt forgiven for his sins, and was confidence in his renewed strength, the sexual experience he learned did not leave him. He used his experience to bring joy to his marital bed. Him and his wife begin to look at each other differently. They both begin to show each other a lot of affection. What the enemy meant for evil; God used it for good. Pastor Benjamin and his wife was enjoying each other sexually. Him and his wife fell in love with each other.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Narcissistic Maniac! WT*?

    Narcissistic Maniac! WT*?

    What do you do when you discover your mate is a narcissistic maniac?

    Let’s talk about it…

    The dictionary describes Narcissist as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. An online unknown source list narcissistic personality disorder symptoms as follows.

    • Being overly boastful, exaggerating one’s own achievements
    • Pretending to be superior to others
    • Lack of empathy for others
    • Looking down on others as inferior
    • Monopolizing conversations
    • Impatient, angry, unhappy, depressed or has mood swings when criticized
    • Easily disappointed when expected importance is not given
    • Always craves for “the best” in everything
    • Has a very fragile (easily broken) self-esteem

    Because a Narcissistic person wants people to see them as perfect, they hide who they really are; especially, when they first meet a person. Socializing with a narcissistic person overtime will expose their true characteristic personality. Let’s see if we can recognize the signs missed by Patrice in the following short story.

    Patrice had been living her best life as a single, non-dating individual for five years when she met Chris at her friend’s birthday party. Patrice previous relationship was very hostile. For this reason, she wasn’t interested in dating anyone. Patrice would only socialize within a group atmosphere. Every time she was approached by someone wanting to get to know her in a personal way, she would politely inform them that she was taking a sabbatical leave from dating in order to heal emotionally. Patrice no longer had the desire to jump into a relationship with the first man who showed interest in her. When she met Chris, she felt secure within herself, in making a better choice when it comes to selecting a mate. She felt, taking the proper time to heal emotionally and spiritually has help her confidence in selecting a mate. When Chris approached her, she was beyond comfortable with his characteristic traits portrayed among their social group. She watched for three years how well Chris socialized with the group. He was always helpful, very polite, slow to anger, and the voice of reason. As Patrice observed how Chris operated within the group, she would often wonder why he was not dating someone. He always showed up solo to every event the group put together. Chris showing up solo actually help Patrice feel comfortable in not being the only one showing up without a date.

    Patrice felt there was no harm in talking with Chris over the phone when he asked to call her sometimes. She thought to herself, it would be a good way to get to know him better. Patrice was prepared, so she thought, to recognize red flags that would say NO to her and Chris relationship moving beyond a friendship. Patrice was determined not to repeat history by selecting the wrong type of man to be in a relationship with, which is what lead to her taking a break from dating. Patrice and Chris talked over the phone for nearly five months before going on a date. They would often facetime each other whenever they talked. Her only concern was why he had not dated anyone for the last four years. She found it strange. After five months of talking over the phone, they went on their first date. Chris was the perfect gentleman. For the first two months of dating Patrice always met Chris at the restaurant or event they attended as a couple. Because Chris was very patience with her, she felt comfortable in allowing him to come to her home. To her surprised, Chris was the perfect gentleman in her home. He did not try to force himself on her. He asked to kiss her before leaning in for a kiss. He went home at a reasonable time. He helped her clean up the kitchen. Each time they went out, he opens the door for her and he refused to allow her to pay for anything. The only thing he did not do was pull out her chair when she sat. Patrice loved Chris smile. He was always smiling and he appeared to always be listening to her when they talk. She did notice, his feedback in conversations was usually brief, to the point, and in high regards of himself. Patrice was not looking for someone without any flaws; she was looking for someone who was open to show his flaws. And she was looking for someone whose flaws would not harm her in anyway. She understands that compromise is part of any real relationship. However, she was not willing to compromise with someone who is mean spirit; and disrespectful. She did not want to be in a relationship with someone who is mentally or physically abusive. Patrice felt Chris’ flaws appeared to be harmless and something she could live with. Patrice felt very relax and comfort with Chris. On Patrice’s birthday, Chris surprised her with an engagement ring. He asked Patrice to marry him. Patrice feeling like she had found the perfect man said yes to Chris proposal. Chris expressed to Patrice that he wanted a short-term engagement; he was ready to get marry as soon as possible. Patrice wanted time to plan an extravagant wedding. Chris convinces Patrice, the money saved on a wedding could be used as a down payment on a house. Patrice was happy that Chris was thinking about their future together. Therefore, she agreed to a court house wedding with only her closes friends and family in attendance. On the day of the wedding, Patrice was surprise that not one person in Chris’ family attend. As planned, Chris and Patrice purchased a house together immediately after getting married at the court house.

    Everything was going well with Chris and Patrice up to the point of decorating and moving into their new house. After they were settled into their home, Chris true authentic self slowly surface. Each time Patrice would talk on the phone to a family member or a friend, Chris would become agitated and throw stuff around. He would knock mail off the table onto the floor; he would push the decorate pillows off the couch onto the floor, and slam doors. Patrice often would immediately end her phone conversation to see what was wrong. Chris would act like he doesn’t know what Patrice is talking about when she asks him why is he behaving in the same manner as a child having a tantrum. He would make her feel bad for asking that question. Also, after living together, Patrice discovers Chris is very messy and would leave his mess for her to clean up. Patrice noticed that Chris stop opening doors for her when it was only the two of them; he would only open the door for her if someone else was present to witness him being a gentleman. Taking out the trash is the only indoor work Chris did within their home. He would give Patrice orders on chores she needed to do in cleaning the house; especially on the weekends. After she would clean the entire house, he would walk on her clean floors with mud on his shoes from him watering the flower bed. Chris was a complete slob behind closed doors; he would leave his funky, dirty clothes all over the house. He would take his coat off; throw it on the couch until he was ready to wear it again. Whenever he would shop at the grocery store for his personal favorites, he would place the bags of grocery on the floor until Patrice put the items away; and he would put his work boots on the dinning room or kitchen table until Patrice removes them. Chris never help Patrice carry heavy items from her car into the house, unless a neighbor was watching; only then would he help her. Chris was all about how others proceed him. He was always ready to put on a gentleman show in the presence of others.

    Whenever Chris and Patrice travel together by car, he would get mad at Patrice if he missed his exit on the freeway or had trouble finding the location of where he was going. He would yell at her for not having his back by assisting him with directions. On the flip side, when she did try to help him with directions, he would yell at her for trying to be the front seat driver as a passenger. Patrice was so happy that their home had 2 ½ baths; therefore, she did not have to share a bathroom with Chris. Chris would take two-hour baths using two to three different bubble bath products at one time. He never cleaned his tub or his bathroom. Patrice refused to clean Chris’ bathroom. She couldn’t understand how he would come out his bathroom looking clean and smelling fresh with all those gems from not cleaning his bathroom. He would spend hours in his bathroom, making sure his hair, face and clothes were perfect. He used facial creams, body creams, and special hair product. His clothes have to be fresh from the cleaners, and his shoes had to be freshly polished. Outside appearances and acknowledgements were very important to Chris. He would get mad at Patrice if he did not get the accolades, he expected each time he stepped outside among people. Chris would talk down about people who did not recognize him as a perfect gentleman. Patrice was not allowed to dominate any conversations when Chris was around. He prefers her to play the dumb silent wife who looks to her husband for all the answers. Anyone who comes into their home and do not acknowledge him as the head is no longer welcome into their home; this includes Patrice’s family. It was Patrice’s responsibility to make sure the unwelcome person was no longer invited into their home.

    After five years of marriage, Patrice asked Chris for a divorce. As she tried to have a conversation with him regarding the reason, she wants a divorce; he argued that her feelings were fraudulent; therefore, he did not want to hear them. He stated that she is hiding her true feelings of not being able to handle his level of perfection; and therefore, he flipped her request by asking her for a divorce.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Silence is a virtue when it comes to telling your truth

    Silence is a virtue when it comes to telling your truth

    Why do you have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to telling other people truth?

    Let’s talk it…

    Dr. Know is a well-known oral surgeon. He graduated top of his class over thirty years ago from a well-known University. He is the CEO of a dental network he founded twenty years ago. Dr. Know has been married twenty-five years, and he has three kids with his wife. Dr. Know uses many media platforms to advertise his practice. He advertises on television, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.  After Dr. Know and his family became a reality TV star five years ago; he has used his social media platform to speak on other people lives. With all that is on Dr. Knows plate; overseeing a dental network, on reality TV; how does he have time to blog about people personal lives. It appears he is trying to keep the attention off self by deflecting the assumption people makes about him being a loud mouth nosey person who is partaking in an alcoholic drink in every media appearance he makes as well as on reality TV. In every TV scene, Dr. Know is sipping from a tall coffee mug. Whatever he is drinking in that mug keeps him bubbly and in high spirit. Although people complaint about him being a busy body who is in everyone’s personal affairs; they all admits he is a darn good oral surgeon. People praise his work as one of the best in his home State.

    Dr. Know do not want anyone, and I mean anyone to talk about his wife and kids in a negative or a personal way. He calls his wife “Mama”. Dr. Know has a good-looking family. His youngest child, who is his twin in looks, is 15 years old. One would have thought his youngest child, who is his only son and is his identical twin, would have been named after his father. Dr. Know oldest two children have acquired their mother’s looks. They are very beautiful, quiet, and as the reality story goes, they are top of their class in college. Through-out the five years Dr. Know has been on reality TV, his oldest two children have only made a few appearances. His son has practically grown up on TV as one of the reality stars.

    Dr. Know has had verbal altercations with all the cast members since the start of his appearance on reality TV. Most viewers blame it on the liquid; he is drinking in his coffee mug. His coffee mug has become as well-known as Dr. Know; after all, it has been in ninety-five percent of the televised scenes. In additional to being an outstanding oral surgeon, Dr. Know is outstanding in expressing verbal insults towards people who has pushed his anger control button. Pushing his anger control button slightly into the red will cause Dr. Know to shout a warning phrase called “Your Daddy”. The phrase “Your Daddy” is a well-known saying in urban communities when someone is trying to ignite the anger of a person or warn the person to back off. “Your Daddy” in most communities are fighting words; because it’s an implication that you are talking about that person daddy in a negative way, now one must defend the honor of their father whom they dearly love and respect. Further pushing Dr. Know anger control button deep into the heart of red, will cause Dr. Know to curse a person out from head to toe; adding insults about the cursed-out person spouse; house; life; looks; and profession. Once Dr. Know anger control button has been moved back into the black; he immediately rectify the situation by saying “get over it; the truth hurts”. Never does he apology because that would be admitting fault on his part.

    Approximately three years ago, Dr. Know and a former cast member whose tongue is equally as sharp as Dr. Know had a heated argument. The roof was blown off the building as these two angerly shouted insults after insults at each other. The viewers were on the edge of their seats when Dr. Know shouted “Your Daddy”. The former cast member well aware of the phrase was not having it. The former cast member had to defend the honor of their father; whom often appeared on the reality TV show. The only reason security did not have to intervene is because the two social distance their insults to each other. At one point, security was about to seriously earn their pay when the former cast member had walked out the door then re-enter walking sideways towards Dr. Know. It was about to go down. The former cast mate looked at security than decided, it was not worth it.

    Although Dr. Know has been in arguments with each cast member; they all seem to really get alone with Dr. Know the majority of the time. They all avoid mentioning Dr. Knows wife name in any capacity; good or bad. Dr. Know is very protected as well as jealous about his wife. No one is to address her as “mama” the nickname he has given to her. Or call her by her first name.  Because his wife is also a doctor; he only allows people to call her “Mrs. Dr. Know” without him getting angry. Dr. Know doesn’t allow any man to talk to his wife, at a social gathering, longer than one minute. He doesn’t allow his wife to look at another man longer than a few seconds. Dr. Know treat his wife in the same manner as his collection of precious gemstones. He locks all his jewelry and gemstones in his floor to ceiling vault. During social gatherings at his home, he brings them out for show and tell. He loves how the people make “ooaa” and “aww” sounds at his collection. The people have permission to look but not touch.

    Last season, Dr. Know showed a softer side when he supported a cast member who was having marital problems. For the entire season, he patiently listens to the cast member; encourage the cast member; reassured the cast member that they did nothing wrong to cause their spouse to publicly disrespected them on a reality TV show. As soon as the last season filming of the show ended; Dr. Know used social media such as Instagram and Twitter live to communicate with fans about the show. The fans had many questions about the cast mates’ personal lives outside of filming. Dr. Know was happy to answer every question; especially all the intricate details about his cast mate personal private life regarding their spouse. The cast mate couldn’t believe Dr. Know boldly spoke about their personal life on social media. The cast mate feels whatever was not shown during filming is private information that shouldn’t be shared publicly outside their reality TV circle. In the words of Dr. Know; “if the fans want to know and ask, I’m all here for it, as long as they are asking about other cast mates’ personal life instead of mines”.

    Because Dr. Knows social media conversations with fans has grown so large; he decided to start a Podcast. Dr. Know decided to use his podcast to speak on all the reality TV shows that are of interest to him. Cast members from the other reality tv shows are using social media to express their disappointment in Dr. Know making assumptions about their lives. These cast members are rallying together to protest Dr. Know speaking on their lives when he doesn’t know anything about them. They feel his venom is more powerful than the normal reality TV blogger because of his title and position in reality TV. Dr. Know has went to the extreme of using his platform to contact other reality TV castmates directly to get the dirt on one of their cast members. Dr. Know is often told by reality stars to stick to his profession of dentistry. They often ask him, why must he defame someone character by speaking on people’s personal life. It was exposed that Dr. Know cut his hours in his professional business so that he would have time for his podcast. Instead of working eight to ten hours a day; he now only works four hours. And he doesn’t want to go a minute over four hours per day. Any patient sitting in his chair at the fourth hour has to reschedule to complete their dental work.

    Now that the new season of Dr. Know reality TV filming has started; the cast members want to have an intervention with him. They have planned to make a film of all his social media postings he did about their personal private life and play it for him as they express their hurt and disappointment in him. If this intervention doesn’t work; it’s a great possibly they might ghost him out of the group. Stay tune; we will see.

    https://bookofrelationship.com