Big Mama always said people of faith do not need to counsel with a psychologist; all they need is Jesus. Big Mama said, according to the preacher, if you go see a psychologist; you do not have faith. Where in the bible does it confirm what Big Mama said?

Let’s talk about it…

Many people of color were raised believing the myth mental disorders are of the devil; therefore, a person with a mental disorder needs Jesus not a psychologist or psychiatrist. Let’s look at how Destiny’s mother Keisha handles her daughter mental disorder.

As a child, Destiny would wake up screaming and crying for her father. Her father died in a car accident when she was eight years of age. Destiny did not officially meet her father until she was seven years of age. Prior to meeting him in person, she would hear her father’s voice shouting hurry up, after he pulls into the driveway honking his horn for her older brother Junior to come out the house. Each time her dad would pick up her brother, she would ask her mother the same questions. Why doesn’t daddy let me go with him and Junior? Why doesn’t daddy come into the house to say hi to me or see me? Destiny’s mom would always say the same thing. She would say, “because your father doesn’t know how to handle being a father to a girl child. He is afraid that he might say or do something to cause you to dislike him as a father. He feels a mother should spend time with her daughter. The explanation Destiny’s mom gave did nothing to help her with feeling sad or angry as well as alone. Destiny did not like playing outside; because, she did not have any friends. Mainly, because she would not socialize with the other kids at school.

Junior’s tenth birthday was coming in a month. He normally has a small party at home and a larger party at his dad’s house where most of his friends lived. Destiny never attends the party at their dad’s house. One day, after returning home from his dad’s house, Junior was upset. “What is wrong son, asked his mother?” “Dad has to go out of town on business the day after my birthday. He will be away for a month. I will not be able to have a birthday party at his house.” “Don’t be upset son, you can invite your friends to come here. We will celebrate with a huge party on the day of your birthday. We will have the party in the backyard to accommodate the extra kids.” Junior returned to his normal happy self after hearing all his friends could come to the house where he lives with his mom and sister. Destiny asked her mother, does this mean I can attend Junior’s party. Yes honey, you can attend your brother’s party.

Keisha hires her cousin, who is a party planner to setup the backyard for Junior’s tenth birthday party. Keisha was happy that both her kids could celebrate together with friends instead of the small intimate family party they normally had at her home. She asked Junior to invite his entire class including the girls. Also, Keisha invited family and friends she knew that had sons and daughters. She wanted this day to be special for both her kids. Keisha was grateful she has a large backyard, because all fifty kids invited RSVP to attend the party.

Keisha and her ex-husband, the kids’ father, separated when she was pregnant with Destiny. Her ex-husband put her out of their family home because he did not want her to have another child and she refused to terminate the pregnancy. She gave birth to their daughter without the father being present. Her ex-husband questions the paternity of the child she was carrying. The ex-husband only took a DNA test because it was court ordered to finalize the child support orders. Although, the test came back showing that Destiny and Junior have the same father, Keisha’s ex-husband refused to see his daughter or have a relationship with her. He would only pick up his son for weekend visits without coming into his ex-wife’s house.

As the ex-husband frantically prepared to leave town for his business trip, at the last minute,  he rushed out the day of his son’s birthday to purchase him a gift. He decided to drop off the gift before heading home to finish packing. He totally forgotten it’s a possibility his daughter would be present at her brother’s party. He was so use to the party being at his home where the daughter was not allowed to come. As the father goes through the side gate to the backyard to drop off the gift, he noticed his son was running to him shouting “dad, you came.” When Destiny hears her brother shouts “dad”; she turns to look in the direction where he was running. She sees him approaching a man she never met before in her life. She run towards them both. As her brother was hugging their dad, Destiny stood there looking at them. As the ex-husband hugs his son, he looks down at this beautiful little girl who looked like his mother’s twin. He stares at her until tears begin to run out his eyes. He kissed his son on the cheek, wished him a happy birthday then goes towards Destiny and continued to stared at her in silence. “Hi dad, said Destiny in a low soft voice.” “You are beautiful replied her dad. You look like my mother; your grandmother.” Destiny’s dad picks her up and weep in front of all who noticed. He couldn’t stop crying. He asked her how old was she. She tells him, “I will be eight years old in three months.” He promised to celebrate her birthday with her.

Destiny’s father kept his promise. He begins to spend time with both kids. He gave Destiny her fairytale birthday party at his home on her eighth birthday. Five months after Destiny’s eighth birthday party, her father was killed in a car accident. Although both kids were extremely traumatized and hurt, Destiny was diagnosed as having signs of depression by her doctor and the school counselor. She was totally withdrawal and had to be home schooled. The pediatrician gives Keisha a referral to take Destiny to a psychologist. Because her behavioral wasn’t aggressive the doctor felt talking to psychologist instead of a psychiatrist would better suit Destiny. Keisha was trouble in her spirit. She did not believe in psychologist. Being raised by both, her parents and grandparents who instilled the principles of faith and trusting in Jesus. She was taught mental disorders are of the devil and only Jesus through one’s faith can deliver someone from a mental disorder.

Keisha would fast every weekend and pray every day for over a year for Destiny healing before meeting Janice at a church convention. The two sat next to each other and would talk with each other during the breaks in between each session at the convention. Keisha begins to confide in Janice about her daughter mental disorder. After telling Janice her reason for not allowing Destiny to counsel with a psychologist, Janice looked at Keisha with a puzzle look. “Talk to me, states Keisha to Janice. Your look is saying a lot; however, I do not hear any words coming from your mouth. Please tell me what you are thinking.” Janice says to Keisha, tell me this; how long have you been attending church? All my life replied Keisha. Janice then asked, do you have a personal relationship with God?” “By reading and meditating on his word; replied Keisha.” Have you ever asked God to gift you with wisdom through his holy spirit. “Well states Keisha, I read my bible but not as often as I should. I mainly go by what is preached in church.” Keisha, I encourage you to read the bible so that you have a personal relationship or understanding of God’s word. It’s okay to seek clarity of God’s word with a Sunday school church leader or the preacher regarding what you have read in the bible. It is a possibility, what your Big Mama heard the preacher say might have been misunderstood by her. When you are confused by what someone tells you; asked them to show you in the bible. What God deposit in your spirit regarding a scripture may have a totally different meaning for someone else; nevertheless, both meanings can be within the scope of who God is; that is what matters. Keisha, I have been counseling with a psychologist for nearly two years. I went through a very traumatic event in my life; very similar to your daughter Destiny. My mother helped me find a Christian psychologist who counsel using Godly principles. My counselor has been a blessing in my life. Please take my number and if you choose to seek a psychologist for Destiny, I will be more than happy to share with you the name of my psychologist. I see it this way, a psychologist as well as a psychiatrist are doctors. We go to doctors for other ailments why not for mental disorders. I think some people get demon or devil possessed confused a mental disorder without taking into account that mental disorders are usually due to horrific or traumatic events in one’s life. In the Gospel according to Matthew of the bible, Matthew talks about Jesus’ healing people who was possessed with a devil by casting the devil out of the person. A person who is not using Godly wisdom can easily interpret these scriptures to mean all mental disorders are due to devil possession. Let God guide you in all understanding.

Keisha was happy she met Janice at the church convention. Keisha begins to read her bible more and pray for wisdom. She was baptized with the holy spirit and soon thereafter begin to hear the voice of God speak into her spirit. She allowed her daughter to counsel with the same Christian psychologist as Janice. Within six months of counseling, Destiny begins to socialize and invite friends over to her house. She was able to return to school. Keisha sometimes stares at her daughter in awe. She is so grateful to God for guiding her to the right place and people who was able to speak with wisdom into her life. To God be the Glory.

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